by BJ Wane
By the time they finished the dessert and were stepping back outside, the lowered sun had painted the eastern horizon a scarlet-streaked amber glow. As they mounted their horses, Dan turned to Nan, admiring the ease with which she swung her long, slender legs over the saddle and the enticing view of her ass in snug denim. He relished many fond memories of her draped across his lap, her bare butt his to do with as he pleased. The way she would embrace each swat, lift and beg for more until she writhed against his thighs in orgasm made those scenes both memorable and special. His hand itched to connect with those soft, plump cheeks again, his need to see and hear her moans of pain induced pleasure getting stronger with each guarded look he caught on her face whenever she glanced his way.
“Did you drive to the Barton’s or did Tamara pick you up?” he asked her before the two of them took off.
“I drove. Why?”
“I was going to offer to give you a lift back to your apartment from my place after showing you our new foal.” Fuck but he hated the way she kept averting her face whenever he suggested something that involved getting close with him.
“Thanks, but I need to get back. Can I take a rain check?”
He saw the moment she realized that was the second time she asked him for a rain check, something he wasn’t above reminding her of regardless of Connor and Tamara standing right there with them. “Sure. I’ll add it to the one I gave you last night. Now you owe me a visit to my ranch and a scene at The Barn.” He turned and spoke to Connor before she could say anything. “I’ll get those sale contracts written up tomorrow and out to you by lunch. Will that work?”
“Yeah, that’ll be perfect. Greg and Devin won’t be out until mid-afternoon. See you then. I’ll come pick you up, Tam,” Connor told her. Even though she’d moved into Connor’s house a few miles from his brother’s, Dan knew she still stabled her horses at her place.
“We’ll be back there in about fifteen minutes. Come on, Nan. I’ll race you.”
Without glancing at Dan or acknowledging his last statement, Nan pulled on Lady’s reins and took off after her friend with a wave back. Connor shook his head, a rueful grin tugging at his lips. “My girl loves to race, and win, even if she has to cheat to do so.” Looking at Dan, he grew serious. “Our Nan just isn’t herself, is she?”
“No,” Dan agreed as they set out. “I wish she’d tell us, or the girls what really went down in New Orleans.”
“You could always call her brother and ask him,” Connor suggested.
He shook his head, not ready to go behind her back just yet. “Let’s give her time. Could be a personal matter that’s none of our business and not worth alienating her friendship by prying into it.”
“You don’t think so, though.”
“No,” Dan sighed, “I don’t think so.”
Twenty minutes later, Dan trotted Tank into his stable just as the sky turned pearl gray. The Appaloosa whinnied, happy to be home because that meant a fresh scoop of oats to snack on as he rubbed him down. Hopping off the stallion that had been his first livestock purchase for the ranch, he loosened the underbelly saddle strap, eager himself to turn in. He slid the saddle off and was reaching for the brush as the back door opened and Pete, one of his new hires and the most troubled, walked in.
“What’s up, Sergeant?” The thirty-year-old vet had been rising up the ranks at a steady pace until he’d witnessed half his platoon’s deaths in a surprise attack while stationed in Afghanistan. Not even drugs could dull his nightmares, as he’d discovered when they led to his incarceration. His lined face and haunted eyes revealed the toll of what he’d lived through and the ravages of his addiction.
“I saw you come in. Need any help?” Pete walked over, stroked the young filly’s nose with a fond smile then picked up another brush and started grooming Tank on the other side of Dan.
“Thanks. Tank here will be in hog heaven with the dual attention, but you’re off the clock. Wouldn’t you rather be relaxing?” He felt he had to ask, even though Dan knew the younger, troubled man preferred keeping busy right up until exhaustion forced him to his bed in the small bunkhouse he shared with Morales and his foreman, Bernie. His other two hands drove over each day from Billings.
“Nah, I’m good, boss. Besides, Bernie and Morales are going on hour two of a chess game and I can only stand to sit and watch them or TV for so long. The little one is gettin’ prettier every day, isn’t she?”
Pete’s wistful tone tugged at Dan, as did the way his hands weren’t quite steady as he brushed along Tank’s white and dark brown speckled flanks. He’d been working on the ranch now for six months, and in that time, Dan had caught him smoking pot twice. The lapses had come early after his release, as he’d still been acclimating to civilian life and freedom. Only one hired parolee had tested Dan’s three strikes and you’re out rule when Stan had jumped right back into cocaine use within a month of his release. He was hoping Pete wouldn’t be his second failure as he was fond of the guy who didn’t care for people but held a soft spot for all animals, including the wildlife that came wandering around.
“Yeah, she is. What did you do with the orphaned rabbits?” Pete found the small nest behind the barn yesterday, and what remained of the mother a few yards away.
“Bernie gave me some old lumber and helped me build a safe pen for them. As soon as they get bigger, I’ll turn them loose.” A rare smile creased his lean cheeks. “Caught Morales trying to hand feed them some lettuce. You should have seen how red he got.”
Dan’s other new hand was a big, tough ex-marine who talked and laughed loud and hated being alone, Pete’s exact opposite and yet the two had hit it off from the start. “Next time, get a picture.” Setting aside the brush, he opened Tank’s stall and filled the feeder with oats. “Thanks for your help. I’ve got paperwork to do this evening. You going to be okay?” he asked, confident Pete knew exactly what he wanted to know.
“Yeah, I’m good, boss. I promise. Sometimes…” He hesitated and looked away. “Sometimes it’s hard to close my eyes when I know what I’ll see. It helps if I can wait until I’m too tired to dream, ya know?”
“I hear you.” Shutting the stall gate, he slapped Pete on the back. “You’ve got me now, though, and Bernie. Do you want to set up an early appointment with Dr. Sorensen?” One of his requirements for giving these guys a job and a second chance was they had to agree to regular sessions with the psychologist in Billings, who also happened to be a veteran and a good friend of Dan’s.
“Already did for tomorrow afternoon. I guess I’ll go see if those two are still at it. Thanks, boss.”
“Goodnight, Pete.”
Nan brushed her clammy hands down the silky, thigh-skimming cream sheath she’d chosen to wear to the club tonight. Friday rolled around way too fast for her peace of mind, the busy days and the fun of catching up with patrons and friends doing little to calm the jitters every time she thought of allowing someone to restrain her again. Then there was the nausea she experienced whenever she tried to conjure up the excitement she used to feel at turning herself over to a Dom’s complete control. Standing in indecision, looking into her mirror, she wondered if she should wait and put off going again until tomorrow night. She hadn’t been this nervous last week, her first time back. But then, that was before experiencing that humiliating flashback, and the uncertainty and trepidation it stirred up.
A surge of anger forced her shoulders back, the move thrusting her braless breasts out and shifting the soft material over her nipples. “Fuck that.” Fisting her hands on her hips, she stomped one bare foot and glared at herself. “Get a grip and get over it already. I. Will. Not. Let that bastard win.” There. She nodded, feeling a touch more confident after repeating the line she’d first heard from Jay. Damn, she missed her brother, the way he knew when she needed pampering and when it was time to give her a stern, rebuking lecture. He was a lot like Master Dan that way.
Nope, not going there. As much as she cared for Dan, and maybe because
she did, she wouldn’t seek him out tonight. She wanted over this hurdle, needed to get herself back to where she was before she made that monumental mistake in New Orleans, and she wanted to get there without revealing that mistake to anyone. She wouldn’t be able to accomplish that goal if she submitted to her favorite Master tonight. Her shoulders slumped as she contemplated how she could pull that off considering the two thin white scars marring her smooth back, physical proof of the abuse Gerard had heaped upon her.
Turning away from the mirror, she snatched up a light, summer cover, slipped on her sandals and padded to the door before she talked herself out of going. Depending on the apparatus she, or the Dom she hooked up with selected, she would either leave the thin dress on or strip. Back facing him, on; back hidden, off. A simple solution, she told herself as she flipped on both the kitchen and living area lights before locking the door behind her.
Chapter 5
The same pulsating energy that greeted Nan last week sent a thrill through her as she entered the playroom of The Barn. She was early, as the small gathering attested to, but that worked in her favor, at least this time around. There was a time when she’d basked in the pleasure of baring herself in front of a large crowd, confident and unabashed in her nudity. She ached to do so again, craved that freedom with every fiber of her being. As she padded across the gleaming, hardwood floor and a few appreciative male eyes landed on her swaying, unfettered breasts, she experienced a familiar ripple of pleasure, which helped boost her self-esteem as she slid onto a bar stool next to Avery.
“Hi. Did I beat Sydney and Tamara tonight?”
Avery smiled. “Hey, Nan. Yeah, but they’ll be here soon. Sorry I didn’t make it for our weekly afternoon tea. I got tied up in Billings at the office.”
“You’re working too much,” Grayson insisted as he strode over from behind the bar. “Between the diner and your IT work, you’re wearing yourself out, and I don’t like it.”
Avery sighed. “I told you, Grayson… ouch!” She reached up and rubbed her chin where her husband pinched her. “Master Grayson,” she grumbled with a glare when he lifted a brow and waited for her correction. “With the extra tourism Willow Springs has been getting from the new dude ranch, Gertie needs my help. I’ll cut back when things slow down.”
“She should hire extra help,” Nan put in. “I’ve been swamped also, but my menu is small, and easy compared to hers. But I have to admit, I don’t mind profiting from Greg and Devin’s business.”
The two men they were discussing entered just then, their striking dual presence drawing more eyes than hers. Tall and muscled, the ex-FBI agents exuded enough dominance in just their riveted gazes and confident strides to dampen the panties of any sub who was lucky enough to catch their interest. Like every other man in ranch country, they wore snug denim and boots and Nan guessed they’d left their Stetsons in the foyer closet. Even Dan wore jeans and boots daily, only when he was in lawyer mode, he dressed them up with a casual sport coat.
No, not going there! She needed to be thinking about and considering any Dom to hook up with other than the one who could read her every move and decipher every expression. Or, in Masters Greg and Devin’s case, two men. They had been new members before she left, and she didn’t know them well since she’d only enjoyed one scene with the duo that did not include sex. It had been her first and only ménage, and as they headed toward the bar, a stirring of expectation rippled down her spine, sending a wave of relief through her.
“Why are you glaring at us, Sheriff?” Devin asked, cocking his head as he stood next to Nan’s stool. The tight stretch of his black tee shirt emphasized the thick bulge of his shoulders and upper arms and the dark blue of his midnight eyes.
“I’m blaming you two for my wife’s harried schedule. Gertie’s got her working extra hours due to the visitors you keep sending to town.”
Greg laughed, his moss green eyes twinkling as he held up both hands, as if to ward him off. “Hey, don’t shoot at the hands that are feeding you. It’s not our fault we’re as good at running a new business as we are at making the subs here happy.” His bright gaze swiveled toward Nan as he shifted behind her stool. “Speaking of which, it’s good to see you again, Nan. We didn’t get a chance to welcome you back last week.”
At the reminder of her hasty exit, she looked away from both his and Devin’s scrutinizing looks. The way the two of them closed her in by standing so close, leaving her no way to move out of their reach unless she shoved one of them or Avery aside, sent a frisson of unease skating under her skin. Refusing to give in to it, she forced a confident smile as she turned to face them again.
“It’s great to be back. I’ve missed everyone. I’ve heard praises for your dude ranch all week. Congratulations.”
“Thank you.”
Devin squeezed her shoulder, the heat of his palm and strength of his grip warming her, as did the way his midnight eyes lowered to her breasts. Why the hell couldn’t her head get on board with her body?
“What can I get everyone?” Grayson asked before telling Avery, “Hold off on your second drink, sugar. I have plans for you as soon as Connor arrives and takes over here.”
Avery flushed, but her nipples went to turgid pinpoints under her satin tee and a spark of excitement lit her eyes behind the dark frames. “Yes, Sir,” she returned without hesitation.
“I’ll have a light beer.” Nan stuck with a milder brew rather than going with hard liquor as that tended to hit her much harder and faster. She needed a nerve boost before taking advantage of the interest Masters Devin and Greg were exhibiting, but nothing that would dull her senses. Between the way the close confines of their bodies rattled her and her body’s happy response to Greg’s simple touch, she would need all her wits about her to go through with a scene with the two of them, even if it was mild compared to what she was used to.
“We need a girl’s night,” Avery told Nan as the guys started talking about plans to expand the dude ranch already.
Clasping the cold bottle, Nan took a long drink before replying, “I’m in whenever you can get the time. All of my evenings are free but I don’t know about Sydney and Tamara. Speaking of getting together, Alice posted a flyer on a book fair this Sunday. Can you get away long enough to check it out with me?”
“I’ll make time,” Avery answered with a nod.
They talked books while she sipped her beer, the conversation distracting her from the two men’s crowding until Devin trailed his calloused fingers over her arm as Greg cupped her shoulders and drew her back against him. Gulping down the last swallow, she relished the small spark of arousal their dual touch ignited. It offered her a surge of hope and confidence as Devin dipped his head and whispered in her ear.
“Care to join us upstairs?”
A shudder of longing coursed through her, boosting the hum of arousal enough to defy the fraction of doubt still clouding her head. Calling on her steadfast determination to get her life back, she ignored the nervous flutters in her stomach and accepted their invitation. “Why yes, Sir, I would like that.”
His low chuckle reverberated down her spine. “Excellent.”
In a coordinated move that smacked of experience, they each clasped a hand and drew her to her feet, keeping her between them with snug grips. “Excuse us,” Greg told Grayson and Avery.
“Catch you later, Avery,” Nan tossed back as the two men wasted no time prodding her toward the stairs. I’ve gone up these stairs countless times, she lectured herself as her heartbeat picked up speed with each step up she took. The heat of their bodies in front and behind her helped keep the ever-present coldness pushed to the back burner as they reached the loft and the telltale sounds of BDSM play taking place resonated around the upper level.
Good memories of being bound on the St. Andrew Cross Sue Ellen now occupied popped into her head as they walked past several other apparatus already in use. Despite the dimmer lighting upstairs, she could still see the pink stripes adorning Leslie’s pe
rspiration-slick breasts and thighs and the glow shining on her face from her bound position on the wooden A-frame. The pleasure she reaped from the switch her Dom was applying was obvious from her writhing acceptance and glistening labia.
It was so easy for Nan to remember the pain induced heightened arousal she once embraced from the switch as well as other implements, but as Devin and Greg halted at a chain station and reached for the narrow straps of her sheath, panic clawed its way into her throat. She couldn’t risk exposing her scars, not yet. She had hurdles to overcome before that could happen.
“No,” she croaked, startling both Doms. “I mean, I’d rather leave it on for now. I’m sorry. It’s…” Floundering for an excuse, she settled on a partial truth. “It’s been awhile.”
Master Greg raised a skeptical brow but nodded along with his partner. Lifting her arms up to the dangling cuffs, he surprised her with his memory of the one time they scened together over a year ago. “Do you still use panda as your safeword?”
She nodded, pleased with their recall. The collection of pandas she’d been amassing since childhood made it easy to remember. “Yes, I do.”
“And are you good with me removing this?” Devin slid a hand under her short dress and snapped the thin strap of her thong against her hip.
That small pain ricocheted down to her pussy, causing Nan to jerk her pelvis forward in an automatic response of acceptance that drew her smile. “Yes, Sir, that can go.” She was pleased with her progress as he stripped the underwear down her legs and she kicked them aside but froze in immediate indecision as they bent to restrain her ankles two feet apart on a spreader bar, the move triggering an unwanted memory.