Despite all of her protests, he made lunch. Arianna knew what that meant. He was here for her, and he wanted to lift the weight from her shoulders a little so that she could take some time to deal with the grief that had been waiting for her for so long. Her smile and murmured acknowledgement told him that she appreciated the gesture.
They ate, another long, lazy meal. As the sun climbed in the sky and the heat became oppressive, Arianna asked him how Jonas might feel about a siesta.
‘I think he could do with one.’ Jonas was looking a little heavy-eyed now, after a full morning and a good lunch. ‘I was up pretty late last night; I could too.’
She nodded, ushering him and Jonas into a spare bedroom with white walls and a matching white bedspread. It looked cool and calm, and when she opened the windows and door he could hear the relaxing roll of the waves.
Jonas was half asleep already. Ben stripped off his beach shoes and T-shirt and laid him down on the bed, sitting down in the armchair in the corner of the room and watching his son. He’d promised himself that Jonas was all he’d ever want, all he’d ever need and that he’d always be there to protect him. But the lifelong connection with Arianna was stronger than he’d thought, and he wanted to protect her too.
The long net curtains billowed lazily in the breeze, as if cool and calm was something you could see as well as feel. The house was silent, and Ben’s eyes began to droop. Maybe Arianna would be getting some much-needed sleep as well.
A sound, carrying through the silence, and his eyes flipped open. Another, which sounded like a strangled sob, and he was on his feet. Arianna’s bedroom door was open, to take advantage of the breeze, and he could see her, sitting up straight in her bed, a light cover clutched around her body.
‘Arianna...’ His voice was a hoarse whisper and she didn’t react. Maybe he should go...
And leave her to her dreams? The swirling water, closing over her head? Ben stepped into the room, sitting down on the edge of the bed.
‘Arianna.’ He spoke again, and this time he heard his own strength, seeping into his tone.
‘It’s...just a dream...’ Her breathing was ragged and her shaking hands moved to cover her face.
‘I know.’ He moved closer, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. She nestled against him, clinging to him.
‘I’m okay. I’m so tired, Ben. I’ll go back to sleep now.’
No, she wouldn’t. She’d lie here, wide-eyed, as the cool silence provided a backdrop to a terrifying world. In two hours she’d shower and emerge from her bedroom and down another cup of coffee, to banish her sleeping hours and let the day take over again. That wasn’t how she could find healing, and Arianna knew that as well as he did.
‘Lie down.’ He wrapped the bedspread around her and laid her down on the bed. Shifting across, he propped one leg up on the bed, in a sign that he wasn’t going anywhere until she was asleep again. ‘Is that okay?’
She reached for him, pulling him down next to her. Then she curled her body against his. ‘That’s better.’
He dared to put his arm around her, and she laid her head on his shoulder. Despite the fact that Jonas was asleep next door and Arianna needed his comfort, it was still electrifying. It had been so long since he’d felt passion, and it made Ben’s head swim a little.
He knew he should pull away from her, but he couldn’t help it. When he drew her close she snuggled against him. Arousal gave way to a much more potent emotion. Arianna trusted him to quiet her fears, and somewhere inside he felt the stirring of a determination not to let her down.
He lay still, helpless in the face of Arianna’s bravery and her determination to keep going, however much she was hurting inside. Unable to defend himself against the feeling that this was exactly where he should be.
‘Tell me about your dream.’
‘It doesn’t matter.’
‘Really? You’re going to go with that, are you?’
‘You’re going to fight my monsters? And throw them out of the window?’
‘If that’s what it takes.’
He felt her heave a sigh. ‘It was... Usually I dream about the ferry. About falling off and you coming to get me, and then watching you get pulled away by the tide. This time... I dreamt I was under the water and you didn’t come and get me. There was something pulling me down... Trying to drown me.’ She was nearing the part that was most disturbing to her.
‘What pulled you down?’
‘It was Xander. His face was all puffy, as if he’d been in the water for days.’ She looked up at him, her face silhouetted against the pillow. ‘Why would I dream that, Ben? Xander was my brother, and he wouldn’t do anything like that to me. He loved me...’
‘You’re the one best able to make sense of your own dreams. But maybe it’s your own memories of what happened to your brother on that day that are pulling you down.’
‘What do you mean?’
‘It’s just that...you told me that you felt guilty about your brother’s death.’ Ben ventured the thought as gently as he could.
He felt her whole body stiffen against his, a sure sign that he was getting close to an awful truth that she didn’t want to recognise. ‘Guilt wouldn’t be logical. I was only six years old.’
She felt it, though. He could hear it in her voice. ‘Kids have a habit of feeling that the world revolves around them. That they can control things that even adults can’t.’
He felt her sigh. Maybe she was in the same world that he was at the moment—two kids in the water, trying to swim to safety. Holding onto each other as tight as they could.
‘If you get the dream again, could you tell yourself what you’ve just told me? That you were six years old, and it wasn’t your fault.’
‘I don’t know. I could try...’ She snuggled against him, slipping her hand into his, and Ben held her close. That same fire, the determination to change her world, was licking around him. He hadn’t lost it for good.
‘Close your eyes. I’ll be here.’ That was all she needed to know. He couldn’t be here for ever; he had to go home in less than three weeks. Ben hoped that would be enough for both of them.
* * *
Arianna had suggested they drive down to the harbour, so that Ben and Jonas could take a look around. She knew everyone and Jonas was made a particular fuss of, being invited to taste slices of succulent fruit and small, sweet baked delicacies in the shops they visited. Ben’s presence on Kantos yesterday had already spread to Ilaria and he recognised the Greek word for doctor when Arianna introduced him to people. Clearly she wasn’t about to tell anyone that they’d met on the ferry, and that was fine by Ben. It had been their secret for so long now that it seemed only right it should remain so a little longer.
They dined at the taverna, their table moving steadily across the floor as people that Arianna knew arrived with their families and friends, and tables were pushed together. By the time the meal had been finished, two hours later, they were sitting with twenty other people, and those who could speak English were vying to translate the jokes that flew across the table for Ben.
When they left, obviously a little early by local standards as there were still children of Jonas’s age sitting at the table, Arianna worked her way around the table, saying her goodbyes. Ben was required to do the same, and Jonas followed suit as well. Then they took the coast road, driving around the island to their hotel, bright stars above their heads, the moon reflecting in the dark sea to one side.
‘Thank you. We’ve had a great day.’
Jonas had fallen asleep in the car, and Ben carried him in his arms to the entrance. The foyer was still bustling with activity and even a friendly kiss goodnight seemed too much. It might have started out as something brushed onto her cheek, but the temptation of her lips was far too great.
‘Thank you, Ben. For everything.’ Arianna deposited a kiss on the ends
of her fingers and pressed it to Jonas’s sleeping brow. It was the perfect way out of the dilemma, and accompanied by a flash of fire in her warm eyes.
‘You’ll be all right? Tonight...?’ Suddenly he couldn’t bear to leave her, alone in the darkness, prey to all the terrors that the night brought her.
‘I’ll be fine.’ Arianna said the words a little too quickly, and Ben guessed they were her stock response to any enquiry about her own well-being. ‘I sleep on my own every night.’
But tonight... Ben discarded the thought. His role in her life was already a complex mixture of checks and balances. Talking with her and sharing his own feelings, and listening to hers. Being there for her, but not getting so close that his protectiveness became challenging.
‘Would you like to go up to the Lava Lake tomorrow?’ She seemed determined to leave him on a positive note, and Ben should take a leaf from her book.
‘I don’t want to impose.’ Maybe she had things to do. People to see.
‘You’re not. I love the Lava Lake and I haven’t been up there for ages. This is a great excuse for me to go.’
It didn’t take much to convince him. ‘In that case, thank you. We’d love it.’
‘I’ll pick you up at ten? I’ll bring lunch.’
‘Ten’s great. Any time—we’ll go to the pool and if you want to sleep late...’ Ben probably shouldn’t mention that, since Arianna was clearly skating around the subject.
‘Okay. I’ll meet you there. Ten o’clock, Greek time. That’s any time before noon, English time.’
She turned and walked to her car, waving to him before she got in. As Ben watched her go, the entirely honourable impulse to save her from her nightmares vied with a slightly less honourable yearning to just hold her close while she slept. He turned away, walking into the hotel building and telling himself that both were unacceptable. He hadn’t been there for Emma, and he couldn’t promise to be there for anyone else now.
* * *
Arianna arrived at the pool at ten thirty the following morning, clearly in no rush to get started because she sat down in the chair next to Ben’s and when he offered her a drink she accepted it readily, choosing a cocktail of different fruit juices from the bar menu.
‘You’ve brought your bathing suits with you?’ she asked, almost as an afterthought, as they walked down to the dock, and Ben nodded. He’d heard that swimming at the Lava Lake was an experience not to be missed.
She had a child-sized life jacket for Jonas, and made sure that it was fitted correctly, before starting the engine of the boat and speeding towards Kantos. She made a circuit of the island, so that Jonas could see it all from the sea, and then slipped into a secluded inlet to moor the boat. Putting on a wide-brimmed sunhat with a blue ribbon that matched her dress, Arianna caught up her straw bag, looping it over her shoulder, before leading them along a gently sloping path.
‘How are you doing?’ The path had become steep and rocky, and Jonas looked as if he was getting tired. ‘You want a lift for this last bit?’
Jonas nodded, and while he was lifting the boy onto his back, Arianna picked up the bag that contained their towels and swimming trunks and they toiled their way up the hill.
‘It’s worth it when we get there.’
‘Yep.’ Jonas seemed to be getting both taller and heavier by the hour, these days. And his excited wriggling wasn’t helping much either.
‘Wait and see...’ Arianna seemed to be walking faster instead of slower now and Ben lengthened his stride to keep up with her.
‘Woah, Dad!’ They got to the brow of the hill and a picture-perfect view revealed itself. The water was the deepest blue he’d ever seen, and the large lake was surrounded by steep slopes, some of them sparkling in the sunshine from the seams of crystalline rock formed by the intense heat of a long-dormant volcano.
‘What do you think?’ Arianna was looking up at him with shining eyes.
‘Spectacular. Far better than I’d expected.’
They slithered down the steep slope to the water’s edge, Ben keeping a tight hold on Jonas’s hand and reaching for Arianna’s when it looked as if she might lose her balance. When she took it, she held on tight.
Jonas ran down to the water’s edge, picking up a shiny blue stone. ‘Look, Dad. I’m going to take it home.’
Ben shook his head. ‘No, we leave everything as we find it. The next person won’t be able to see that stone if you take it away with you. You can take some pictures, though, if you want.’
He pulled his phone out of his pocket and gave it to Jonas, who dropped the stone and started taking pictures.
‘It doesn’t matter,’ Arianna murmured, pointing to a glistening blue cliff on the other side of the lake. ‘There’s plenty left. That’s where they’ve taken little pieces of stone off for the souvenir shops. They’re only allowed to take so much, but taking a little has uncovered what’s been hidden by shale and vegetation.’
‘It’s the principle. He’s happy taking photographs.’
When Jonas had finished taking photographs of different shaped stones, he decided that he wanted a few selfies. He posed for a while, and then tired of that. Arianna took the phone from his hand, holding it out and taking a shot of the two of them, and then Ben was dragged away from the view to join them. He felt her curls brush his cheek as he leaned in close. Just like a happy family.
He shouldn’t think like that. But when he held the phone out to get a shot of the three of them, with the lake as a backdrop, he couldn’t help it. He took another shot of Arianna and Jonas, standing at the water’s edge, and then managed to capture Arianna in a perfect star jump, her dress flapping around her legs in the breeze. Ben wondered if he’d ever tire of this, but finally Arianna called a halt.
‘Shall we rest a while? Then we can go swimming.’
‘Sounds good.’ Resting generally meant food and a lazy siesta, and this time was no different. Arianna found a grassy spot, shaded by trees that grew almost horizontally out of the sides of the slope, spread out a light quilted groundsheet and proceeded to unpack plastic tubs of food from her bag. Ben took three bottles of water from his bag, and they sat down to eat. Bread to dip into the tubs of tzatziki and hummus, with salads and chicken on paper plates.
When Arianna had collected up the remains of the meal, Jonas curled up beside her, ready to take a siesta now. Ben watched as she lay down beside his son, her arm thrown protectively across Jonas’s chest.
This was his for the day, with photographs to remember it by. The pretence of a happy family, just like the one that he’d allowed to slip through his fingers. It might not be his to take, but he could allow himself to enjoy the feeling for a little while.
* * *
Ben had been watching over her as she slept. She’d seen him, through heavy-lidded eyes, as she’d dozed, and the knowledge that he was there had chased away her dreams.
He was right. This weekend had been harder than any other, but she was finally facing the feelings she’d been bottling up for years. If Ben hadn’t been here she would have retreated into her work again, and pushed them all aside, but now they were bubbling to the surface like a volcano, threatening to explode.
When Jonas began to stir against her, Ben was still leaning on his elbows, still there. Arianna climbed across the rocks, finding a place where she could change into her bathing suit, and then raced down to the water’s edge. Ben and Jonas were already there, trying to get each other as wet as possible in as short a time as possible.
The man had everything. Physique, tone, good looks. His blond hair and pale skin were almost golden in the sunshine, and the rivulets of water running down his chest... She just couldn’t look. If she looked, then she’d stare.
‘It’s very quiet here,’ Ben remarked as they both bobbed lazily in the water, while Jonas splashed around, doggy-paddling backwards and forwards, never more than
an arm’s length away from his father.
‘Yes. It’s not that easy to get to. Although soon there will be more tourists on Kantos. There’s a new hotel being built this year; they’ve already laid the foundations.’
‘Yeah? Is that good or bad?’
‘It gives me a bit of a problem. It’ll mean that I can’t cover both islands properly, so I’m going to have to take on another doctor at the health centre.’
‘It won’t be difficult to find someone, will it. Who’s going to turn down the chance to work here?’
Arianna chuckled. It was nice that he thought that this was the kind of place that anyone would want to be. ‘A lot of doctors prefer to work in the city. Getting someone to come here for six months or a year isn’t too hard, but getting someone who’ll stay can be a challenge.’
‘I’m sure you’ll get the right person. Will the hotel change things here on the island? How do local people feel about it?’
‘They’re all for it; it brings money here and provides people with jobs. It’s going to be away from the village, much like the one on Ilaria. And it’ll be low-rise and sympathetic to the local style of construction.’
‘Your father’s building it?’
‘Yes, he is.’
‘He seems to have a monopoly on hotels in this area...’ Ben broke off, shooting her a querying glance as Arianna quirked the corners of her mouth down. ‘Is that a problem?’
‘No, what my father’s doing in these islands is great; he’s developing in a way that supports local communities rather than overwhelming them...’ Arianna let out a sigh. ‘But I’ve worked pretty hard to make a place for myself here. I want people to see me for what I am, not what my father can buy.’
‘You can’t buy your way through seven years of medical training.’
Money obviously didn’t impress Ben; he had a different idea about the things that mattered. He valued the same things that she did, and it occurred to Arianna that their ambitions had been forged in the same place and at the same time, in the swirling waters around the sinking ferry.
Greek Island Fling to Forever Page 8