Double or Nothing

by Brooke Carter

  “I guess the odds are astronomical.”

  “Es,” she says. “Make me a promise, okay?”

  “Of course.”

  “Be nice to yourself,” she says. “You don’t have to be perfect. Just be good to you.”

  I nod. “I have to learn how to do that. I’ll try.”

  Dad, my chaperone for this trip, holds up his wrist, pointing to his watch. It’s time to go.

  “Ag, can you do something else for me?” I ask, trying not to bawl.

  “Anything.”

  “Will you check in on Dillon while I’m gone?” I ask. “Just, like, make sure he’s happy, okay?”

  “I will,” she says. “Matter of fact, he sent a letter for you.” She presses an envelope into my hand.

  I grab her into one more hug before I pull away and follow Dad to my uncertain future.

  On the plane, I open Dillon’s letter. It’s exactly what I wanted to see.

  Sugar,

  I’m proud of you. I miss you. I’ll be here when you get back.

  Love,

  D

  Sugar. The word repeats in my mind. It stays with me throughout my hard days and weeks at the rehab center. It’s scary here, with all the broken people trying to find their way again. I’m learning a lot about myself, about why I do the things I do and how I can build a future.

  Aggie emails every day, updating me on Dillon (doing great, still hot), and school (she’s getting all A’s, of course). She tells me John Jr. and Big Steve turned on each other, sold each other out. Imagine that. Brothers!

  In their phone calls, Mom and Dad assure me that Aggie is safe, but I worry. I always worry. I’ll never forgive myself for putting her in danger, even though she has forgiven me.

  I think I’m going to stay out here for a while, where it’s warm and I’m away from my old habits. It’s so hard being away from Aggie, but it’s for the best. We’ll still have Twin Time™ on Skype, and no matter how far away she is, we’ll always be as close as two human beings can be.

  As for Dillon, he’s almost done his undergrad, and he’s thinking about where he wants to go next. In his emails he tells me there’s a certain sweetheart of his in sunny climes that he may have to call upon. Or some kind of old-timey nonsense talk like that.

  My parents are wonderful. They decided to downsize a little and bought an RV, so now they can go back and forth between me and Aggie. Mom is happy to be able to deliver ziti and lasagna. Dad is happy when Mom is happy, so everybody wins.

  I don’t think I’m going to graduate with Aggie. I don’t think I’ll be some hot-shot pre-med kid genius anymore. I see a new future for myself, maybe in counseling.

  Every day I get to make my own decisions and stand by them, and I get to live by the advice of old Polonius: To thine own self be true. I get to be me, and there’s a high probability that I am not perfect. Like Hamlet, I’ve suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, and I’ve come out the other side. It’s going to be okay, I think. This is my life. Win, lose or draw.

  Acknowledgments

  I am eternally grateful to the entire team at Orca Book Publishers for the opportunity to make books with them. You do incredible work. Thank you to my teachers for sharing great literature with me, and for making Shakespeare such an important part of my life. I’d also like to thank Tom Stoppard for writing a brilliant play and one of my favorite movies of all time. As always, I am so thankful for my family’s support, love, and endless, endless chances.

  Brooke Carter is the author of several contemporary books for teens, including Learning Seventeen and The Unbroken Hearts Club from the Orca Soundings line, and the YA fantasy series Runecaster.

  orca soundings

  For more information on all the books in the Orca Soundings line, please visit

  orcabook.com.