Reckless

by Jennifer Loren

  “So clean her off, there’s the pool,” I said, pointing. She sits at the edge and tries to slip her doll in the water but ends up falling in and struggling to stay above water. Oh that would be heartbreaking for Ava wouldn’t it? I go back to reading, putting my headphones on and sitting back in my chair with an easy sigh. I barely have a chance to get interested in an article when I feel Sean rush by me and dive into the pool. I sit up, pulling my headphones off. Sean comes out of the pool with the child who is screaming and coughing. “What happened?” I asked confused.

  Sean glares at me with an intense fire I have never seen from him. I back up into my seat. “I asked you to watch her!” He screamed.

  “I did!”

  “No, you didn’t. You ignored her and let her walk right into the pool!”

  “She said her doll was dirty, so I told her to wash her off.”

  “You told her to go to the pool?” I shrug. Sean grips the child closer to him cradling her head as if she is helpless. “She could have drowned, Rebecca.” The child’s hysterical cries surprisingly advance to another level. “It’s okay now sweetheart, Daddy’s got you,” he said, seemingly trying to set me ablaze with his stare.

  “How was I supposed to know that she would need help?” I screamed at him. “I don’t know anything about kids Sean, I’m sorry. If I had known I would have paid closer attention.”

  “Stay right there,” he ordered before walking into the house. I wait several seconds before deciding to pack up and go back to the guesthouse. I barely get settled before Sean barges in like a bull. “Rebecca?” He screamed.

  “Upstairs.” I said, eyeing him from around the corner.

  “Get your ass down here - now!”

  I walk slowly down the stairs, making sure to keep my distance from the giant ball of fire. “What is your problem? I made a mistake I’m sorry.”

  He huffs at me as he tightens his fists, “Rebecca …” he said as his body shakes with intensity.

  “I’m sorry Sean, I didn’t realize she could be in danger.”

  “Her name is Lillah! Say it! You never say her name, you never say my daughter’s name - why?”

  “Lillah - there are you happy? What does that have to do with anything? I made a mistake and now I know better.”

  “Rebecca - she is two. And besides that, I asked you to watch her, not put your headphones on and bury yourself in a magazine.”

  “I didn’t …”

  “No! I don’t want to hear it, you are, and in fact you always have been the most self-absorbed, spoiled, disgusting woman I have ever met.”

  “Excuse me?” I step forward.

  “Ava was right about you the whole time, and I defended you because I felt sorry for you.” He puts his hands on his hips, staring me down. “You really did put Lillah out with the dogs and then blamed it on Ava, didn’t you?”

  I narrow my eyes at him, “You have lost your mind, I would never do …”

  “Shut up! Don’t even try to tell me anything different. I am sick of your lies and your aggressive jealousy.”

  I look him up and down with a strong stance of my own. “I don’t know what you think is going to happen between us, but no matter what happens with Ava and I, you and I will never happen again. I can’t stand you. I feel sorry for you, but I can barely tolerate your presence. Thank God Joel felt the need to steal you from me. And thankfully my brother convinced me how much better off I was or I might have gone back to you. Hell, I thought all that time that it was my fault you cheated on me, but it didn’t have anything to do with me … you’re just a slut!”

  I smack him hard across the face, “I am not! And it is your fault. If you hadn’t of ran off, screwing who knows what, I would have never been persuaded by Joel. Hell, you were sleeping with that bitch that lived next door to us but I took care of her. I bet she never got near another man again, especially someone else’s.”

  Sean stares at me hard, shaking his head. “You know what, I don’t know what I did to get so lucky with Ava, but thank God I did.”

  “Oh Ava, your precious perfect rose, the one who lied to you, the one who is probably fucking her old mentor right now?” He glares at me as if he wants to kill me. “Oh, you know it’s true. That whore is probably screwing everyone behind your back, Sean. She’s in it for the money and nothing more.”

  “You better stop, Rebecca.”

  “Why? The truth hurt? Your perfect Ava, not so perfect?” I huff at him. “Hell, you might want to get a paternity test done on Lillah and any future offspring,” Sean leaps forward at me, wrapping his hand around my neck and cringing as he slowly releases me.

  “Rebecca!” He yells as I stand wide eyed and stiff. “I feel so sorry for you. You automatically assume that every woman is as desperate as you. No one wants you, and you are too stupid to realize you did it to yourself.” He shakes his head, stepping away from me. “I want you out of my house by the end of the week.”

  “Where am I going to go?” I snap back.

  “I don’t know and I don’t care.”

  I start hitting him. “I hate you! You’re an asshole!” He grabs my arms and holds them out from him as he stands silent. “You are going to regret doing this to me.”

  “I doubt it, but if you go near Ava or Lillah or even the boys while you are here, I will make sure that you regret it.” I look into his intense eyes and stand back from him, working up as much hurt as I can throw at him. “Do you understand me?”

  “I understand you.”

  “Good. Actually, stay away from me also. The thought of you coming near me makes me brutally ill. You know, I have a slight recollection of you coming on to me a little too strong on our movie night. I would be willing to bet that I didn’t drink too much after all, did I?” He pauses, looking me over. “You’re disgusting.” Sean said reaching for the door.

  My revengeful self quickly surfaces, “You know, I did lie to you!” I said, staring a hole through the back of his head. “And not about what you think.”He looks back over his shoulder at me. “About the baby, the one I said was yours.”

  “It wasn’t mine?”

  I shake my head.

  “You fucking bitch!” He huffed turning for the door again.

  “No, but it was a Grant baby.” I said, relaxing into my confession.

  Sean pauses before facing me harshly. “Do you expect me to believe that? Ethan can’t stand you.”

  “Only because he is so afraid that his pretty little wife will find out that he was fucking me while they were dating.” I said, watching him back off. “I changed the date of the abortion papers so that you would think it was yours, but it was after you were gone.” Sean looks me over silently and I smile wider. “While you were filming in California, you sent him for some more of your things and while he was visiting her… Well, it turned out Ethan had a slight substance abuse problem himself back then. His guilt over it is incredible. I shared whatever I had with him and he would keep coming back, even after he would drop his perfect Abbey off after their date. Your brother, Sean, was something else. Always trying to be the perfect son, the perfect brother, the perfect actor, he just couldn’t handle anyone seeing him vulnerable. Except me, that is. He would pour everything out to me, losing himself in whatever drug I gave him and fucking me in all the same places you and I did.” I said, smiling at him as his fierce eyes burn into my skin. “You two are really similar, you know that?” Standing on my toes, I stare right into his eyes. “You both fuck very much the same.”

  “You’re lying!” He hissed.

  “Really, then why did Ethan pay for the abortion and continue to send me money all these years to make sure I kept my mouth shut?” I casually find my file full of copies of checks and hand it to him. “See for yourself.”

  “No, you probably faked these just like you did with the abortion papers.”

  I laugh, “Ask him then. He’s the one that decided to stop sending me checks. He has been so nervous since I have been here. I was
sure I could get more money out of him, but apparently he is a man of principal now.”

  “I’m not listening to another word of this, and I want you out tonight.” Sean demands.

  “But I don’t …”

  “Tonight! If you are not out by the time I get home I will have the police escort you out.” Sean walks out, slamming the door behind him.

  Chapter 22

  Sean

  I was dazed the whole way back to the set, unable to put what Rebecca said out of my mind. I don’t want to believe her. The problem is, it all makes sense. Memories of Ethan not looking me in the eye every time he got back from New York, and I disregarded it, thinking he had lost his mind over Abbey. I need to talk to Ethan. By the time I finally find Ethan, I am already steaming over my memories and thoughts. I approach him stiffly, but I am thrown off when Daniel races towards me from the opposite direction.

  “Sean, can I talk to you for a second?” Daniel asked.

  “Sure, what about?”

  “Well, about the stunt scene. I wanted to make sure that you still weren’t interested in doing it yourself?”

  “Daniel I already told you no. Ava would have my head.”

  “I know, but with all the safety precautions we have added, it really wouldn’t be that dangerous.”

  Ethan suddenly steps in front of me and interjects. “Daniel no, I told you he isn’t going to do it. Now back off and from now on come to me with these things.”

  “You told him?” I asked.

  “Yes, it’s too dangerous for you.” Ethan tells me like he is my father.

  “Who says?” I snapped.

  Ethan looks at me strangely as Daniel looks on confused, “We discussed it Sean and it’s not something you should be doing.”

  “We did? I don’t remember discussing it? Not with you.”

  “Sean, you’re not doing it. Why are you acting like a spoiled child suddenly?”

  “Who are you to tell me anything?”

  “You’re not doing it and that’s final.” Ethan said.

  “Fuck you, Ethan!” I yelled at him.

  “What is your problem?”

  “You! You’re always bossing me around like I’m still a little kid.”

  “Well, maybe because you act like one.” I glare at him. “Sean you need to listen and let me do my job.”

  “Why should I listen to you?”

  “Because, baby brother, I might just know something a little more than you.”

  “You don’t know shit Ethan, and I’m sick of listening to you. I’ll do the stunt Daniel.”

  “Okay,” Daniel said awkwardly.

  I leave them both to return to my trailer.

  “Sean!” Ethan yelled. Ethan storms in soon after me. “Do you mind telling me what the hell is going on with you today?”

  “You and your lies Ethan. I thought, of all people, you would be the last one that would ever lie to me.” He looks completely lost. “Rebecca told me everything.” His expression changes instantly. “Oh, so it is true.”

  “Sean it was …”

  “What Ethan? It was what?” I yell at him as he cowers away from me. “I can’t believe you got my girlfriend pregnant.”

  “I was not exactly in the right state of mind then.”

  “No, apparently you were getting high every chance you got.”

  “I felt guilty for not helping Mom after Dad died … for not being there when he did die.”

  “You were filming, he understood.”

  “Did he?” Ethan screamed through his pained face. “I loved him so much, Sean. He gave me everything and I couldn’t even catch a flight out to be with him? I couldn’t turn down that one possible Oscar winning role to help him for once?”

  “You were perfect in his eyes Ethan, it didn’t matter what you did.”

  He laughs at me, rubbing his hands over his head. “You’re making a mistake Sean.”

  “It’s not a big deal Ethan, they are going to go over everything with me. They have already been training me to drive. I know I can do it, and honestly, I want to do it.”

  “Do you? Because if you can’t and something happens to you… well, you’re leaving behind an awful lot.”

  “Nothing is going to happen, worry about your own family.”

  “I would never hurt Abbey or my kids.”

  “No, you just cheated on her.”

  “I… Damn it Sean, it wasn’t like that!”

  “Then tell me Ethan. What was it like?”I yelled as Ethan stands silent. “You know what, I have heard enough.” I walk out, leaving him standing alone and silent. My brother, my so-called idol, is nothing but a fraud.

  Chapter 23

  Ava

  The day is going fairly smooth, and the thoughts of Sean finishing his movie soon are making my mood even lighter. That is, until Ethan calls, wanting to come over and talk to me. Sean’s anger with him is too intense for me to feel comfortable about talking to him behind his back, but I am not about to let this quarrel between them continue much longer. I put Lillah down for her nap and Ethan shows up soon after. His solemn face tells the story, even if I didn’t know anything. I hug him, knowing how it is when Sean is angry with you. “Are you okay?” I asked him.

  “I guess Sean told you,” Ethan smirked.

  “Some, he’s not real good about sharing things he’s not ready to talk about.”

  “That sounds like him.”

  “I have tried to talk to him but …” Ethan shakes his head stopping me.

  “I know, but that’s not why I’m here. I’m here because I assume Sean hasn’t told you that he’s doing the jump tomorrow?” Ethan said, awaiting my expected response.

  My mouth drops, “He said he wasn’t going to do it.”

  “Initially, but he decided to get back at me by agreeing to do it.”

  “No, he promised.” I snap.

  “He is going to be even angrier at me for telling you, but at this point I don’t see how it can be much worse.”

  “But Ethan, he’s going to get hurt.”

  “He doesn’t seem to think so. That’s what he’s doing today, he is learning how to make the jump work. Learning how to control the car and …” Ethan shakes his head, walking away from me. “He has convinced himself that they have taken every safety precaution into consideration and that he can do the jump with no problem. He’s invincible, you know?”

  “He’s crazy,” I huff.

  “That’s what I told him, but he won’t listen to me. If anything, I only fuel the fire.”

  “So you want me to talk to him?” He nods. “I don’t know that he will listen to me either.”

  “Well, you have more power over him than anybody else, that’s why he hasn’t told you about it.”

  “I will talk to him but he’s going to know you told me.”

  “Like I said, what difference does it make now?”

  ~

  There is no way I am going to get much work done now. I curse the fool for ruining my good mood. All throughout the day, the images of the stunt appear in my head. Only this time, Sean is getting into the car, driving up the ramp on the back of that semi and jumping clear from one end to the other, all the while trying to outpace the semi to safety.

  That’s the biggest obstacle. The semi does not have enough time to stop and keep from crushing the car, or my husband, if anything goes wrong. Much like it happened the first time the stunt was done. I am not even sure if he can get hurt in the practices they are having today. I have not heard from him all day, and the more I think about it the tenser and angrier I get. By the time Sean arrives home I have managed to work myself into a complete wreck. As soon as he walks through the door I grab the nearest thing to me and throw it at him!

  He barely ducks quickly enough for it to miss his head.“What the fuck Ava?”He screamed at me.

  I run up to him, jerking at his shirt furiously, “What the hell is wrong with you Sean?”

  “I don’t know what you’re talki
ng about.” He holds out his arms innocently.

  “You know damn well what you are planning to do tomorrow, and you said you wouldn’t do it. You promised, Sean!”

  He rolls his eyes, “Who told you?”

  “It doesn’t matter, just tell me you’re not going to do it.”

  “Ethan. It was Ethan, wasn’t it?”

  I look into his eyes, crossing my arms and standing tall. “I knew it, fucker can’t keep his mouth shut.”

  “Sean!”

  “What Ava?” He grips my arms moving me out of his path.

  “Don’t you do it.”

  “It’s too late Ava, I have already committed to it. It’s tomorrow, and there is no time to change my mind now.”

  I fist his shirt, jerking it wildly. “You promised me!”

  Sean grabs me, throwing me over his shoulder and carrying me to our room. He puts me down on the bed, crawling on top of me to hold me down. “Stop it, Ava.”

  “Let go of me,” I yell, trying to release my arms from his hands.

  “Not until you calm down.”

  “I’ll calm down when you tell me you’re not going to do that jump tomorrow.”

  “Well, that’s not going to happen.” He said while I squirm, trying to free myself. Sean looks me in the eyes calmly, “Stop.” I break down crying when he finally lets go of me and takes me into his arms. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you and I know I promised you, but this is something I have to do.”

  “No you don’t,” I whimpered.

  “I do. I know you don’t understand, hell I’m not sure I even understand, but I want to do this. I want to succeed at it where he couldn’t. I feel like, if I can do it, then maybe I can somehow feel good about this whole damn movie again.”

  “You don’t need to risk your life, Sean.”

  “I’m not risking my life, baby. They have every precautionary measure taken care of. Besides, he was drunk when he did the stunt. He lost control of the car, or at least that’s how it seemed. I think he purposely let that semi smash into him. On the set it’s not even going to get that far, we are filming me making the jump only. We already filmed the semi crushing the car.” His eyes plead with me. “I know I can do it Ava.”