From This Moment

by Vella, Wendy

  When she rose, Dylan turned her and she collapsed against him and sobbed. Quiet sobs that were dredged from deep inside.

  She cried as they took Joanie away, and continued as Dylan urged her from the room and they walked back to the office of Lieutenant Heath.

  “You want me to get her a coffee?”

  “Please, and add a couple of sugars,” Dylan said, lowering Piper into a chair. He dropped down before her as the lieutenant left the room.

  “Piper.” She looked up at him. The pain in her eyes ran deep. “Do you remember the last time you saw Joanie?”

  She nodded.

  “Hold on to that, baby. Remember her as that person, not the one you saw today.”

  “I-I’ll try.”

  He pulled her in for another hug and she held on to him until Lieutenant Heath arrived with her coffee.

  “You drink all this now; it’ll help steady you.”

  She nodded and took the cup Dylan handed her. He took his and sat beside her.

  Unlike Piper, Dylan was thinking straight and he knew that from this day on her life would change beyond recognition. The impact of her friend’s death would not only be about grieving, there was now a child to consider. A child she was guardian to.

  “Miss Trainer, Miss Prentice’s daughter, Grace, has arrived in the building. I understand you are her legal guardian?”

  Piper nodded, drinking more of the coffee, then placed it on the desk before her and straightened in her seat.

  “Do you have a bathroom I could use? I want to wash my face before Grace sees me. I don’t want to scare her.”

  “Of course.” He gave her directions.

  Piper left, and then it was just Dylan and the lieutenant.

  “I’m sure you’ve checked, but is she the only one left for that child?” Dylan asked.

  The man sighed, then fell back in his chair.

  “Yes, and a letter stating she was the child’s legal guardian in the event of Miss Prentice’s death was found in the bag with the child’s things. And as I said before, there is also a letter addressed to Miss Trainer.”

  Dylan got to his feet and paced around the small room. She wasn’t his concern. He’d only met Piper a few weeks ago, and yet here he was right in the middle of something that he’d normally run from. If he was honest, the door looked pretty good about now. But he wouldn’t do that... couldn’t do that to Piper. She needed his support, if only until her family could reach her.

  “The social worker will bring the child and check things over, then forms will need to be signed and they’ll have to also do a home visit to check the circumstances of Miss Trainer’s situation are agreeable.”

  “They are. Her family unit is tight, and she lives on a ranch with her mother and three cousins. The small town she lives in would embrace the child.”

  The lieutenant grunted. “Sounds good then, and just what the little girl needs.”

  “Okay, I’m ready to see her now.”

  Piper had washed her face and brushed out her hair. Her lips were painted with a fresh coat, and she looked better but a long way from the woman she usually was. His sweater hung down to midthigh, and beneath that was the long length of her jeans-clad legs

  Seeing her vulnerable was unsettling for Dylan. Piper had always appeared so strong and unbreakable before today, but now he wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be okay. Even though it wouldn’t.

  Of course, they had a connection now, a physical one, but this was more… but now wasn’t the time to analyze what that more was.

  “Before we go see the child, Miss Trainer, I need to hand you the letter we discussed earlier that was found in the child’s possessions along with the guardianship papers.”

  She walked into the room and sat next to Dylan again. He opened his hand and she placed hers instantly inside. Lieutenant Heath repeated what he’d told Dylan, and then passed Piper Joanie’s letter.

  “Is it okay if I open it now, before I see Grace?”

  “Of course.”

  Her fingers only shook a little as she slid the paper out of the envelope. Dylan watched as she read the note, her bottom lip caught between her teeth to stop from crying.

  “You’ve read it?”

  “I have, and can I say that I’m glad she had a friend like you, Miss Trainer,” the lieutenant said.

  “Here.” To his surprise she then thrust it at Dylan. He took it because he wanted to know why that woman in the morgue had chosen to end her life, if indeed that was what had happened.

  Forgive me, Piper, for what I’ve done, but you have to know you were always stronger than me. Jace and the drugs are something I’ve tried to fight, Pip, but I could never do it. When I knew he had gone, I knew it was my time also. I don’t want to live without him, or the drugs, and I know Grace is better without both of us in her life.

  Don’t think badly of me, and know that you were always the one person in my life who loved me unconditionally. Take care of my baby, dear friend, and raise her as your own. At least in this I’ve done right by her. She deserves to be a Trainer. Deserves the happiness you can give her. Tell her I love her, just as I love you, and remember what we had, Pip. Don’t mourn for the person I became. Joanie xx

  Dylan’s first thought as he folded the note and handed it back to Piper was how could anyone be that selfish? But then he’d never had an addiction or had to fight really hard to survive, so he guessed that gave him no right to judge.

  “You ready to see the child now, Miss Trainer?”

  Piper sniffed loudly, then inhaled several times, but managed to keep the tears inside.

  “Y-yes.”

  “Follow me.”

  Dylan led the way, holding Piper’s hand in his, and they went down a flight of stairs and into another corridor. The room they wanted had a glass insert in the top half of the door. Lieutenant Heath pushed it open, and Dylan nudged Piper through in front of him.

  “Be strong now, Piper.”

  She nodded, and walked inside.

  A little golden-haired girl was sitting on the floor playing with a set of blocks. She looked up as Piper entered and made a noise. Almost like a squeal, but not quite. She scrambled to her feet, and was soon walking across the room as fast as her little legs could carry her. Grace hadn’t been walking long by the way she moved, and was cute enough to make his heart hurt for what she had lost. Dylan heard Piper’s sob before she dropped to her knees and took the little girl into her arms. Little arms wrapped around her neck and there they stayed while the three adults watched.

  Dylan had learned early to shut emotion away, but right at this moment he could drop to his knees beside them and weep like a baby.

  “I know you are the child’s legal guardian, Miss Trainer, but if you could give me a few minutes please, I have questions before I can let you take her.”

  The social worker was midfifties, with short gray hair cut in an efficient bob. No child would be able to tangle their fingers in that, Dylan guessed. Dressed in a blue suit and white shirt, she looked tired, and he knew that the sights this woman saw would be enough to make anyone weary.

  “As you can see, Miss Trainer is well known to the child and she is comfortable with her, Gwen,” Lieutenant Heath said.

  “I cannot simply hand Grace over to her, Simon, even if she is the legal guardian.”

  “Yes, God forbid we did not follow process,” he muttered. “I will leave you now, Miss Trainer, Mr. Howard. Should you need anything, please call.”

  “Thank you, Lieutenant Heath.” Dylan helped Piper rise with the child still clasped in her arms.

  He shook the man’s hand and then there was just the four of them in the room.

  “Hello, Grace.” Dylan bent to look in the little girl’s brown eyes. She had a sweet round face and mop of curls, and her thumb was jammed in her mouth. One hand was in Piper’s hair, and her cheek lay on her shoulder. “My name is Dylan.”

  For all he was usually a cold bastard, Dylan was good wi
th children... well, the ones he’d come into contact with anyway. He’d also been around when Ava was a baby, so he remembered how they worked.

  “If you could come this way, Miss Trainer, I won’t keep you long.”

  “Of course.” Piper lowered Grace to the floor. “You stay here, Grace, while I talk with the lady over there.” She pointed to a table and chairs in the room. “Play with the blocks, sweetie.”

  “We got this, don’t we, Gracie.” Dylan dropped down and began playing with the blocks. Ava had been into blocks. The higher he built the tower the more she’d liked it, so she could knock them over. He remembered her laughter, the growly little chuckles she made before urging him to build it again.

  Grace sat down slowly in front of him and watched silently with big, solemn eyes. Every few seconds she looked to where Piper now sat, and then back to him. What was she thinking? Did she know her mom wasn’t coming back? How could she know that, and more importantly what the hell did they tell her when she was old enough to understand?

  “You want to put that block on the top, Grace?”

  She moved forward quietly and took the block he handed her, then placed it gently on the top.

  “Now you get to knock it down.”

  She studied him like she knew all his secrets, then reached out tentatively and pushed the blocks. They tumbled down and her lips tilted on one side. Not a laugh, but a smile. Dylan rebuilt it five times before Piper came back. By the last he’d managed to coax a rusty chuckle out of her.

  His heart nearly broke at the sound.

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  “I’m not leaving her with you, Mrs. Little. I am Grace’s guardian, and will be taking her with me when I leave Rummer.”

  “I understand that, but I would like to ask a few questions.”

  Patience, Piper realized, was vital to enable her to get through this interview and walk away with Grace in her arms. Behind her, Dylan was playing with the little girl, another surprise in a list of them that he’d shown her today. She’d have dissolved into a puddle of grief and fear if he’d not been at her side. She owed him, and no matter what happened between them from this day onward, she would always do so.

  “You can see by the way she was when I arrived that she does not fear me, Mrs. Little.”

  “Gwen,” the woman said. “And I saw it, but you have to understand that we must follow a process to ensure the best possible care is taken of Grace. Yes, you are her legal guardian, but I still want to ensure the child is safe in your care.”

  “I understand that completely, but I am the only person other than her mother that she has, which is why Joanie made me her guardian. Her father is also dead.”

  “Yes, I understand that you are all she has left, Miss Trainer. If you will just let me run through a few things, then I will come and visit you in your home environment next week.”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll just need some details from you.”

  Piper nodded and the woman opened her briefcase and started going through papers, leaving her alone with her thoughts, which went straight to what Joanie had looked like lying cold and emotionless on that gurney. She’d wanted to scream at her. Ask her what the hell she thought she was doing. Anger and grief had consumed her, and the frustration of losing her friend so young. Reading the letter Joanie left her had increased that anger.

  Joanie had written that letter knowing she was going to take her life. Knowing she was leaving her daughter alone in that apartment. It was unforgivable, even if she’d left a note for the neighbor. Piper knew she must forgive her friend, because if not it would eat away at her.

  But not today, and maybe not even next week.

  “If you will read these.”

  She did as she was asked, reading and filling in several forms while behind her Dylan entertained Grace. She heard him making funny voices, and even singing a song in a deep, flat baritone.

  “She will be happy with me,” Piper said when she was finally allowed to leave. “I have a large family and live on a ranch. It is the perfect place for Grace to grow up.” Pulling the letter out of her pocket, she handed it to the woman. “Read that. It may give you some peace of mind.”

  She did, scanning the paper, before handing it back.

  “Thank you for allowing me to read something so personal. I’ll collect the remainder of Grace’s things and have them here for you in the morning. Here’s my card if you need anything.”

  Details were shared and then they were leaving with a diaper bag with pink rabbits on it, plus a stroller, portable cot, and a car seat.

  “If you’ll just run me to a car place, Dylan, I’ll hire one and then—”

  “We’ll find a hotel and go from there. Right now I have to work out how the hell to fit this thing into here.”

  Piper held Grace, and they both watched as Dylan studied the car seat. Finally, after several muttered curses, he had it fitted.

  “Right, in you get, princess.”

  Surprised, Piper watched Grace hold out her hands to Dylan. He took her as if she was made of the finest glass, and strapped her in the seat.

  “Bicky?”

  “Pardon?” Dylan asked Grace.

  “I want Bicky?”

  He looked at Piper, who in turn opened the bag and dug around inside for a biscuit. Instead she found a ragged and worn rabbit. Holding it up, she was greeted with a squeal, so handed it over.

  “Not the chocolate variety then,” Dylan said as he closed the door, and went to the trunk. Piper watched as he attempted to stow the stroller. He couldn’t find a lever, nor were there any instructions on how to break it down.

  “I’m an intelligent man; it can’t be that hard, right?” He turned it over and looked at the underside.

  “Any idea on how to compact this thing?”

  Piper had a go, and was no wiser than him.

  “How is it possible that two intelligent people can’t get this down?” Dylan said, nudging a wheel with his toe.

  “You need some help with that?” A young man approached.

  “We do,” Piper said, standing back to give him room.

  He had it down in seconds, then put it up again and made them follow his instructions.

  “Hey thanks, man.” Dylan shook his hand.

  “No worries. I looked at ours for a good hour before I gave up and read the instructions.”

  Once the man had left, Piper headed for the passenger side of the Range Rover.

  “Dylan, I’m grateful for all this, but I know you need to get back, so just drop me at the hotel and I’ll take it from there.”

  “In you get.” He opened the door, and Piper didn’t have any choice but to climb inside.

  They were soon pulling out of the parking space and heading through town. Both were aware of the small child in the back seat talking softly to her Bicky. The loss she had suffered was so vast, Piper didn’t know how to start explaining it to her.

  “I don’t know what to say if she asks for Joanie.”

  “I guess you have to tell her that she’s gone away for now.”

  Piper nodded. “I need to call my family.”

  “We’ll get to the hotel, then you can do it when Grace is not listening.”

  They found a place, one level, and it looked clean. Piper carried Grace, who had fallen asleep, and followed him into reception.

  “I’ll need a credit card,” the person behind the counter said.

  “Get my purse out of my handbag, Dylan.”

  “I got it.”

  “I’ll settle the bill in the morning then,” she said.

  “Sure.”

  The room was simple, with a table and chairs, two rooms, bathroom, and a TV. Piper stood swaying slowly with Grace while Dylan got her cot and set it up. It took a few minutes, but luckily he found a set of instructions on the underside. Who knew this stuff was so hard?

  “I’m not an unintelligent man, but this baby stuff is hard to assemble. I have a whole new respect for
parents,” he said, coming out of the room.

  She put Grace down and covered her with a blanket, then stood looking down at her. This child was now her responsibility. The thought was terrifying. She didn’t know how to look after a child. Didn’t know if she’d had any lunch, or needed some? Didn’t know how long she should sleep for. She wasn’t equipped to be a mother.

  Backing out, she shut the door, then leaned her forehead on the cool wood.

  “I don’t know if she should be napping now. I mean, surely it’s close to her bedtime?”

  “She looked tired.”

  “I don’t know how to be her mother.”

  “You seem to be doing okay.”

  She turned to find Dylan sitting in one of the chairs. His blue eyes were on her.

  “I don’t know what she needs to eat or when she should eat it. I don’t know how long she sleeps for, or how many teeth she should have. How the hell can I raise a child when I struggle to get myself out of the house each day with my clothes on the right way?”

  The panic she’d held at bay was now clawing at her throat.

  “Take a breath, Piper.” He got to his feet. “And another, that’s it. This is a shock for you. You woke to your normal life this morning, and that’s now been turned on its head.”

  “I’m scared, Dylan.”

  “You’d be a fool not to be.” He pulled her into his chest, a place she was fast learning was pretty special. “But you have an amazing family, and from where I’m standing you’re pretty amazing yourself. I remember Ava, and how hard it was having a little sister nine years younger than me. It was crazy when she was first born. I remember saying to Dad ‘Where’s the manual?’ Even at nine, I was totally at sea how to handle her. But in time I got the hang of it, and you will too.”

  Piper listened as he spoke and felt herself calming. Thank God he’d been there when her family hadn’t. Going through this would have been hell without him. Easing out of his arms, she stood on her toes and kissed him softly.

  “Thank you for being here today. Thank you for everything.”

  “You’re welcome.” He leaned in and kissed her again.