by BJ Wane
One thing was clear, he decided as his head pounded with the urge to get answers, something significant had happened that kept her away so long and put that look on her face. The question was, what?
“What happened?” Tamara pounced as soon as he reached them, worry darkening her gray eyes. “Is Nan okay? I should have been there to help her more this week.”
“She appeared to be by the time she left.” Appeared being the operative word. “But our girl has come home with some issues. Maybe you can get her to open up more about her time away, Tamara. Give me a double, Caden, would you?”
“I’ll join you in one,” he replied with an edge to his tone and concern swirling in his blue eyes Dan could commiserate with.
Connor hugged Tamara against him. “Her reaction was odd, given her experience. It’s not like she’s not familiar with the sights and sounds going on around here. Maybe it’s just the length of time she’s been away from the lifestyle combined with, like she said, the long week.”
That made sense, Dan admitted, so why was he mentally dismissing Connor’s suggestion? Ten months was a long time for a woman who embraced her submissiveness with such wholehearted acceptance and enthusiasm to go without getting her needs met. He hoped her craving for sexual release through submission hadn’t led her into a bad situation with the wrong person.
Tamara cut a quick glance toward Sydney, who seemed as worried about their friend as she was. “We’ll talk to her, but if Nan doesn’t want to reveal anything, or not yet, we have to respect that.” She pinned Dan with a direct gaze. “We all have to respect her privacy, if she wishes to hold on to it for now.”
Under any other circumstances, likely with any other woman, Dan would agree with Tamara. But his relationship with Nan included a long-standing friendship that surpassed them indulging in occasional play here at The Barn. He would try for patience, but if she continued with the odd behavior that reeked of a trauma he needed to know about before he could avail himself of that slender, curvy body again, he would insist on answers sooner rather than later.
“Of course,” he replied as smoothly as the last swallow of whiskey went down his throat. Setting the glass on the bar top, he nodded at the Dunbars. “I’ll head up and relieve Grayson and catch you later.”
“I like your openness, and the way you don’t shy away from what you want, and need.” Gerard’s black eyes glittered with appreciation as he swept Nan’s body from head to toe. Reaching out, he traced one finger in a circle around her right nipple, the light touch through the thin halter top enough to draw the tender bud into a tight pucker.
“It’s difficult to get those needs met if I don’t embrace them,” Nan admitted candidly, her pussy heating as he gripped her nape and held her head immobile as he took possession of her mouth. The man kissed as good as he looked, she mused, loving his tight hold and the hard pressure of his lips moving over hers. The wild beat of her pulse and escalating ache between her legs that had begun the moment she entered the BDSM mixer and spotted the tall, midnight-haired Dom from across the room obliterated the low murmurs of conversations going on around them.
“Let’s take this back to my place,” he suggested after releasing her mouth, his hand squeezing her neck.
Nan groaned and rolled over in bed, tensing against the dream forcing its way past her subconscious against her will. The last thing she needed was a nightmare-inducing memory sabotaging her much-desired sleep. She tried to think about something else, someone else to keep it at bay. Closing her eyes again, Master Dan’s face swam into her head and she warmed as she always did when she thought about her favorite Dom. But as she drifted back to sleep, the pleasure she always experienced whenever he gave her one of his pointed, heated looks changed to a shiver of cold trepidation as the past intruded with ruthless insistency and Master Gerard’s cold, dark face returned to haunt her.
“On your knees, slave,” Master Gerard barked, his sudden tight grip of Nan’s wrists and shove to the cold, concrete floor wrenching a cry from her.
Gritting her teeth, she glared up at him, wondering what she had gotten herself into. Gone was the friendly Dom she met a few days ago who had been courting her submissive surrender with experienced, body humming enticements; now replaced by a ruthless son-of-a-bitch whose current expression gave her the willies.
“I’m no man’s slave and never agreed to that role. Let. Me. Go.”
Before she could fathom his intention, he swung his free hand and backhanded her, his hold tightening, keeping her from toppling back. Pain exploded across her face and blood filled her mouth as shock rendered her speechless for several breathless moments.
Oh, God, she groaned in silent, escalating fear, what have I gotten myself into?
Nan jerked awake, her heart pounding hard enough to burst through her chest as she blinked against the bright swath of sunlight streaming through the open shades and covering her bed. The warmth helped push back the cold terror still shaking her insides, but she despaired of anything helping her enough to overcome the worst mistake she’d ever made.
Chapter 4
“God, yes,” Nan muttered as she glanced at the text Tamara sent her, asking if she wanted to go riding after she closed today. After her sleepless night and the long afternoon of serving and socializing with her customers, she was more than ready for fresh air and the joy of an invigorating, mind-clearing run with her best friend. Her favorite activity since childhood, she’d missed horseback riding this past year, the euphoric rush of a powerful animal’s muscles straining under her as they flew across the wide-open prairie grasslands brightened with summer foliage, the afternoon sun beating down on her back. She’d been so cold for so long despite spending the winter in New Orleans’ balmy temperatures instead of the harsher, frigid Montana months.
Sending an affirmative reply, she finished wiping down the counter as she scanned the few remaining customers still lingering. It had been the right move adding gourmet coffees to the menu, as the line forming an hour before her regular opening time proved. Stumbling downstairs this morning, praying she’d masked the dark circles under her eyes well enough, the smiling, eager faces waiting to come in had heartened her. At least she wasn’t a failure in everything, she thought, switching off the kettles and waving goodbye to the last people leaving. Only when it came to regaining enough confidence to let go, like she used to, at the club. Every time she took a step, her silk panties glided over the newly exposed, sensitive flesh of her labia, a constant reminder how she’d failed the first step toward getting her life back in order, each nerve tingling caress a taunt about her cowardice.
“Don’t get discouraged,” Jay told her when he’d skyped this morning and zeroed in on her distraught, tired features. “It was your first time back. Cut yourself some slack and don’t push it.”
Like everything else since her ordeal, that was easier said than done, and patience wasn’t her strong suit when it came to wallowing in self-pity. Her brother’s unconditional support meant the world to her, but, damn it, physically she was more than ready to pick up the satisfying sex life she’d enjoyed before Gerard stripped her of the pleasure she used to reap from pain. If only her head would get on board with her body, then life could return to normal.
An hour later, Nan pulled onto the Barton property and parked in front of the ranch home where Tamara’s stepmother now resided with her soon-to-be husband and their foreman, Jason. Sliding out of her car, a high-pitched neigh drew her attention to the stables. Tethered at the rail fencing in a small, attached corral, Tamara’s Arabian stallion, Galahad tossed his gray/white head and long mane. Standing next to him, saddled and ready to go, stood Lady, a pretty dappled mare appearing just as eager for a run.
Nan headed their way, waving as Tamara came out of the stables. “Thanks for the invitation.” Reaching the horses, she ran a hand down Lady’s sleek neck. “Aren’t you a pretty girl?” she crooned. “She doesn’t act as timid as the last time I saw her.”
“I’ve b
een working with her, and Galahad’s enthusiastic acceptance has helped. I think he’s going to be a daddy next year.” Excitement shone in Tamara’s eyes as she pushed to her toes and looked at Nan over the backs of both horses. “And Connor and I are trying our best to beat her to it.”
Nan’s small grin split into a wide smile. “No shit? You two are wasting no time making up for lost time.” Connor’s resistance to change their relationship from friends to lovers had driven everyone crazy.
Tamara swung up into the saddle, lifting a slim brow as Nan followed suit and settled on top of Lady. “We’re coming up on our first anniversary already, remember?”
“Is that your not-so-subtle way of reminding me how long I stayed away?”
“Yes. We can talk about that or your sudden dizzy spell last night.” Nudging Galahad into a slow walk, she glanced over as Nan steered Lady alongside her. “Or why you look so wiped out today, as if you haven’t slept.”
Nan lightly poked Lady’s sides with her heels, prodding her into a trot as they reached the field. “Or,” she tossed over her shoulder, “we can just enjoy the afternoon in silence.”
The faster gait whipped her hair around her face, snapping the dark brown strands against her neck and cheeks. She’d always kept her hair short, liking the extra burn against her scalp that came from a Dom needing a firmer grip to hold on that wasn’t necessary with longer hair. That small pleasure was just another thing Gerard had stolen from her when he dragged her across the cement floor by her short hair, drawing blood as he pulled it out by the roots. With a shudder of queasy remembrance, she leaned over Lady’s neck and kicked her into a ground-covering run.
The sun beat down on her back, the warmth pushing back the ever-present cold as they raced across the field. She laughed as Tamara pulled ahead of her with a taunting grin, the little mare no match for her friend’s stallion. But Nan didn’t care. It was enough to bask in the freedom of traversing the wide-open range dotted with grazing cattle, the prairie grasses brightened with a smattering of pink bitterroot and yellow coneflower summer blossoms. By the time they reached the fence line separating the Barton ranch from the Dunbar’s, they were laughing with the exuberance of silly teens, their chests heaving from the physical effort it had taken to keep their seats during such a rigorous ride.
“No fair,” Nan panted, pulling up on the reins to slow Lady down as they approached Tamara at the fence. “If you’d paired me with a horse comparable in size and stamina, I would have had a shot at beating you.”
Tamara shrugged and leaned down to pat Galahad’s neck. “He doesn’t like being far away from his girl, so suck it up.” The rapid pounding of clomping hooves drew both their gazes over the fence at the approaching riders and Tamara’s smile stretched even wider.
“Shit, girlfriend,” Nan drawled with a shake of her head, “can’t he let you out of his sight for more than an hour?”
“Nope, and I love it.” Tamara laughed as Nan rolled her eyes. “Someday you’ll see why.”
“Why what?” Connor asked, pulling to a stop and tipping his hat back to level a hot, blue-eyed look on his wife.
Dan rode up beside him as Tamara replied, “Why I like being your girl.”
Connor grinned. “This commitment stuff does come with some perks, doesn’t it, sweetie?”
Nan glanced at Dan, the sudden tenseness that gripped her when she’d seen him riding up easing as he winked and the corner of his mouth kicked up in a wry grin. “Not as many as staying footloose and fancy free, right, Nan?”
“That’s always been my intention.”
The last crumbs of the sleepless night and tiring day fell away as he greeted her with the usual congeniality the two of them had always reverted to when not at the club. After he’d shown his displeasure over her months of silence and his suspicion of her odd behavior last night, she wondered how he’d react when he saw her again. She knew her friends questioned how she could maintain a casual friendship with a man she regularly submitted her sexual needs to but switching back and forth between the roles of Dom/sub and good friends had always been easy for the two of them.
That didn’t keep Nan from admiring how his lean, muscled body looked astride his large, gorgeous Appaloosa or responding to the noticeable tightening of his thighs gripping the animal’s heaving sides and the dark slash of his gaze from under the sexy brim of his lowered Stetson. Her girly parts certainly sat up and took notice, the pucker of her nipples accompanying the quick spasm clutching her pussy. That welcome response offered her hope the lapse into the past she suffered last night wouldn’t return the next time. To play it safe, though, maybe she should take up with another Dom, one who didn’t know her as well, or who wasn’t as astute as her friend and occasional Master.
“Have you finished your rounds?” Tamara asked.
“Yep, and Sydney instructed us to fetch you for dinner. She made a lasagna big enough to feed an army and Caden said if we don’t get our asses over there soon, he wouldn’t wait any longer to dive into the homemade Italian bread he’s had to smell all afternoon.” Connor turned his horse, saying over his shoulder, “You, too, Nan.”
Dan gave her a direct, pointed look as he reached down to unlatch the gate. “No use arguing. I know Tamara can clear the fence, but you’d better play it safe with our expectant momma and come through this way.”
Nan steered Lady through the gate, wondering at the way Dan switched to his stern Dom voice when he’d said not to argue. Was he just assuring she would join them, or sending her another message she was missing? Yeah, she definitely needed to return to the club and find another partner to aid her in getting back into the swing of things. Ignoring the twinge in her chest at that decision, she followed them to Caden and Sydney’s place.
Dan didn’t care for the wan, strained fatigue tightening Nan’s face, or the suspicious worry that still lingered today over her odd behavior last night. Outwardly, she acted with the same flirty friendliness he enjoyed as much as her sexual submissiveness. But another sudden uncharacteristic urge to go all Dom on her even though they weren’t at the club, returned even stronger than at the diner. As they rode toward Caden’s sprawling ranch house, all he could think about was hauling her off that mare and demanding answers to the building perplexities surrounding her long, unexplained absence and the changes in her behavior.
“God, I think I can smell that bread out here,” Nan groaned as she dismounted at the barn and tethered Lady to the rail.
“Let’s hope there’s some left.” Connor snatched Tamara’s hand as soon as she secured Galahad. “Come on. I’m starving.”
Dan slung his arm around Nan’s shoulders, a casual gesture he’d done a thousand times over the last few years. But, instead of leaning against him with the natural ease he was used to, she walked alongside him with a wary stiffness that cut him to the quick. Frowning, he nudged his hat back and gazed down at her as they crossed the wide green lawn separating the house from the barns.
“I do something to piss you off, hon?” he asked bluntly.
“What?” Her startled eyes swung up and then away before he could read anything behind the look. “No, of course not. It’s just been more tiring getting my shop back open, and the apartment aired out than I expected. I’m worn out.”
“Maybe you’re trying to do too much too fast.” And maybe there’s something you’re not telling anyone. He didn’t like that possibility. “You never could take things slow.” Testing her, he tightened his arm and added, “Except when you’re naked and restrained. You always like things to go slow then.”
She didn’t rise to the bait, not like she would have before her trip, with teasing, sex-laced innuendos. “It’s been awhile, so I guess I’ll have to see if that’s still true.” Pulling away from him as they reached the wraparound porch, she kept her face averted as Connor held open the door with a look of curiosity toward Dan.
Shrugging, Dan said under his breath, “Don’t ask me. I don’t have a clue what’s going
on with her.”
Dan’s stomach rumbled, revealing his appreciation of the enticing aromas greeting them as soon as they entered the house, but as they congregated around the large dining table, it bothered him when Nan took a seat on the opposite side instead of next to him. Whenever they’d socialized with these friends, and others before, they’d always been comfortable pairing up. Every time she exhibited another inconsistency in behavior from the woman he used to know, he grew more suspicious about what happened during her time away.
“So, is this a special occasion?” Nan asked, scooping a large helping of piping hot lasagna onto her plate before passing the dish to Tamara. “Or is this feast an impromptu meal we happened to be around to be invited to?”
“You were in the right place at the right time, but I say we celebrate your return,” Sydney said. “I even baked one of your favorite desserts.”
Nan grinned, and Dan was delighted to see the spark in her eyes and that her healthy appetite remained the same. “Boston cream pie? I’ve always preferred our wine and pizza on girl’s night out, but cake rules every time, and this lasagna is great. Damn, girlfriend, you can cook.”
“True.” Tamara bit into a slice of buttery bread, moaning as she chewed. “I don’t care why we’re here so long as I can have more of that bread. You’ve outdone yourself, Sydney.”
Glancing at Caden and Connor, Dan noticed the brothers enjoyed listening to the girls banter back and forth as much as he. He knew Nan and Tamara’s friendship went back to their early teens, and that they’d welcomed both Sydney and Avery without reservation, much like everyone did him when he’d chosen to open a practice in Willow Springs. He could never regret settling on the small spread and practicing law part-time so he could also work the ranch. The physical labor helped ease the often boring and occasional frustration of litigation. He did a lot of contract work for businesses and ranchers, as well as the standard bread and butter paperwork of drawing up wills and estate planning. Representing military personnel kept his negotiating skills honed. It was never easy pleading for an early release in front of the brass.