Grace Lost

by M. Lauryl Lewis

CHAPTER 1

   

  It had been six weeks and five days since the dead had risen and our world had changed to one of horror and brutality.  Five us of remained at the cabin beside Lake Arrow.  The cold season had arrived early here in the mountains.  Our days were spent fishing the lake and hunting for small game using traps.  We stayed inside after dark.  Episodes of zombies in the woods were sporadic, to our relief, which we all hoped was a sign that the large horde of living dead that was hunting the nearby highway had moved on.  We hadn’t made any more scavenging trips by car since the roads were covered in ice and snow.  Life was proving difficult. 

  My love for Boggs continued to grow with each passing day.  Emilie and Gus seemed like a perfect couple.  Susan had softened since I first met her, and so far was respecting my relationship with Boggs.  My morning sickness continued, both day and night.  Gus had calculated that I was about six weeks along, although I hadn’t recalled the exact date of my last period.  He said being off by a few days shouldn’t be a big issue.  Everyone in the group tried to ease my fears about bringing a new life into this Godforsaken world.  I did my best to not think about the situation.  Boggs and Emilie both pushed me to eat although my appetite was poor.  Gus made sure I took a daily multivitamin that had traveled with us all the way from Boggs’ house in Silvana.  I found it impossible to sleep some nights, and impossible to stay awake some days.  Going fishing at the lake with Boggs was one of my favorite activities. 

   

  Nights seemed long and sleeping late was always tempting.  I’m not sure what caused me to climb out of bed so early in the morning.  By the time my feet hit the cold floor in our bedroom, I knew something was wrong.  The air seemed heavy.  It was perhaps only a split second before I began choking on the smoke that was collecting at the peak of our sloped ceiling.  We were in the habit of leaving the doors to our rooms open at night in case we needed the others in a hurry.  It seemed safest, and had become comfortable.

  “Boggs!” I shouted.  “Boggs!”

  The urgency in my voice immediately woke the man with whom I shared a bed.  He sat bolt upright.

  “Emilie! Gus!  Fire!”  I screamed.  “Susan!  Oh my God!” I shouted.  I flew out of bed, nearly tripping on the blankets.

  “Zoe!” shouted Boggs as he tumbled out of the bed.  “Stay with me!”

  “Emilie!” I heard Gus yell from across the hall.

  The next moments were filled with chaos and confusion as we all began to gather in the smoke-filled hallway.  The smell of soot was becoming sickening.  I could feel heat coming from the floor below our feet.

              “It’s downstairs,” said Boggs between coughs.

              Susan was grabbing onto Boggs, who clung to me.

              “We have to get out, now,” said Gus in his usual tone of authority.  “It’s no good trying to go down the stairs.  Into Susan’s room, quick!”

              Voices became mixed in a panic as we all fumbled through the heavy smoke toward Susan’s room.  It became so incredibly difficult to breathe. 

  “On the ground!” said Boggs.  “The air will be clearer on the ground!”

  I felt my best friend and lover pull on my arm until I was on my knees.  “Zoe, go with Susan and Emilie.  I’ll be right behind you,” he said to me.

  I heard glass breaking from downstairs.  It sounded as if the fire was alive and ravenous.  The smell of burning fabric and plastic stung my nose and my lungs felt as if they too were on fire.

  “Boggs, we need to get the guns,” choked out Gus.

  One of the girls pulled me forward.  I wasn’t sure which one.  Our crawl to Susan’s room was a flurry of confusion in the dark.  I reached back several times hoping to feel Boggs or Gus, but didn’t.  The sound of metal bending under the pressure of the heat downstairs deafened us for a moment. 

  “We have to get out,” cried Susan.  “We have to get out!”

  “The window,” said Emilie, barely able to speak.

  I had no idea where the window was.  I wasn’t even confident that we were in Susan’s room.  My orientation was thoroughly mixed up from the smoky haze.  I began to panic as my thoughts shifted from Boggs being missing from my side to the baby growing inside of me.  My instinct to escape went into overdrive and I somehow crawled to a wall, hoping it would be the one that housed the window.  I started to stand to feel for the glass with my hands when I heard someone shout “Where’s Zoe?”  My arm was grabbed and I was pulled sideways.  More than anything, I needed to breathe. The next moments were a blur.  I was hoisted to the window and arms were there to pull me through.  The cold air that hit my face was refreshing.  I fought to catch my breath, but smoke continued to twist its way deep into my lungs.  I could see orange flames lapping at the far end of the roof, almost like the Devil’s fingers caressing a prized pet.  The heat was searing against my face.  The fire growled with anger as if taunting us.

  “Get them down, Boggs!” shouted Gus loudly.  “Hurry!”

  I watched as Gus swung Emile down from the rooftop where we huddled.  I assumed Boggs was below to ease her way.   I knew this corner of the cabin was closest to the ground, and was glad that Gus had the good sense to direct us here.

  “Zoe!” yelled Gus.  “Come on Zoe, you’re next!”  He grabbed me around the waist and swung me over.  I fell into Boggs’ waiting arms and without warning was on my feet and being pulled away from the burning cabin.

  “Gus!” I yelled back.  “Gus!”

  “I’m here,” he yelled between hacking fits.  “Just keep running!”

  And run I did.  As fast as my stinging lungs and bare feet would allow.  Boggs kept hold of my hand and before long we joined Susan and Emilie.  Both girls were collapsed on the ground.  Susan was crying, creating streaks of tears and soot.  Gus was right behind us and pulled Em to her feet.

  “We need to get farther away!  Fast!” Gus shouted.  “Go!”

  Boggs reached a hand out for Susan, who took it and stood.  The step van was too close to the inferno for us to even attempt to get to it.  The flames were consuming the exterior walls of our cabin and I could see the windshield had shattered from the heat.  Its tires were melted.

  We ran to the tree line, but could still feel the heat from the fire chasing us.  Without warning the cabin exploded behind us.  While it didn’t knock us over, I could feel my legs give out, causing me to stumble.  Boggs held me upright.  We all turned and watched as the small cabin that had become our home continued to go up in flames.  Breathing became easier as clean air flushed our lungs.  The smell of charred wood and soot clung to us.  My eyes burned.  My nose burned.  My lungs burned.  My heart was broken.

  “What now?” I whispered. 

  No one seemed anxious to answer.

  “I need to think,” said Gus.  He had his hands laced together at the back of his head.  “Zoe, are we alone?”  I knew he wanted to know if I sensed any of the living dead nearby.

  “Ya,” I said.  “All clear.”  I began coughing again.

  “Gus, we need to move,” said Boggs. 

  “What about the Explorer?” asked Emilie. 

  “None of us have shoes on, darlin’.  It’d be a long, cold walk,” answered Gus.

  “The raft?” I asked.

  “No good,” said Boggs.  “It’s been losing air, Zo.  With five of us it’d likely sink.”

  I sighed heavily.  I was feeling hopeless.  “We can’t stay here,” I said, tears starting to fall. 

  I felt Boggs wrap an arm around me.  It was then that we saw headlights coming down the drive.  A large camouflaged military truck came to a stop well away from the burning cabin.  Thick black smoke was rising to meet the clouds above and morning light was starting to fill the sky. 

  Gus held his arms out to his sides signaling the other girls to stay behind him. 

  Three men exi
ted the vehicle and surveyed the fire.  They seemed unaware of us.

  Boggs said to me very clearly, “stay here.”  He chambered a round in his Kahr and tucked the pistol into the back waistband of his jeans, then stepped out of the tree line.  The other girls and I stayed concealed amongst the trees.

  Gus followed Boggs.  The men in the driveway took notice of them and raised their rifles.

  “Stop!” yelled one of them.

  Gus and Boggs both put their arms out, Gus holding his shotgun off to one side.  The strangers proceeded forward slowly. 

  “Stop there!” said the smallest of the three men.  He spoke in a slight accent.  I thought it might be Russian but wasn’t sure.  “Proceed no further.”

  “Who are you?” called Gus.

  “Friends,” answered the man.  “We were out scouting and saw the flames from the highway.”

  Having had enough tension, I stepped from the tree line despite Emilie’s efforts to hold me back. 

  Em and Susan joined me, although I could tell it was against their better judgment.  Emilie held my arm at the elbow.  Her grip told me she was frightened.  I could sense Susan standing just behind us.

  The shock of our home burning was beginning to set in.  I wanted to scream, cry, or somehow throw a fit.  With strangers there holding rifles, I felt compelled to not do much of anything.  No one spoke for a moment, and my ears were filled with the sound of the fire continuing to rumble.  I watched helplessly as it destroyed the remainders of the home and life we had built.

  At last one of the men facing us spoke.  “We can take you with us.”  He was slight in stature, clean-cut, and well dressed in black slacks and a black knit turtleneck.

  “To where?” asked Gus.  I could tell by his posture and his voice that he was leery. 

  “We’re running a colony not too far from here,” answered the man.  “We saw some of the dead nearby, so I’d strongly suggest you take us up on the offer.”

  “How near were they?” asked Gus, obviously not believing a word that the stranger in black had said.

  “Bastards ran off,” replied the short man.  “Some of them headed this way. We figured the dead fucks set the fire.”

  “Uh-huh,” said Gus.  “Mind lowering your weapons?”

  I didn’t understand how Gus could actually be talking to these men.  It was obvious they were lying.  Still, I trusted Gus fully. 

  Boggs had slowly backed up to be closer to me.  He now stood at my side.  “Zo,” he whispered.  I didn’t answer, but rather just listened.  “You can’t let them know about you.”

  The heat from the burning building was starting to grow uncomfortable.  “Ok,” I said under my breath.

  “Not you, and not the baby,” he added.

  “’Kay.”

  He took hold of my hand.  “Stay close to me.”

  I squeezed his hand in acknowledgment. 

  I focused back on Gus.

  The man in black signaled his two companions forward.  “Help any of them that needs help,” he said.

  “We need to leave,” said the smallest of them.  “We’ll take you to our compound.”

  Tension surrounded us.  Gus held his hand back to signal us forward.  Boggs guided me onward and I could hear Susan and Emilie walking behind us.  “Keep your cool girls,” I heard Boggs say under his breath.

  Gus spoke quietly.  “Follow my lead.  Stay together.  We have no choice, nowhere else to go.”

  One of the men had fallen in behind all of us.  Before long we were marching down the drive.  My feet had grown cold and my stomach growled. 

  “Nadine!” barked out the short man as we approached the military truck.  “We have company!”

  “Send em on back,” said the woman.  “You have a knack for picking up stray pups, Miles.”

  “Let’s go,” said the short man who we now knew was named Miles.  “I want to be back before breakfast.”

  We were ushered to the back of the vehicle, where dark green canvas covered the rear opening.  We were told to climb in.  The step up was tall, so Boggs helped boost me up.  Gus had climbed in first, so was there to receive me.  Boggs assisted Susan and Emilie before joining us.  There were bench seats on both sides of the truck bed.  The five of us sat together on one side, while two of the three men who met us at the burning cabin sat across from us.  They remained silent, and never stopped watching us.  Miles and the woman named Nadine sat in the cab, out of our view.

  Boggs held one of my hands tightly.

  “Adam?” I asked quietly.  I knew by using his first name it’d alert him in some way.

  “Hmm?”

  “Your picture of you with your parents.  It’s gone.”  I hadn’t been sure of what to say, and it’s the first thing that came to mind.

  “It’s ok, Zoe.  It’s just a picture.  It’s not important.”

  I sighed.  I wished I felt able to speak freely.  I wanted to mention that there had been none of the dead near the cabin.  That my mind had never sparked with their signatures.  I wanted to cry freely over the loss of our only home.  I looked at Boggs, meeting his eyes with my own.  I hoped he would look into them and know how scared I was.

  “Zoe.”  Hearing my name, I looked at Gus.  He was looking back intently.  “How’s your head feeling, darlin’?”

  “Fine,” I said knowing we understood each other.  “I’ll let you know if my headache comes back.”

  He answered with an almost imperceptible nod. 

  “Is she sick?” asked one of the men sitting across from us.

  Boggs looked at the man and took his time before speaking.  “No.”

  “Where are you taking us?” asked Susan. 

  The other man who sat across from us smiled at her.  I didn’t like the way he looked at her.  I didn’t like it at all.

  “You’ll like it there,” he said.

  “I liked it at our cabin just fine,” said Susan almost venomously.

  “Mind your manners, girl.  The guys in charge don’t like sassing,” said the man.

  “My name is Susan.  Not girl.” 

  “And who is in charge?” asked Gus in a calm yet commanding voice.

  “You’ll be introduced soon enough,” said the man directly across from me.

  I heard a whimper coming from deeper inside the truck.  I looked, my eyes growing used to the shadows.  Sitting on top of a folded canvas in a dark corner was a little girl.  She was thin and her clothes dirtied.  I smiled at her gently.

  “Hi,” I said.

  She shrunk back as if trying to hide.

  “We’ve been calling her Jane,” said one of the men.  “We picked her up a couple of hours before your little house fire attracted us.  She won’t talk.”

  “Picked her up from where?” asked Gus.

  “An old gas station.  She was hiding in one of the bathrooms,” answered the man who had spoken to Susan.

  “Hi darlin’,” said Gus.  “Do you want to come out and sit by us?”

  The little girl shook her head back and forth.  She looked cold.

  I looked over at the two men.  “Do you have any blankets I can take to her?”

  The more talkative of the two men shook his head no.  “We put her on the canvas hoping it’d help.”

  I squeezed Boggs hand then stood.  I walked carefully, battling the movement of the vehicle, until I was near the little girl.  I crouched down.  “Honey, is it ok if I sit by you to keep warm?”

  She looked at me with big brown eyes, obviously scared.  I crept closer.

  “I promise I won’t bite.”

  It was hard to tell with the poor lighting but I thought she might have hair even redder than Emilie's.  She was maybe six years old.  I sat a few feet away from her.  The truck bed was cold against my bottom. 

  “It’s really cold here,” I whispered.  “I bet it’s warmer on the canvas you’re sitting on.”

  She watched me car
efully.  I looked back at her.  Eventually she scooted over, slowly.  I followed her lead and scooted toward her at a snail's pace until I was on the canvas.  After several minutes she was leaning against me for warmth.  I wrapped an arm around her.

  We continued on in silence.  I took comfort from the warmth of little ‘Jane’ against me.  Time passed, although it was hard to judge just how much.  I had an ominous feeling in the pit of my stomach.