by Emma Easter
Leila said, “Dauda did not strike me as someone who would just burn down another’s farm. He seemed like a very kind person when I lived in his house.”
“How kind can someone who forced a woman to marry him be?” Malik said in an incredulous voice.
“He told me if it wasn’t for his brother, he would not have even thought about marrying me without my consent.”
“But he did marry you without your consent. He’s just as guilty as Jibril.”
She wanted to say she did not believe that he was, but she changed her mind. The more she defended Dauda, the more Malik would wonder why she was defending him. She smiled brightly at him and said, “Well, it doesn't matter who is guilty. All that matters is that soon, Dauda will come to Nira and dissolve our marriage, and then you and I will be free to wed.”
Malik smiled tenderly at her. “I can’t wait for that to happen,” he said. “And I am sorry for doubting you. If you say Dauda is a good person, then I believe you. At least he agreed to dissolve the marriage.”
Leila wanted to caress his cheeks, but she settled for his hand. “Thank you,” she said to him.
They changed the topic and talked about his daughter, Fanta. He told her about the little quirks and funny things Fanta did. “She’s growing so fast,” he said. “I know it’s selfish to wish she would remain a child forever, but I just can’t help it. Sometimes, I feel like I will wake up one day and she’ll already be an adult, ready to get married and leave me.”
Leila laughed.
“It’s not funny,” he said, shaking his head at her.
“I’m sorry,” Leila said, still laughing. “It’s just the way you said that you’ll wake up one day and she would be an adult, ready to get married.” Leila smiled at him and said, “Don’t worry about it, Malik. You still have many more years to spend with your daughter.”
He said to Leila, “Talking about fathers and daughters, you’ve never told me about your parents. Is your father still alive? What about your mother?”
Leila shut her eyes briefly as pain stabbed her heart. She opened her eyes and sighed.
Malik said softly, “I am sorry, Leila. If it’s too painful for you to talk about, then you don’t have to.”
She replied, “It’s okay. My mother died when I was only four. Growing up, I always wished I had a mother. It was kind of painful not to have one. My father did the best he could for me and my elder sister. At least, I thought he did. I thought he loved me until I came to Christ and he turned his back on me. So did my sister. I was devastated by that. I never looked back after I left my hometown to the women’s camp. I haven’t seen or heard from them since.”
Malik threaded his fingers through hers and his eyes searched hers. He said, “Don’t you ever wonder about them, Leila? Don’t you want to see them again?”
“I used to think about them a lot a few years after I went to the women’s camp. But the women there gradually became my family. Zainah helped mend my heart. It’s not like I have totally forgotten about them, but I hardly regard them as my family now.”
Malik nodded. “I understand. I think you will relate well with Fanta. You both have the same experience of losing your mothers at an early age. I’m so thrilled that I have you, Leila. Fanta will not grow up without a mother because you will be her mom.” He rubbed Leila’s back and said, “You will make such a great mother for Fanta. And maybe, even though you did not grow up with a mother, getting to be a mother yourself might help to heal some of the wounds you have from being motherless.”
“I hope so,” Leila said. She felt tears stinging her eyes as she said, “Do you really think I will be a great mother?”
“The best,” Malik said. “I have no doubt about it.”
“Thank you,” she said to him. Hope and guilt warred in her heart as she talked about being a mother to Malik’s daughter. She wanted that very much. But what if Malik did not accept the gospel? Right now, he was beyond excited that he would have her as his wife, and also a mother for his child. But if she shared the gospel with him and he refused to accept the Lord, he would be devastated, just as she would be.
Worry and fear threatened to strangle her. She looked down to the floor and exhaled. Please Lord, please let him accept you. She knew it was wrong for her to want him to come to the Lord mostly so they could get married, but it was how she felt.
He lifted her chin with his finger and stared into her eyes. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” she lied.
He shook his head. “Something is wrong, Leila. Tell me what it is.”
She sighed and said nothing for a long moment. Finally, she opened her mouth to tell him why she looked sad and then started when a man beside a bus near them began to yell, “Everyone going to Nira, get onto this bus right now!”
She forced a smile and stood up. “Let’s get onto the bus,” she said to Malik.
He stood up, pulled her suitcase in one hand, and carried his small duffle bag in the other.
They both watched as the driver put her suitcase and his small bag into the trunk. After that, they got on the bus and sat in the second row. Leila sat near the window, while Malik took the seat next to her. The bus soon filled up and the driver shut the doors.
The driver, a short man with a goatee, got into the driver’s seat and soon they moved out of the bus station. Malik said, “Nira, here we come!” He looked at Leila and added, “I feel so different this time going to Nira with you. It feels . . . what can I say? It feels nice, and I am definitely more at peace with you beside me.” Once again, he took her hand and squeezed it.
On the journey, Leila and Malik chatted and laughed. She buried her worries in her heart. There was no point worrying right now. She would share the gospel with him when they got to Nira and pray with all her heart that he would be receptive to it.
The driver soon stopped at a canteen located in a small village. Leila and Malik came out of the bus with some of the other passengers and went in. They chose an empty table and sat facing each other. They ordered their meal and once it came, they dug in.
Leila laughed. “This feels like a date,” she said.
“A date?”
“You know, a date. It’s when two people who like each other or want to explore a relationship go out somewhere and spend time together getting to know each other better.”
He smiled. “I know what a date is, Leila. I was just surprised because I didn’t think about it like that until you said it.”
She said, “Well, I didn’t know what a date was until I learned about it when I was in a small town in North Africa with Zainah. I went out on a few dates with a guy I met there.” After she had spoken the words, she wished she had not told him about going on a date with another guy, even though it was before she’d met him.
He didn’t seem put out or jealous. He said, “After Fanta’s mother died, I considered remarrying several times, but I never found any woman who I wanted to settle down with.” He looked away from her and she frowned. He turned back to her again and said, “This sounds a little strange, but before you came to Dogon, I was thinking about getting married again. Not to someone I know, but just getting married so my daughter would have a mother. I figured that since you were already married to Dauda, there was no hope for either of us. I didn’t want my daughter growing up without a mother and staying in my father’s house continuously.”
Leila was surprised by what he had said, but she totally understood. She said to him, “I see why you would do that. If I were in your shoes, I would probably do the same thing.”
He took a sip of water and then said to her, “I am so glad you came back to me, Leila. Thank God I don’t have to marry a random woman and try to see if she will be a good mother for my daughter. I love you, and I know you love me and would love Fanta because of that. You have so much love in you and will be a great mother.”
She smiled widely. “Thank you for saying that, Malik,” she said. For the umpteenth time that day, she looked a
t the ring he had given her. It was a beautiful engagement ring, but it filled her heart with guilt as she stared at it. She would never totally be comfortable with him and the idea of marrying him until she and Dauda had dissolved their marriage and until he had come to share her faith.
They finished their food and then went back into the bus again. For the rest of the journey, they continued to chat, enjoying each other’s company. Finally, the bus approached the Nira bus station and Leila said to Malik, “It’s so strange. For years I stayed in one place and never saw the rest of the world. Now, for the past year, I have been traveling from one place to another. Nira especially seems like my second home now. Granted, a home where a lot of bad things have happened, but one of the most beautiful things that has ever happened to me happened here.”
He said with a tease in his voice, “Really? And what is that beautiful thing that happened to you here?”
She laughed. “As if you don’t know. You happened to me.”
He grinned at her. “And you, my love, like my daughter’s birth, are the most beautiful thing that has ever happened to me.”
She melted at his words. Once again, it took everything in her not to lean in and kiss him.
They left the bus station together after they had taken their luggage and crossed the road. They followed the path that Khadija had pointed out to her months ago and got to the back of his house in no time. Going around to the front, Malik asked her if she would come with him to his father’s house so he could get his keys, or if she wanted to wait.
“I’ll come with you,” she said.
They left their luggage near Malik’s front door and walked the short distance to his father’s house. Malik knocked on the gate and then waited. Leila looked at him and sighed happily. She couldn’t believe she was standing next to him now. After all she’d gone through and how long she had searched for him, they were finally together. If not for all her worries about her marriage and his faith, she would be the happiest woman in the entire world. Once he accepted the Lord and her marriage to Dauda was dissolved, nothing would be able to mar her joy. They would be so happy together.
The gates opened and Khadija stared at both of them. She let out a shout and threw her hands around Leila and Malik at the same time. She drew back with a huge smile on her face and said excitedly, “You’re both here!” She looked at Leila and grinned. “You’re finally with Malik! I’m so happy you found each other again.”
Malik beamed at his sister and then asked, “Is my mother home?”
Khadija answered, “She went to the market. And so did my mother.”
He said, “That means Fanta is not in the house?”
Khadija nodded. “She went to the market with your mother. I think they will soon be back.”
“Can I have the keys to my house?”
“Won’t you come in?” Khadija asked. She looked at Leila and then turned back to her brother.
Malik said, “I am really tired now. And I don’t want to see Father just yet. I suppose he is at home?”
Khadija nodded. “He is.”
“Do I have to come in before I get the keys to my house?”
Khadija chuckled. “Of course not. I’ll go get them for you.” She turned to smile at Leila and then left to get the keys.
Leila said, “I am glad you didn’t decide to go in. I’m not up to seeing your father either.”
Malik shrugged. “I will see him soon enough, but I am in no mood to see his face right now. I just wish Fanta was at home. I can’t wait to hold her in my arms. It’s been weeks.”
“I understand,” Leila said.
Khadija came back, dangling the keys to Malik’s house on her finger. She handed them to him and said, “Papa is complaining. He told me to ask why you won’t come in.”
Malik’s mouth turned up. “He knows exactly why.” He turned around and said to Leila, “Let’s go, my love.” He took her hand.
They began to walk toward his house and Khadija came alongside Leila.
She peppered them with questions, asking them about the farm and what state it was in. Malik told her in as few words as possible how much the fire had affected the farm and the crops. They got to the house and Malik unlocked the door. They all entered the house and sat on the couch, talking.
Khadija stayed for another thirty minutes and then she said, “Let me leave you lovebirds alone.”
Malik scowled at her as she stood up. “What do you know about love, Khadija?”
She giggled and said, “I know a lot about love.”
He said with a voice filled with humor and a slight warning, “You had better not know anything about it.”
“Why not?” she asked. “Soon, Father will probably want to get a husband for me.”
Leila frowned and Malik shook his head. “I hope that doesn’t happen,” Leila said.
Khadija shrugged. “It might not be so bad.” She smiled at both Leila and Malik and said, “Let me go now. I will come back in the evening.” She left the house and Leila turned to Malik, her heart racing. Without a doubt, it was time to tell him what she had been postponing for some time now. It was time to share the gospel with him. But first, they had to talk about the sleeping arrangements. She said to him, “Where am I going to sleep for the duration of my stay in Nira?”
He lifted his brows and said, “I had not thought about that.”
She said, “Maybe I should take your father up on his offer. He told me I could stay at his house when I came to Nira some days ago. Maybe I should swallow my pride and fear and stay there.”
For some time, Malik said nothing and then he nodded. “That might be the best thing for you to do. As much as I don’t want you staying in the same house as my father, we have no choice.” He gave her an encouraging smile. “Since Fanta has been staying there without any problems, I will have to believe that you can stay there safely, especially when you told me he was nice to you the last time you went there. Though we can’t always trust that he doesn’t have something up his sleeve.”
She said to him, “You are right. We have no choice right now.”
Leila stared at Malik for a full minute while her emotions roiled. Finally, she took his hands and said, “I have something really important to talk to you about.”
“What is it?” he asked.
She took a deep breath and tried to let go of her nervousness. She said, “Malik, you know I love you very much.”
He nodded.
She said, “The thing is, I love you so much that I want you to know the kind of joy and peace I have in Christ. I want you to come to know Jesus.”
For a long moment, he stared at her with an incredulous expression on his face. Just when she thought he wasn’t going to say anything and was about to continue, he said, “I love you very much, Leila. But I don’t expect you to become a Muslim. Why would you expect me to be a Christian?”
Laila took another deep breath and went on. She told him about her life in Christ, how she had come to the Lord and what He meant to her. She shared the gospel with him more passionately than she had ever shared it with anyone. As she talked, she prayed in her heart that the Lord would touch him and that He would use the words she was speaking to save him. After she finished her passionate sermonette, she said to him, “Malik, would you like to accept Jesus as your lord and savior?”
While she shared the gospel with him, the expression on his face had been mostly unreadable. Now, he was scowling. He said, “Leila, I can’t believe that you would ask this of me. I was born a Muslim and this is my faith. If you cannot accept me and everything about me, that means you don’t really love me. I’m not going to convert to Christianity. As much as I love you, I have my own faith and you have yours.”
Her heart could not have ached more if he had stabbed her with a knife. He was actually rejecting the gospel. She should not have been surprised, but she was. With all her heart, she had hoped that after she had shared with him, he would accept Christ into his heart like Hauwa h
ad, or at the very least, consider it. She sighed heavily and said, “Please, Malik. Please. At least say you will think about it.”
“I am not going to think about it. I’m a Muslim and always will be. I love you and I want to marry you. It shouldn’t matter what religion we both practice. The only thing that should matter is that we love each other.”
Panic rose in her heart at his words. She couldn’t marry him if he wasn’t a follower of Christ. Why, oh why had she not listened to Zainah when she’d warned her about this? Now, she was head over heels in love with Malik and the idea of spending the rest of her life without him seemed incomprehensible. And yet, she would have to if he refused to accept Christ. She had to obey the Lord. If she married him, not only would she be disobedient, there was a likelihood that he might pull her away from her faith in Christ. That was why the Bible warned against being unequally yoked with unbelievers.
The panic in her heart increased and she put her palms together in a pleading gesture. She pleaded with him to turn to Christ, but he obstinately refused.
She said to him, “Malik, I can’t marry you if you don’t share my faith.” The words were painful to say, but she said them because at this point, she was desperate.
He said to her, “I can’t believe you would say that to me. True love is accepting everything about a person. It’s either you accept me for who I am or you don’t accept me at all.” He removed his hands from hers and stood up. “I want to marry you, Leila, but you have to decide. Are you going to love me and marry me just the way I am or not?”
She stood up and stared at him for a long moment. Her emotions were a mess and with everything in her, she wanted to say, “I will marry you the way you are, Malik.” But she knew she couldn’t. She would be disobeying the Lord. She loved Malik, but she loved the Lord more.
With tears in her eyes, she said, “I am so sorry, Malik. I can’t do it.”