Inner Flame
Page 10
Chapter Seven
Grief had to be the worst emotion. It was causing Sera’s mind to play tricks on her, making her see and believe things that weren’t there, weren’t real. Anything to help her cope with the loss. That had to be what all of this was. Jazz couldn’t cope with losing her mother at such a young age, so the little girl pretended to see her. Sera and Jazz both needed Hank to be there, refused to think about the fact that only something horrible could have kept him from their mother’s funeral. So Jazz had named her dog Hank, and Sera was having conversations with the animal.
Which was why she found herself heading to the den at three in the morning in search of a safe that wasn’t there.
Sera pushed the door to the study open and cringed when the hinges squeaked. She slipped in and closed the door. Should she turn the lights on or leave them off? Probably better to turn them on. That way if Connor did come searching for her, he wouldn’t find her snooping around in the den with a flashlight.
Turning the light on seemed to make the room less uninviting. It was cold. Not like the cold in Jazz’s room, but more frigid, frosty. And not the kind of cold that had sent a shiver up and down her spine earlier. This was more a chilled-to-the-bone cold.
She shook the feeling off, deciding it was her imagination running hog wild with her again, and glanced around the room. At first haphazardly, looking but not really seeing or paying attention. A quick once-over, taking in the bookshelf behind the desk to her left and the couch and coffee table to her right. Coat closet in the corner. She smiled as she noticed the picture of her on the desk. Connor loved that picture of her. Everything was as it should be. No safe.
Sera ran her fingers along the wall, loving the feel of the textured wallpaper on her fingertips. How had she never notice that there were no paintings in the room? No pictures on the wall? The room looked out of place compared to the rest of the house, which was full of warmth and invitation. Connor loved light. Loved for all the windows to be open so the sunlight streamed in every morning. This room was dark with thick drapes that covered the windows. It seemed out of place, as if it didn’t belong in the rest of their home. Why had she never noticed that before?
Because you’re letting your imagination run away with you.
After a quick search of the walls, under the couch, desk, and coffee table to ensure there were no hidden doors, she let out an exasperated sigh. So her mind was playing tricks on her. Had she really expected to find anything? She walked to the closet and opened it. A file cabinet with two drawers, couple of winter jackets, rain coat, and a windbreaker hung on the bar. On the floor sat a pair of boots and an umbrella. Ordinary, typical closet.
She let out a sigh and shut the door. It wasn’t like she really expected to find a safe in the first place. Shoulders slumped, she headed for the door. Maybe a good night’s sleep would bring her to her senses.
For just a second, less than a heartbeat, she saw a flash of Connor in his sweats walking down the hall toward the den. Her mind rejected what she’d seen. With good reason. But her gut told her Connor was looking for her. She scrambled to the desk and sat down. Carefully, she slid the drawer on the left open and took out a legal pad. She grabbed a pen from the holder and scribbled Hank’s name followed by a couple of sentences saying she had bad news. She laid her head on the desk so she could see the door and closed her eyes, keeping her right eye slightly open.
She didn’t know whether to be shocked or terrified a few seconds later when the door opened and Connor walked in. His gaze landed on her then quickly shot to the closet door. So she should have taken a closer look in there.
He walked around the desk and leaned down, placing a kiss to her cheek. “Ser, wake up, sweetie.”
She yawned and made a show of pretending to stir. “What? Where am I?”
“You’re in the den. Is everything all right?” Connor slid the tablet from beneath her head and stared at it.
She rubbed her eyes. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t sleep. I thought I’d write Hank a letter and mail it to his P.O. Box, since he didn’t come to the funeral and hasn’t returned any of my phone calls. I just couldn’t find the words to say…” She let a couple of tears stream down her cheek. Not hard to do since she honestly didn’t want to face the fact that her mother was gone.
“I’m so sorry he let you down. I know you need him right now. And I know I haven’t been the most supportive, either. I was an ass earlier over the dog.” Regret showed in the lines on his face. He meant it.
Sera caressed his cheek. “Apology accepted.”
Connor scooped her up in his arms. “That hardly makes up for my actions. I’m supposed to be making your life easier right now. Not throwing a temper tantrum like a spoiled child.”
She bit her lip and draped her arms around his neck. “I guess now’s the time to tell you Jazz snuck Hank into her room.”
He faltered then glanced at her, eyebrows raised. “I should have seen that one coming.” He sighed. “I’m outvoted on this one, aren’t I?”
“I wish I could tell you different.”
He entered their room, pushing the door closed with his foot. Sera kissed his lips tenderly as he set her on the bed. He followed her down, deepening the kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, not wanting to break the contact.
“I love you, Sera.”
“I love you, too.” She gazed into his eyes. Love shined back at her. “This has been rough on you, too. I know it has. And you’ve handled it like a trooper.”
He rolled to his side and took her in his arms. “No, I haven’t. I’ve been lost as to how to help you, and I handled it badly. But that stops now. Jazz is part of our family. This is where she belongs. And I will make it my life’s mission to ensure she is happy second only to her sister.”
Warmth surrounded her heart, and she turned to face him. “Making Jazz happy is the best gift you could ever give me. I know you didn’t sign on for this—”
He put his finger to her lips. “Stop it. Whatever happens to you happens to me. I’m in this. You’d do the same for me.”
She would do the same for him. He was her life. Her soul mate.
Please let Hank be wrong about him. I can’t stand to lose Connor too.