by N. Alleman
And I can’t let her see me go down like this.
“You fucking prick,” Ryder spits out at me, pressing the barrel to my temple. He looks truly insane right now. “You killed my brother. You think you’re the king here? I rule this filthy kingdom, Jake. You and I, we’re both just animals. But I’m the fucking king of the jungle.”
Then he pulls the trigger.
35
Jake
I’m breathing.
Slowly, but I am. I’m fucking alive.
I look around me. There’s blood everywhere. Blood spilling across the floor. There’s a woman wailing. I hear Daisy’s screams over everyone.
Then I see Ryder on the floor.
The events of the past minute come flooding through my mind.
Ryder was intent on killing me, but before he could send a bullet through my head, someone tackled him to the ground.
That someone is now standing a few feet away, clutching a sobbing Rosa.
Ryder’s dead eyes stare at nothing. The hate and rage are gone now.
All that’s left is a lifeless corpse.
Lucas drops Rosa to the ground, her knees sinking in the pool of blood. He walks toward me, and I back away, toward the bars of the cage.
I’m alive. I can’t believe it.
I whip my head back, still trying to comprehend what happened.
Daisy is being dragged out by a throng of thugs, and my heart beats wildly as I watch her being taken outside.
“Jake,” Lucas’ voice interrupts my thoughts. “Jake, are you all right?”
“Yes,” I nod automatically. “What … what the fuck happened?”
“I…” Lucas reaches into his hair, mussing it up and looking worried as fuck. “Karen wanted me to follow Daisy here, make sure she was safe. I came in mere minutes after the fight and saw him point a gun at you. I did what any man would do.”
“You saved my life,” I realize.
We stare at each other. The man whose crime I’ve been paying for. The man who just saved me.
“Did you kill him?” I ask with a shaky voice.
Lucas shakes his head. “No. The gun… It went off.”
Rosa’s sobs are so loud I can’t fucking concentrate. And Daisy, Daisy’s been dragged outside. I need to sort this, I need to fucking concentrate!
Shots ring out in the air, and the crowd goes wild, screaming and running for the exit. Lucas and I turn around to see a squad of thugs breaking up the scene, their eyes on us and the blood pooling at our feet.
Everything plays out like it’s in slow motion as a guy points his gun at me and screams for me to get down.
Get down in my enemy’s blood.
And it feels like I’m still Jake Malone, the outlaw.
These men are ruthless. They usher Lucas, Rosa, and me into the makeshift office where I’ve sat so many times with Ryder. Ryder, whose blood now covers the cage floor.
I’m aching to get out of here, check up on Daisy.
Reality hasn’t fully sunk in just yet.
“Did you know him?” a thug asks me. His gun is on the desk, pointed at me. “Did you know Ryder?”
“Yes.” I nod slowly, gulping the lump in my throat. “I… Rosa and I worked for him.”
“And you?” Another guy points a gun at Lucas, and my friend flinches.
“I just stopped him from killing my friend,” he says. His hands are shaking. I’ve no idea what the fuck is happening here, why the hell we’re being questioned by these guys who look like Mafiosos. Knowing Ryder, they probably are. And they’ll probably kill the three of us for meddling in his affairs.
“Well…”
The main thug glares at us, and I expect to die any second.
“Thank you,” he finally mutters.
“What?” Rosa cries out.
“Thank you,” the guy repeats simply. “Ryder. We came here to finish him off tonight, but you did our dirty work for us.”
“But why?” I ask out loud, feeling more confused than ever. “Why would you want to kill him? Aren’t you working with him?”
“He was a rat,” the thug says, already speaking in past tense which makes me uneasy. “He used every piece of information he could get his hands on to own advantage. We have a new Don who doesn’t take this shit lightly.”
So I was right. They are mobsters.
“What did he do?” Lucas wants to know.
The other thug, the most violent-looking one, leans down and literally growls in his face, making Lucas recoil. His friend pulls him off and offers an apologetic smile. This is all so fucked up.
“Don’t ask, and you won’t be forced to tell,” he says simply and finally puts down the gun. A silence falls on the room, like we have a minute to think about what just happened.
The warehouse is empty now, and my heart is aching for Daisy. She was so close, and she might be gone again. But I won’t fucking let go or give up now.
“What now?” I ask. “What happens here? The cops are bound to show up soon.”
We all look at each other, then at Rosa, who wipes tears away from her eyes. “We need to leave,” she says softly. “We can’t be connected to this.”
“But there’s evidence,” I point out. “It’ll lead the cops back to us.”
“We’ll have to take care of that, won’t we?” the main thug asks me, giving me a wicked grin. “You guys head out. We’ll make sure there’s no trace of evidence.”
I don’t trust a pack of mobsters, but what other choice do I have?
With Ryder dead, I don’t owe anyone anything.
Slowly, I nod and get up while Rosa remains frozen in her seat. I turn toward Lucas and give him a stern look.
“Lucas, check on Daisy,” I tell him, and he nods. “Call your family. Make sure they’re okay.”
He reaches for my hand and gives me a strong, powerful handshake. I always thought Lucas was a bit of a wuss, but the fact of the matter is, today he risked his life for mine.
“Deal with her,” the mobster leader points a gun at Rosa, and their group leaves us alone in the office.
I kneel at Rosa’s feet and take her hand in mine. “Rosa,” I say gently. “He’s gone now.”
“I know.” Her face is cold, expressionless.
“Will you be okay?”
“Probably not.” She looks into my eyes. “Ryder and I … we knew each other since we were children. He was older than me, seven years.”
I wait for her to continue, patiently squeezing her hand even though I’m itching to get out of here.
“When I was six-years-old, his older brother started touching me,” she says softly, and my heart fucking breaks for her. “He was twenty. He took photos of me. He did bad things. I told Ryder. He protected me whenever he could.”
She swallows.
“But he wasn’t always there. He wasn’t there when his brother raped me for the first time, but he always felt guilty. Always tried to make my life better, even though it was fucked up as hell. Think what you want, but he cared.”
She wipes away a stray tear. My heart beats loudly in my chest.
It’s a horrible story. Poor Rosa, I never knew.
“I think he thought I was tainted,” she admits brokenly. “Not the pure, innocent flower he wanted. Not after his brother had his way with me.”
“Rosa,” I say, fighting my emotions.
“No,” she interrupts fiercely. “I don’t need your pity.”
I stay quiet and continue holding her hand.
“What now?”
She shrugs. “I have money. I can do whatever I want. Ryder kept bribing me. I could’ve never worked here. I was just obsessed with being close to him.”
I nod, wishing she’d told me sooner.
Only then I would’ve killed Ryder. I don’t think Rosa knows her abuser died at my hand, though.
“You’re safe now,” I tell her. “From both of them.”
“How do you know?” Her big brown eyes are wet and hopeful. “How do
you know Malcolm won’t come after me?”
“He’s dead,” I say simply, not going into the details. “Ryder told me his brother was killed.”
I can almost see the huge burden falling off Rosa’s shoulders. She exhales, and it feels like she’s doing it for the first time in a long, long time.
“Take care of yourself,” I say softly.
She only hesitates for a moment before raising her head and looking me in the eyes with that mischievous grin. “Yeah, you too. I’ll be fine. Thanks, Jake.”
I help her to her feet, and she envelops me in a huge hug, which makes me groan with pain.
We stare at each other for a moment, and then she salutes me. I repeat the motion, and I watch another woman walk out of my life.
I stay in the office for a few more moments, until I smell smoke.
It is then that I realize what’s happening. The mobsters are setting fire to the place to conceal what happened here tonight.
I run out of the building coughing into my shirt sleeve, smoke billowing up from behind me. Lucas is waiting for me on the stairs, looking nervous as fuck.
“Thank god,” he exclaims when I walk out. “Thought you were a goner. If I’d lost you again, Daisy would’ve murdered me.”
My smile is bitter.
Daisy. Now I get to reunite with her. The woman I waited for. The woman who traded me weeks after I left and had a child with someone else.
“Take me to her,” I demand Lucas, and he simply nods and points toward his car.
Lucas drives me to their home, telling me where I’ll find Daisy. He wishes me good luck, then goes inside.
I get out of the car, my head down. Walking in the direction I was pointed to, it doesn’t take me long to recognize Daisy’s scent in the air.
My love. My darling. My everything.
I raise my head, and there she is.
She’s standing on the corner of the street, a baby girl on her hip. She’s crying, gasping my name.
I walk over to her, anger rising in my chest.
You betrayed me.
You forgot me.
You replaced me.
Finally, after all this time, she’s standing here right in front of me.
Time to find out if there’s still a chance for us.
36
Daisy
“Jake!” I gasp. “How are you? Where have you been?”
Tears trickle down my cheek.
Tabitha feels heavy on my hip, and she’s itching to get on the ground and move around.
Despite my blatant show of emotion, Jake’s expression remains completely stoic. “I’m good. How are you? Life going well for you?”
“Um…” His sarcastic tone throws me. “Yeah … yeah, I guess so. How about you?”
“Can’t complain.” His tone is cold, his body language distant. He takes in Tabitha, and I see something incredibly sad in his eyes.
I try to reel myself in a little. I don’t want to get overly emotional in front of a man who clearly doesn’t want me.
“Is he dead?” I ask with a shaky voice. We both know who I’m talking about.
Jake gives me a long, hard look. “Yes.”
My heart stops.
“Mama?” Tabatha squeezes my cheeks.
Oh God, she’s already seen her dad before I’ve had the chance to introduce them properly. This is just too damn much.
“She looks like you,” Jake says, the pain obvious in his voice. The question is right there, hidden beneath layers of self-doubt, anger, and pain. Whose is she, Daisy?
“I…” I mumble incoherently. He stares at me with those eyes. Those eyes that were almost the end of me once before. “Jake…”
“Yeah?” he asks roughly after I pause.
“She’s yours,” I manage, my cheeks burning.
Tabitha looks up at her father, innocent eyes reflecting in his own.
He gives me a you’d-better-not-be-fucking-with-me look.
I nod, confirming the truth. I didn’t plan to tell him this way, but it is what it is.
He clutches his chest tightly, as if he doesn’t know what to think about all of this. But he looks happy too.
I let out a sigh of relief. He could have turned and fled at this revelation. After all, becoming a father is a massive responsibility.
“Mama?” Tabitha asks again, but this time, she reaches for Jake. He reaches for her, and both of our hands shake as I hand him his baby girl.
Father and daughter, in each other’s arms—it’s a sight I never thought I’d see.
My heart constricts.
“I’ll never leave you again, sweetheart…” He mumbles into her ear.
Does that mean…? No, I can’t get carried away yet again.
I’ll only end up heartbroken once more. He might mean that he wants to remain a constant figure in her life. Nothing to do with me.
Tabitha settles in his arms, leaning against his shoulder. She’s gone quiet and calm, just resting in her daddy’s arm.
“I didn’t know. I never would’ve…” Jake starts to say.
“I know.” I jump in. I don’t want him to blame himself. There’s no way that he could have known.
“I’m just… I’m so sorry, Daisy. I never wanted to leave you. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed out on.”
I nod, my lips in a thin line so I don’t sob out loud.
“I had to go, to keep you all safe.”
“I know,” I finally blurt out, relieved that this was the reason. “I think part of me always knew. I just figured that I should harden my heart by convincing myself that you’d left me. Stupid really.”
“No, I get it. Daisy, I…”
“What?” I don’t even let him finish, I’m so damn desperate. I need to know the answer to a thousand questions going through my mind right now.
Why were you so cold?
Why did you fight Ryder?
Why didn’t you come for me?
“He told me you were dating,” he gets out through gritted teeth. “Ryder. He told me you were his fucking property. And that you wanted him.”
I gasp in surprise.
That son-of-a-bitch!
“That’s what the fight was about. He offered me a chance to leave, if I beat him. He wouldn’t have gone through with it, but I needed to see you again. I should’ve known he’d try something sick.”
It takes a moment for all this information to sink in.
“I didn’t sleep with him, Jake. I kissed him, once, and I knew it would be the only time. I just wanted to keep myself and Tabitha safe. I didn’t care about Ryder in that way, ever.”
He shakes his head roughly, like he doesn’t believe me. Our daughter stirs in his arms.
I step closer and reach for him.
“Jake!” I say roughly. “I never cared for him. Never. I waited, I waited for you.”
He finally looks up at me, and it actually hurts to see the pain in his eyes.
“Do you believe me?” I ask softly. “I love you, Jake.”
And it’s like someone turned on a light within him. He holds Tabitha closer and stares at me, hard.
And then he smiles.
Softly, a barely-there grin. But it grows wider with each second.
A single tear rolls down his cheek.
We stare at each other, smiling and crying all at once, like a pair of crazy teenagers in love.
Are we still in love? Is that still a possibility?
“Do you want to come back to my place?” I finally ask, finding the street too constricting now. “We can talk there. There’s so much we need to say.”
Jake nods thoughtfully. “I do. I’m going to tell you everything, Daisy. I’m not going to hide anything from you anymore. No more secrets. I’ve had some demons in my closet, but I’m dealing with them now. I’m doing my best to become the kind of man who, one day, might be good enough for you.”
Is that what he thinks? That he isn’t good enough for me? I’m about to object, but he
steps closer, and my thoughts disappear.
He wraps me in his arms and squeezes me tight like he never wants to let me go again, with our daughter between us.
Then, I don’t know who makes the first move, but soon we’re kissing each other like it’s the first and the last time.
“What I don’t understand is why you didn’t just tell me!” I whine, louder than I intended to.
Jake has been trying to explain everything to me in a way I’ll understand, but it’s hard. He told me that he was a bad guy back at home, that he beat people up for a living, and one day he went too far because he discovered some child pornography at the home of one of his boss’ clients.
That he murdered the guy.
It was clearly extremely difficult for him to tell me that, but he knew that getting it off his chest would bring us closer together.
He’s right. I understand him more, and I get where he has been and why he turned out the way that he has.
And then I found out Ryder was connected to the whole thing.
It was about revenge, all along.
Unfortunately, that was actually the easy part of the conversation. The hard part is talking about why he left me without a word.
“It was Ryder’s rule.” Jake tugs on the ends of hair, clearly frustrated with me.
“Fuck Ryder. You could have just told me. I wouldn’t have told anyone. I would have acted like I didn’t know.”
We’re both upset and trying to work through all of our crap. In the deepest part of my mind, I always imagined if we reunited, it would be romantic and picture perfect.
But this is real life, and things don’t always go like that.
Luckily, Tabitha is napping in her bedroom, so we can have this fight in peace. I’d hate for her to see all of this, especially when she’s only just gotten her daddy back. However necessary this is, it’s impossible to explain to an infant.
“Daisy, I didn’t want to put you in danger, I also didn’t want to worry you. This wasn’t easy for me either.”
“At least I didn’t abandon you. At least you knew I loved you. At least you knew where I was!” I yell, throwing my hands in the air.