Burden

by K. C. Wells

  If Randy was here as a cop, then why did he leave? That part didn’t make sense. But he knew one thing. He was never going to forget that look on Randy’s face. The shock….

  Jesse went through the motions, gasping when the guy on top picked up speed, grateful that they’d worked out the guy on the bottom had to keep still. Thank fuck. Guys who knew their way around a DP. Not that it mattered. Jesse was on autopilot, his mind still replaying what had happened over and over again. The more he thought about it, however, the angrier he became.

  Why was Randy here, if not as a cop?

  When the two guys fucking him finally withdrew, pulled off their condoms, and came, both with loud, messy cumshots that went everywhere, Jesse held his breath, knowing he was there to interact with anyone who wanted him. When only one guy asked, Jesse smiled and sat astride him on another couch, bouncing on his dick, moaning like it was the biggest goddamn cock he’d ever had, except he could barely feel it inside him. The guy seemed happy enough, especially when Jesse shot a load all over his chest.

  Thank God some guys were so easy to please.

  When Martin gave him the nod that he was done for the night, Jesse went into the bathroom, did a quick cleanup, got dressed, and prepared to hightail it out of there. Martin was waiting for him at the door with an envelope in his hand and a concerned expression.

  “Was everything all right? I got the impression you were upset by something.”

  Dammit. Martin was a sweet man, and he and Silas had hired Jesse once for another party. They were a hooker’s dream clients—they paid well, looked after him, and didn’t invite any crazies.

  Jesse gave him a hopefully reassuring smile. “I’m fine. Thanks again for the work. I know you didn’t have to do that.” He wasn’t about to tell him about Randy.

  Martin frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.”

  Jesse kissed his cheek. “Paying someone for what I did? There are guys I know who aren’t in my business who would line up to be on the receiving end of a night like this.” He tilted his head to one side. “You were being kind, weren’t you?”

  Martin gave him a warm smile. “Let’s just say I know what it’s like to be in your shoes. And you earned every cent tonight. There’s even a bit extra.” When Jesse opened his mouth to protest, Martin shook his head. “I don’t recall telling you double penetration would be on the cards, but you rolled with it. And you made our guests very happy.” He kissed Jesse’s cheek. “And if you ever need us, for anything, you call, okay?”

  Jesse blinked back tears. Things like this did not happen in real life. “Thank you,” he whispered. He stretched out his hand to take the envelope… and then withdrew it.

  “Jesse? Is there something wrong?”

  Jesse swallowed. “Keep it.”

  Martin frowned. “I don’t understand.”

  In Jesse’s head it made perfect sense. “I can’t take it,” he whispered. Whatever he had going with Randy, it was too good to let it get fucked-up. And if it came down to taking the money or holding on to Randy?

  No contest.

  Besides, some logical voice in his head kept telling him that if he didn’t take the cash, then it wasn’t really soliciting, and Randy couldn’t have a problem with that, right?

  Yeah. That voice was fucking delusional. And never mind Randy’s problems—Jesse had a few goddamn questions to ask him, like what he’d been doing at that party in the first place.

  Martin stilled. “Oh my God. This is about that cop, isn’t it? How did you know—?”

  Jesse stared at him. “What did he say to you?” His heart pounded.

  “He isn’t going to do anything… official about it. That’s all I know.” Martin gazed into the room where his guests chatted. “But it put the fear of God into me. That’s for sure. I won’t be doing this again.”

  What the hell? Jesse had to get out of there. He had to find Randy. “Take care,” he said quietly, before kissing Martin’s cheek once more.

  Martin grabbed his arm. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head, but I am not letting you refuse me. You worked hard for this, Jesse. And if this is something to do with that cop….”

  “It’s… complicated.” Lord, wasn’t that the truth?

  “I don’t doubt it. But I also know you’re in no position to refuse payment. Now, as for what you do with it, that’s up to you. Keep it, donate it, whatever.”

  Jesse stared at the envelope. Like it’s gonna matter to Randy whether I take the money or not. In his eyes the damage is already done. Shit. This was such a fucking mess.

  He took the envelope and stuffed it into his bag. “Thanks,” he said quietly.

  “Are you all right?” The compassion in Martin’s eyes almost undid him.

  Jesse pasted on a smile that felt as fake as Donald Trump’s tan. “I’ll be fine.” He left the apartment and made his way over to the elevator. While he waited, he got out his phone and composed a very short text to Randy.

  WTF???

  Like he’d really expected a reply.

  Chapter Fifteen

  WHEN HIS phone pinged for what had to be the tenth time, Randy ignored it. He didn’t need to see the screen to know it was another text from Jesse. He’d already ignored four or five calls, and there was no way he was going to listen to his voicemail.

  I don’t want to hear his voice right now. Randy had gotten his anger under control, but he knew it wouldn’t take much to have it resurface—along with a whole slew of other emotions that he didn’t want to acknowledge right then.

  Someone hammered on his door, and his heart lurched. Another loud rap.

  It can’t be Jesse. He can’t get in without buzzing. Randy stood rooted to the spot.

  Another dull thud against the door. “Randy?”

  Shit. Apparently he could.

  Randy walked slowly over to the door, unlocked it, and came face-to-face with Jesse, his eyes wide, face flushed. Jesse didn’t wait for him to say a word but pushed past him into the apartment. Randy closed the door and followed him into the living room.

  “How did you get in?”

  Jesse arched his eyebrows. “That’s really where you wanna start?” He dropped his bag onto the arm of the couch. “Okay, fine. I was at the main door when a guy opened it. He seemed to know me. Anyhow, he let me in, no questions asked. It was only when I was halfway up the stairs that I realized he’d been with you this evening.” He cocked his head. “Friend of yours?”

  “Neighbor.”

  Jesse nodded. “And now that we’ve got that out of the way… wanna tell me what the fuck a straight cop was doing at a gay sex party? And don’t tell me you were there undercover, because I won’t buy it.” He speared Randy with a look. “Were you there for kicks? Didn’t you get enough after all that time in the Black Lounge?”

  Randy snorted. “Don’t you dare get all indignant on me, not after tonight.”

  “Uh-uh.” Jesse’s eyes were the blue of a stormy sky. “We’ll talk about me later. Right now we’re talking about you, and that means I want to know what was going on in your head while you were undercover. Did it turn you on? Is that why you went to that party? You needed a fix?” His eyes widened. “Was that the first time, or is this something you do on a regular basis?”

  “No!” Randy shouted. When Jesse flinched, he groaned internally. “Okay, tonight was a first, all right? You don’t have to believe me, but it’s the truth. And as for the Black Lounge….” Fuck, how the hell could he explain it? Randy took a deep breath. “Yeah, I saw a lot of stuff going on, I’ll admit that, but… that was different.”

  “How? How was it different from watching me getting fucked tonight?” Jesse’s face was still flushed.

  “I was working, okay?” Randy flung back at him. “I could look at it all clinically. I just… filed it all into a box inside my head.”

  “Then what was tonight? You weren’t working, I know that much. If you had been, Martin would have his ass in jail right now.”

/>   “So I have more than one box in my brain!” Randy exclaimed.

  Jesse merely raised his eyebrows. “Oh yeah? And which box does the party fit into?”

  That was the easy part. “Curiosity,” Randy said simply. “And you’re right. I wasn’t there as a cop.”

  His reply appeared to unsettle Jesse, who blinked. “Okay. You were curious. Then why did you leave like you did?”

  “Because I got angry, all right?” What remained of Randy’s calm shattered. “At myself, for letting my neighbor persuade me to go to that damn party. At Owen, for bringing it up in the first place. At finding myself in that position. God, there were any number of things that got me mad. But most of all?” He was too far gone to keep the truth inside him a moment longer. “Because you were there.”

  “Because I was hooking?” Jesse’s face was a picture of misery.

  “Partly.” Faced with Jesse’s reaction, Randy deflated. Tell him, for God’s sake. Don’t let him suffer when you know there’s more to it than that. His heart quaked at the thought.

  “I see.” Jesse looked like he’d been slapped.

  That was more than Randy could bear. He summoned up every ounce of courage. “But mostly because up until the point where I glimpsed your face, I… wanted to be the one fucking you.”

  Jesse’s mouth fell open, and he gave Randy a dazed stare. Randy didn’t dare speak, his gaze focused on Jesse’s rigid posture.

  Finally, Jesse swallowed. “Did you know it was me? When I was…?”

  Randy shook his head. But there had been something, hadn’t there, about that blond head? Something that had stirred in his mind?

  “So….” Jesse drew in a breath. “When I was just some faceless guy, you wanted to fuck me because you were curious.” He didn’t break eye contact. “When you saw it was me… did you still want to fuck me?”

  Oh God. “When I saw your face, I was… shocked. Angry. I felt… betrayed.”

  Jesse took a step closer. “Answer the question. Did you still want to fuck me?” His voice was low, robbed of the rage that had laced it before.

  Randy gazed into those stormy blue eyes, that earnest face, and had to tell the truth. “Yes. That’s why I left. I… couldn’t. Not there. Not like that.”

  Jesse’s eyes were so fucking huge. “And what about now?” he asked softly.

  Holy fuck. He can’t mean… because that sounds like… oh fuck….

  Randy pushed aside logic and reason, grabbed Jesse’s head, and pulled him close, their mouths colliding, lips fusing in a frantic kiss with both of them groaning into it. Jesse’s arms were around his neck, locked there, while he gave as good as he got, the noises pouring from him, leaving Randy in no doubt that he wanted this as much as Randy did. Randy slid his tongue between Jesse’s lips, surprised by the fervor with which Jesse met his kiss.

  Jesse broke free long enough to gasp out one word. “Bed.”

  Randy snickered. “Uh-uh. You’re not calling the shots.” Then he grabbed Jesse’s ass and hoisted him up into his arms. “But seeing as I was already gonna take you there….”

  Jesse moaned and wrapped his legs around Randy’s waist, holding on to him as Randy moved swiftly toward the bedroom.

  Randy came to a dead stop, however, before they reached the door. “Your bag!” He went back to the couch, lowering Jesse enough that he could reach it without letting him stand.

  Jesse grinned. “You could’ve put me down, you know.”

  Randy shook his head. “Not letting go of you until I’ve got you where I want you.” He nodded toward the bag now slung over Jesse’s shoulder. “And we’re gonna need supplies, which I’m assuming you have in there.”

  Jesse stilled. “You assume correctly.”

  That was it. They both knew where this was heading, and Randy didn’t want to wait another second to get there.

  JESSE CLAIMED Randy’s mouth in a hungry kiss, not worried in the slightest that Randy was about to drop him. Randy’s arms felt so strong around him, supporting him as he carried him through the apartment into his bedroom. Jesse was dizzy with anticipation, his head still spinning from the change in direction.

  He wants me. He fucking wants me. Jesse’s whole body tingled, and his heartbeat sped up. He wanted to tear the clothes from Randy’s back, to kiss him all over that glorious body….

  No. Not this time.

  Jesse stilled in Randy’s arms, breaking the kiss, and Randy gazed at him, his brow furrowed. “Something wrong?” He lowered Jesse onto the foot of the bed.

  Jesse gave him a smile. “Far from it. You were right. You’re calling the shots.” His pulse quickened at the thought of giving up control, but he knew it was right. He had to let go. His heart pounded at the sight of Randy’s face, his eyes so dark, his lips slightly swollen already. Then he snickered. “Well, when you get around to it….”

  Randy laughed and proceeded to unbutton his shirt. “Clothes, off, now.”

  Jesse chuckled. “Now there’s the bossy cop I know and love.” Except he knew that last part was more than a line. He pulled his T-shirt up and over his head, loving how Randy’s breathing hitched when he revealed his bare torso, thankful he’d cleaned up at Martin’s place. His skin smelled of Ivory soap. Then Randy muttered under his breath when he couldn’t undo the buttons on his cuffs, and Jesse laughed at the sight of him trying to free his arms from the shirtsleeves.

  “Let me help.” Jesse tossed aside his top and knelt up on the bed to wrestle with the buttons on one wrist, while Randy tried to open the others with his teeth. Jesse laughed, pulling at Randy’s hand. “How about a little patience?” He gasped when Randy grabbed hold of his wrist and dragged his hand to Randy’s crotch.

  “Does that feel like I want to be patient?” Randy’s eyes gleamed.

  Fuck, he’s hard. Any reply Jesse could have made died in his throat as Randy unbuttoned his fly, pushed down his pants and briefs to his knees, and a thick, meaty dick sprang up. Randy put one hand to the back of Jesse’s head, pushing him down.

  Like he could keep Jesse away from that gorgeous cock. Jesse dropped onto his belly, opened wide, and took Randy deep.

  Randy shuddered, both his hands on Jesse’s head, holding him in place while he slid in and out of Jesse’s lips. Jesse relaxed his throat and went with it, his head bobbing as he let Randy fuck his mouth.

  “Oh my God, how your mouth feels on my dick,” Randy moaned. “So good.”

  Jesse poured his heart and soul into that blowjob, and was rewarded when Randy’s low cries multiplied. He hummed around the thick length, exulting at the shivers that coursed through Randy’s body, the gentle touch of Randy’s hands on Jesse’s back, stroking him, moving lower.

  Then Randy pulled free, his dick glistening. He hoisted Jesse into a kneeling position, then pushed him onto his back, Jesse landing with a bounce. Before he could utter a word, Randy went for Jesse’s jeans, unfastening them, yanking the zipper down, then tugging at them as he tried to free Jesse from them.

  “Fucking hell, why would anyone wanna wear skinny jeans?” he muttered, pulling them over Jesse’s hips.

  Jesse burst out laughing. “Because they make my legs and ass look good?”

  Randy had Jesse’s feet in the air, tugging at the offending jeans, until finally his legs were free of them, his cock slapping against his belly, hard as a rock.

  Before Jesse had time to draw breath, Randy spread him like he was a rag doll and dove between his thighs to take Jesse’s dick into his mouth. Jesse arched up off the bed at the feel of that hot mouth, but Randy pushed him back down, pinning him there while he sucked hard on the head of Jesse’s cock.

  “Fuck, you’re good at that,” Jesse gasped out. Letting Randy take control was heady and exhilarating as fuck, like doing a trapeze act without wearing a safety harness. He marveled at Randy’s self-assurance, the confidence he exuded as he pleasured Jesse, like he’d been sucking dick his whole life.

  As if he’d read Jesse’s thoughts, Randy pulle
d free and smiled at him. “Not bad for a first-timer, then? And I should be good at it, the number of times I watched guys do this. Amazing how it all gets stored away in here.” He tapped his temple.

  “Oh yeah?” Jesse grinned. “And what else did you learn?” Then he caught his breath as Randy slowly pushed his jeans all the way off, his stiff shaft curving up as he stepped out of them, finally, gloriously naked.

  “That if I want something, I should just go for it.”

  Jesse’s breath left him in a whoosh as Randy flipped him onto his stomach before covering him with his body, pinning him to the bed with his weight. Randy’s lips were on his neck, making Jesse quiver. He could feel that hot, hard dick against his lower back as Randy kissed his shoulders and down his spine. When Randy shifted, his cock sliding between Jesse’s asscheeks, Jesse shivered, surprised by his body’s reaction to being held down by Randy’s weight.

  Why does this feel… different? Because there was no denying it. When Randy grabbed his ass and spread him, a moan escaped Jesse that he couldn’t hold back. This wasn’t new. Christ, how many johns had done this? Yet here he was, trembling at Randy’s touch.

  Jesse hadn’t expected to feel this way, but fuck, he liked it.

  “Want to be inside you,” Randy whispered, rocking his dick over Jesse’s hole, sending icicles of pleasure dripping down his spine and spreading out over his skin. His lips grazed Jesse’s neck again, and Jesse shivered.

  “Not stopping you,” Jesse flung back. “My bag is on the floor. Condoms. Lube.”

  “Don’t. Move.” Then Randy’s weight was gone, and Jesse missed it instantly.

  When he heard the telltale crinkle, the snap of the lid on the lube, his heartbeat thundered in his ears and his hole tightened. As much as he ached to feel Randy’s mouth there, Jesse wasn’t about to ask him. No matter how much Randy had seen, Jesse was pretty sure that a rim job would be a step too far out of Randy’s comfort zone, considering it was his first time. Besides, he didn’t want to wait, not when he so badly needed to feel that slow press of Randy’s cock inside him.