I want everything of you

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I want everything of you Page 5

by Deborah Fasola


  So the guy who saved me from the night on the sand is..a dancer?

  Matt, Wiley's new friend, my fake saviour and who knows what of our other friends, do this thing all around the city?

  "What's the name of the first dancer?" i ask to Wiley while i'm shaking my hand with the same rhythm of the crowd, allintend on enjoiying the show, someone with us and other on the gallery of the superior floor.

  "Who, the boy that eats you with eyes while he is dancing?"

  Oh. My. God.

  "I don't know, but i suppose that now we know this" Wiley says while the music end, the group stops in finale position, they take the applause and then quickly breaks the ranks, just as they had formed a little while ago to begin the dance.

  I know that this is a feature of this flash mob to end everything in nothing and that after the show everyone returns to be ordinary people in a second, so as not to be noticed too much; yet at some point I am immersed in the crowd and in the chaos generated and I have the throat that scrapes, from how much i'm disconnected and without saliva .

  I look around and I do not even see Wiley because the present, running close to go away like a river that flees elsewhere, we have separated and the crowd is intense at the moment but my unconscious should not understand it immediately because in fact I panic.

  I turn around and around, making small circles on myself, looking agitated at what I can not find, until someone's closeness paralyzes me.

  Cupped behind my shoulders and breasts an intense heat radiating from that to the low back.

  "If you turn around yourself another time, little Koala, you will do a hole by way of auger and you will arrive at the center of the earth" the chuckle that follows those words has a capacity that few have in my life: that calming, because it makes me so much of the nervous that I kick away the rest and give way to my andia to vent in anger and fade.

  In fact, I turn to him, since I already know who I will be in front of, who, in the crowd that is melting, I have a step away from my body and behind my shoulders.

  When, however, I find eyes in my eyes with him, I lose my words

  Fuck.

  And sweaty, red on the face, he has wet lips folded in an arrogant smile and stares at me, digs me into the soul as if I wanted to steal all the secrets.

  "I see you've erased the message from the hand," he says, winking down, but I do not really understand what he's telling me, I'm confused "And I also see that you're very different today" bites his lower lip and I would avoid giving him so much importance and go away, look for my friend, but I can not.

  Wiley has dumped me and, for a series of absurd coincidences, I have to deal with it alone.

  Isaac would be proud of me, since I'm not running away anyway.

  Isaac... I miss him, and yet in the look of this absurd type I feel vibrant, like when you're on a wire several meters in height and that moves threatening to make you fall.

  If I fell now, would he affirm me? I would? But who is he?

  Oh God.

  I try to catch my breath but he removes it again, speaking to me again while everything around us is returning to normal.

  "So, you do not say a word, it's rather strange for someone like you who is constantly chatting, as I've seen, since she opened her eyes in the morning, and that even with the accusations she goes down heavy!" he laughs, he runs a hand on his hair, sure, wet with sweat, for the effort of the dance.

  For a while i give ten years of my life to run an hand, and this thing is absurd!

  In response, wanting to resize above all my mind, my enemy number one, I take a step backwards.

  He watches the gesture and seems almost pleased by how he manages to make me step near him.

  Isaac would tell me that no one should do it to me, ever, but I am now intimidated by this sweaty and beautiful boy to die for.

  I am from the way he is looking at me, from the challenges, from how he was moving with his dance partner.

  And I have to say something now or it will take me stupid.

  Talk, Tally, damned!

  I try to swallow but my mouth is completely dry and i'm scary that i will strangle with this movement.

  "Hi, asshole. You don't mind if i call you that, right?" oh my god, i say something very stupid. When i lose my mind i always talk nonsense and he makes the expression darkens.

  The calm is at the moment the only thing that I have to recover, after all this guy is nobody for me: I do not know his name, for sure he is an asshole for real and what is certain, is that I will not have anything to do with it do. Never.

  "So besides studying do you do this?" I relax only in appearance and as I speak trying to recover, I raise an arm indicating who knows what beyond his shoulders.

  He smiles, looks away for a moment, opens his mouth and smacks his tongue inside.

  I've just relaxed, but it makes me feel like an idiot.

  "I do not study, in truth, you found me around the university because every now and then Matt makes me stay there for not knowing who knows where" has a deep and melodious voice and the smell that he carries with him and that I perceive is a mixture of fatigue and aftershave.

  I could go crazy or fall to the ground at the moment, but then I remember that I can certainly not lose myself to deisire another person above all my doctor- and i should not even want him, actually-, but above all else that i could never have.

  And this incredible guy twisted and mysterious that is in front of me give me the impression to be an impossible guy.

  Unreachable.

  For a girl like me, at the moment, i ask myself what the hell i'm thinking about.

  I wake up from the torpor of my mind that as always turns too far and angry expression in the face.

  "Wil's Matt?"

  "Matt is gay?" now he has a angry expression on his face and i laught.

  He watches me do it, concentrates on my mouth and the same smile lights up his. Can he copy me, maybe? What does he want from me?

  "Wiley is my roommate" then he really laughts. "It's strange how we know the name of our frinds but not us, nice" I retort, thinking it is absurd that Wil is right with his friend Matt, or so it seems.

  "Well, we're already calling Asshole and Koala, I'm not that bad, is not it?" he makes me smile, he leans his hand towards me and demands mine. "I'm Jax."

  I look at that under my nose and then I look around for a second, before grabbing it. And when I do it and dudta but an electric discharge without equal.

  "Well, Jax. I'm Talia. So you never call me Koala" i'm joking on him because he doesn't talk, but he keeps my hand and looks in my eyes in a strange way. He digs me, now.

  "Your girlfriend is looking for you maybe" i suddenly say and then i strongly bite my tongue for what i said.

  Damned, why i say such a fool thing? But above all, why i'm interested in what i'm saying to him? It should be of little importance to me. It should not care, in fact, he should count zero.

  He laught. "Also your friend" and not denies what i said. Fortunately, therefore, I do not have to fear his dangerous look as a killer of hearts, since he is busy with the blonde with whom he dances perfectly.

  "So, soon, Jax, and anyway you're very good" I'm going back and slamming against someone behind me.

  The heels are uncomfortable, the skirt is uncomfortable and I do not know why, since it certainly is not so, but I feel all eyes on him. Maybe because this is not really me.

  I am the one who hides behind disused clothes, behind the nothingness with which I dress.

  "Hello, Talia" he makes me wink with his head before turning around and go away.

  So, nonchalantly, why does it matter to me at the end? I only wonder why he approached me.

  I watched him confuse himself with the crowd of patrons and the shopping mall loomed him a moment later in his black hole.

  It takes me a few moments to reawaken me, but then I start Wiley; however, I'm a little confused.

  Maybe I need to talk to Isaac.

&n
bsp; New knowledge is always a bit destabilizing, but that cheeky boy is something more.

  It shakes me and I should not give it all this weight.

  While I finally find Wil, who stops at the mall's kiosk along the corridor next to the gallery with that Matt, I take the cell phone out of my bag and send only one rapidol that is able to calm my heart beats.

  I need to see you.

  He replies almost immediately, after two weeks of disillusionment and a missed meeting with Johnson who, when he knows it, will be a problem (for me).

  Come to me tonight. At the black room.

  And then everything goes well.

  .7.

  Jaxon

  This little impudent in front of me, with a stiff and pedantic attitude, sends me out of my mind.

  And since I took her into a room with me and I stretched out on the bed that I can not not think about what is under those clothes abandoned like a campaign puppy, and today appears in front of me with two meters of clear exposed skin, two shoes with the heels that the slender legs of her are able to do already by themselves and an incredible sensual blouse, which this time opens up before her to the valley dug between her breasts, sending me directly to the asylum.

  While I dance, then.

  I identified her right away because she was in front of the group, all the time of the flash mob, I could not take my eyes off her.

  That little Koala was different today.

  And although i prefer her natural smooth face, those very large and clear eyes standing out against the diaphanous porcelain skin, and especially when she is dressed in black and combed properly, leaves me breathless.

  "Are you connected, baby?" Caroline's voice brings me back to reality.

  I hate nickname's.

  I look at her, she kisses my lips and give me a sweet cream pastry, because this is our ritual after dancing to bring back our energy.

  Me and Caroline are not engaged, but doing fixed couple in Street dance sometimes it happens to fall on us as if we were really a couple.

  In a few word: we have sex.

  Even very often, as true, despite i don't make something serious; it's not to me, since i save myself only if i fly away.

  Inside bed this little girl is a wild person like outside bed, while she is dancing, and like an ex capo cheerleader of her high school, she kept all her movement skills and acrobatics and put them at my service.

  Such a useful thing, for what we are preparing: an important competition that it will be held in less than two months and i have always been waiting for it.

  My pass for the liberty.

  Matt comes back to us with a smile on his face and as soon as he reaches us and we say hello, high me five and he sits at the bank of the bar near me in the commercial center.

  "So she is Wiley, the girl of last night?" i ask him while i'm drinking coffee and while i'm not lost Caroline that shows her new bag at her friends near us.

  That bag is not belonged with her drees code of street, but i know how she is when she is a woman at hundred per cent, and at the mere tought i feel the groin area pull.

  "Yes, do you know her?" he ask me how pompous he was even tonight.

  Since i do not introduce myself with him on campus every night, with a room all for himself he has a lot of sex, of course.

  More than me, and this thing gets me mad.

  "I know her friend" he shake his head.

  "I do not know who she is."

  "She is not one that remains etched" i say. And i lie because her unused clothing, the way she just sees me try to escape, the fact that when I talk she backstages and gets embarrassed, I do it literally and without shame come hard.

  Which is absurd because those like her- certainly a complex daughter of dad, just like the people I hate- I do not even see them. And certainly they do not make me stand up. Usually, at least.

  At most I look at the sexy with skilled hands and certainly no longer virgins, with the expert mouth and malice enough, just like my Caroline.

  I do not have to care about that Koala, nothing must even vaguely make me horny.

  I grew up on the street and those like her are not allowed in the lives of those like me.

  Those like her that would like the serious thing to introduce myself to their daddy and for nothing in the world I would never get involved in similar things by anyone.

  Even because i'm not that kind of boys who make parent happy: i'm astreet dancer, rude and wild, that live sleeping and washing in every place, that hasn't a job and doesn't study anymore. Who hasn't a real family behind his shoulder. Who hasn't hope.

  "So, do you choose Caroline?" my friend asks to me bringing me back to the reality made by coffee and cream.

  I'm hot and i feel like a fool because of the thoughts that still govern me ad would rape my head.

  Fuck all.

  "She is my partner in Flash. And she is the only that can. Demi is with Sax, Poppy and Mary will leave at the end of this month, Meze, Grace and Alexia are busy with courses and Billie has been trapped in her house because her dad. There is only Caroline, and this is not bad, she is always my first choice."

  "You can loudly tell made, for a tit in my mouth I would sell my soul to the devil." Matt gives me a new five and then together we laugh.

  I shake my head amused, because the tit of Caroline in the mouth is a beautiful excitement of skiing, but nothing so extreme as to get to sell the soul.

  Sure, she is sexy, beautiful, incredibly easy and shrewd, and in bed she is a real bomb, but she also has something to stop you from really getting lost, to you, which is also why I like it and I insist in her direction, I see that I do not want ties.

  Zero ties, zero mess because, as my father said, being a zero is much better.

  And yet, I do not know how, but at the moment I can not take from my head that frightened look, which is stubborn to keep away but would like to watch.

  I saw her while i'm dancing, and i saw how she looked at me with her light eyes all over my body.

  I have her in my mind.

  And this is damned wrong, so i know that i will keep her away from me, something very simple for me. Because she doesn't belong to my world.

  So far, so much to be sure that i can't see her anymore.

  .8.

  Talia

  Today I am particularly excited and quiet after last night's evening in the black room.

  I thought I lost my charm on Isaac because when he is too much with his wife then he lets himself be taken by guilt, but this time it was not so.

  After having sex, last night, I allowed him to look at me. I had to change because I did not want to go back to the dormitory dressed as Wiley had tanned me in the afternoon, not even knowing why I needed it then, and I took off my shirt and put the light sweatshirt in front of his eyes.

  The same ones that on my breasts became two suckers, while he told me that it was nice to see how much it is to touch.

  I was fine and I can say I still have he in my hand. I do not pretend to do he mine forever but I need him, and I can not really change that.

  Besides... I was naked. For a second, it's true, but I almost made it and he was the first to reveal that he was really proud of me.

  It is like i had just done a step towards, when for some time I stood still, with my feet planted on the ground as if they were made of cement.

  I do not know how this improvement is due, but I'm happy.

  "Hey, sorry, could you move away? I need the book that you have in front of you." the voice behind my shoulder complains and being in the library i wake up and sketch to the side.

  "I'm sorry, i was absentmindedly" While i turn off and i took her in front of me, i recognize her.

  It seen that they are persecuting me.

  I look at her for a long time, maybe also with my mouth open, beautiful like the sun, she stretches, takes a book and then smile, like she wants to thanks me but in a peevish way and maybe with a little annoyed expression that immediately annoy
s me too.

  In particular because i know who she is.

  "You are the dancer who danced yesterday in the Flash mob at the commercial center, really?" i don't know why i'm trying to have a conversation with her, because i don't want to know someone like her, but at my words, placing the book on her chest where she holds it, she suddenly looks at me and her eyes shine.

  "I'm happy that you recognized me" she quietly says with a tone of voice now more quiet and less annoyed, so i smile at her.

  "Well, you were very good. And you and your boyfriend have an incredible understanding" i'm usually one of a few compliments but I think back to Isaac's words from yesterday, when pretending to psychoanalyze he asked me if I'm finally making friends at the faculty. As if I needed to be a friend rather than a new brain.

  "He is fantastic, yes. But he lives of street, bread and dance. It's more difficult for me with courses, study and university, you know..."

  "Yes, i know what you mean."

  "Do you dance?"

  I laught. "Oh, no, no. Absolutely not. I'm a broomstick" but what i'm doing, conversation with the type of girl that i would never want like friend?

  Look at her as she gives herself air and how she constantly moves her light and long hair like mine, but certainly more silky and cared for, posing as a star in front of my words, certainly obvious and due for a like her.

  The trouble is that talking to her, then, in addition to being beautiful, to move from god and to be with a guy asshole but also from high, she does not seem even then so bad.

  But then she laughs at my last joke, nodding as if to confirm that I look like a broomstick and it just annoys me.

  Well, i'm doing new friend, Isaac, can you see it?

  Even if it's not that I'm having a lot of fun to flatter-meaningless than having enjoyed the spectacle of yesterday, then- without being almost considered as a person but only as a mere dispenser of compliments.

  So now it's enough.

  "Well, then I salute you, have a good day" I try to cut short but she stops me sucking air and breath and pretending to want to ask me something.

  God, she does not want to make friends with someone like me!

 

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