Love's Wall

by Karen Deen

  “Yep! Alesha and I knew as soon as you mentioned Samuel and Sophia and about her losing her job. We were there when that old bitch sacked her, just because little Sophia was sick.” Lilly turned to face me. “We’re so sorry, hun. We chased after you when we’d finished giving her a mouthful for her disgusting behavior, but you were gone. When we tried to call you, we realized the number we had was wrong, and the personnel department wouldn’t give me the right one. We were really worried about you and wanted to make sure you were okay. Obviously, we needn’t have worried because big-brother Zach had it all under control. Isn’t that right, Zachy boy!”

  I blushed straight and could feel the heat in my cheeks. I was sure I was as red as a stop light. The girls looked at me, then each other. They had that stupid grin which for a woman, meant they knew what was going on here. How was I going to hide my feelings from them? I didn’t want Zach to know and he’d made it quite clear we were friends. Also, the kids-I had to protect them from getting hurt.

  Zach being the brother of Lilly and Alesha changed the situation considerably. I had always felt safe with Zach, but now I knew why. His sisters were beautiful and caring, and Zach seemed a lot like them. Obviously, they came from a very good family. I had never known what it was like to be part of a family, but I had always tried to make sure the twins knew how much they were loved and wanted. They may never know the love of a big family unless they married into one, but at least they would live a life feeling loved.

  My mother had tried her best to provide a stable life for me, but it was tough. I knew she loved me, but trying to provide for me took its toll on her. Losing her was really tough. We’d reached a point where we were able to spend more quality time together. With me working, I was able to help provide money, so she could slow down. It didn’t last long before she got sick and I had fallen pregnant with the twins. Life was cruel at times, but I had always gotten back up and kept going.

  I tried to contain my excitement and looked across at Zach, who looked like he was buzzing too. The options of the job and house now felt more attractive. I wanted to get moving and see what Zach was going to show me.

  “As much as I know how you girls love to stand around and gossip, we need to get moving so we’re back in time for the kids this afternoon. You can keep rambling in the car on the way out to the farm.”

  “Firstly, we don’t ramble. Secondly – us? Gossip? How dare you!” Lilly exclaimed, then whacked Zach on the shoulder. She grabbed my arm and dragged me towards the car. Zach moved to make sure he got in front of us and had the front door open for me. He waited with his hand extended to help me into my seat. This was certainly something I could get used to! The girls had obviously grown up with this, as they stood waiting for Zach, too. Funny, as they seemed like the most independent girls I had known. Zach was right when he’d described it to Sammy. It was about showing women they were loved and respected, not trying to take away their independence.

  Samuel could learn so much from Zach that I wouldn’t never be able to teach him. I decided that would be a point in his favor. It would be really good for Sammy to get close to a good male role model.

  After a trip in the car with all of us girls talking at once, Zach appeared like he was about to lose his mind. Alesha had taken a call from the office and we’d remained quiet, so she could speak uninterrupted. I took the opportunity to look out the window at the beautiful scenery we were passing. I hadn’t really noticed that we’d left the city and high-rise buildings behind as I had been so caught up in conversation. The hills were so green, you could look for miles across flat grassy paddocks that had a variety of livestock on them. Lots of the paddocks were edged with beautiful large trunked trees. Their leaves were a deep shade of green showing how healthy they were. They made it look perfect and so inviting. I pictured what Zach’s house might look like as we passed a few farm houses.

  With the girls occupied I could see Zach visibly relax and his shoulders release. As we turned off the main road, Zach leant across and pressed his hand onto mine, which was resting in my lap. He wrapped his big strong fingers around my clenched fist and stroked my palm to keep me relaxed.

  “We are nearly there. It’s just up this road. I can’t wait for you to see it. I’m nervous to see what you think and what your decision will be.” Once again, his voice wrapped me up and warmed my soul. It changed the nervous bees buzzing in my stomach to fluttering butterflies.

  He looked up and pointed out my window to the driveway. The tree-lined road was welcoming as we turned and headed onto his farm. I had never been out on a farm before and wasn’t used to wide open spaces.

  It was love at first sight! A dream, a fairy tale, maybe our new home.

  As we pulled up to the front of the house, I was lost for words. The house was something I had only ever dreamed about in stories that my mom used to read me. Fairy tales that always had a prince and a happily-ever-after. As a little girl, I loved to dream of that. As I got older, I stopped believing. Zach helped me out of the car and stared at me as I stood in wonderment at everything.

  “Oh Zach, your house is absolutely beautiful. You have done such an amazing job of restoring it. It looks brand new. I can’t believe you live here. It must feel like you can breathe again every night when you come home after leaving the city. If I had a choice, I would choose this over the city any day. Simply amazing.”

  I heard Zach mumble something, but wasn’t sure what he said. Alesha and Lilly were still in the car attending to work matters. It would give us time to explore on our own for a little bit.

  I stood there, taking it all in. The house was huge, but not overstated. It blended into the surrounding farm like it was part of the landscape. I felt like the house had been here for a very long time and had molded itself into a being a part of the environment, not just a building sitting on the ground.

  Zach led me up the welcoming front stairs, opened the door for me and stood to the side. As I passed him, he placed his hand on my lower back, guiding me. “Welcome to my home, Em. It’s a place I hope you will be comfortable and think of as your home, too”

  I gasped at his touch and the way he had said it. That low, meaningful voice. One that commanded emotion. I knew I shouldn’t read into it, but I couldn’t help it. I stopped to try and catch my breath, which seemed to have escaped me. My mind was in overdrive, overwhelmed by the whole place. The size, the beauty, but most of all, the spirit. This was more than a house. It felt like a home that had contained years of love and needed to be shared. There had been some happy times in this house, I could tell it had history.

  Zach proceeded to show me around like a proud father. We went out the back door and headed towards the caretaker’s cottage. “Now this is not as big and fancy, but it will be comfortable, clean and safe for you, Soph and Sammy. I lived in here while I fixed up the house and then moved across after it was finished. It is furnished, but I can move anything in here that you don’t want so you can move your furniture in and make it your home…….” Zach continued talking, but I had lost concentration of what he was saying. I was smitten by the little cottage. It was bigger and better than anything the kids and I had ever lived in. I pictured spending winters with the kids, sitting in front of the wood fire while I read them stories or played games. Having hot chocolates with marshmallows while the snow fell outside. This was a fairy tale that I was not sure I wanted to wake up from.

  “Emily, did you hear me? What do you think? I know it’s much smaller than the main house, but I’m sure you would get used to living here. Do you think the kids would like it? They would have free run of the farm and we could put a fence up around the house and cottage until they get older. That way you can feel comfortable to let them play outside and they won’t wander too far.” Zach placed his hands on my shoulders and turned me to look at him. He pinned me with those amazing eyes and whispered, “Please say you will take it, Emily. I really want you all here with me, where you’ll be safe. We can work out the details later
, but say you will stay.”

  My head tried to process all the pros and cons at lightning speed, when in fact I should have been taking my time to think it over thoroughly. Regardless of what my head was doing, it was too slow and too late. My heart had already spoken.

  “I would love to move into the cottage, Zach. It’s a dream home for us and I can’t believe how lucky I am you offered.” Tears filled my eyes as I looked up to the most beautiful and relieved smile. “The kids are going to go crazy over this. But please, promise me there is an actual job here. I won’t stay if I think I’m taking advantage or you or you’re feeling sorry for me at all. I don’t do pity well, but I can accept an opportunity when it is the best I’ve ever had.”

  “Thank God, Em. I thought I would need my sisters to give you the big speech about what a top rate guy I am. I’m not an axe murderer, but you worked that out all on your own.” He winked at me and started leading me back to the house. “I can promise you that there is a job and I definitely need your help. You’ve seen the size of the house now. I don’t have time to clean it, let alone keep it stocked with food and supplies. A few home cooked-meals wouldn’t go astray either. Like I said, we can sort it all out once we get you moved in.”

  He looked pleased with himself. I promised myself time to make this decision, but I’d jumped in fast, which was not like me at all.

  It felt so right and, for the first time in my life, I decided to say. Stuff you to being sensible and just go with my gut feeling.

  7

  Zach

  WE FOUND MY sisters in the kitchen making coffee as we came in through the back door. They were whispering as we entered, and then stopped mid-sentence.

  “So when are you moving in, Emily?” Alesha asked as Lilly rummaged through the cupboard for some morning tea.

  “We haven’t worked out the day yet, Lesh, don’t be pushy.” I turned my attention to Emily. “How about we start tonight, Em?” Everyone burst out laughing at once. My sisters knew me and I wasn’t joking. When I wanted to do something, there was no waiting around. I got straight to it.

  Emily stopped laughing when she realized I was actually serious. “Oh, you meant it. We can’t do that Zach, it’s not that easy. You are a busy man and I have so much to organize.”

  “Okay, I will give you two days and we start first thing Saturday morning. You’ll be in by night time and the kids will have Sunday to explore with me before we all head back to school and work on Monday.”

  “God Zach, you don’t waste time, do you. Not to mention you are pushy. I will see what I can do. It’s not like I have many belongings or a job to go to.”

  “Yes you do, with me, effective immediately,” he growled. It was almost like he was staking his claim and making sure I knew I was off the market, as far as jobs were concerned.

  “Absolutely! She starts immediately because you have no damn biscuits in this house to have with our coffee. Get your shit together, Zach.”

  Little did they know I had purposely not shopped or prepared anything, so it looked like I needed Emily to help me.

  The day rushed along after that. I drove the girls back to the office and Emily to the school in time for the kids to be picked up. I insisted on waiting for her and taking them home because I didn’t want her catching the bus and subway any more than she needed. Come Saturday, this car would be hers to drive and never again would she need to be on public transport.

  Emily had decided that she would wait to talk to the kids tonight after homework, dinner and bathing was done. She could try to have a quiet talk with them, then I wished her luck with that. She’d be telling them that not only were they coming to live with me, on a farm, with animals, but their Mom wouldn’t have to go off to a job every day. She would be at home waiting for them. Yep, that should be a quiet conversation before bed.

  The kids were so excited to see me. Sammy raced to me with his hand up for a high five, then went straight to open the door for his Mom. I couldn’t help but smile and feel proud that he had listened to everything I had said yesterday. He looked up at me, very pleased with himself, and told me I could do the door for Sophia today. I bowed to Princess Sophia, who gave me that special giggle as she climbed in. It seemed to be just for me. This little girl had me wrapped around her finger more than she knew. I would do anything for her, just like her Mom.

  I was screwed, I knew it. I kept telling myself, ‘keep your distance and remain in the friend zone,’ but I didn’t realize how hard that was going to be.

  Emily

  Listening to the kids laughing in the bath made me feel warm and fuzzy on the inside.

  The simple pleasures of a warm bath with their sibling would be a memory they’d both take through life and hopefully tell their children about. The constant water splashing, making up of games with plastic cups and the stories I could hear being told of their imaginary world under the sea. Some nights it was calm and quiet. Other nights, there was more water on the floor than in the bath. The kids didn’t get to bath often, so when they did, it was a treat.

  They got very excited!

  I decided tonight was one of those nights we could indulge in a bath. It was a night for celebrating a huge change for our little family. The kids had no idea what was ahead of us and how our life had dramatically changed for the better today.

  As much as what we were about to do scared the absolute crap out of me, part of me was also as excited as a child in a candy shop. I had never really had a home so great that I looked forward to heading there at the end of the day. The cottage, however, was going to be my own little slice of paradise. It was the perfect size for us. Nice and cute and ready for us to give it the love and life of our little family.

  “Mommy, we are getting dressed now, can you come and help please?” Sophia called out to me. It broke me out of the checklists I was going through in my mind. I was thinking of what I had to do in the next few days. There was no way I’d be ready for Zach on Saturday morning, but I had a feeling he wouldn’t care. We would be moving the same day, whether we liked it or not. Zach had made his mind up and, although I didn’t know him that well yet, I could tell he was stubborn when it was something he was passionate about.

  “Be there in a sec, Soph. I’m just wiping up the last dish from dinner.” As I headed down the hallway, I heard them talking about Zach. Of course, Sammy was the one doing all the talking, but Soph was agreeing with him. At the end of the conversation, Sammy finished it off by declaring that Zach was the coolest grown up he had ever met. I stood there and thought I actually had to agree with him.

  “Now that you are both clean and dressed, sit quietly before bed. I want to talk to you about something. It is important, but also very exciting.” I had their attention, while they looked at me wondering what I was about to say.

  “So today, Zach took me on a little drive while you were at school.”

  Straight away Sammy jumped in. “Why didn’t he take us Mommy? Where did you go?”

  I laughed. “Well I was about to tell you, Sammy, but you were too impatient to wait!” Sophia giggled at him and they both stopped and looked up at me again, waiting for me to continue.

  “Zach took me out to his farm today to look at his house.” Both of their eyes widened at the word farm. “It is a nice house and very big. He lives on a big farm with some animals.” Sammy started to open his mouth, but I told him to wait. It looked like he was going to burst. “Yes, you are going to see it soon. But the most important thing is that Zach also showed me a little cottage he has on the farm. He asked if we would like to go and live with him and Mommy would work as his housekeeper.”

  Sophia looked confused. “Mommy, what is a housekeeper?” She asked quietly.

  Sammy straight away jumped up. “Why does she get to talk when you told me to wait? That’s not fair. What sort of animals? Is there a horse, can I ride it? Does he have a dog and a cat? What are their names?” Sammy wasn’t even taking a breath. I took my hand and laid it on his shoulder, c
almly pushing him back down onto the bed next to Sophia.

  “Slow down and I will answer your questions, but just let me finish. So, Mommy really liked the little house and thought it would be a nice place for us to live. It would be a lot nicer than here and there is a big yard for you to play in. We would still drive to your school every day, but wouldn’t need to take the bus and the subway anymore. Zach is going to let us use his car. Zach will live there in his big house, but we won’t be able to annoy him all the time. He will be busy and might also have friends over to see him or stay over. We need to stay away when that happens. Now, to answer some of your questions. Sophia, a housekeeper is someone who cleans the house and does the shopping. I’ll also make meals for Zach.”

  Straight away, Sammy pipes up. “So, you are our housekeeper, Mommy?”

  I burst out laughing.

  “Yes, Sammy, I am your housekeeper. You’re extra lucky though, because I am also your mom and I, get to tickle you!” I leant over, grabbed them both and started to tickle their sides.

  “Sammy, I saw some horses and cows on the farm. I don’t know if you will be able to ride them. That is something you will have to ask Zach when you see him next. Tomorrow, while you are both at school, I will start to pack our things. Zach is going to drive them out to the farm on Saturday, so we can spend our first night in our new house.” I paused to see if they understood what this meant.

  “Are you both okay with moving to Zach’s farm to live, because if you don’t want to, I will find something else.”

  They both jumped off the bed and tackled me. “No, we want to live with Zach on the farm. It sounds fun and way better than here.” Samuel grabbed my cheeks, making me look straight at him.

  Sophia was a little quiet, then suddenly started to talk. “Does that mean there won’t be any weird men around our house anymore? I don’t like the weird men, they are scary and nasty to you.” She had obviously seen and heard more than I had ever wanted her too. This explained her shyness around others. “I like Mr Zach, he is nice to you and us. I think it will be fun to live at his farm. Do you think he would teach me to ride a horse with Sammy?”