Spell It Out for Me

by Sarina Dorie

  He crossed his arms.

  Jeb had been around for a long time. I didn’t doubt he was as good at bargains as most Fae. I didn’t expect I’d be able to outwit him, but I had to try.

  “Can Elric and I be friends?” I asked.

  “Certainly.”

  Yes! Friends . . . with benefits!

  The principal lifted his chin. “I expect that means you will end things amiably and stop seein’ each other. No physical contact and no excursions.”

  “Can he visit?”

  “No.”

  “But I can visit him?”

  “No.”

  “Friends do things with each other.”

  “You can be pen pals. You aren’t to see him unless you have my permission to do so. If he needs to speak with you about school matters, which I can’t imagine why that would be the case, Mr. Thatch or myself must be present.”

  Thatch? Did this man not have a heart?

  “Jeb, why would you do this to me?”

  “Because I care about you, darlin’. And more than that, I care about this school.”

  I wasn’t sure I believed he cared about me. If he did, he wouldn’t make me choose like this. I had a contract with Elric.

  “You do realize you’re damning me with this. I have to prove to the Silver Court I’m in love with Elric or else my soul will be theirs forever.”

  A smug smile stretched across his lips. “Is that so? Ain’t Felix got some kind of agreement with that prince? He found a loophole to get you out. Sounds like you’re off the hook.”

  “Did Felix Thatch tell you what his bargain was?”

  “Nope. Sworn to secrecy. But I reckon the price is high if he loses. Likely it’s in both your interests to let Felix figure things out for you, darlin’. You ain’t bright enough to outwit a Fae on your own.”

  His patronizing tone needled under my skin, incensing me worse than one of Vega’s jabs. He thought I was stupid? I would show him. Bargains in this world were always about outwitting the opponent, finding the clause they didn’t think of.

  I wasn’t going to cater to Jeb’s whims and ignore my own dreams just because he was trying to force me into a corner. My fairy godmother had once suggested that when there were two choices, and I didn’t like either, I needed to make my own path.

  Couldn’t I have magic and secretly see Elric? This was a world of magic, and Elric was a powerful Fae. He had proven he could get through the school wards through my invitation. Even if he couldn’t disguise himself or get on the school grounds without Jeb knowing, I could meet him in Lachlan Falls or the Morty Realm.

  I tried to look forlorn and downcast instead of shrewd and hopeful as I felt. “If I agree to not see Elric, will you let me stay here and study magic this summer?”

  “That’s right, partner.”

  “And will you let me mentor a student during the summer? I want her to stay here with me so I can tutor her.”

  Jeb sighed. “That’s highly irregular. We ain’t got no budget for providin’ room and board for students in the summer months.”

  “I’ll pay for her food myself. And she isn’t going to take up much room.”

  Jeb grimaced. “I reckon this is why those kids love you so much. I never met someone who advocated for students like this. Not since Headmistress Loraline.”

  I held my breath, uncertain if he meant that as a compliment or insult.

  He leaned back in his chair. “All righty. I’ll agree to you stayin’ on. You can work out the details with my secretary. Will you agree to give up that prince?”

  I chose my words carefully. “I’ll agree not to date Elric, but I would like to tell him why myself. I want to say goodbye. It’s the decent thing to do.”

  Jeb nodded. “I reckon that sounds reasonable so long as Mr. Thatch or myself is present.”

  I didn’t know who would be a worse chaperone. That was my true choice right there.

  Thatch glided up to me in the hallway as I headed up to my dorm room, a genuine smile on his face. “Did the principal say he’s being forced to keep you on?”

  I glowered at him. He was the reason Jeb had made me choose. If Thatch hadn’t interfered in my personal life, Jeb would have permitted me to stay during the summer and keep Elric as a boyfriend. His meddling risked the welfare of my soul. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he had hexed Jeb and everything nice Thatch had done was one of his elaborate schemes to manipulate me.

  “No need to thank me. Are you still glad you asked me to stay out of your business?” Thatch asked.

  As eloquently as I could, I repeated Josie’s catch-all phrase for Thatch. “You’re a bag of dicks.”

  He inclined his head in an expressionless bow. As a veteran teacher he’d probably been called far worse.

  “How has your homework been coming along?” he asked.

  I kept on walking toward my room. “Don’t talk to me.”

  “Is that any way to greet a friend?”

  “You are not my friend. Every time I see you, you pretend to care and you act like you’re my friend, but you always have ulterior motives. You’re a conniving, manipulative …” I searched for the appropriate word and latched onto one from the Unseen Realm. “. . . son of a witch.”

  “True. I am conniving and manipulative.” He cleared his throat. “But I’m not pretending to care about you. I want you to be safe from Fae. I will admit, my methods are not always . . . honorable, but I wouldn’t need to deceive you if you were willing to listen to logic.”

  “If you keep butting into my love life and try to get me to break up with Elric, I won’t ever speak with you again.” I kept on walking.

  He grabbed my elbow and tugged me back. I stumbled into him and probably would have toppled over if he hadn’t caught me. He released me, stooping lower as he stared into my eyes. He spoke slowly, his voice calm. “I can see I’ve offended you. I’ll stop telling you he isn’t right for you, if you agree to forgive me for vexing you.”

  His eyes were so sad. I wanted to believe him. But I’d wanted to believe he’d taught me magic and shared true details about himself because he wanted to be friends with me. Yet each time we’d started to grow close, he’d pushed me away. He’d lied to me to make me cry to collect virgin’s tears. He’d kept the truth from me about Derrick. He’d told me Derrick was dead, but he wasn’t. All the while he’d looked into my eyes with a straight face, no hint he’d been deceiving me in his countenance.

  “Promise?” I asked.

  “I promise to stop pestering you about Elric. Can we be . . . friends again?”

  Friends. He said the word as though he was uncertain about it.

  “Are we friends?” I asked.

  “When I’m not in the role of being your mentor and you aren’t my student, I believe I can put aside the professional hierarchy of our relationship and call you a friend.”

  As always, so stiff, so formal. I laughed.

  He lowered his voice. “As your mentor, may I ask how your studies have been going? Are you able to control the pain after you and Elric are . . . intimate?”

  I hesitated, uncertain I should answer him, but ultimately, Thatch was my teacher. I needed to inform him about my magic if I was going to get it back. “We haven’t done anything since that one night. Jeb told us we weren’t allowed to go on any dates this week. Elric was allowed to see me in Jeb’s office with Mrs. Keahi watching the entire time. And now. . . .” I didn’t want to talk to him about Jeb’s latest verdict. If I needed a shoulder to cry on, Josie would be a better listener.

  “Oh, such a shame.” He said it blandly, as though he didn’t care, but I knew him better than that. “How about your meditations for body awareness? And the other . . . exercises I gave you?”

  “My meditation, yes.” I blushed, trying to think of a polite way to talk about the masturbation practice he’d assigned. “I don’t have a whole lot of privacy for the other thing.”

 
“That won’t be a problem for long. Let me know when you’re ready for the chair in my office.”

  “Like for next school year?”

  “No. This summer. You’ll be staying here at the school, I expect. As do I, though for different reasons. In the summer, I spend most of the day taking notes on teenagers in their natural habitat—the shopping mall—and sometimes while in the outdoors with families or at summer camps where there is less electricity to interfere with their magical talents. Other teachers get a break from teenagers. I spend the summer recruiting.”

  I admired his commitment, though I didn’t envy the thankless hours he put in. He might have pretended he enjoyed receiving the Sourpuss of the Year Award, but it surely had to hurt to not receive recognition for all he did. It hardly seemed fair.

  “You do a lot for these kids.”

  Heels clattered on the floor from behind me. Vega strode down the hallway, heading toward us. I stepped aside. Her eyes narrowed at Thatch like his presence pissed her off. It probably did.

  She passed us and entered our room, slamming the door behind her.

  Thatch’s voice remained quiet and calm, a soothing melody. “After my previous attempts to subvert your relationship, will you trust me to remain professional? Do you feel . . . comfortable with me mentoring you this summer?”

  I shrugged, feigning nonchalance I didn’t feel. “We’ll see.”

  He frowned at that.

  A jolt of malicious satisfaction shot through me that I, for once, had the upper hand. He couldn’t take me for granted if he knew he had to earn friendship. He couldn’t be a jerk and step on other people’s feelings in order to achieve his goals.

  His dark brows rose upward. “Is there something you would like me to do . . . differently? Should I be trying to make things up to you in some way?” He looked genuinely concerned.

  It was strange to see him so human and vulnerable. Was this truly the same man who told me to toughen up every time I cried? Surely, this had to be a ploy.

  “Yeah, there’s this thing you could try,” I said.

  He tilted his head to the side, waiting.

  “It’s called being nice.”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Secret Rendezvous

  I wrote Elric a letter explaining I needed to talk to him on Monday in person. That would be a better time, since students would be leaving throughout the weekend to go home, attend camps, or leave for internships and apprenticeships. It was better he came when there were fewer students around.

  I was purposefully vague in my letter and didn’t explain what I needed to talk to him about. I didn’t know if Jeb or Mrs. Keahi read my mail. It would be unfortunate if I wrote: I’m not supposed to see you anymore, but don’t worry, I have a plan for how to trick them so they don’t know we’re still seeing each other.

  In Elric’s usual mischievous fashion, he showed up unannounced on Sunday evening just as I was coming back from the bathroom before teacher curfew. I found him lounging on my bed, reading one of Vega’s magazines. Most of her belongings were packed up or in the process of being packed, though I only saw one suitcase. It must have been the equivalent of Mary Poppins’ bag.

  Irritation ballooned inside me. I quickly closed the door before anyone spotted him. “Does anyone know you’re here?”

  “Vega does. She told me to get off her bed unless I planned on giving her a special present before she left for holiday.” He winked.

  “You can’t be in my room and on my bed. You’ll get me in trouble.” In more trouble.

  Why couldn’t he get it through his thick Fae skull he couldn’t show up unannounced? He acted like an entitled prince who went where he wanted and did as he pleased—even when I told him not to. I would swear he wanted me to get fired.

  He sat up. “Don’t fret. No one will know I’m here.”

  It did concern me. If he could break in this easily, so could the Raven Queen. So could her minions.

  “How do you know you haven’t just made it so that Derrick can get back in here?”

  “Derrick will never bother you again. I’ve made sure of it.”

  Just the idea that Elric might have harmed Derrick—evil minion of the Raven Queen as he was—sliced me to my core.

  He held up a hand before I could ask the next logical question. “He’s alive and well. I didn’t imprison him in a dungeon, but he is still cursed. He is on the other side of the world right now, out of the Raven Queen’s service and away from you.”

  Elric sauntered closer. He stroked my shoulder consolingly, his expression kind. My initial apprehension for Derrick melted away. Touch did that to me. I didn’t want to turn to jelly every time he touched me, but it was difficult to separate me from my magic and the influence it had on my body. Julian had used his knowledge of what I was against me. Elric wasn’t like that. He was just trying to comfort me, I told myself.

  I wanted to be grateful Elric hadn’t harmed Derrick, but I couldn’t focus. I scooted back from him, my head clearing when I shifted beyond his reach. “What about the Raven Queen? Can she get into the school like your father did?”

  He smiled reassuringly. “I was very good about putting the wards back the way I found them. I imagine Mr. Pinky or one of the other teachers would have noticed if I left holes. I can only get in like this because you invited me in.”

  I lowered my voice to a whisper, hoping there wasn’t any kind of spying enchantment at work in my room. “Jeb told me we had to break up. He told me it was my choice. I could either have my job and stay here to learn magic, or I could have you.”

  He tossed the magazine onto Vega’s bed and stood up. “You chose me, correct?” His blue eyes shifted to green. “That’s the better choice. I can find someone to tutor you in magic, but you can’t break up with me. I don’t mean that for my own selfish reasons—although, I am selfish—I’ll admit. You haven’t fulfilled your contract. We need to prove you love me to my father, and then your soul will be yours again. I suppose you could break up with to me after that if you chose.” His brows furrowed.

  “I understand,” I said. “But the principal wouldn’t listen. He was very firm. I don’t think you’re going to be able to buy him off this time. He wanted me to allow Mr. Thatch to figure out how to save my soul from your contract.”

  He took my hands in his. “Thatch’s bargain with me is not going to end well. It’s only going to bring you unhappiness.”

  I spoke slowly, cautious in my words, afraid he might read the wrong meaning in what I said. “I told Jeb I chose my job and learning magic.”

  “I see.” He stared into my eyes. His own changed from green to violet.

  “I told him I would meet with you and tell you we weren’t permitted to date. He insisted we could be pen pals.”

  “Pen pals?” His tone was incredulous. I didn’t know if he’d never heard that term before—or he was shocked by Jeb’s suggestion.

  “It’s a long-distance relationship that only involves contact through letters.”

  His brows knit together. “And that’s what you want? To be . . . pen pals?”

  “No, that isn’t what I want. I want magic and you.” I leaned in and hugged him, inhaling his scent of cedar and grapefruit mixed with cinnamon and exotic spices I didn’t recognize. I stood on tiptoe to whisper in his ear. “I’m going to take a walk tomorrow on the school grounds in the forest . . . by myself. I’m going to be sad and solitary because I most certainly won’t be dating you and will need time to myself to feel recharged after this sudden breakup.” I pulled away just enough that he could see the mischief in my smile.

  The sorrow in his eyes was replaced by curiosity. “Oh,” he said. “Good for you. Nature is invigorating. It will help you . . . forget about me.” He tilted his head to the side, his smile uncertain.

  I kissed him, trying to transfer all my love and excitement into my lips so he would know I had chosen him. I just couldn’t say it.

 
He whispered against my ear. “What time are you going to take that walk?”

  A normal date with a Fae prince was hard enough to make possible, let alone safe. I prayed I wouldn’t get caught on a secret date.

  I could hardly wait until I finished teacher duties monitoring hallways as students packed and the first wave of students left to go home for the summer. I was so happy I had outwitted Jeb, I couldn’t stop smiling. He hadn’t made me promise him with an oath. He hadn’t told me I was confined to the school.

  I was making my own path.

  The moment I saw Jeb, I forced myself to look downcast and crestfallen so he wouldn’t catch on to my schemes. He nodded at me and kept walking.

  At three on Monday afternoon, after most of the students had left, I headed into the forest. The sun warmed me enough I could go out in jeans and a striped T-shirt that made me feel semi-witchy.

  I had no idea where Elric would meet me, and he wasn’t always good at keeping track of the time difference between the Faerie Realm and the in-between land where Witchkin dwelled. That’s why I brought a water bottle, a granola bar in my back pocket, and my sketchpad and pencil. I found a shady area with a fallen log covered in moss that made a good bench. I sketched trees, thinking about what composition might make an interesting watercolor.

  “You didn’t tell me you would be doing art therapy to get over me,” Elric said so close to my ear I jumped in surprise.

  My pencil flew out of my hand in my nervousness. He caught it and handed it back to me. He sat on the log beside me, smiling and looking at home with the surroundings. He wore a loose shirt that might have been made of hemp or bamboo, the gray and white layers matching his hair.

  I closed my art journal. “Don’t sneak up on me like that. I thought you were the Raven Court.”

  “They can’t get in. My guards have been standing watch for hours to ensure the area was cleared. I wouldn’t let you walk into a trap set up by the Raven Queen.”

  “And you don’t think Jeb will know you’re here?” I didn’t want the principal to catch me and kick me out. If he did, I had an excuse prepared, but it was better not to get caught.