by Kris Buendía
Of course not. I like to touch him, see him and feel him. All of my senses intact for him. Even though it sounds tempting it's not what I want.
“You are not a bad persona baby. What you did was save him. We all have the right to choose when we want to stop suffering, when and how we get to live our lives. Not even the weight of the law should cloud our good judgement.”
“So…you and me we are ok?”
His answer has no words. On the other hand, he sits me in his lap and makes me kiss him.
“You and me…we are just getting started baby. You are still the definite one for me.”
And that is all I need to hear to start my day, this time, with a smile in my face and him in my thoughts.
CHAPTER
EIGHTEEN
Before getting out of the car, Duncan hands me a familiar box. He puts it in my hands and says:
“It was true about the gift.”
Surprised and confused I ask:
“Why did you bring me a gift? Isn't that a bit…”
“Serious? “ He finishes my question “Stop putting titles on everything, don't overthink things. I saw it and I thought of you, take it as a welcome gift.”
I take it without doing that thing that bothers him and that is questioning everything around me. In exchange I give him a tender kiss.
“Thank you” And before I forget, there is something I need to ask him “What are you doing tonight?”
He analyses my question and I know were his mind is going. No, it's not that thing that he surely is thinking about, we can leave that for later. We need to get out of our confession zone and of his demanding personality for one night. I also want him to do what I'm trying to. Live.
“I think I`ll be working or with you.”
“I`m sure it's more fun when you are with me” I wink at him and he smiles back “But I would like you to meet my friends tonight.”
“What do you have in mind? “ The enthusiasm in his question shocks me, I thought he was going to say no. He surprises me more each day and I feel like a dreamy teenager discovering new things about him each day.
“Beers and cocktails. Whatever you want, we'll have a good time.”
He thinks it over for a second. My smile must be really good because he seems to like the idea.
“Sounds good to me” and as I was expecting “I`ll accept if you let me get in your bed tonight.”
It sounds tempting. But he doesn't get my answer, in exchange, I close the car door feeling excited about tonight.
Once in my office I see the little black box on my desk and I decide to open in. I lose my breath for a second and I grab what's in the box very carefully.
A gold brooch shaped like a heart with a little band aid in the middle.
That's what I do. I repair hearts. The thought and detail makes me smile and I but in my m medical robe just below my name.
…
When I told the guys they would meet Duncan tonight, they couldn't believe it. Because, as it was expected they couldn't believe that I was finally letting things happen without worrying too much. Despite that, my reality was very different, I couldn`t stop thinking about my father at all times and I would have to talk to him soon enough, and besides that there was still the matter of the divorce as number one in my mental list of fears.
Divorce.
That is the ugliest word in the world. And I never thought it would be a part of my life.
“What do you guys want to drink? “ Moe asks, while we sit back in the usual table, in the back. But in a different club. I don't want any more surprises or troubles. This thing about starting over is turning into something special and fun.
“Let’s just order some beers for now” Dixon proposes” Soon the local band will start playing.
I see the watch and it mark nine o`clock. Duncan will be here any second and I can't wait for the guys to meet him. Agatha, Moe and Dixon haven`t stop messing around the whole way here about the future ex misses Miller.
Yes, I fucked my neighbor. A few months ago I wouldn't even be proud of saying the word “fuck” out loud.
I make sure that my phone is on just in case Duncan has trouble with the address of the place, when I feel a very sharp poke from Agatha.
“Ouch!“ I complain. And I don't get an answer from her, until I look up and I realize why she kept quiet.
Duncan.
Duncan and somebody else.
“Duncan” he takes me by the waist very sweetly and brings me close so he can kiss me. I can imagine my friend’s faces right now, but I'm nervous about the man that is accompanying him.
“This is so unpleasant” he complaints and opens his eyes really wide “We haven't even been introduced and you already putting your tongue down her throat, that`s not cool, brother.”
Brother!?
Oh, shit!
“I`m sorry” Duncan says to him “Babe, this is Dorian, my brother.”
Dorian takes my hand without me offering it.
“Hi, babe. I guess that’s not your name.”
I laugh amusingly.
“I`m Lana, it's very nice to meet you Dorian. Duncan has told me a lot about you” I introduce them to my friends “These are my friends: Agatha, Moe and Dixon. Guys, this are Duncan and his brother Dorian.”
My friends find Dorians personality amusing. Duncan on the other hand, something tells me that he is not used to going out with his brother to have a good time. In fact, I don’t think he does it on his own either.
“It was about time we got to meet you” Says Moe “We want you to know that Lana is not alone. We are a very tight group of important doctors you know, we can make your morning tea make you sick.”
I`m the only one on the table that doesn`t find Moe`s threat funny. Agatha and Dixon keep going with the joke and even Dorian and Duncan himself do.
“Make sure it is a good amount” says Dorian.
“I don't like tea” Duncan fires back “But now I will be careful with tonight’s beer.”
“For the love of God” I complaint amused “You guys suck. I better be alert also. Duncan knows I'm a good emergency doctor.”
My friends take the comment as something dirty and I curse to myself for how precise my answer was.
“Does the service include brothers in law?”
Duncan strikes him in the head and we all laugh at his joke.
“Hey!“ He touches his head “I said it so I wouldn’t have to pay. You know I'm a married man.”
Married? Wow, that is surprising.
“Fine. Let`s enjoy tonight.”
“Why didn`t you come without your wife? “ I ask him and point to my friend “Agatha can't go into the street without her husband, in fact you are going to meet him in a while.”
“It was a last minute thing, trust me I don`t go out without her either.
Duncan`s hand reaches mine. He takes it and I gives him a tender look. The guys start talking to Dorian about their jobs.
I take my chance and start my own conversation in private.
“Your brother seems really cool. I didn't know I was going to meet him so soon.”
Duncan looks at him for a second before answering.
“Like he said, it was a last minute thing. How was your day?”
“Almost the same thing as always. The brooch is beautiful, thank you.”
All of a sudden I feel nervous. I couldn`t stop thinking about him all day.
Stop thinking about this that we are living and about the other part of my life.
I`m a married woman.
That is why I was thinking about what he proposed about his brother regarding the divorce. I don't know if it`s a good idea getting him involved in this, but I have no other person to trust.
If Gabe doesn't act first, I will.
“What are you thinking about?”
Duncan catc
hes me distracted. I feel guilty for not paying attention tonight.
“Nothing. Sorry. I just remembered something.”
“Does that something have a name? “ He asks suspiciously. I don't know if this could be the start of a fight, and that is not what I want for tonight.
“Divorce.”
The pain in his eyes says it all. He doesn't have to suspect or doubt me. Of this night. The fact that he brought his brother, his family. That mean so much to me.
“I`m sorry” he whispers and gives me a tender kiss.
“This is going to be good” Moe`s voice breaks up our eye contact.
The night promises to be really fun for my friends. My mind tricks me when I think how different Duncan and Gabe are. Gabe would never be caught in a place like this, sharing beers with my friends. Just some simple doctors, that's what he call them more than once. I was that to him as well. A simple surgeon. A simple woman. Not like his political colleagues.
None of that hurts me now, because I have everything I've always wanted, even though I didn't think the road to get them would be this long. I look at the man sitting next to me and I realize that it wasn`t me moving into the building. And that I`ve never felt attracted and protected by someone. Deceit and betrayal didn't make my heart turn cold and they didn't make me stop believing that there was somebody for me out there after all. It wasn`t that I was looking for someone, Duncan just appeared without even knocking, he is not the type, he just goes in and takes what he wants, without thinking about it, just living it.
One of the many things that I hadn't realized I had stopped doing.
What I`m afraid to do is fall in love with him. But if he keeps looking at me the way he does, protecting me the way he only knows how and fucking me better than making love to me, I`m not sure I`ll be able not to.
CHAPTER
NINETEEN
The night got even better that I thought. Dorian and Duncan are the closest brothers I know. My friends had a great time, even better than I expected. And it was great not to feel guilty, even though it may sound stupid, I have to get it into my head that it wasn`t me the one that send my marriage to shit.
“Is everything ok? “ Dorian asks me and I can't help but feel nervous.
“ Yes, I`m glad to know more about Duncan than just buildings.”
Dorian smiles big. It's weird that they are not blood brothers and yet they have so much in common, like messing with each other.
“How long have you been married for? “ I don`t know what else to ask. I don't want him to know that I just want his help with my divorce. He is still a stranger to me.
“A year” he answers proudly and with love in his eyes “Destiny is spectacular, you would really like her.”
“Of course. I would love to meet her. I`m sorry I`m a little nervous.”
I smile shyly and look over to the restroom door where Duncan is.
“Don`t worry, I don`t bite like my brother surely did the first time you met” we laugh at the same time” besides, Duncan told me about you. I know that you need a lawyer.
Once he sees my reaction he continues:
“You are still married, I know. I`m not going to judge you, you are not the first woman I know that wants to move on with her life. Duncan has already talked to me about the subject. But I need to know that you are sure about what you want, we are not talking about just any man, he is Senator Miller, do you know what that means?”
I nod affirmatively.
“It won't be easy getting free from him, I know.”
Dorian grins, letting me know that Duncan is coming back towards us.
“We`ll talk about this later” he whispers “he might be a Senator, but I`m a white shark and I`ve never lost a case.”
“Again the whole white shark thing? “ Duncan says as he sits next to me “Don't let him fool you babe. This little shark of my brother is harmless.”
“You wish” he fires back.
“But it is true though, he has never lost a case.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel good? “ I ask them both and I have the attention of my friends as well.
Dorian amused with himself says out loud.
“I`m going to be the shark that takes care of Lana`s divorce.”
As if it were the best news ever, and they are. My friends applaud and cheer for it. After all it's not weird that the man I just men besides being my brother in law or whatever, is also the one that will handle my divorce. I don't know if I should jump with delight, celebrate with my friends, or worry that it's not going to be easy getting rid of Gabe.
…
As I see the light far away from my terrace, Duncan`s arm behind me is sending me signals to each and every sense and that quiets me down.
“What are you thinking about?”
Jesus, he doesn't like me thinking too much, I know.
“Nothing” I lie without looking him in the eye and I let him hold me.
“You are lying” He whispers sensually in my neck. I close my eyes and I let my head fall back. The intensity with which he spins me around and plants a kiss in my lips makes me forget to ask the question again.
I can't tell him that I`m thinking too much about us. He is not my neighbor or a stranger in a bar anymore, he has become in everything I need right now.
His touch, his desire and his warmth tell me that I`m all that he needs as well.
That's why I let him take off my clothes right there and then.
“I should punish you for wearing that dress tonight.”
“I thought you liked it” I say playfully letting him do what he is doing.
“Arms up” he orders me and I do, I raise my arms so he can take my tight black dress that I wore tonight over my head.
Once I`m in my underwear, the cold air reminds me that we are outside in the moonlight.
“Somebody could see us” I remind him.
He denies with his head.
“Nobody is going to see you, and if they do, I will kill them. We are the only ones that live in this floor. And trust me, I`ve never seen anything crazy around here.”
It is something crazy that we are doing and I like it.
So crazy that I don't mind taking my hand to his pants, unzip them and let his hard and warm manhood free.
He looks me in the eye and the sparkle in them makes me fall to my knees in front of him. If we are going to do something crazy, let's make a really good one.
The tip of his member is looking right at me and it's turning me on and enticing me to take hard in my hand and guide it to my mouth.
“Oh, baby” he grunt “that feels so good.”
I`m thinking the same thing, but I can't tell him because I don't want to stop feeling him in my mouth, in my lips and my tongue caressing his soft skin.
The hand that I feel in my hair, grabs it all together and guides me to go in and out, that is something I`m liking more and more. His command, his possession, his caress and his sensuality. My sucking is getting faster and faster and I don't care if he comes first. The sound of the wind, his grunts and the exciting sound of my saliva on him should be a sin.
But it`s not.
None of this is. And we are just two people that are enjoying the possibility of being together.
Can I fall in love with his grunts?
Can I fall in love with the tremors that I'm making him have?
Can I fall in love with his eyes?
Can I fall in love with his control?
Can I fall in love with the irrational way he sees things sometimes?
Can I fall in love with the way he makes love to me?
Can I fall in love with his mood swings and his personality?
Can I fall in love with his pleasure next to mine?
“Fuck!“ I open my eyes and I see him, his eyes stuck on mine. I have no idea how I look right now. But by the way he is lo
oking at me it looks like it's the best fucking thing he has seen in his whole life. And if there is another one, also that one.
“ I`m so close babe. Move over or it's going to be a big one.”
How big?
I don`t care, and not only the tone of his voice tells me that he is close. I can feel it with every pump. His erection is rising and Duncan lays his head to the back when I start going faster in my movement.
With each loud grunt, my throat starts to feel the warm result of him reaching his peak. As if I was tired and barely beginning, I keep on licking every drop, when I feel his hands on my shoulders and him raising me up to him. I can hear his heart beating. The way he holds me now and kisses my lips without caring that he came in my mouth.
Now his perfect hands touch my face and we are looking at each other again. He smiles pleased and I smile because of his face of satisfaction.
All of a sudden a jab in the chest erases my smile, and that feeling is accompanied by the doorbell ringing.
Duncan puts his pants up and zips them. I take my dress from the balcony and I get dresses as fast as I can, when they knock on the door again.
“Are you expecting someone? “ He asks me.
“No.”
I have no idea who could it be. Moe, Dixon and Agatha said goodbye in the club and I'm sure that because of the time and the drinks, they must be sound asleep by now.
He walks with me to the door, grabbing my hand and I`m feeling the need for him to not let go. Whoever it is, I don`t like the way I`m feeling. I don't like to get interrupted and definitely don't want to open that door.
“I`ll open it right way” I try to calm him or better said, I try to calm myself. With shaky hands I open the door and now I know I must trust my instincts.
That is a sensation that doesn't leave.
And I don't feel either hate or fear for seeing his face.
“Lana” he says and already Duncan is behind me making himself notice.
“Gabe.”
His face is different. But as all bad politicians, he know how to buy each face in order to get what he wants. This is no exception, and that face is not fooling anyone.