Then suddenly I kick him off and I get up with a shot of the kidneys finding myself sitting on the mattress, with a violent heart beating, shortness of breath and him in front of me.
Just the guy who came on me yesterday morning and dropped me on the stairs.
That great rude, to be more precise.
I'm stunned and he stands in front of me, his hands tucked into the pockets of the wide, drooping jeans he wears and a smirking smile on his barely faint beard, which he fixes with pain.
Good heavens, how did I end up here?
I look around at me and the asshole is right: this is not my room for sure and Wiley is not here to save me.
Like a horse jumping off the bed ignoring the head that turns, the stomach that with that movement turns upside down and the pain in the coccyx that makes itself feel again, so in a rickety leap I finish it in front of potion - more or less- erect and I'm standing.
"Hey, hey, little girl, be quiet or you'll be throwing up everywhere and then I'll spend the next few weeks washing the carpet in the room until it's bright again" with a grin of disgust painted on his face, and I do not know if to make him horrify either me or the idea of my vomit instead of the carpet.
If i think about this i'll vomit for real.
I put both of my hands on the stomac and i realize that i have cold and sweaty palms. I don't think it's because i'm sick and i'm gnawing at my stomac, yet, except for the slight disruption nausea, i'm also hungry; rather i suppose that the situation is sweating me cold.
"You are the asshole that beatened me down last day."
"Ehi, ehi, Koala, slow down. To tell you the truth yesterday you flew at me and then you fell too. You have done everything by yourself in practice."
I look at him shocked. Koala?
I give him the fool name of the history.
My face is tending and most likely the expression changed from frightened veers towards the raging.
I see it as to the asshole lights up their eyes: it is clear that I get angry at the enjoyment, which he enjoyes, but still I continue to wonder what he does here and I tremble at the idea of the only possibility that comes to mind.
Instinctively, moved by that, I lowered my gaze to my body to check to be really dressed - or I could die of shame, here and now - and avert my nefarious thoughts but they are and he laughs. Again.
What the fuck is going to have so much fun in this life of desolation?
"You are dressed, Koala, do not worry, I would never have touched you with a finger" here, this is what he says with disgust.
Fantastic!
"Stop to call me Koala, this isn't my name. And tell me what the hell i'm doing here!" now my voice is little louder, like irritaded little girl, with the voice that isn't really a desperate scream but more or less capricious, but i don't fell like this now, i'm only scared and very very angry.
Who is this here?
What does he want from me?
I do not have time to ask him that he raises a finger, pierces me with his gaze insense and accuser and then, pinning me as if I were guilty - and I alone know how serious he is - he meets me stopping a few inches from me , which in the meantime have receded to touch the wall with the shoulders, to prevent the very proximity that I find myself poisoning on him. And in my mind.
I hate who it gets too close, as much as i hate who want near me but there isn't.
If Isaac was here he would tell me what to do in a similar situation.
"First of all, insted of attach me, you need to thanks me. In the last party at Roger's house you got drunk, eh? You don't remember anything.."
Afraid i shake my head in denial.
"What's up?" now, seeing the strange smile that suddenly spills over his face, I begin to fear that I have done something that I could regret.
But me? Really me? And then..dressed, even if i was drunk?
If so, maybe it would be good and i would thank him.
Maybe i liked it.
"Don't do such a scary face" he continues. "We haven't sex, if it's this that scary you, i tell you. You was collapsed on the sofa at Roger's house, the party was over and they wanted to put you on the sand with a towel and leaved you there sleeped, because no one looked for you or leaved you away from there.."
"What?" I interrupt him shoked. "What an asshole!" i say, and this is for everyone, also Wiley.
"I don't know who Wil is and what kind of relationship you have, but he leaved you there. So, a little because I felt guilty by recognizing you, a bit because I'm a good Samaritan, I brought you up to here. Only I did't know where your room was , so I set you up in the mine. My friend is out to fuck."
"It's strange that you are not there" i don't know why i say this thing, as if i'm assuming he's a donjon, even if i'm like he is unknown to me.
I look at his vest that discovers his large shoulder and his muscles of arms, and then his face, just squared nd with a pointy chain.
And he is beautiful, unfortunately, since i would not like to give him that merit.
"Yes, in fact, it's strange. But i wanted to sleep a while since recently it rarely happens to me. I wanted to relax but you was here. Oh and.. Koala because when i picked you up to bring you away, since you didn't stand up and didn't wake up, you clung to the neck just like that funny little animal, strange really? And to say that when you have your eyes open insted of thinking me or squeezing me, you only insult me" he laughs, i know that he is joking on me and this is not funny.
"Well, thank you, but you didn't have to do it. It was better if you leved me on the and, when i was wake up i would have felt better."
"Or you would have woken up tied and gagged to a chair without any organs and close to death" he say while i'm looking around to find my handbag, it was little but i had it shoulder and there was all my life inside. It must be here.
"Exaggerated..i had a handbag, did you see it?" i want to run away from here because done is what i do better and the idea, except to find my bag, is to run away from this proximity not request.
I hate who is too near me, above all if i don't know him, i've never been too physilcal, ever before that night.
He watches me release and winks at the door but is actually pointing to the como next to that.
"It's over there, I have not touched anything," he says with a voice almost bored. I'm a dude must be bipolar.
"Well, okay, well, thank you, I would go now... and you can see around, I think " I get confused with the words, but once the handbag is overwhelmed and I find myself dressed and arranged - I do not dare to think about how they are tanned my hair-, I can also run out of here and run away, deceiving the embarrassment that gives me his new smile.
I have to make him the idiot I feel I am.
Red in face, scared and confused.
"Well, so, goodbye Koala" he tells to me and only when with a leap from a cangaroo more than from a koala I get out of there, I take a long sigh and realize that I don't even know his name, even though I think that calling him Asshole is perfect.
Not that it should call ever again, it means.
Coming out of the door I don't immediately understand exactly what floor of the campus dormitory i find , but I try to fix the hair and the crumpled shirt from sleep and then with nonchalance and plastic walk I go elsewhere, after the umpteenth absurd evening of my life.
I can't really do it better and be normal, I should start to get a reason for it, even if I know. I have very little right now.
One thing, however, is certain: I can be anything but a koala because for sure, even in the worst of my drunken sleeps, I would never embrace someone like him, who is the apotheosis of all that a me should keep away.
Just never.
.6.
Talia
"Do you want to dress up pretty today?" Wiley asks me looking for in her wardarobe.
"Maybe, but nothing that it isn't too sexy or short or low-cut dresses" i reply to her thinking about the disgust of that boy three days ago.
When i woke up i felt like a freak and even for a second he gave me the opportunity to think that he was able to take advantage of me while I was unconscious and drunk, even though I did not know him and despite my proverbial distrust of mankind, since nobody would touch a person and be dressed like I was me.
Nice disgusting!
But Wiley is my firefly, she is like a little lighthouse that guide me in the dark night as she can, in fact after a careful exam of her dress she turns in font of me with a hanger in her hand, so enthusiast as only she knows how to be in life and, without knowing a lot of me, she shows me just the kind of clothing that suits me: something that covers me but at the same time enhances me.
"Look, light silk shirt, so nothing too flashy or succint, but elegant and with a deep neckline that shows off your beautiful breasts. Because you hide it but it is here. Do you want to to catch up someone? Well, you need to wear this with a miniskirt. Can you do it with miniskirt?"
What i like about Wil is that she never asked me too much, like is in secret she understood all the answers i'd like to give her but i can't. Not for now almost. Only Isaac know. And my parents of course.
Oh, and the weird people that are in my house, but that now i no longer consider home, but it's where i grew up for eighteen years of my life, here, near Melbourne.
At this point i want to kiss her on lips but i only nod at her.
Who said you must be an indecent person just beacuse you have secrets to hide?
Wiley shows me how to be sexy but covered, also because i haven't any problem to show my leg.
So at the end i took her dress, something that i would never have done with other girls or in different circumstance, and now here i am, at the entry of the biggest shopping center with a black strech miniskirt, ankle boots and the most cover and nice shirt that i have never worn.
While Wiley was putting on make-up she suggested me that i need to do shopping, and even if now i'm feeling like a fool i can't blame her.
Isaac will get mad to see me now and i'm sure that he would open his notebook and write something flattering, something like: she faces and wins almost some of her demons, maybe those who belongs to social.
In fact, just after the night of the party, i realized that i no longer know how to do it, while at one time i was able to be a leader.
Before that damned night, before the escape and disaster, i did my best to be at the center of attention, to fell alive.
"Today we are going to make your guardarobe" Wiley says laughing and taking me by arm while we enter in the big and super moder commercial center, marching along the corridor that leads us to the large main gallery, where i notice that she starts to look around with aspettative and then she stops, near the fountain that rises there in the middle, the one that stands beneath the glass ceiling from which i see the clouds.
The commercial center has four floors and the gallery all face towards that huge space.
I look up and i feel very little.
"Do we go up?" i ask to Wiley with a huge enthusiasm.
"Just a moment.." she speaks loughing and looks at the clock while she is doing this. I look at her interdicted.
"Are you waiting for someone else?"
"No. Come on. We'll wait just for some minutes." In saying it she graps me by the silk and gently pulls me to the edge of the pitch.
I start to look at the window in front of which we stop, but I do not realize that she is looking for something elsewhere.
I arched an eyebrow and became curious.
"Wil, are you okay? What's up?"
She is funny while checking the small square and the clock with obstinacy.
Her head goes up and down from that to the other, like she is also compulsive. I knew a lot of compulsive in the hospital. Someone were schizophrenic, other catatonic, still other did not speak. I felt the more normal inside there, but perhaps, to be honest, i wasn't at all.
Well, my friend here is not better than me in this moment.
"Ah!"
Suddenly Wiley makes a scream. "Here we are! And now..look!" she whispers slowly in my ear like, even if her esaltation, she was disclosing some state secret.
She winks at the square and i look in the center, i carefully observe i don't know what because there is nothing there, but i'm careful yet.
"Wil, i don't know, i .." i can't finish saying this that the gallery's speakers turn on, whistle annoyingly for a second and then start to resonate with a music that i know well.
It's Wild wild west, of Will Smith. And the person stop, start to sway with heads and look around.
I don't understand, my friend smile and everyone look in a single direction a moment later. Something I may not yet see.
But it does not take me too long to understand and notice that someone, among the crowd that has suddenly been created in the middle of the square, is moving to the rhythm of music. And if at first they are slow and unconvinced movements, in a short time they become a dance.
A sort of group hip-hop dance.
The bodies are many and move in unison, all at a perfect rhythm, synchronized, creating a wave of dance and different colors that however bind to perfection between them.
I smile and point the dancers to my friend with a finger, even shouting a little to speak because of the high music that already drags me.
"And that?"
"And that's Matt, do you see it? The guy I had on the night of the party, here he is!" Wiley tells me someone who sees only her among the dancing crowd that waves, makes strides sought and studied in perfect sync with all the others and in the meantime advances towards us from the bottom of the gallery.
The effect is beautiful and absurd together, like a wave of the ocean, yet these guys dance to life.
"Oh... so this is an appointment?"
Fuck, is she already so busy with the guy from last night? And she dragged me here too, when she has to meet with a boy?
She laughs. "Maybe. But this is a big event. This is the Street dance, a sort of flash mob but with professionist that dance in the street, involving unaware passers-by. Very exciting, eh?" she screams directly in my aerdrum.
"And you know that they are here today, of course..."
"Shhh, look!" she says to me when i don't listen her because music, this hip-dop stile that i really love, gots up and now the daning group stands right in front of my nose.
A few moments later i begin to wave with my head.
Isaac always told me that music has a undisputed healing power but i never believed this. I avoid to listen it, almost in the radio. But this, i admitt, it's dragging me despite i'm not being able to move and dance.
I look more like a broom swaying, but i'm kidnapped.
I shake my hand in time with the crowd and i laught shaking with the music.
I even have to get rid of, moving my long white legs in rhythm because they have never been so much discoveries, not even to all the stupid university parties that Wiley has decided to take me since, two months ago, I arrived here.
And I'm really carefree while I'm doing it, while Wil is careful and curious while pointing to his Matt, a one-night companion, at the second unusual appointment during which once again she will dump me for him.
In short, despite this I'm fine and I enjoy the undisputed show, at least until I see him.
He comes towards us, towards the public as true, but it's like deceptively he puts his glance on me while he is dancing.
Popped from the center of the dance group, he comes in front of my nose and he places himself at the command of that, beginning to change steps while the music turns to another melody.
Now starts The Time of The Black Eyed Peas and the dance, becoming more sensual, forces everyone to change movements but not before a short break of choreography, during which the boy in the room, the one whose name i still grant, takes advantage to point my friend with a good look.
And, God, if it burns.
It is like a liquid fire that scans the skin perfections th
at I have left uncovered, as if he had just discovered what he had only imagined and somehow liked it, but perhaps it is only my illusion.
I paralyze, I become rigid swallowing, now I do not laugh anymore.
The slight shade of music sees us staring at each other, but then his gaze slides over my whole figure and returns to my face just when the music stops.
Two female hands sprout from behind that guy's shoulders and then a beautiful girl takes her place next to him after handling and palpating his muscles, making them more visible to us that we observe.
In fact, the boy's shirt moves, moves, tends, before he puts her side by side.
And it's a beautiful sight.
Now the dance is sensual and they rub, he bends back and passes a hand from the throat up into the breasts and then to the belly in front of our eyes and while the audience is shouting or applauding, the dancers start to form a different choreography behind them, instead they start to dance a two literally breathtaking step.
And how they dance!
I think I even have my mouth wide open, a little because, wow, that's the guy from whom I spent the night, a little because those sensual movements are somehow... warming me up.
"It's good, is not it?" Wiley asks me referring to his last conquest, and I nod but I really do not see that Matt almost anymore.
I am hypnotized.
The boy of the room raises his partner, skinny, sensual and blonde to be disgusting and if he puts her on his shoulders before spinning her over and then let her slip on.
God, how it must be to slip on the sweaty skin, under that shirt from which sprout arms carved as if in him there was very little human and looked more like a sculpted adonis. Or to a mythological being.
He has long gray trousers in his overalls and the shape of his buttocks, while pirouette, is clearly visible, and I should stop looking at him like that and he should stop looking at me, even if it is certainly only my madness that is me imagining, when in truth he certainly will be attentive only on his partner touching and groping while dancing, now to the rhythm of the whole group.
I'm without words... they are very good.
I want everything of you Page 4