by Emma Easter
“Once we get home, I’ll let Bryan know,” Sienna said.
Audrey nodded again.
Half an hour later, they were all ready to leave. Audrey left Sienna, Ken, and Bryan, and went in search of Esther. She found her near a small building at the back of the administrative building with some other girls. Esther spotted Audrey and ran to her.
Audrey hugged Esther tightly. She drew back slightly and put her hands on Esther’s cheeks. Smoothing down the little girl’s hair, she said, “I have to go now, Esther. But just as I said to you before, I’ll be back tomorrow.”
Esther did not look as sad as she had the day before when Audrey wanted to leave. Audrey knew it was because Esther trusted that she would keep her word. Unfortunately, Audrey did not have the same excitement as she had the day before when she’d started thinking about adopting Esther. This time, she had anger, sadness, and dread. The adoption might never happen. Sienna had promised to ask Bryan to talk to Ken about it, but Audrey doubted it would do any good.
Esther hugged Audrey again, and Audrey kissed the girl’s cheek. Straightening, Audrey said once more, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” She turned around and began to walk away and then turned back again. Esther waved at her and she waved back before turning around once more.
All the way to Sienna and Bryan’s, it took everything in Audrey not to bring up the matter about Esther with Ken. She held her peace, but she knew it would even take more self-control to keep from confronting him once they got to the house.
Audrey looked out of the car window as they sped down the road. Sienna took her hand but said nothing, and Audrey knew that her sister was giving her space to think.
They got to Sienna and Bryan’s house, and Audrey immediately went into the room she shared with Ken and sat on the bed. She covered her face with her hand and then took a deep breath to stop herself from breaking down. Ken walked into the room and she felt anger burn in her heart. He smiled at her, but she did not smile back. She looked away and then stood up when he came and put his hand on her shoulder.
She was burning on the inside, wanting to give him a piece of her mind, but knowing it would do no good. Maybe Bryan would be able to get through to him, though she doubted it.
“So, you won’t speak to me?” Ken asked. He came to stand in front of her, invading her space.
She glared at him for a full minute, wanting to let him know how she felt and then turned away. She went to sit down on the bed again.
“I thought you would want to talk about what happened at the orphanage today.”
She said not a word to him.
She felt his eyes boring into her, but she refused to turn to look at him. Once again, he put his hand on her shoulder, and she shrugged it off. He sat beside her and put his arm around her.
She turned to glower at him, and then stood and stared him down. She had to leave this room. If she stayed here a minute longer, she would say something she would regret later.
“Audrey… baby, please let’s talk,” Ken said.
She shook her head slowly, laughed harshly, and said, “Let’s talk? For what?” She pressed her lips tightly together and glared at him. And then marched out of the room. She went into the living room, which was now empty, and sat on the sofa. Lifting her eyes to the ceiling, she said, “Lord, I don’t know what you are doing, but whatever it is, please do it quickly. Please let Ken change his mind about this. I don’t know what I will do if we leave Peru without knowing for certain that we’re adopting Esther.”
She sighed sadly and picked up the remote control from the coffee table. She switched the TV on and flipped through the channels to distract herself from her pain. She would wait for Sienna to speak to Bryan and see if anything would come of it. She doubted it, however. Ken was as stubborn as a mule. Once he set his mind on something, he never changed it. He had set his mind on the fact that he wanted no children right now, and nothing would change that.
Chapter Sixteen
Leila smiled at Hauwa and told her she was leaving the house. “Please, tell your grandmother that I will be back a little later today,” she said.
Hauwa waved to her as she left.
Leila began to walk to Malik’s house. She looked around at the surrounding huts and the farm just a short distance away. A few men were on the farm, working at the part that had not been burned. She thinned her lips and thought about her stay in Dogon. She had been here for a couple of days already and apart from the first day she arrived, she had yet to sit down and have a full conversation with Malik.
She’d thought she could share the gospel with him on the day after she arrived, but everything had gone too fast. Malik was consumed with work on the farm, helping the farmers who had lost everything with their basic needs and trying to make up for the crops that had been burned. Leila, on the other hand, had been fully welcomed by Hauwa and her grandmother and had been busy helping the women with the cooking and the housework. Sometimes, she helped Hauwa sell her candies at the bus station.
It was such a different life from the one she had lived for the past few months in Saudi Arabia. However, it wasn’t that different from her life at the women’s camp. She found she was perfectly at home in this place. Apart from the incident with those farmers who’d tried to take advantage of her, she actually found that she liked this place. The only thing she didn’t like was the fact that she and Malik hardly had time for each other. She hoped that would change today, but she was not holding her breath. The need on the farm was still great and Malik was too occupied there. She had thought they would be able to leave for Nira by now, but it had not been possible.
She got to the front of his house and knocked. For the last two mornings, she’d come here without finding him at home. Yesterday afternoon, she had found him near the farm talking to some of the farmers. He’d told her he would speak to her in the evening. Even though he had kept his word and come to Hauwa’s grandmother’s house in the evening to see her, the caretaker had come there looking for him with news that he was needed urgently at a farmer’s house.
On her journey to Dogon, she had been so worried that they would not be able to keep their hands off each other when they were together. But they’d hardly spent any time alone.
She began to turn around when Malik did not come to the door, and then turned back again when the door opened.
Malik beamed at her. “Leila, my love! I didn’t know it was you. I thought it was a caretaker.”
She entered the house and, without thinking, hugged him tightly. She began to lean in to kiss him and then remembered she shouldn’t. She sighed and drew back.
He groaned and shut his eyes. “This is just torture,” he said.
She laughed at the look on his face and then took his hands. “It won’t be long before we can kiss each other the way we want to.” She started to say that they would be able to get married once her marriage to Dauda was dissolved, and then remembered he was still a Muslim. She could not marry him yet. She had to speak to him right now.
Her heart raced as she opened her mouth to talk to him about Christ, but he looked out the window and said to her, “I am so sorry, Leila. It’s time for prayers. Will you wait for me here while I go and pray in my room, or will you go back to Hauwa’s house? I will come and get you once I finish.”
She shut her eyes briefly, disappointment and guilt flooding her heart. This was exactly why she had to speak to him soon. She said to him, “Don’t worry about it, Malik. I’ll go to Hauwa’s now.”
He smiled at her and in his eyes she saw his love for her shining. She smiled back, her heart flooding with love for him. If only he was a Christian and she was not married, they would get married now and she could stay here with him.
She left his house and made her way back to Hauwa’s grandmother’s house. Guilt and fear dogged her steps. She couldn’t marry him until he became a Christian, but what if he never did? What if marrying him was not even part of God’s plan for her life?
The quest
ions tore at her heart and fear gripped her. She couldn’t imagine going on living without him. But what if the Lord made it clear to her that she was not supposed to marry him?
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, a soft voice in her heart said. She bit her bottom lip and tried to push her worries aside.
You know it’s not right, Leila. How are you sure he will come to Christ? You should break it off with him now.
She wanted to cry out at the persistent voice in her heart that would not let her be. Malik just had to accept Christ. He had to. They were destined to be together.
Then you should be sure that he will come to Christ when you share the gospel with him.
But she wasn’t sure. She came from a strict Muslim community back in her hometown in Morocco. She knew how difficult it was for a Muslim to come to Christ. Unless the Lord moved miraculously, it might never happen for Malik.
But he will because he loves me very much, she thought.
How are you sure that will happen? And even if he does convert, will it be a true conversion, or will it just be because of you?
The troubling thoughts followed her all the way to Hauwa’s house. She entered the hut and sighed wearily.
Hauwa came out from the inner room and shook her head. “You didn’t see Malik?”
Leila said, “I saw him.”
“How come you’re back already, then?”
“He wants to pray right now.” Leila looked around the hut and said, “Where is your grandmother?”
“She’s still sleeping,” Hauwa said. “You know she came back late yesterday. She was exhausted after visiting all those farmers who lost their property.”
Leila nodded. She said to Hauwa, “Is there anything around you want me to help you with?”
Hauwa shook her head and then said, “You could keep me company again while I sell the candies. They’re almost finished and my grandmother will have to go to the next town to get some at the confectionery again.”
Leila nodded. “Okay. Are you ready to go now?”
“Let me just change and then we will go.”
Ten minutes later, they left the hut, with Hauwa carrying a tray of candies on her head. They reached the bus station where Hauwa sold her candies, and Hauwa carefully brought down the tray of candies and placed it on the floor beside a wooden table. Quickly, with the cloth she’d used to carry them, she wiped the wooden table down and placed the tray of candies on it. She arranged the candies carefully on the table and Leila helped her out. After they finished, they sat on the bench next to the table.
There were already people roaming around the bus station. Some were entering the buses on their way to various destinations, while others went into the bus station to buy tickets. Leila thought about her plan to go back to the women’s camp. She wished she could speak to Zainah about Malik now. But at the same time, maybe not. She knew exactly what Zainah would tell her. Her best friend would advise her to leave Malik alone since he wasn’t a Christian. At least, that was what Zainah had told her to do when she’d first found out about her and Malik in Nira.
Leila felt Hauwa’s hand on her shoulder and turned to the girl.
Hauwa smiled at her, watching her with an inquisitive expression. “What’s wrong, Leila? You looked really down after you came back from Malik’s house. Did you have a fight?”
“No.” Leila smiled at her. “No, we didn’t.”
“Then what’s wrong?”
Leila sighed and then studied Hauwa’s face. The girl reminded her of Khadija. She was thoughtful and caring, and had a great attitude and intelligence for her age. Leila said to her, “I just have some things running through my mind.”
“Is it about your relationship with Malik? You know, he’s like a brother to me.”
Leila chuckled. “What do you know about relationships, Hauwa?”
“I know that you and Malik love each other. I think you are going to get married soon.”
Leila shut her eyes and sighed again. She wondered how much she could tell the girl and then decided to bare her heart. Hauwa was only eighteen, but she seemed to be wise beyond her years. Besides, Leila needed someone to unburden her heart to.
“There’s nothing more I want than to marry Malik now, but there are complications.”
“What kind of complications?” Hauwa asked.
“Big complications,” Leila said. “For one, I am still married to someone else.”
Hauwa’s jaw dropped and she stared at Leila for a long moment. Finally, she said, “How come? I thought you were single.”
Leila said, “It’s a long story, but the short version is that I was forced to marry someone. That was after I met Malik and fell in love with him. Thankfully, my husband has agreed to dissolve the marriage.”
Leila chuckled in spite of herself when Hauwa rubbed her palms together in clear glee. Hauwa said, “That means you can get married now, so what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that I don’t know when my husband will actually dissolve the marriage and I’m growing impatient,” Leila said. She looked into Hauwa’s eyes and wondered whether to tell her the second reason why she was so troubled. Hauwa and her grandmother, like most people around here, were Muslims. They both knew she was a Christian because she’d told them, but Hauwa might not understand if she told her that she could not marry Malik because he wasn’t a Christian, and that she wanted to share the gospel with him so he could become one.
Hauwa said, “There’s something else you’re not telling me.”
Leila smiled. “You are pretty perceptive for your age.”
Hauwa smiled and looked at her expectantly.
Leila didn’t say anything for a few seconds and then she said, “You know that I am a Christian, Hauwa.”
Hauwa nodded.
“As a Christian and someone whose faith means everything to me, I cannot marry Malik unless he shares my faith.”
Hauwa said, “I understand that. There are some Muslims who won’t marry someone who isn’t Muslim. But from what I know, Malik doesn’t care about that. He loves you. I know from the way his eyes sparkle whenever he sees you that he wants nothing more than to marry you.”
“Yes, I know. But I cannot marry him unless he becomes a Christian. A true Christian.”
“But why?” Hauwa asked.
“Because Jesus is the most important person to me and as much as I love Malik, I love Jesus more. I cannot be Malik’s wife unless he loves Jesus the same way I do.”
Hauwa stared at Leila, her eyes shining with many questions. She said, “Just now, when you talked about your love for Jesus, your entire face lit up and you had a glow about you. It was so strange . . . and yet one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen.”
Leila blinked. This wasn’t what she had expected when she started talking to Hauwa about Malik. An opportunity to bring this special girl to Christ or at least plant seeds of the gospel was right before her. However, she knew that if Hauwa converted, the people in this village, including her grandmother, would make her life miserable. It was one thing for them to entertain a Christian in their home, but it was another for one of them to become a Christian. They would not be able to abide that.
But what about Malik? a small voice in her heart asked her. You’re planning to get him converted as well. And you have not cared about what his community will say or do to him if he converts.
She sighed. That was different. Malik was an adult who did not depend on anyone for his livelihood and upkeep. He could take care of himself. Most of all, they could move to the women’s camp together. He didn’t have to live amongst people who were hostile.
She turned to look at Hauwa, who was still looking at her with an inquisitive expression, and knew without a doubt that she had to share the gospel with her. This was an opportunity the Lord had placed before her, and there was no way she was going to pass it up.
Leila said, “Hauwa, who is Jesus to you?”
Hauwa shrugged and said, “He’s
a great prophet. We all know that.” Hauwa sighed. “I know Christians think he is the son of God, but we know better.”
Leila had expected Hauwa to say words like that, but what she did not expect was the hesitancy and uncertainty in Hauwa’s voice and face as she said the words. She seemed ripe and ready to receive the gospel. Leila wondered about that. There were no Christians around except for her. Her eyes widened. Could it be that Hauwa had been watching her for some time?
She put her hand on Hauwa’s shoulder and said, “You are right. I believe that Jesus is the son of God.” Leila began to share the gospel with her — everything she knew about the Lord. She countered all objections before Hauwa gave them and placed the evidence of the gospel before her. Finally, when she finished, she said, “You need to make a decision, Hauwa. What do you want? Would you like to be a follower of Jesus?”
She held her breath as she searched Hauwa’s eyes and waited. Was she right about the girl? Was Hauwa ripe for the harvest, and would she come to the Lord now or reject Him?
Leila blinked when, without warning, tears began to pour down Hauwa’s face. “I have been watching you for some time now, Leila,” Hauwa said. “I have been watching the way you carry yourself, the way you sing in the morning when you wake up. The words of the songs that you sing are so touching. One time, I heard you praying. You were talking to God as though you knew Him personally; as though He was truly your father. I want that.” She nodded. “I want to receive Jesus.”
Even though Leila believed in the power of the gospel to save, her mouth still dropped open for a second. The girl was ready to receive Christ now. Finally, she said, “Do you believe that Jesus is the son of God, Hauwa?”
Hauwa looked at her for a few seconds and then nodded. “I do.”
Leila said to Hauwa, “And you do know that it might be risky for you to accept Him into your life?”
Fresh tears poured down Hauwa’s face and she nodded.