by Kris Buendía
“What are you…?”
“It`s your father” he interrupts me and I can't feel anything but my heart” he is in the hospital.
“What!? “ Duncan takes my hand and Gabe keeps his distance. His look is of concern and now I don't even know what to think.
“My father.”
My father needs me.
“Where is he? “ Duncan asks.
“He is in a hospital in Los Angeles” he answers with a bad manner and looks at me “They called you from the hospital where he is, but you didn't answer, that's when they called me.”
Of course. Gabe is my husband. And in every emergency record of both my father and I he is in there. I don't care about that right now, it's about my father's life.
“I have to be with him.”
I don't know if I should run, call the airport or just curse out loud for being so far from him right now.
“My jet is waiting for us” As much as I hate his money, I appreciate it for the first time.
“Waiting for us? “ Duncan imitates his question and takes my hand so as to bring me close to him. The tears start falling from my eyes and the last thing I need right now is having to choose between my father’s life and Gabe’s fucking jet.
“Lana is my wife. His father has had a heart attack, the last thing he needs is to find out that…”
“I`ll go” my voice is strong and makes him shut up.”
I don't need to listen to his shit about me having a lover or finding a replacement, as I don't need him to remind me that my father still knows nothing about our split. But, he better not think I`m an idiot, I know his game and I know Duncan.
I get close to Duncan and I hug him. I think it over and I kiss him. He doesn`t reject me and I don`t care that Gabe is looking at us, he better have a clear idea that I`m not alone.
“I hate doing this” I say it almost whispering so Gabe can`t hear” but I have to go, it's my father. Please don't make me choose. Because right now the only thing I want is to be with my father.
He understands. I know he does. Because he hugs me again and I don't need to say anything else. And I also know what he is feeling, it's not easy for him to see me go with another man in the middle of the night. He is the only man I trust.
“Call me as soon as you get there” he tells me and I nod “Doesn't matter the time, I want you to call me and by no means be alone with him.”
With a last hug I grab my purse and coat. When Gabe touches my back I step to the side.
“Don`t even think about getting ahead of the situation so you can become husband of the year Gabe” I tell him and his face is blank “Because I am capable of throwing you out of your glamorous jet and for my father to know that I'm a widow.”
I see Duncan in the corner of my eye and with his mocking smile. On the other hand, Gabe says nothing and is the first one out. I look at Duncan one last time and the answer comes to me with the last look I see in his eyes.
Could I be in love?
I already am.
CHAPTER TWENTY
The stewardess offers me something to drink for the third time and I say no politely. Everybody keeps calling me Mrs. Miller and I'm tired in correcting them to show I`m no longer a part of Gabe`s life.
“Say whatever you want, you are still a Miller, Lana.”
I look at him with disgust. I'm a bit calmer now that I've talked with the doctors in the hospital who told me that my father is stable and sleeping right now. Even though I have the desire to throw Gabe out of the Jet still.
“Say or do whatever you want, nothing is going to change. You have threaten and humiliated me. I`m not going to thank you for what you are doing, you owe it to me.”
He laughs arrogantly.
“I didn't expect you to. But if fills me with satisfaction to know that at least for a few hours you won't be with that clown.”
“Watch what you say” I suggest “that man that you call clown has treated me better that you ever did, in all the years we were together.”
He laughs again, even though I`ve got to know him better that anybody regarding his ego and his alpha male complex. He is jealous, and even though he has cheated on me with multiple women, it's not the same now that he has to see me with another man.
“I wish he remains as perfect as you think he is.”
“What do you mean by that?”
He ignores my question, the stewardess on the other hand serves him his favorite drink and I wait for him to answer me. He is delighted to see me like this. He knows a lot more than me, people like Gabe can do whatever they want in order to destroy somebody else’s life, I`ve seen it before. But I had decided not to judge him once I knew how dangerous was to mettle in his business when you are not called to.
“You are a son of a bitch” I say and now I have his attention” I will tell my father that I've left you. You need to thank me that I won't tell him what you`ve done to me all of these years.
Gabe puts his drink in the table in front of him and crosses his legs.
“You don't have the guts to do it. You`ve never had. Do I have to remind you that I can end your career and your life once they find out you helped that old man die? My advice is for you to quit looking for a lawyer as well. You may be in jail for the rest of your life. I highly doubt that your prince charming can help you this time.”
I`m not scared of his threats. Right now the only important thing is my father and his wellbeing. I don't care what my destiny is. I`ve fallen in love again and that gives me the strength to not fear any of his threats. If Gabe means what he says about ending my life, I can do the same to his, even if I die trying.
“Not even the power or money you have will be better that the freedom that jail can give me Gabe. I accept it all, my guilt in ending that man’s life. There is nothing better than being far away from you.”
He is not smiling anymore.
“Are you sure about that?”
“The one that doesn't have the nerve to do it, is you” I lean forward to whisper “What would they say about Senator Miller if they find out that his wife is a killer? A small-town girl that turned herself into a prestigious surgeon with the money she made modeling lingerie? I think that a Senators reputation is priceless. Or do you have a price?”
He throws himself at me and grabs my face firmly. He is hurting me, but I don't complaint, because there is nothing more satisfactory that having hitting a bullseye. He is the one that won`t be able to free himself from the theater that he has created around him over the years.
One of his bodyguards, and right hand man touches his shoulder. He was always a good man and it's been a while since I`ve seen him. I didn`t see him on that last day that I was in my former house and home, I would have liked to have say goodbye to him.
“Senator Miller” Gabe is still grabbing my face.
“Do not meddle in this John.”
When a tear touches his fingers, he reacts and let`s go of me. I`m not crying of pain or because I’m a weak woman before him. I`m crying because I feel like an idiot right now. I think it might have been a bad idea accepting his offer to come with him after all. But, it's too late now. A threat, and him grabbing my face won't make me be scared of him and stop me from seeing my father. Once we land all of this will be over.
“Senator Miller.”
“I`m…I`m sorry” he says before laying back again on his seat.”
I compose myself right away and roughly wipe the tears from my face. John is the one that sits in front of me and smiles with pity and some sorrow.
“Miss” he takes a brief pause” how should I call you?
Something so small makes me smile and forget the bad moment I just had with Gabe.
“I`ve always wanted you to call me by my name. Just Lana.”
“Lana” he pronounces it waiting for some approval “I like calling you Doc, would that be ok?”
&nbs
p; “Yes, whatever you want except Mrs. Somebody.”
His look tells me that he agrees with me. We are still a few hour from landing in Los Angeles and I cannot wait to see my father.
“Your father is going to be ok. You are a strong woman, and I believe that you father must be a strong man too.”
“Thank you John. “
“On the other hand, the house is not the same without you. We really miss you, in fact, we miss a lot of things. The Senator is a very busy man now.”
Busy man now?
“Too busy for a marriage, but not for his conquests or for being a Senator.”
And that is how the last hours are spent. Remembering the life I left behind and that I don't regret doing so.
…
As I promised, I get off Gabe`s private Jet and one of his cars is waiting for us with a lot of security personnel. I had forgotten about this circus, but I remember that I`m with Gabe and that everything is different now.
“I`m going to grab a taxi” I tell him the moment he wants to help me get in the car” I know I said I wouldn't thank you, but thanks, thanks for giving me a reason to move forward and reminding me why I left.
Without saying anything else I walk away. I ignore the whole security squad and Gabe doesn’t stop me. As soon as I`m on the street I take the first taxi I see parked. Once inside I`m thinking if I should call the guys and tell them I`m in Los Angeles, they are my family after all.
When the taxi drops me in the hospital I quickly dial Duncan`s number. And as I expected, he answers after the first ring.
“Did you arrive ok? “ it`s the first thing he says and I`m not surprised.
“Good morning to you too.”
“Good morning babe. Did you arrive ok?”
“Yes, I`m going into the hospital right now and…”
I stop because of what I see. Now I don't know if I should cry because of the emotion, surprise or because I`ve been up for so many hours. No matter what, I just do and there is no need to keep on talking because I have him right in front of me. He looks like he didn't sleep either, but he did have the time to take a shower because he looks spectacular dresses casually in his white polo shirt.
“Good morning babe” he is the first to walk towards me and hug me. I`ve never missed him like right now.
“Good morning. How come you are here?”
“I couldn't stand it five seconds after you closed the door last night. I was able to cash in a favor and I couldn't leave you alone, and even less so with him” he looks behind me “did you throw him from the jet? I can't see him anywhere.”
I sigh, if I told him about the trip.
“I`ve no idea, but as soon as the jet landed I didn't accept his offer of getting into the car, I had already made a mistake getting into the jet.”
I can see him imagining a lot of things. And suspecting that something happened in the flight. I`m not going to tell him that Gabe had his hands on me because he will end him before he gets back in the jet.
“Did he have the nerve to do something?”
I say no with my head. And Duncan hands me a suitcase, I doubt it`s mine.
“I took some of your things from your house, but you didn't have any suitcases. So I had to go and grab one if mine. I don't know how long you are staying for so, I brought you some clothes.”
Is that truly possible?
Who does that kind of thing?
First he surprises me coming all the way here and now he is more concerned than he should be.
“Thank you” I give him a longing kiss and take his hand “come, I want you to meet my father.”
He doubts it for a second.
“Are you sure?”
I don't need to answer, I make him walk with me towards the elevator and up to my father’s room. He doesn't let go of my hand and I don't want him to. He being here makes it more real and I realize that I was letting time go by in vain, that I didn't want to face my father and tell him the truth about why Gabe and I haven't visited him.
Now I have to face my reality and be honest with my father, if I'm honest with this man that is holding my hand and my friends, I must be with my father as well.
Once in front of the door, Duncan places a tender kiss in my forehead to remind me I`m not alone, that he is with me and that my friends are waiting back home. I`m very lucky that I`m able to be here with my father and to have all of them in my life.
“Be brave baby.”
I put my hand on the door handle and I open it. I don't hear anything more that the sound of the machine, the beating of my father`s heart is loud while he sleeps.
The first thing I touch are his feet that are under a soft sheet so as for him to get warm. Duncan enters the room and closes the door without making a lot of noise.
I let go of his hand, because mine has reached my father's hand and I look at his face. I always liked his wrinkles, the color of his eyes and his hair that, every time I see him, has less of. He was always a strong and attractive man for his age. After losing my Mother he didn't believe in second chances.
Once you`ve had love, the others only look like they are playing a game.
I never agreed with his theory, but I can't judge him for his way of thinking and for the huge love he had and has for my Mother, for him to think that way.
With her he was a happy man, and his memories maintain it like that. He never wanted to build new memories with a new person and that is ok.
When I kiss him gently in his cheek he opens his eyes.
“Lana, is that you?”
My father opens his eyes and looks at me, he smiles with some difficulty and I hold the tears back.
“I thought you were your mother.”
I can't hold it any longer and I cry in his chest. My mother is no longer with us and I wasn't there for him when he needed me. If I was taking care of him, maybe this wouldn't have happened.
“Dad…didn't we have a deal?“ I ask him “Indefinitely. That is how long you are going to live for. Please don't scare like that again.”
I hug him again and he does the same. Now more firmly.
“I`m fine, honey. There are things that happen to old people like me.”
“You are not old” I scold him” It was just a nightmare.”
“That is just what I was doing, having a bad nightmare about you and good man Gabe. I dreamt that you were no longer together and that you were a very bad woman for it. If something like that happened in reality I think I would truly die.”
“Dad” I stop him from talking any more “Stop saying things like that.”
That is when he sees Duncan behind me. For a moment I forgot that we were not alone. Now is the time to start being honest with him.
“Who is that honey?”
“Dad” I stand up and see Duncan, I also see my father and I summon the courage I need.
“He is…”
“A colleague” Duncan gets close to my father and takes his hand “Dr. Miller and I work together. I`m Duncan.”
Doctor Miller?
My father takes his hand and smiles at him.
“It is a pleasure to meet you Duncan. Call me Clive.”
I still can't believe he did that. It should bother me, disappoint me, I should tell my dad the truth and tell him that this man is no colleague of mine and no friend either. I can still taste his soft and warm skin in my mouth. But as the coward that I am, I should thank him, but instead I keep quiet. And I limit myself to falsely smile.
A nurse comes in the room along with the doctor. The nurse smiles and takes my father's arm to take his pressure.
“You must be Mr. Taylor's daughter” he offers me his hand and I shake it feeling thankful and I nod saying yes “Mr. Taynor is stable.”
I know that word. “Stable” doesn't always mean that the person is alright.
“Doctor, I'm a cardiothoracic sur
geon. I know the risks and consequences of a heart attack. My father has always been a healthy person, so, the word “stable” doesn't put me at ease.”
The doctor looks at my father, I look at my father and he looks like he is trying to hide under the sheets. Duncan gets a little closer to me and I barely feel his hand in my shoulder.
“Ok” he puts down the folder and goes on “as time goes by, the risk of damage of the heart tissue goes up. Even though Mr. Taynor was lucky that he was able to call 911 on his own, before losing consciousness. He must start taking care of himself. The results of the test show that he isn't and, this can only bring heart deficiency.”
“And what does that mean? “ My father asks.
I look at him with pain in my eyes because I never expected to tell him something like this.
“It means Dad, that the area of the heart attack can be extensive and that it can provoke more of the heart muscle tissue to die. “
There is a brief silence.
For you to listen that your father is not taking care of himself is the same as saying that YOU are not taking care of your father, in other words.
“None of this will happen if you take care as your daughter and I recommend. You are a lucky man, and the area of the heart attack was not that severe. You can see that because you are talking to us and you are not showing any sign of fatigue, I can see that you are doing quite well.”
The nurse finishes checking him up and everything seems to be alright.
“In fact, the only thing I need is my daughter, Doctor” he says with his heart in his hand “I feel a little silly for having a heart attack when it’s my daughter that heals it.”
“Maybe it is time that you heal yours” the doctor tells me “I`ll leave you alone.”
And he is right. I had not only forgotten about mine. I also had forgotten about my father`s. And something inside me tells me that I'm hurting Duncan somehow.
“Where is Gabe? “ As soon as he finishes the question my face and Duncan`s face change.
I don't have an answer for that. My father doesn't deserve to be lied to, but that idiot Gabe doesn't deserve to have my father asking about him.