The house sits in a charming little cul-de-sac with similar houses, definitely a little cookie cutter, but cute, nonetheless. The exterior is a tan colored stucco, and the roof is a brownish red clay style. I can tell they take good care of the property. There are plants and shrubs lining the walkway to the door and everything is beautifully green, which is uncommon since San Diego is currently going through a drought. California always seems to be in a drought. I used to get so sick of the rain before I moved here. Rain and snowstorms occur frequently there.
We all get out of the car and walk to the door. Casey uses her key and just walks in with Cam directly behind her. I hang behind so I don’t confuse their parents and I don’t want to be rude. The stunning woman who is sitting in the living room jumps off the couch. She has dark hair cut in a short bob, slightly below her ears, which frames her feminine features perfectly. Her genes must be godly because she doesn’t look like she is old enough to have two almost fully grown children. I can only hope to look that good when I’m her age.
She practically sprints to her children and embraces them both. What it must be like to have an affectionate mother. I would never know, but I can enjoy other people’s wonderful parents.
“Camden, I’m so happy you came to visit. We miss you.” His mother is beaming with pride and then she finally sees me.
“Mom, this is my friend, Dani.” Cam sounds slightly uncomfortable. Obviously, we haven’t really discussed what we are doing. There really hasn’t been time with everything that has happened recently. So, I imagine he isn’t sure what he should refer to me as. Although, the “friend” reference stings a little, I don’t even know what we are. I think we are beyond friends, but I could be wrong.
“Hello, Mrs. Carter. It’s very nice to meet you.” I extend my hand for a handshake, but she has other plans. She grabs my mid-section and pulls me to her. This woman is unbelievable. Not only does she adore her children, but she welcomes me with open arms, literally. I’m not used to any of this.
“You’re gorgeous. Cam never brings girls home. But please call me Claudia.” Somehow her smile is bigger than before. “Well, come on sit down. I’ll go get some drinks and a snack.” She walks out of the living room, into the kitchen. The living area is all open, just broken up by different furniture. From where we are sitting on the couches, I can see straight into the kitchen, where she is preparing drinks and some sort of platter, and directly past the kitchen is the dining area with a massive dining table. There is a set of stairs off to the right of where we are sitting, which I can only assume leads to the bedrooms. Cam inches his way closer to me, but not too close, possibly to avoid any questions from his mom.
We sit for a few minutes before Mrs. Carter returns with three glasses of iced tea with a platter of some veggies and dip. She sits back on the love seat that is directly across from where Cam and I are sitting on a larger, matching couch. Casey did a magic act and disappeared as soon as we entered the house. It’s bizarre but I feel more at home here than I did in my actual home.
“So, Dani, do you go to USC with Cam?” Her legs are crossed, and she looks over at me attentively with her chin resting on her hand.
“I do.” I’m not sure what else to say. I’m not really big on small talk.
“What’s your major?” As she speaks to me, I see a spitting image of Casey, just slightly older.
“Right now, I’m majoring in Business, but it was mostly because I figured Business would be a better starting point than a Liberal Arts or a General Studies degree. I figure I can change it once I find out what I’m really passionate about.”
Cam abruptly chimes in. “Okay, Mom. Enough with the third degree.”
“No third degree, I was just trying to get to know your friend.” Her emphasis on “friend” makes me feel like she thinks we may be something more. “Your father is going to be bummed he missed you, both of you. He had to go into work today for some big project.”
We talk for a little while longer. I learn that Cam’s father is an engineer, who is working on special project for the city and his mother is a nurse at a local hospital. They are like the perfect little family. It’s so sweet to see Cam in his home element.
“Would you both like to stay for dinner? We would love the company and we have plenty of food. I’m making pot roast. It’s rare that Cam comes home.” She glances at both Cam and me.
“Pot roast sounds great, Mom. But I really don’t want to get stuck in traffic. We will take a rain check.”
After a half hour or so of some more chit-chat, his mom stands and tells us that she needs to start preparing for dinner and politely excuses herself.
Cam also stands and heads toward the stairs. “I have to get a couple of things from my room. Do you want a quick tour?”
“Sure.” I follow him up the stairs and start thinking about how I really don’t know much about him.
His room is the first room once we get to the top of the stairs. He opens the door and I stare in amazement. His room is… well let’s just say, it’s unexpected. It’s a large room with navy blue walls. He has a large corner desk with four enormous computer screens strategically placed with two of them angled perfectly and the other two placed on either side of the right-angled screens. His room has a sort of nautical feel to it. His comforter has navy and white stripes on it. It’s really impressive how neat it is, not sure if that’s his mother’s doing or if he really was this clean when he lived here. But judging by the way his car is, it could definitely be all him.
I continue to take it all in while he gets a duffel bag and starts to gather a few things. My eyes go back to his enormous desk and I notice two picture frames. One with his parents and the other with a younger version of his sister on a bike. My mind goes to where it shouldn’t, and I smile thinking about how I wish he had a picture of me or the two of us in a frame on his desk.
Cam must notice that I’m awkwardly gawking around his room. “What are you thinking about?”
“I was just thinking that I don’t know much about you. You are so mysterious to me and I can’t seem to figure you out.” I just blurt it out, because why not?
He waves his hand around the room. “This is me. Nothing special. I’m not intentionally keeping anything from you. If you want to know something; just ask.”
“I’m going to take you up on that. Right now, I just have one question. What’s with the huge computer?” I point to the four screens.
“In high school, I was really into gaming and a little computer hacking. Nothing too illegal.” He winks at me. The lights bulb turns on in my head. That must have been what Sarah was talking about with the whole “IT genius” she mentioned. It all makes sense now.
I just stand in the middle of his room, wondering whether he hacked some system to get my information. Should I be flattered or scared?
After he is done grabbing his extra clothes, he starts to walk toward the door. “Are you coming?”
We continue down the hall and he shows me his parents’ bedroom. We just stand in the doorway and I can see that it’s beautifully decorated with a king-sized bed in the middle of the wall and a sitting area in the corner. I would love to live in a house like this. We keep moving and make our way to a closed door that he knocks on.
“Come in.” We hear Casey’s voice through the door. She has been missing in action since we arrived.
Cam opens the door and we both walk in. “We are leaving. We have to get back to campus.”
Casey’s room is pink. The best way to describe it is that it looks like a piece of bubble gum exploded. The entire room is bright and animated just like she is. I wouldn’t have guessed anything different for her. Her room is just as big as Cam’s and she is sitting at a desk with a normal computer set-up. The room fits her perfectly, peppy and bubbly.
Casey pouts. “Sorry, I bailed. With everything this weekend, I completely forgot that I had to finish an assignment for school tomorrow.” She nods her head toward her computer screen, her o
ne and only screen. “Will you let me come visit again? Hopefully, next time you won’t get arrested.”
“Soon. Once I figure all this out and get the trial out of the way. You can come when things are back to normal.” He truly cares about her.
My mind goes to my own sister and how we never really got along. It’s not like I didn’t want to, but we are just polar opposites with absolutely nothing in common.
“Don’t worry. I won’t tell them. Unless we really need to.” She reassures him.
Casey throws her arms around him and squeezes. “Don’t be a stranger. Love you, bro.”
I just stand back and admire the delightful family moment. Casey jumps at me and wraps her tiny arms around me. “Take good care of my brother. He seems like a tough guy on the outside, but he’s really a big softy.” She whispers in my ear so Cam can’t hear her.
I giggle because I can’t imagine the man standing in front of me being soft anywhere. Cam grabs my hand, and we walk toward the door. He shoots his sister a smirk and we retrace our steps down the stairs. His mother is in the kitchen when she sees us.
“Are you leaving already?” Her face is filled with disappointment and it’s obvious that she doesn’t want her son to leave.
“Yeah, we have to get back to campus.” Cam walks to his mother and gives her a hug.
“Please come back and visit.” She looks at both of us. She grabs my hand pulls me in for another hug. “It was wonderful to meet you, Dani. I hope to see you again soon.”
“It was nice meeting you, Mrs. Carter.” I just can’t get myself to call her by her first name. It doesn’t feel right; a little disrespectful. I’m going to miss her even though I only just met her. It strikes me that I may never see her again. Today has been wonderful, but I’m not sure if I’m imagining the connection between Cam and me. What if I am and he doesn’t feel the same way? My heart secretly hopes that he does.
Cam and I walk out of the house over to the car. As usual, Cam opens the door for me. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to the chivalry. And again, he jumps in on the driver’s side., which never gets old. His mother stands at the door and waves as he drives away.
He places his fingers through mine while he drives. “Hey, you want to do something before we head back?”
“Sure. What do you have in mind?” My curiosity peaks.
“I was thinking we could go for a walk.” He pulls his hand away so he can properly turn the steering wheel.
As he drives, I just take in the scenery to wherever we are going. I’m in a daze until we arrive at Balboa Park.
“I’ve always wanted to come here. I’ve seen pictures and it’s beautiful.” Our family had visited San Diego many times, but we never made it to Balboa Park. It was always to super touristy places like Sea World or the famous San Diego Zoo.
Cam parks the car, kills the engine and we get out. We walk around for a solid hour just talking and taking in the beauty of the park.
“So, are you going to tell me how you managed to get a hundred thousand dollars to bail me out?” His eyes are serious, but not judgmental.
I tell him about Gary and how he lent it to me. “I couldn’t let you sit in jail because of me.”
“Never think that this was because of you. That asshole was scared you were going to press charges, so he beat you to the punch.”
I feel like I have to be honest with him. “I need to tell you that when I got the call from the police officer, I thought you ratted me out. I was so mad because I thought you had betrayed me. You may have a nasty message from me on your voicemail. You can just delete that. I didn’t know what happened until Casey showed up at my dorm and explained it all. I’m sorry I doubted you.”
“You don’t have to be sorry. I probably would have thought the same thing, given the circumstances. I do want you to trust me though. I promise I would never hurt you intentionally.” He grabs my hand and interlocks our fingers.
The word “intentionally” scares me beyond belief. He may not hurt me intentionally but being hurt is inevitable considering that I’m falling hard for this man.
We continue to stroll, hand in hand, and we get to know each other. I tell him about my critical family back home and how I couldn’t wait to get away from them, resulting in my move to USC. He tells me about how he is majoring in Law with a minor in Computer Science. Who would have thought that this heavenly man, who looks like he could be on the cover GQ magazine, has brains too? I have learned so much about Camden Carter, yet not enough. It will never be enough with him. It’s terrifying that this might end. I have never felt close to anyone in my life. Before we realize it, it’s after 2 o’clock.
“We really should head back. Hopefully, we don’t hit traffic.” His hand moves to the small of my back and he leads us back to the car.
The drive back to LA is full of conversation that feels so easy. We talk about how Gary was in the hospital and how I was feeling about the whole situation. I tell him about how Gary promoted me to restaurant manager. I never realized how easy it could be talk to someone else. It’s never been all that easy before. By the time we arrive back at my dorm, I feel like I know the inexplicable Camden Carter a little deeper, but he still has a mysterious aura about him that I can’t quite put my finger on. But I love that about him. But, as he pulls the car into a parking spot, I try to suppress my sadness because I’m not ready for this day to end. I have never felt so alive then while I’m in his presence.
“Do you want to come in? We can order a pizza?” Crossing my fingers, I’m hoping that he wants to come in as badly as I want him here.
“Hell, Yes! That would be great.” A smile spreads across his face and I can’t help but smile too.
I feel unsteady on my feet and may even be a little too eager as we walk into the building. Once we are in my room, Cam reaches into his pocket to get his phone and calls to order the pizza.
I set up my laptop for Netflix so we can watch something while we eat. “Any suggestions?”
Cam taps his finger on his chin in a mocking manner, pondering what movie to watch. But I am not prepared for the suggestions that come out of him. “Let’s see… We already watched a comedy so how about a cheesy romantic movie? Something like Pretty Woman or Dirty Dancing?”
“Really?” My whole body vibrates as I crack up uncontrollably. “Why those specifically?”
“Yeah, why not? It gives me a chance to see how sappy you are when it comes to romance. And those may be the most iconic romance movies. I also may have done a little research.”
“I can tell you right now, I love both of them. I’ve watched each one more than a few times.” I giggle at the thought of this man wanting to watch either of his recommendations. Who to pick? Richard Gere or Patrick Swayze. But I settle on Dirty Dancing because I have a soft spot for Johnny’s tough guy persona. He may or may not remind me a little of a certain someone.
Someone knocks on the door and Cam gets up to grab the pizza. He comes back to the bed and we sit up against the wall and start the movie while we eat the pizza, which just happens to be the same kind that he ordered on our sort of “first date”.
After the movie ends, Cam glances in my direction with curiosity. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure?” It sounds more like a question because I’m not really sure to expect.
“What’s the deal with the nightmare you had the other night?”
His question burns a hole in my chest. If I want us to move forward, he has to be aware of how broken I really am, but I don’t want him to run scared when I tell him. “It’s a long story.”
“I have all night.” His smile says it all. He’s cautious because he knows it will be difficult for me.
I sigh in preparation to tell my story. Maybe it won’t be so bad. A girl can hope, I guess. “I have nightmares about something that happened to me a little over a year ago.” I pause trying to gather the strength to finish.
He grabs my hand, brings it up to his mouth and kisses it
with such adoration that I could cry. “If this is too hard for you, you don’t have to tell me.”
“It’s definitely not a walk in the park, but I want to tell you. I need to tell you. It’s important that you understand why I am so broken.” I take a deep breath. “This may take a while so just let me get through it.”
“When I was fifteen years old, I had my first boyfriend. He was kind of an ass, but I always had blinders on when it came to him, for some reason. Every one of my friends hated him but I shrugged them off. We dated for almost a year and then he cheated on me. He told me he needed more, which he meant physically, but I was still a virgin and I wasn’t ready to take that step. We had done practically everything else but that just wasn’t enough for him. I was devastated being my first “love” and all, or so I thought. I talked to other guys in school after that, but I never really got over him. I didn’t see him for over a year after we broke up. My birthday approached and he reached out randomly. He invited to take me out for dinner as a birthday gift. It was right after my seventeenth birthday. I agreed in hopes that maybe he would want to get back together. Because I was that stupid. Anyway, after dinner, one thing led to another and I ended up losing my virginity to him. I thought maybe if I gave him what he wanted, he would stick around and wouldn’t cheat on me again. Except, he never really wanted anything more than that. But I was so naïve, and I found out too late. He didn’t call me for weeks after. He took my virginity and never thought about me again, at least not for a while. About a month later, he called me and told me he needed to talk to me, and he came over my house. I didn’t want to at first, but I figured maybe he wanted to apologize for being a dick, so I eventually agreed to it. I had already seen his true colors, but I still had hopes for him, for some ridiculous reason. My mom was at work and my sister was out with her boyfriend, so we were alone.” The tears start to spill from my eyes. I can’t look at Cam right now because I don’t want him to leave. But I need him to understand, I need to get it all out so, I gain some composure and continue. “We went to my bedroom. I know. Stupid, right? But I figured we could have some privacy to talk; just in case someone came home. Except we didn’t talk. Instead, he ended up on top of me. I told him to stop but he just wouldn’t listen. He just told me that I’m the one who wanted it. And I didn’t have the strength to push him off, so I just laid there and let him take advantage of me.” Thinking about the past, has me sobbing now. “After he finished, he got dressed and walked out of my life forever. It was the most embarrassing moment of my life. In my nightmares, I relive that day over and over again. I can even remember the specific imperfections of the popcorn ceiling in my bedroom because that’s all I looked at until it was over.”
A Broken Past Page 8