by Kris Buendía
I don't want to wait. I don't have to wait, but I'm scared. It would be so easy to fall for him because he is perfect. His imperfections make him perfect and I know there is still much more to know about him and about me. We can have all the time in the world for others, but not right now, for what we want for us.
“Fuck me” I order him “Don't make love to me because there is none. I want you to fuck me like you said you would the night we met. “
I don't need to ask him twice. He starts to take off my clothes right there in his apartment door. While he is kissing me I start to caress every inch of his body until I get to his member. The hot skin of his manhood calls me for more.
Once I`m naked he admires everything he sees, taking his lips to my nipples and his hands going down under to my wet spot. He starts playing with his fingers when he realizes that I`m ready for him. He is ready for me too.
“I don't think we are going to make it to the bedroom” he tells me.”
“Fuck me wherever you want, we`ll have time to get to the bedroom later. “
He picks me up from the floor and makes me wrap my legs around his waist. The point of his manhood tickles my spot and the heat keeps rising within me. This man is perfect, I can't find any other word to describe what he is about to do to me.
He places me in the nearest sofa. He starts kissing me again from my lips to my wet spot and tastes me.
“Duncan…”
“You taste so sweet…”
His tongue plays until he makes me scream of pleasure and makes me want more. I push him aside and put myself in front of him, I take his member and I put in my mouth. I too wish to taste him. And it's not sweet, it`s something more.
“ Holy fuck! “ He grunts and pulls his head back.
He lifts me quickly from the sofa and puts me in my knees. He opens my legs and he places himself behind me.
“Hang tight, babe.”
To hang tight?
Oh, yes.
I feel the point of his manhood going inside me little by little and I'm already hanging on for dear life when suddenly he pushes himself inside me all at once. This is what I call really fucking, but he does it in such a delicate and sweet way. This man's feelings can't be dead, his touch and the way he worships me show it to me every time he pushes himself in and out.
“Oh God, Duncan!” I moan.
The sound of him pounding on my ass is getting louder, as is the pressure pumping inside me. My hands are beginning to get weaker and I can barely hold myself. I feel like a delicate flower, experiencing new sensations in my body and with this man that is driving me crazy.
“Give me your arms” He says to me when he realizes I can't hold myself anymore. I put my arms behind me and he holds them as if he were to put a pair of handcuffs on me. He starts pounding harder when he gets the chance to push himself deeper. My body, what it’s feeling, is something I`ve never felt before.
The possession.
That ruling.
That surrender and lust mixed with passion and desire for wanting more.
“Duncan” I scream “I`m close.”
And so close. But I still want to feel him, and give us pleasure. Then he puts me on my back and puts himself between my legs. I need to kiss him and feel him kissing me, we entangle our tongues and I feel him inside me again, this time slower.
There is no hurry.
This is definitely different, the savage has disappeared and now he is making love to me. I know, because his eyes tell me so, and the way he kisses me and touches me.
“You are beautiful” I whisper touching his face “How come they didn't love you?”
The question hangs in the air in the moment that he starts moving more longingly. I grab his back and he bites my lower lip. His tongue caresses mine and his hands grab my hair to push himself in an out of me.
I love everything that he is doing.
He is strong and touches me the way he wants, but he doesn't hurt me. I wouldn't hurt him either. I realize that he and I are the same, a lot of times that can be dangerous.
“I want to make you come baby” he begs me looking into my eyes without stopping “I want your pleasure. Will you give it to me?”
“Oh, God! “ I squeal “I thought...I was already giving it to you.”
He finds my answer funny, but that look of danger shows me that he is being a bit cruel with me. I need more from him as well.
“I want more” He tells me again.
“I will give it to you if you give it to me” I answer back.
My judgment won`t be compromised just because he is giving me the best fuck of my life. I need it to be both ways. I need his pleasure too and everything else he can give me. I will take it all.
“You have it Lana” He grunts. I'm about to explode” Give it to me, now!
A strong wave invades my body and his. We become one as me succumb to our pleasure while trying to kiss and I just lay there. Holding him without thinking about what just happened.
I'm just living it.
CHAPTER
FOURTEEN
What are we supposed to do now?
We can't escape this. I was saved for my drunken nights, us sharing a meal and also a fight that was easy. But we`ve had sex, that changes everything. I know for a fact that none of this was casual for him, maybe it was for me, or at least I will try to make that way. I don't expect anything from him.
I already said it once. We are adults, sex is just sex and he hasn't ask me for love. He just wanted my pleasure, and he had it just as I had his.
“You are thinking things too much.”
Even though the first thing I wanted to do was run to my apartment and sleep in my bed, I'm still here, naked and cuddling with him in the same sofa that we were doing it a moment ago.
“I`m not thinking about anything” I lie.
“One way or another, you will not let you get rid of me that easily, Lana” he kisses my forehead” You are mine now.
“What does that mean, Duncan?“ Now I`m confused “Because we talked about not expecting anything from one another. Don't let a good fuck cloud your judgement, I'm fine, really.”
Duncan seems to believe my lie. Who the hell does not expect anything from a man like him? Despite the error he committed when he cheated in the past, he is still almost the perfect man. And I say almost, because my instinct tells me that there is a reason why he is still in the shadows.
“I won`t say it again, Lana.”
“I`m sorry?”
“Do you want something to drink? “ He changes my question for another “Because I`m thirsty.”
Perfect. Change the subject. Then I'll do better.
“I have to go. I have a surgery first thing tomorrow morning. “
I get away from him fighting my urge to stay near him and I pick up my clothes from the floor. As Duncan's eyes stare at my every move, I finish getting dressed.
“Are you sure you want to leave?” He asks as he starts walking towards me “We can continue this in the bedroom.”
“I better go. Trust me it has been enough.“
He finds my lie amusing. He has learned how to read me in such a short time that he picks up my nervousness right away.
Before I can turn and leave he stops me. Again that look that doesn't say much but means everything.
Despite wanting something so much and having it, it can still slip through your fingers so easily. That moment, because something I can't define, which makes it even more dangerous.
I reach my bed without looking back. But I kept thinking that only a wall stands between us. A few moment ago he was penetrating my soul and filling my every need. Now I`m lying in my empty bed. Trying to occupy every inch of it without wondering.
Next morning, after sleeping like if a truck had hit me, I prepared myself breakfast and I start to eat in silence. Anything to not run into my one night stand. But, when I hear h
im slamming the door next door, I get nervous. I wait a few minutes and nothing. He must have left. I put my plate on the sink and I get out the door.
My brain tricks me and starts remembering scenes from last night and I hold back a little smile as I walk to the elevator.
“Good morning.”
That voice makes me stop suddenly and almost scream from the scare he just gave me. I don't know where he came from.
“Something must have gone right last night for you to smile like that. “
Duncan is laying in the wall next to the elevator. His hands inside the pockets of his black pants.
I look at him carefully and I realize that I find him even more attractive.
His three piece suit and white shirt, are not typical for an early bird architect, but I like his style. He looks relax without trying too hard, I'm sure anything he wears must look spectacular.
I have to stop looking at him so much or I might start getting nervous.
“Good morning. “
He pushes the button to call the elevator, the doors opens and I`m the first one in when he offers me to. Duncan can`t take his eyes away from me and now I can't either.
“Have you done something different to your hair this morning?”
What kind of question is that? I know men don't pick up on those things.
“I`ve just let is loose.”
“I like it” He grazes it a little and I take a step back as a reflex.
“Thank you.”
The way is starting to feel a bit long, but I concentrate in the fact that the doors will open any second now so I can get out and breath.
“Have you had breakfast yet? “ He asks.
“A little, you?”
“I never have breakfast, I guess it`s a habit I need to change.”
“Breakfast is the most important meal of the day. “
Bravo. The least he needs right now is for me to talk to him like a doctor and tell him that.
The elevator doors open and again, I'm the one in a hurry.
“Bye.”
Without thinking if he heard me, the second I step I take out of the elevator, Duncan`s hand takes mine and stops me. Feeling his touch again and his dominance without hold wakes in me a bit of frustration.
“Duncan I have to go to work.”
He doesn't listen to my complaint and makes me walk with him and takes me to the buildings parking lot.
“I know.”
“You know. Then let me go. My car is not here.”
Again I'm lying. My car is here. But I like to walk to the hospital because it's not far. Now more than ever I need fresh air and not to breathe his perfume that I'm sure, I will be hours trying to get it out of my skin.
“You are a little liar. And a very bad one, Lana.”
“I don't have a reason to lie” I answer back.
“Then don`t.”
We stop in front of a car and I cross my arms when he opens the door.
“What are you doing?”
“I`m taking you to work.”
“No, you are not. You don't have to.”
His eyes look me up and down. As we are standing in front of each other it is a sure thing that he is thinking what I was a few moments ago.
“Are you like this because of last night? "
Shit, don't answer.
“No. I`m an independent woman and I don't like to be bossed around. Besides, you don't need to feel obligated to do anything. I don't expect a call from you or nothing. I'm a grown up, remember?”
He frowns as if he doesn`t believe a word I`ve just said. I`m being the woman he wants me to be. The grownup who accepts that she wanted to have sex with him and move on without expecting anything serious in return. Now that I'm showing myself like this he doesn't seem to like it.
He isn't saying anything and is not ready to let me go just yet. He blocks my way and his eyes are staring me intensely.
“Why are you looking at me like that? You are making me nervous. “
He likes that because he rarely smiles mischievously.
“Then the Lana I like is still in there” He gets close to my face and tempts my lips. He gets closer and closer to my neck and plants a kiss that sends warning signals to my brain.
“Duncan…”
“Does this make you nervous? “ He lick my earlobe and I shiver ”This? “ He keeps going, kissing my cheek…
“I…”
“Or this?”
His hand reaches my neck and with one perfect moment he kisses me. Before I can move him away, I feel his hand going down to my ass and he squeezes it over my thin pants. His chest grazes my nipples over the thin and transparent blouse I'm wearing and my robe along with my purse fall from my hands so I can grab his jacket and hold on while his tongue plays with me.
“We can`t...we can't do this here.”
I get away and like a magnet he starts to kiss me again, ignoring my words.
“Yes we can, you just have to want it. And you darling, definitely want it.”
“You said…”
“I said a lot of stupid thing lately.”
And I do a lot of them as well. At least we have that in common.
Without another word, he opens the car door for me and I get in. My curiosity is killing me so I take a look around the back seat.
Folders and envelopes everywhere, practically filling the backseat completely.
“Sorry for the mess” he tells me as he realizes what I'm doing.”
“Sorry for snooping.”
“You have the right to snoop all you want” he says.
“How far can I snoop?”
I`m going to take his word for it, even though I`ve never been a noisy woman to the point of knowing things and that has made me pay a high price. Snooping is not for me, but I try to look beyond of what I have in front of me.
“You`ll know when to stop. If you want to stop, do it.”
I take a second to think and then it all changes.
“And if I want to stop things between you and me?”
I curse when the traffic light turns red, because that allows Duncan to look at me closely. I knew my question would not be easy to answer, it's clear to me that Duncan doesn't take no for an answer, as he can`t swear by his lonesome man, unattached attitude towards women.
Duncan moves close to my face, letting me know that he knows that his nearness makes me nervous besides liking what my words make him do.
“Stop resisting, Lana” It's his husky warning voice “Because I have stopped doing it already ever since I had the pleasure of having you in my bed without being able to touch you. Do you know how it feels now that I have finally had you?”
I swallow the knot I have in my throat when I hear him talk to me like that. He was holding back? And of what? Of sleeping with me or of wanting something afterwards?
“I don't know if I can trust you Duncan. I feel that you are more grown up in this things than me. But I`m not in a position of waiting or asking things of you.”
“Ask me” he interrupts me, backing up the car “Ask me whatever you want babe. I promise you I`ll do it, you are the definitive.”
“The definitive? “ Shit, I say that out loud.
“You are, but we've arrived at your workplace.”
And he is right. We've arrived at the hospital and I hate that it's so close to where I live. Even more now after our first conversation after what happened last night.
“When does your shift end?“ He asks with his hands in the steering wheel.
“Almost at midnight.”
“I`ll come and pick you up, it's not safe for you to be driving at that time of night” he tells me “I already have your number in my phone, I'll call you so you have mine…”
“Wait, wait” I stop him, it's too much for me. This new Duncan is a little bit intense in the early morning “How come you have
my number?”
“Babe, that is the least of it.”
“Stop calling me that” I say “You make me nervous when you call me that.”
I take a deep breath. I don't need to argue with him about this.
“We`ll continue this conversation tonight, I promise” he finished the conversation.”
Again he kisses me and I allow it, giving him access to my lips and letting him caress my right cheek.
“It better be good. I don't want any more of your arrogance or business that is present this morning.”
“It will be, trust me. Now, go save another heart.
Another heart? The question lingers in the air and I ignore the thought that that comment was a personal one. “
I get out of the car thinking about that last thing and remembering his look. I could see that he truly wants to give it a shot and forget the things that he thought he could not give. Even though I don't know where this is going to end, I will give him the benefit of the doubt, as long as none of us end up hurt at the end. He deserves to be forgiven for his past errors and I deserve to be free of Gabe so my life can continue.
....
After four long hours in the OR, I gain my energy back maintaining myself busy with things in my office. I drink a cup of coffee and a light snack with Dixon and Agatha, but a few moments later it's just me again.
My phone rings, and I'm sure who it could be.
Duncan.
The unknown number on the screen makes me smile and I remember his demand from this morning.
“Hello” I answer distant as to provoke him a bit ”Who is this?”
I could swear his holding back a smile. Instead he snorts. He is not giving up his irrational ways.
“You know who it is” his husky voice lets me know he is more serious than usual “that hurt.”
I find his words amusing and I smile within.
“Hi Duncan. “
“Hi Babe.”
There we go again with that freaking word. I won't even bother in insisting him to stop calling me that.
“Done, now I have your number.”
“I didn't call you just for that. Am I interrupting something?”
“My loneliness” I let a big sigh out.