by Emma Easter
But his mind refused to let her go. Still, he had to. Even if he changed his mind now and decided he wanted a relationship, he’d messed everything up. He had told her the truth. He had told her he was only looking for someone to sleep with. He knew she was religious. There was no way she would give him a chance after that.
But you do want a chance, don’t you?
He didn’t know the answer to that question anymore. He’d thought he didn’t want that kind of chance until he met Lauren. Now he just wasn’t sure. A girl like Lauren didn’t come along every day. But there was no point trying to pursue a relationship with her or get her to forgive him and take him back. He was leaving Rosefield in a week and he would never see her again.
It’s all for the best anyway, he told himself. Relationships complicated things. They muddled a man’s life.
His mind went to Frank and then to Trisha. If there was any relationship that made him question his decision to say stay single, it was theirs. They were so in love. And not only did they love each other very much, they liked each other. They had a great relationship. They seemed slightly co-dependent, but maybe that was part of their charm. And they could never keep their hands off each other no matter who was there. That was the kind of relationship he wanted if he ever had one someday. But that day was definitely not today.
He sighed loudly. You have to forget about her.
He stood up to go to bed and her face appeared once more in his mind. He groaned. Forgetting about her would probably be one of the most difficult things he’d ever done.
Chapter Fifteen
Audrey woke up feeling both excited and scared. Today, Ken was coming to the orphanage with her and Sienna. Hopefully, she would get him to see that Esther was a lovely girl and agree to adopt her.
She turned briefly to look at Ken. The bedroom was still dark and she couldn’t see his face. Slipping out of bed, she went into the bathroom and showered. She came out and then switched the lights on. Ken opened his eyes and she smiled at him. “It’s time to get up,” she said cheerfully.
He groaned and covered his face with his pillow.
She laughed and came to remove the pillow from his face. He groaned again and she said, “We are supposed to go to the orphanage early this morning, Ken. Remember?”
Ken opened an eye and looked at her. “We are supposed to be on vacation, Audrey. Remember?”
She chuckled and then went into the closet to change into a knee-length yellow dress. She smiled to herself. The dress matched the color of the children’s hostel. She zipped up the dress and then turned to look at Ken, who was still lying in bed. She said, “Wake up, sleepyhead.”
Ken moaned and then climbed out of bed.
She went out of the room after she had brushed her hair and found Sienna in the living room with a cup of coffee in her hand. She smiled at Sienna, who was already dressed in a pair of jeans and a white blouse.
“Mary will be leaving tomorrow,” Sienna said. “Are you ready to run the orphanage?”
Audrey shook her head and then came to sit down beside Sienna. “About that. You never mentioned anything about me running the orphanage until I came here.”
Sienna laughed and said, “You should see the look on your face. You’re only going to be running the orphanage for about a month, Audrey. It’s not like it’s a permanent thing. Besides, going there every day will give you the chance to see Esther regularly.”
Audrey stared at her and said, “I don’t have to run the orphanage to see Esther regularly.”
Sienna shrugged. “Well, that’s what you’re going to do now.”
“But I don’t know anything about running an orphanage.”
Sienna chuckled. “You’ll be running it with me, silly. Don’t worry about it. Everything will be fine.”
Audrey looked at her for long moment and then said, “Okay. I love the kids anyway, and as long as you’re with me, I guess I can do it.”
Sienna said, “I won’t be at the orphanage every day. That’s the point of having you help me out, Audrey.”
“What? How am I supposed to manage if you’re not there with me?”
Sienna’s brows lifted. “Remember, I’m a new mom. That’s why I need your help. Don’t worry, Audrey. You’ll be fine. It’s not rocket science anyway.” She took a sip of her coffee and said, “So, Ken is still not open to the idea of adopting Esther?”
“Not that I know of,” Audrey said. “Anyway, he’ll see Esther today and hopefully change his mind.”
“Well, I hope so. But Ken can be stubborn sometimes.”
“You’re telling me! I am married to the guy. I know.”
“He is just as stubborn as you are,” Sienna smiled.
“I’m not stubborn!”
“Yes, you are.”
Bryan came into the living room and smiled at Audrey. She smiled back at him and he kissed the top of Sienna’s head. “You girls are already ready?”
“Yes,” Sienna and Audrey chorused.
Sienna looked at Audrey and asked, “Aren’t you going to have breakfast?”
“No. I’m too nervous to eat now. I will have something to eat when we get back.”
Bryan went in again and Audrey chatted with Sienna about the baby, about Trisha’s pregnancy, about the orphanage. Twenty minutes later, Ken strode into the living room in jeans and a plaid shirt. His sleeves were rolled up, and he looked very handsome. Audrey smiled at him in appreciation. She stood, walked up to him, and kissed him on the lips.
He smiled at her. “What’s that for?”
“For being the most handsome husband in the world.”
He chuckled and then kissed her cheek. He said, “Where is Bryan? I am ready to go.”
Veronica, the nanny, came out carrying Ethan.
Audrey smiled at the baby. He was still asleep and looked so cute. She went up to the nanny and lightly kissed Ethan on his fat cheeks. When Bryan came out to the living room, Sienna quickly gave instructions to Veronica about Ethan and told her they would be back in a few hours.
They all left the house ten minutes later. All the way to the orphanage, Audrey kept praying that Ken would at least consider the adoption once he saw and spoke to Esther. She still wanted a baby, but right now the adoption took precedence. Because they had less than a month in Peru, she had to get Ken to agree to it so they could start the process as soon as possible. If he did not agree and they left Peru, it would probably be the end of her desire and plans to adopt Esther. She could not let that happen.
They got to the orphanage and Audrey got out of the car with Sienna. It was a Saturday and Sienna had told her the kids slept in on Saturdays.
Sienna said, “Since they wake up on weekdays at about six o’clock because of school, they usually wake up around ten o’clock on Saturdays.”
“That’s good,” Audrey said.
They all went to the administrative building and into the office where Audrey had met Mary yesterday.
Mary was at her desk and she looked up when they walked in. She got up and hugged each of them and greeted them warmly.
The men soon excused themselves and went out of the office, talking. Sienna and Audrey sat facing Mary.
“So, you leave tomorrow,” Sienna smiled at Mary.
“Yes, I do,” Mary said. “I’m really excited about starting a new life with my husband soon, but I will miss this place.”
“We are going to miss you,” Sienna said. “We need to briefly show my sister what exactly it takes to run this orphanage. At least let her know that it’s not as difficult as she thinks.”
Audrey smiled and said, “I’m sure it’s more difficult than I think.”
For almost an hour, they talked about the orphanage. After Mary finished explaining what she did daily at the orphanage, Audrey said, “Well, I guess I could manage, at least until a new person is found. I hope someone will be found very soon.”
Sienna said, “I hope so, too.”
Audrey looked out as a bell began
to ring. She turned to Sienna. “What’s that bell ringing for?”
Before Sienna could answer, the kids began to pour out of the yellow building and Audrey said, “Never mind.”
Sienna chuckled. “They are awake now.”
Audrey’s heart raced excitedly. She would get to see Esther. And Ken would also get to meet her; the little girl hopefully would become their daughter one day. Audrey stood up and said to Sienna, “I am going to find Esther now.”
Sienna laughed. “Esther is not running away, Audrey. You’ll get to see her soon enough.”
“No, I want to see her now.”
“Okay, then,” Sienna said. “You can go. I have some things to discuss with Mary now. I’ll catch up with you later.”
Audrey put her hand on Sienna’s shoulder, smiled at Mary, and then left the office. A few of the bigger kids came out of the other building some distance away from where the administrative building was and she glanced at them. They were teenagers and she wondered how they felt still living in an orphanage after all this time. It was a good orphanage, but she couldn’t imagine how they would feel not having families of their own. Her heart went out to them and then she forcefully turned her gaze away. She had to go find Esther.
She walked toward the yellow building, excitement flooding her. Some of the kids turned to look at her and one of them, a little boy who looked around five, ran up to her and stared up at her. She stooped down to look at him and smiled. “How are you, darling?” she asked him.
His smiled but did not answer, and then she realized she had spoken to him in English. She asked the question in Spanish and he told her he was fine. She straightened, ruffled his hair, and then looked around her. Esther was not outside yet. She considered walking into the hostel, but thought better of it. She wanted to speak to Esther alone. She would probably be crowded by the other children if she went in.
If only I could adopt them all. But she definitely couldn’t. All the children were precious. However, Esther held a special place in her heart. No matter how resistant Ken was, she couldn’t let the girl go.
Speaking of Ken, where was he? She looked around her but didn’t see him or Bryan. She sighed. They were probably around somewhere. She hoped she would find Ken once she saw Esther so he could meet her.
She turned to the orphanage again and smiled. Esther was coming out of the building with another little girl. Audrey watched her. She was talking with the other girl while skipping. Audrey’s smile widened. From the little she had seen, Esther was always skipping, and she always looked happy, except for yesterday when Audrey left the orphanage. Remembering that moment tore at Audrey’s heart. Esther had looked so sad.
Audrey waited for Esther to turn in her direction. When the little girl did, Audrey beamed.
Esther’s eyes widened and her entire face lit up. She let go of her little friend’s hand and ran to Audrey.
Audrey caught her as she jumped up and lifted her up in her arms.
Esther hugged Audrey tightly, and Audrey put her down. “I told you I would be back,” she said, touching Esther’s cheek and smiling down at her.
Esther took Audrey’s hand and said, “Do you want to see my doll and teddy bear?”
Audrey nodded. “I would love to.”
Esther led the way to the hostel and led Audrey to her bunk. She let go of Audrey’s hand and opened the locker beside the bunk.
Audrey looked around her. There were kids everywhere, talking and laughing. Some played and ran around the room, while others sat on the bed, chatting.
Audrey faced Esther again as the little girl brought out an old doll with half her hair gone, and a ratty teddy bear. Audrey smiled as she looked at the doll and the teddy bear. For some reason, she had envisioned dolls and teddy bears like the ones Ruby owned; new and neat. But these ones looked really old. She made a mental note to buy Esther a new doll and teddy bear and then sat down with the girl on her bed.
Esther brought out a tiny feeding bottle and pretended to feed the doll. After a while, she handed the bottle to Audrey and gently placed the doll in her lap.
Audrey smiled and thanked Esther for trusting her enough to let her feed the baby doll. She put the feeding bottle on the doll’s mouth and then made a sucking sound with her tongue and teeth.
“Why are you making that sound?” Esther asked, giggling.
“Well, it’s the sound a baby makes when they’re sucking on a feeding bottle,” Audrey said, smiling.
For some reason, Esther found it hilarious and laughed out loud. Audrey continued to make the sound, prompting more laughter from Esther. After that, Audrey played with Esther’s teddy bear.
Soon they began to play a mini game of hide-and-seek, which involved not just her and Esther, but the doll and teddy bear as well. Even though she was an adult, Audrey enjoyed the game. Esther went to hide behind the door of the next room and Audrey pretended not to see her. She loudly asked some of the children if they had seen Esther and they stared amusingly at her. One of them, a girl dressed in a white floral gown, pointed at the door and said, “There she is.”
Audrey smiled as Esther giggled, but she looked away and said, “Where? I don’t see her.”
The child laughed and pointed again. “There! She is right there.”
Audrey looked up at the ceiling and the children watching her roared with laughter. The child in the floral dress pointed again at the door and said, “Esther is there. She’s behind the door.”
Audrey hid a smile and looked down at the floor. “I can’t see her,” she said. “Is she hiding under the carpet?”
The kids shook their heads and laughed again.
Finally, Audrey went to the door and grabbed Esther’s hand.
Esther laughed and said, “Okay, it’s your turn to hide.”
They played for about ten minutes more, and then Audrey took Esther’s hand and led her out of the room.
Clutching her doll tightly in one hand and holding Audrey’s in the other, Esther skipped beside Audrey.
Audrey searched around the orphanage grounds looking for Ken and Bryan. Soon, she found them near the gate of the orphanage, talking. Bryan was pointing at a building some distance away and Audrey approached them, wondering what they were talking about.
Ken turned to her as she approached and then raised his brows when he looked at Esther.
Audrey and Esther reached him and Ken’s brows rose even higher.
“I’ve been looking for you,” Audrey said. She smiled and said, “This is Esther.”
Bryan smiled, gently patted Esther’s head, and then excused himself.
Audrey briefly watched him go and then turned to Ken. Esther was looking up at Ken with an inquisitive expression on her face. Ken was also smiling at her. Joy flooded Audrey’s heart. Ken looked like he already liked Esther. This could go well. This could go really well.
Audrey said, “Ken, well, do you…?”
He cut her off. “I’ll speak to you later.” He hurried away before she could say anything more.
Audrey’s eyes widened in surprise and then her heart sank. Ken just walked away without even speaking to Esther. Audrey had thought everything was going to work out. Clearly, he didn’t want to get attached to Esther in any way.
Suddenly, she felt physically ill. It was clear he had no interest in adopting Esther. He wouldn’t even speak to her. Thankfully, Esther had no idea of his rejection. At least he’d smiled at her.
Audrey looked down at Esther, who was looking up at her, her eyes glowing. She took a deep breath and tried to let go of her growing anger. For Esther’s sake, she couldn’t let her anger show. But once they got home, she would have it out with Ken.
You will do no such thing, a still, small voice said in her heart.
Her mouth fell open. Without a doubt, she knew it was the Lord speaking to her. She wanted to cry out and ask why not. Ken was so stubborn. He didn’t even speak to Esther at all. Why would she not confront him about that?
She wal
ked on with Esther while silently asking the Lord why she couldn’t talk to Ken about it. However, she heard nothing more. She had a choice to either obey the voice or ignore it. Right now, she didn’t know which she would choose.
She had never felt as much sorrow as she did now, except perhaps when she had lost her parents. What would she do if the opportunity to adopt this precious little girl passed her by? Plus, Ken still wasn’t interested in having a baby yet. It was all she wanted.
Once again, she cried out to God in her heart, but she still heard nothing. She had to speak to Ken about it once they got home. She had to let him know how this was affecting her. And she had to talk some sense into him.
She pushed away her anger and sadness and focused her total attention on Esther. Throughout her stay at the orphanage, she focused on Esther, talking to the little girl and trying to find out more about her life; the things that made her happy or sad. She knew she was investing more and more of her heart into the little girl, which would make the hurt even worse if Ken completely refused to consider the adoption. But she could not help it.
She walked around the orphanage grounds talking to Esther. Sometime later, Sienna joined them. They chatted and laughed and then at last, Esther let go of her hand. She looked up at Audrey with a smile and said, “Can I go and play with my friends?”
Audrey wanted to say yes immediately, but looking at the little girl, she knew what Esther was asking. She wanted to know if Audrey would still be here when she finished playing with her friends.
Audrey bent down and looked into Esther’s eyes. “You can go, Esther. I promise I will not leave without saying goodbye to you. And I will come back tomorrow.”
Esther nodded and then skipped away.
Audrey watched her with her heart aching. She felt Sienna’s hand on her shoulder and turned. “Ken refused to even speak to her,” she said.
Sienna rubbed her back comfortingly and said, “I am so sorry. Are you sure you don’t want me to ask Bryan to talk to him?”
Audrey remembered the voice she had heard; the voice she was sure was the Lord’s. She took a deep breath and then nodded. “Okay,” she said. “I think it will be a good idea to ask Bryan to speak to Ken. I doubt I’ll be able to get through to him anyway.”