A Broken Past

by Cara L. Silver

  There are few girls crying on the floor, obviously drunk out of their minds. Normally they would irritate me but I’m slightly relieved that they are here because I’m not alone in the bathroom. They seem to have it under control, so I avoid getting myself involved in anymore drama. Instead, I walk past them to the showers and get into a stall. I remove my clothes that are now a reminder of the worst and best night of my life. I turn on the shower and let the hot water hit my body. My loofa isn’t strong enough to get the shame and guilt off my body.

  When I look down, I realize that my force has left my arms and chest bright red from my brutal scrubbing. I stay in the shower until it starts to turn cold because the water feels so good. Once the cold-water hits me, I shiver and get out of the shower to dry myself off and put my clean clothes on. I grab my things and walk out of the bathroom, past the girls who are now giggling, and into the hallway towards my dorm. I walk in the door and see Sarah passed out on the bed lying with Brad. I guess they must have worked it out. That was a short-lived break-up. I close the door and lock it. Cam’s reminder to lock my door is still ringing in my mind. If I had only listened to him the first time.

  I go over to my bed and get under my blanket, but I am so lonely. It felt incredible when his arms were wrapped around me. I miss him. I try not to think about any of it, so I pick up my laptop and start watching FRIENDS reruns. I think about Chandler and Monica’s relationship and think that maybe I could have that with Cam. Or maybe he can be my “lobster” like Ross and Rachel. I smile at the thought and drift off to sleep.

  Chapter 8

  Iwake up and look over at my clock that reads 6:33. “Shit.” Not the day to oversleep. I’m supposed to be at work at 7 o’clock. I have to be there on time because Gary normally opens at 7:30 and I’ll be damned if I don’t do this for him. Regret soon surges through me when I realize I haven’t called the hospital to check on him. He is the closest thing I have had to a father since I was ten when my own father left us, and I didn’t care enough to even call to see if he is okay. What an asshole I am. I was preoccupied with my own crap that I forgot about him. That is not okay.

  I quickly throw on some clothes and walk out the door. I notice that I have a voicemail, but I can check that after I call to check on Gary. I hope he is okay. I call the hospital as I walk to the Bistro. I finally get through to the hospital, but they can’t tell me anything because I’m not family. “Damn It.” They could at least tell me if he is still alive.

  I get to the Bistro and see Carl. He is one of the daytime cooks and is already here, waiting outside with a confused look on his face. “Where is Gary? He is usually here by now. It’s not like him to be late.”

  “He went to the hospital last night. It may have been heart attack, but they refuse to give me any information because I’m not family.” I pause and a single tear threatens to make its way out, but I quickly blink it away, knowing I may not be able to hold them back for long. “We need to keep this going for him until he comes back. This place is all he has.”

  “Agreed. I will call my wife, too. She is a nurse at the hospital. Maybe she can find something out for us. God, I hope he is okay.” Carl is a man of few words, so it’s not difficult to sense the concern in his demeanor.

  “Okay. You ready? Let’s do this.” I unlock the door and walk in with a sense of purpose now that Gary isn’t here. We may not share the same DNA, but he is family in my heart, and I want nothing more than to do this for him. I will keep this going as long as I need to. He deserves that much and so much more. I only wish I could find out more about his condition.

  We don’t waste any time once inside and start setting up to have everything ready for the morning rush. Before we open the door for business, Carl gets a phone call from his wife telling him that Gary is going to be okay. She couldn’t give too much information due confidentiality laws. Regardless, we are so happy to hear the good news. It gives us some alleviation so we can give our full attention to the Bistro.

  Thankfully, by 11 o’clock the morning rush starts to lull. Phew. It has been a rough few hours but we made it through the worst part of the day.

  Now that I’m not really busy, my mind unintentionally goes to Gary. In the few short months that I’ve known him, he has always been my rock, even though he may not know it. Of course, I never told him that because I don’t share my feelings with anyone. He took me in with open arms. Why have I not told him how much he means to me? Remorse fills me and I silently pray to anyone that will listen, that he will be okay so I can tell him how much he matters to me.

  I take a short break just to check my phone for messages because I will probably be here all day since there is no one else to close up at the end of the day. I listen to the message and the irritation fills my body. “What the actual FUCK?”

  “This call is for Danika McKinley. This is officer Daniel O’Keefe at the LAPD. We were informed of an incident that you may have been involved in that occurred last night and would like to discuss it with you. Please contact the police department at your earliest convenience so we can schedule a time for you to come down to the police station.”

  I can’t believe he would report this. I specifically told him that I didn’t want to go to the police. Why would he do this? I look at my phone again to get ready to call him, but I need to cool down for a minute and try to figure out what the heck I’m supposed to tell the police. This isn’t my first rodeo when it comes to an assault and last time it didn’t go so well. Since it’s Saturday, it will have to go on the back burner for now. I’m not going to worry about it. I have to think about the Bistro and Gary. Both take priority over this. And that’s already enough for me to deal with. I put my phone away and go back out toward the dining area to continue serving the customers. The day speeds by and I’m relieved when I look at the clock and see that it’s just after six so I can lock the door.

  I start to lock the door when I see Gary walking toward the entrance. I have never been so excited to see another human being in my entire life. As soon as he walks in, I give him a huge hug, which is very uncommon for me. I’m definitely not the touchy feely type but Gary deserves it, and I didn’t know if I would ever see him again.

  “Those bastards didn’t want to let me out. I felt like I was in prison.” He growls.

  “I’m so happy to see you. How are you feeling? They wouldn’t tell me anything. Carl could only find out that you were going to be okay but couldn’t get any other details.” I’m clearly rambling at this point.

  “I’m doing fine. I had a mild case of angina. Just have to take it easy for a little while.” He pauses and looks around. “It looks like everything was taken care of?”

  “We did the best we could. Of course, we missed you.” Truer words have never been spoken.

  “Thank you so much for taking care of the Bistro today. You are my lifesaver, literally. I’d be meeting my maker if you weren’t here yesterday.” His eyes look tired.

  “Gary, you are the closest thing that I have to a father. I thought I was going to lose you.” In such a short time, this man has been more of a father figure to me than my actual father has in the last eighteen years.

  “You are the daughter that I wished I had. I did a lot of things wrong in my life. But this place and meeting you may have been my saving grace.” A tear is rolling down his cheek.

  “Here. These belong to you.” I place his keys in his hand.

  “Danika, since I have you here, let me offer you a proposition. While I was stuck in that awful place, I had time to do a lot of thinking and I came up with an idea. How would feel about being the Bistro’s manager? I need someone I can trust, and you’ve shown me that you are the perfect person for this position numerous times. What do you say?” He reaches out his hand with the keys sitting on his palm, as if he’s handing them back to me.

  “I don’t know what to say. I’m flattered.” I pause to gain some composure. “Of course, I would be honored.”

  “Great. Over the
next few weeks, we will go over the logistics and start training you to place the orders and all that other fun stuff. We will need to hire someone to replace you because you aren’t going to have time to be waiting tables.” He winks at me.

  I smile and give him another big squeeze. “Thank you so much, Gary.”

  “Don’t thank me. You deserve it. And honestly, it’s time I start taking a step back. I love this place, but I want to see it thrive, and I think it needs a young, spry mind. Not some old coot like me.” He places the keys back in my hand. “Now take tomorrow off and be here Monday morning at 9 o’clock for your new position.”

  “I can come in tomorrow. You just got out of hospital. You shouldn’t be working.”

  “I’m not, we are closing for tomorrow. The college brats will just have to make do without their lattes and avocado toast for one day.” He lets out a roar of laughter. “Now, you get out of here so you can enjoy the rest of your Saturday night. Go out and have some fun. That’s an order.”

  “Thank you again, Gary.”

  “Go on. Get out of here.” He pushes me toward the door.

  I give him yet another hug and walk out the door. That must be some sort of record for me. Three hugs in a matter of twenty minutes. I try to recollect a time that I have been so affectionate in a whole day. No. Definitely has never happened.

  I start walking home and call Cam to rip him a new asshole for reporting what happened. He better have one hell of an explanation. He doesn’t pick up and the call goes to voicemail. So, he reports it and then avoids me. What an asshole! I probably shouldn’t but I leave a voicemail. “I can’t believe you did this to me. I specifically told you that I didn’t want police involved and you did it anyway. You crossed a line.”

  It’s chilly out, so my commute home is more of a power walk. It shouldn’t be this cold in Los Angeles. Or maybe I’m becoming one of those girls that have to wear huge winter jackets in California even though it doesn’t normally get below forty degrees. I used to sneer at those girls, living back East. I sigh at the thought that LA is making me soft. I walk into the building and see the mess from yesterday’s party, wondering who is going to clean this shit up.

  My bed is calling to my aching feet, but a shower should probably be my first encounter and then I have to call the police station. I grab my shower caddy and reach for the door handle when I hear a knock. I open the door and am shocked to see who is at my door.

  Casey pushes herself through the door and is obviously flustered. Her brother rats me out and now she’s at my door. This can’t be a coincidence.

  “I’m sorry to barge in.” She automatically starts pacing the floor.

  “Weren’t you supposed to go home today?” I’m baffled by this tiny person nervously walking back and forth in my room.

  “I shouldn’t have come but I didn’t know what else to do. I only know my brother here. But he kept talking about you this week, so I figured you were my only hope.” Her eyes well up and she begins to cry.

  “Listen, I don’t think I can help you. I’m not sure what this is all about, but I have to deal with a lot of other shit right now.” I’m still pissed that he called the police, but she doesn’t need to know that.

  “You don’t understand. He got arrested last night.” She collapses on my bed with her head in her hands.

  “What are you talking about? I think you are confused. He was here and then I imagine, he went to the police station.”

  “We got to his apartment last night and the doorbell rang.” She pauses briefly. “They stormed in and said he was under arrest for assaulting a professor and rape.”

  Her words hit me like a brick. “Rape? You must have misunderstood.”

  “I’m telling you the truth. Just because I am younger than you, that doesn’t mean I’m stupid. I don’t want to call my parents and you were the last person to be with him. Please tell me he didn’t do this.” Her body is shaking. “I know he would never do anything like this. He can be a little intense, but he has never touched a woman without her consent. Never. Please… tell me he didn’t hurt you.”

  Apparently, all I seem to do is hurt everyone I come into contact with. How did this even happen?

  “Oh My God…. Please don’t think that of your brother. He didn’t hurt me. This is just a huge misunderstanding. I promise you.” This is unreal. How could the police think this?

  “What am I going to do? He was supposed to take me home today. My parents are going to flip.” Worry spreads across her face.

  “Call your parents and tell them you’ll be home later. Go back to his apartment and wait for him. I will do everything I can to make sure he gets home.” Not sure how I’m going to pull this off since I have no car.

  “But How? What are you going to do?” Her eyes are almost identical to Cam’s. How did I not see that before? Oh, I know. I was too busy being a jealous psychopath to notice.

  “I’m not sure, but I need to get to the police station, and I don’t have a car. I’m going to get an Uber.” I grab my phone and I open the app.

  “No…. Take his car. I drove it here.” Before I can protest, she hands me the keys. “He’d want you to use it.”

  “Ok. Let’s go.” I guess my shower will have to wait.

  We walk out of the dorm. As I approach his car, I feel guilty that I’m finally about to drive my dream car in such a crappy situation. The thought quickly fades as I get in the driver’s seat and enter the police station’s address into the GPS on my phone.

  We ride in silence for a few minutes before she speaks. “He really cares about you, you know. I have never seen him talk about anyone the way he talks about you. It’s kind of sweet and maybe a little nauseating.” Her body jolts slightly in amusement, but she doesn’t let out any sound as if she doesn’t want to enjoy the conversation because of our current crisis.

  I’m not really sure how to respond so I just smile and try to concentrate on the road. I can’t be damaging the car that I never thought I'd sit in, let alone drive. We arrive at the police station twenty minutes later. I pull into a parking spot and get out of the car. “Wait here. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to come in. Cam wouldn’t want you in there.”

  She nods and I make my way to the doors. I inhale deeply before heading to the reception desk, knowing that the only way I can save Cam is to tell them what really happened, not the bullshit story that Mullins imagined. “I can do this.”

  I tell the receptionist that I need to speak with an officer and mention the phone call I received, hoping that will get someone to talk to me sooner. Officer O’Keefe is still on duty and he trudges out into the waiting area. I stand and extend my hand for a shake, but he just brushes me off. I can already foresee that this probably won’t go well. He’s an older man, probably in his forties with a bigger mid-section and is a few inches shorter than me.

  “Ms. McKinley, please follow me.” He guides me into a small room with a table in the center with a single chair on one side of the table and two on the other side.

  The room is very cold, not just in temperature but in atmosphere. Gray walls with extensive wear and tear make the room appear smaller than it actually is. I guess it’s what I would expect of an interrogation room.

  He pulls out a chair and sits down, extending his arm toward an empty chair. “Have a seat.”

  I reluctantly sit down, and he gets right to the point. “Can you tell me about the events that occurred yesterday evening?”

  I take a deep breath and begin telling him what happened with Professor Mullins. I try to not leave anything out.

  “So, Mr. Carter did, in fact, assault Mr. Mullins?” He questions.

  “He was protecting me. If anything, he is a hero.”

  “Ms. McKinley, let us determine who the hero is in this scenario.” Arrogance is beaming off of his round face.

  “Please… you don’t understand. He walked in and he saw that I was struggling. That’s the only reason he put his hands on Mullens. H
e only punched him once. It was not an assault. You are holding an innocent man. He was defending me.” I’m pleading at this point because I have no clue what else to do. I’d be groveling on my knees if I thought it would help, but I doubt O’Keefe would cave to that. He doesn’t seem to have any sentiment at all.

  “If you were assaulted, why didn’t you immediately call the police to report it?” Of course, this would be up next for discussion.

  “I’ve been in a similar situation before and telling police didn’t change or even help the situation. Honestly, I just wanted to forget the whole thing. I asked Camden not to call the police. He wanted to and right now I’m wishing we did, because maybe he wouldn’t be in this mess.” I’m desperately trying to keep my composure and not break down.

  “Thank you for all the information, Ms. McKinley. You are free to go. We will be in touch if we need any further information.” He stands up and opens the door to the interrogation room.

  Before I leave the station, I walk back to the receptionist and ask if she can help me with additional information about Cam. I don’t know much about the legal process except for what I have learned on the true crime shows and documentaries I have watched. She graciously explains that he is being held at the County Jail and that he recently had his bail hearing. She also stated that I would have to contact the jail for further instruction regarding bail and release.

  I don’t think it went as well as I had hoped. I feel defeated. Now I have to go out and tell his sister that I don’t think he will be getting out yet. I walk out to the car and I’m left breathless due to sheer panic.

  “So, what happened?” Casey is just looking at me with wide eyes, Cam’s chestnut eyes.

  “I don’t know.” I’m feeling like I just got kicked in the stomach. “I told the officer what happened, and I said that Cam shouldn’t be in there, but that prick doesn’t believe me.”