Lost at Sea

by A. E. Radley

  Caroline tucked her hair behind her ear. She decided to cut the story short, the graphic details not needed to explain the overall outcome. “The trafficking vessel capsized. There were bodies everywhere, from all sides. A number of people died. The press got hold of the story, and it spread like wildfire: ‘Royal Navy ship attempting to save people from being trafficked, actually ends up killing them in botched rescue’.”

  “But that wasn’t your fault,” Serena argued.

  “It was by the time it was investigated. The higher-ups decided that they couldn’t admit to the drunken behaviour of the other commanding officer; it would be too embarrassing for him and his wider family. They wanted to sweep that under the carpet, and what better way to do that than to pin it on one person? Me.”

  “But—” Serena looked outraged. “That… that’s so unfair.”

  “It was. I was, essentially, asked to take the fall, for a large sum of money. If I fought it, I’d never command my own ship again. They told me I could step down and consult for them, quietly, in a few years’ time.” Caroline chuckled at the memory. “I almost considered it. I was so indoctrinated into the culture I couldn’t imagine life outside it. I went to my partner to speak to her about it, but she wanted nothing to do with me. She thought that being associated with me would hurt her own prospects. I was poison at the time. Everyone wanted to be rid of me, and all the years of commendations and good conduct were wiped out because of someone else’s mistake.”

  Serena’s jaw dropped; her eyes widened. “She said that it would hurt her own prospects? I’m sorry, it’s all terrible, but for your partner to say that? That blows my mind.”

  “She was seeing someone else while I was on deployment. I later found out.” The pain was as raw in the ivy-covered courtyard as it was then. She’d thought she’d been in a loving and committed relationship; finding out that it was all a lie was soul-destroying.

  Serena shook her head and blew out a breath. “Whoa. Okay, so, I get why you left the whole situation. That sounds horrible. I am so sorry that happened.”

  Caroline casually shrugged. “It was a long time ago.”

  “Five years is nothing,” Serena said. “You don’t get over something like that in five years, trust me.”

  She sounded like she was speaking from experience, but Caroline didn’t know what experience it could be. She’d read Serena’s biography on her website and on Wikipedia but knew that such things were often heavily edited.

  “Well, time heals all wounds, right?” Caroline laughed. “I’m sure dramatic things happen in your line of work, too.”

  “Yeah, we’re often helping out with humanitarian aid,” Serena joked. “You’ve not explained how you got to be captain with Dream.”

  “Oh, that was a stroke of luck. I’d been working with a good friend designing new navigational systems for years before. That friend worked in the cruise-line industry. Evolutions in technology are always being made, and all seafaring organisations work together as it benefits us all. After my—very public—sacking, he contacted me and asked what I thought of cruise lines. I said something that was probably rather unkind.”

  Serena chuckled.

  “He told me that Dream was having a bit of a MeToo problem. A lot of men, some not very well behaved.” Caroline rolled her eyes. “As is too often the case. Anyway, they were coming under quite a lot of scrutiny from the worldwide press, so they wanted a woman, someone perfectly well qualified to be the captain of one of their flagship vessels, but also someone who was female. Someone who could take some of the PR pressure off. I had experience with the new systems being installed on Fortuna at the time. And I was unemployed. Captains usually sign up for a twelve-week term. I did that and then kept resigning up. For five years.”

  “So, you’re the token woman?” Serena asked, not unkindly.

  “I’m the token woman,” Caroline agreed. “But I’m being paid a tremendous amount of money to do the job, and I get to make changes to the organisation from the inside. Many of the men who were causing problems have been kicked out, more women have been hired. So, I may have been a temporary fix for them, but I managed to make a few more permanent changes. So, it worked out rather well. In some respects.”

  Caroline couldn’t pretend that she wasn’t extremely bitter about the turn of events. The payoff from her previous job had helped to provide for her future, but she’d had to take the fall for something she hadn’t done. Meanwhile, the actual perpetrator was now cruising even higher up in the ranks.

  “So, you are only hired for twelve weeks at a time?” Serena asked.

  “Yes, captains at my level are twelve weeks on and twelve weeks off.”

  Serena blinked. “So, what happens to Fortuna when you’re off duty? What happens to you when you’re off duty?”

  Caroline smiled. “Fortuna has two captains—well, we refer to ourselves as masters. But she has two: myself and David Gillingham. For twelve weeks, I am on board in the role of captain, and at the end of that period, David will take over. I usually spend my twelve weeks off work at home, but sometimes I’ll do some travel or even some consulting if I wish. It’s not your usual nine-to-five.”

  “No, it really isn’t,” Serena agreed. “It must take some getting used to.”

  “It did,” Caroline agreed. “Especially the off periods. When I’m at sea, on Fortuna, I’m on duty constantly. I could get a call any time of day or night. I work every day; I don’t get days off. Which is why cruise schedules work the way they do. And then there’s the time in the Caribbean.”

  Serena blinked. “What do you mean?”

  “Oh, Fortuna isn’t in Europe the entire year. It gets too cold to do this route in the winter months. There’s a rescheduling cruise in late October that takes her to Miami. From there, she will do weekly tours of the Caribbean until late March, when she’ll come back to Europe.”

  “Definitely not your average nine-to-five,” Serena agreed.

  “It must be the same for you,” Caroline pointed out.

  “Kind of,” Serena said. “So, what do you do in the winter? Do you go with Fortuna, or do you stay in Europe?”

  “Mostly I stay with the ship; there’s nothing keeping me here.” Caroline sipped at her juice and looked at the tablecloth. The nomadic lifestyle was a constant source of worry for her. How could she ever be in a relationship when she split her time between two locations thousands of miles apart? Who would be willing to live that kind of life for her?

  “You said you were a master? I’ve heard that before. What’s the difference between a master and a captain?” Serena asked.

  “Essentially they’re the same thing. Officially I’m the master of Fortuna, but the average person would refer to me as the captain.”

  The waitress returned with a pizza for Serena and a plate of penne carbonara for Caroline. It wasn’t a meal that she would ordinarily treat herself to but had thrown caution to the wind at Serena’s insistence. She mused that they really must have appeared to be classic tourists.

  They thanked the waitress and started to eat.

  “You don’t like talking about yourself, do you?” Caroline asked. Serena had studiously avoided her questions and returned the attention to Caroline at every opportunity.

  “No, I don’t,” Serena admitted. “Sometimes I find it hard to know what to say.”

  Caroline didn’t quite understand but didn’t want to push the issue. If not talking about herself made Serena happy, she could accommodate that easily enough.

  “Then we’ll just talk about the beauty of La Spezia,” Caroline suggested. “How did you find this restaurant?”

  “Complete chance,” Serena admitted, slicing her pizza into thin wedges. “I wanted somewhere off the beaten track and saw a sign. You?”

  “I’ve been here a couple of times; it was suggested to me by a member of the crew. They said the food was authentic and that it was often quiet. I do sometimes wonder if I’ll come here and find it has closed down.�
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  “Do you think we’re the lunchtime rush?”

  “I fear we might be.”

  “We’ll have to have dessert,” Serena suggested.

  Caroline smiled at the casual invitation to spend more time together. “We must,” she agreed. “Do you have plans to see the castle?”

  Serena shook her head. “I hadn’t planned on it, should I?”

  Caroline moved some pieces of pasta around the bowl with her fork. “It is beautiful, though sometimes a little crowded.”

  Serena took a bite of pizza and moaned happily. She chewed for a while before swallowing. “Best pizza ever,” she announced. “I’m not really in the mood for crowds; I might just wander around.”

  “There is a church towards the top of the hill,” Caroline suggested. “Wonderful views from up there, and the church is open to the public but nearly always empty at this time of day. I could give you directions.”

  Serena looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. “Maybe you could show me?”

  Caroline’s heart beat a little quicker. She thought back to Mara’s suggestion that she just enjoy time with Serena. Her anxiety about their difference in age was waning, as she didn’t technically know what Serena was thinking.

  Maybe the younger woman simply enjoyed her company. She thought there had been flirting, but it had been so long since she’d been in a relationship that she had no idea if she was misreading all the signals.

  “I’d like that,” Caroline admitted.

  “Good, so would I,” Serena replied. She ate another bite of pizza and looked around the small courtyard. “It really is beautiful here.”

  “It is,” Caroline agreed. “I love Italy. There are so many hidden gems like this down small passageways and over rickety old cobbled streets. I plan to retire out here.”

  Serena chuckled. “You’re a long way off from retirement, Captain West.”

  Caroline grinned. “Maybe, but my job pays well, and I fully intend to retire early.”

  “Good for you,” Serena said. “We don’t get long on this earth, and it’s important that we enjoy the time we have.”

  The words were softly spoken and didn’t feel at all like a pithy life lesson reposted a thousand times over social media. Caroline could easily sense the truth of the statement in Serena’s tone. There was a story there, though maybe not one that Serena was willing to tell yet.

  “Well, then we’ll absolutely have to have that dessert,” Caroline said, lifting the mood.

  She was rewarded by a dazzling smile.

  A Perfect Afternoon

  Annie laughed happily and freely, a simple pleasure that she couldn’t remember doing much of lately. Caroline was telling a story about a famous politician whom she steadfastly refused to identify.

  Apparently, the man had gotten so drunk that in the middle of the night, when he thought he was opening the door to his en-suite bathroom, he was actually opening the door to the public corridor.

  “So, he was just…” Annie trailed off.

  “Birthday suit,” Caroline confirmed. “He had enough of his wits to realise what he’d done, but the door had closed by then.”

  “Wow, so… what happened?”

  “He walked the corridor with nothing but an abandoned teacup to cover his modesty. Which, by all accounts, was ample. A member of his staff found him and helped him back to his room but not before the video was uploaded to Twitter by another passenger.”

  “That is priceless,” Annie said through tears.

  They’d had a wonderful meal together, and Annie had effortlessly encouraged Caroline to accompany her to the church at the top of the hill. Beside the church was a small park that offered beautiful views of the bay down below them.

  Annie couldn’t have imagined a more perfect afternoon if she’d tried. Caroline was impeccable company: attentive, funny, a great conversationalist, and a little bit of a flirt. Any feeling of rejection from the day before had completely vanished.

  Something had changed between them, both seemingly accepting the invisible force that dragged them together time and time again. The little voice that reminded Annie how stupid it was to get more involved with Caroline had been pushed to the most distant recesses of her mind.

  She was having fun. She felt safe and happy, something that she’d not felt for a very long time. Up until that very afternoon she had thought that her feeling of security had vanished forever the moment she last saw Diego.

  Spending time with Caroline, someone who really did make her feel safe, caused Annie to realise that she hadn’t felt that way for a very long time.

  Caroline’s phone rang, and she let out a groan. “I’m sorry, I have to get this.”

  “It’s okay, I understand,” Annie said.

  She looked down at Fortuna, sitting in the port of La Spezia below them. It dwarfed the ships that surrounded it but looked tiny from their vantage point. She tried to give Caroline some privacy by taking a few steps away. She was still able to hear one half of the conversation and knew that their time together was soon to be cut short.

  Not that she could complain. She hadn’t expected to spend any time with Caroline that day, and she knew Caroline was incredibly busy. She was happy to take whatever she was offered when it came to the captain’s time.

  “I’m so sorry,” Caroline said after she’d disconnected. “I have to get back to the ship.”

  Annie smiled. “It’s fine, I’ve already taken up so much of your time today. I feel a little guilty, I know you don’t get much time to yourself.”

  “I’d rather spend time with you than by myself,” Caroline quickly replied.

  Annie beamed.

  “Do you want to travel back with me? Or are you spending more time ashore?” Caroline asked.

  “I better get back to the ship,” Annie said. “We have to be back by a certain time, and the captain is a real hard ass about it.”

  “Sounds like a tyrant,” Caroline commented.

  “She is, megalomaniac,” Annie agreed.

  Caroline chuckled as they walked through the park towards the small side streets that would lead them to a main road where they could hopefully hail a taxi. Annie greedily hoped that taxis would be a little sparse so she’d get a little more private time with Caroline.

  “I like you,” Annie whispered, the words falling from her mouth without her permission.

  “I… like you, too,” Caroline said.

  Annie paused and turned to face Caroline. She closed the gap between them in one step, took Caroline’s chin in her hand, and placed a soft kiss on her lips. The impulsive move caught them both by surprise, and Annie quickly stepped back again.

  “I’m sorry, that was… I shouldn’t have done that,” she apologised. “You have to get back to the ship, and… I’m sorry.”

  She wanted to kick herself for acting so rashly. Something had taken over her, and all logical thought had faded into the background.

  “Absolutely no need to apologise,” Caroline replied, grinning widely.

  Annie blushed and looked away. At least she knew she wasn’t dreaming up the attraction between them; it was there and most definitely mutual.

  “Let’s find that taxi,” Annie suggested, walking again.

  “Do you have dinner plans?” Caroline asked.

  “I was going to ask Elvin to bring me a burger,” Annie confessed.

  “Would you like to dine with me? Unfortunately, it will include the usual suspects, including Graham Shelby. I understand completely if you don’t want to spend any extra time with him.”

  “I can easily ignore them,” Annie said. “I’d love to join you for dinner.”

  She snuck a look at Caroline’s face, happy to see that she was grinning from ear to ear like the cat that caught the canary.

  Annie slipped her hand into Caroline’s.

  There were a hundred reasons to stay away from Caroline, but not one of them could stop her right then and there.

  A Real Date

/>   Caroline stood in front of the mirror and evaluated what she saw. Her hair was thankfully behaving itself, the brown curls only just grazing her shoulders. She fidgeted with her white tie, wondering if she should have opted for black.

  Her uniform allowed for some variation, but everything was white, black, or navy. The whole ensemble was built around the ever-present white shirt. From there she could choose black or navy trousers or a skirt. Then she could choose either her navy-blue dress jacket or her white dress jacket. For very formal events she had a white, low, horseshoe waistcoat and a black jacket. Choices in tie were, of course, black or white.

  She was hardly going to win any prizes for best dressed.

  It was the first night in a long time where she had actually agonised over what to wear. She’d changed outfits three times. Now she stood looking at her reflection, wondering if the white tie, white dress jacket, and black trousers were suitable.

  She’d worn the outfit hundreds of times before but never on a night like tonight.

  Tonight she’d asked someone on a date. Something she had never done in all her time aboard Fortuna.

  Yes, she’d asked people to join her at the captain’s table, but this was different. This was a date.

  She’d surprised herself when the invitation tumbled out of her mouth. After she’d been called back to the ship, her first thought was that the following day they were in Civitavecchia and that meant she was busy for the entire day. There would be no accidental meetings in quiet little restaurants.

  Suddenly the realisation that she might be saying goodbye to Serena, possibly forever, sat in her gut like a stone. Especially after that kiss. It had been brief, almost accidental, but it had set Caroline’s pulse racing. It was unmistakeable proof that Serena had been flirting with her all along and confirmation that the attraction wasn’t one-sided.