Class Zero

by Y A Marks

  “Thanks.”

  “Well anyway, now that your romance is over, you can finally get back to work,” AJ said.

  “Romance?” I asked. Rylan shook his head over and over, and I wondered why he was doing that. It seemed like he was trying to warn me about something. My mind couldn’t comprehend what he meant so I kept talking. AJ didn’t know how I felt about Rylan. How could he know? I didn’t even know. After a second I asked, “What romance?”

  “Between you and the floor—I heard you just couldn’t stop yourself from kissing it,” AJ said.

  Frustration exploded through my body. My eyes widened. Fire ignited inside me, and I heated to a million degrees. All I needed was to touch them so they would melt into mushy, little pulps.

  I shot up, but Rylan’s hand forced me back into my chair. This must be what high school felt like, too much silliness and angst and emotion. I appreciated the fact I never went.

  “Hey, hey, hey, lay off her,” Rylan said. “She’s had a rough day.”

  “Awwwwwww,” the others said in unison.

  “Ain’t you just the most precious lil’ thing.” AJ put his head in his hands with his elbows propped on the table. He batted his eyes and gave this goofy expression like he was head over heels in love.

  Josalyn smiled and joined him in the merriment. “Rylan is just so sen-si-tive.”

  “Rylan, sensitive?” I asked.

  I don’t know what came over me. Maybe part of me wanted to shift the attention off of me, but I had to say something. I was tired of just sitting there while they picked at my emotions. I thought about something that I could say, anything that would remove the focus from me.

  The conversation Rylan and I had on the rooftop popped into my head. I remembered feeling hurt and sitting down when Rylan did the oddest thing. I mentally agreed that it would be okay to save myself.

  I glanced out at the others and scrunched up my face the best I could manage. “Sensitive? The first conversation Rylan and I had, he put his arms around me while I was trying to come up with a plan. When I ask him what he’s doing? He says…” I changed my voice to the softest, prettiest, girly sounds I could and continued, “Consoling you.”

  That shut them all up. They looked at me to continue the story as their lips trembled, waiting for a punchline.

  “I was like ‘Why?’” I hoped that would take them over the top, but I could tell they wanted more. It wasn’t enough to get them laughing.

  I snuck a look at Rylan. I couldn’t hold my stare there long because in every moment that passed, I worried more about what I should do next. His face was normal, but drops of pink spread in the middle of his cheeks.

  I took a long blink. “‘Because you’re hurting,’” I said again, as frilly as possible, trying to remember what Rylan had actually said on the rooftop. Then, in my normal tone, I replied to myself. “No, I think you’re hurting. Do you need some special attention?”

  I didn’t say anything after that. I didn’t have another joke or better punchline in me. I wasn’t used to this sort of thing. I took a sip of my drink and hoped for the best. Slowly, their mouths opened and their eyes turned to Rylan.

  “Ooooooooh,” they said, and burst out into laughter.

  Rylan didn’t deny it. Instead he grinned and put his head down in mock agony. He didn’t turn red or even get fazed. It was like embarrassment couldn’t touch him. He was at complete peace with who he was. My mind rattled, but my heart soared. I fought everyday with my insecurities and tried to bury them under logic and focus. He didn’t have to fight against his, he had accepted them and had grown strength from them. Every beautiful piece of him glowed in that moment.

  My heart sank when I thought about using him to remove the unwanted attention, but he simply grinned. I was so confused, yet comfortable. These people had a life in them I had never seen before. No one at the Stadium had such exuberance and joy seeping out of their pores like the Escerica members. For the first time, I considered becoming an official member. If they could protect Mari and Miko like the other kids in the bunker, then the arrangement could work.

  AJ stood. “Well, kiddies, it’s been fun.”

  “You headin’ up to the ship?” Rylan asked.

  “Yep, you comin’?”

  “In a bit.”

  AJ rolled his eyes before stretching his arms to the side. “No problem, make sure you bring that new gizmo you were telling me about. I want to check it out.”

  “Okay. I’ll run down before I head up.” Rylan’s head stayed low, his back slightly arched.

  AJ popped his lips, making a little beat. “Cool.” After taking a few steps, he turned back toward me. “Hey, Paeton, don’t let the old fox console you for too long. We’ve got real work to do.”

  My lips tightened into my mouth before I nodded.

  Josalyn scowled. “I hate you, AJ. Why did you remind me of work?”

  AJ’s torso bounced forward, and his arms dangled. “You’ve got it easy.”

  “Easy?”

  “All you do is spy on people.”

  “I don’t spy.” Josalyn stood. She placed a hand on her hip and glared at him. “I’m an informed voyeur with a knack for the technical.”

  Sun Hi followed their lead, yawning as she made her way to her feet.

  “Voyeur? A hacked-up peeping tom girl more like it.” AJ laughed again followed by giggles from both Sun Hi and Josalyn.

  Josalyn tightened a hand around my arm for a brief moment before releasing me. After winking, she left with the other two.

  “Good job,” Rylan whispered. “Don’t let them beat you.”

  Shrugging, I avoided eye contact. When I did gather enough nerve, we locked eyes for a brief second before I glanced away.

  It was my chance to apologize to him, but I didn’t. I was too overwhelmed with people who laughed as much as they fought. Not to mention these little shy, flirty glances he was passing were starting to paralyze me.

  That evening I was back training with Rylan. However, he didn’t let me go back to the gun range. Sun Hi had pointed out that I didn’t have the time to learn slowly. Rylan agreed, to my dismay. When I tumbled, he was quiet, but I had a bad feeling my issues with the free range were far from over.

  CHAPTER 17

  The times I fell in the simulation room continued to escalate. I was okay with my one-hundred and twenty-two falls from day one. But on day two, I reached two hundred and fifty combined. I hoped it would go unnoticed. I mean, they teased me, but I never thought AJ would show up to witness the two hundred and fiftieth milestone. By day four, the group had grown. Not only were Rylan and AJ witnessing my pain, but Sun Hi as well.

  The skin on my back and neck ignited when I saw her behind the cracked glass shield. AJ, I could take. I didn’t like him anyway, but I loved Sun Hi.

  Three of the little rods spun away into the corner, the lights flashed, and the horn sounded. I took a deep breath and pulled myself up off the floor. My body felt like it had been attacked by a thousand androids.

  I could barely move, let alone walk. Stumbling forward, I dragged my left leg behind me. I was in great shape. I walked everywhere, but I hadn’t mastered the coordination that the free range took. My lungs didn’t enjoy the quick pulses of energy. My eyes never understood when a rod or cog would shift in my peripheral vision.

  As I neared the glass to walk through the door, my stomach squeezed the last of my pride out of me. They didn’t mean any harm. They wanted me to succeed, but it was embarrassing to tumble over, and over, and over again.

  Rylan held the door open while I found a way to get through it.

  Sun Hi ran up and hugged me. “Good job, Paet.”

  “Um,” I moaned. “Why are you here?” I glared, I mean really glared with hatred burning in my eyes at Rylan. “Why do you keep telling them?”

  “I don’t. I’m not saying anything,” Rylan said.

  “Then how do they know I’m still falling on my… butt?”

  Sun Hi pul
led away only to put her hands on my cheeks as if I was ten. “Because you’re our little Paet.”

  “Sun Hi, it’s not funny.”

  She glared at me. She indeed thought it was funny and wanted me to break. They all wanted me to break. I’m sure they were tired of stuffy, loner Paeton, and my “I don’t need anybody” attitude.

  I was tired though. I was too broken up to fight over a few giggles. My bruises had bruises, which had bruises, which had even more bruises.

  I gave her my best puppy dog stare, the one with the gigantic eyes and trembling bottom lip. It was the same one that Mari gave me when she wanted something.

  I twisted my attention to AJ. His eyebrows were high—unmoved. Then I put both lips together for a more pathetic look and craned my head toward Rylan.

  “Don’t give me that face,” he said.

  Bingo. There was one softie in the group. I took a step toward him. “Why do you let them pick on me, Rylan? What did I ever do to you?”

  “Aghhhhhh.” He jumped out of the way in desperation.

  The door to the hallway groaned open. Josalyn backed in. My body sagged and I released an exasperated sigh.

  “Really… Really guys? You got Josalyn in on it, too?” I spun around toward Rylan, AJ, and Sun Hi.

  I could take a joke. Okay, five days ago I couldn’t. However, every day I was getting better at it. My friendly factor had gone from fifteen percent to a whopping thirty-two percent, but this was getting ridiculous.

  “Rylan, you told Josalyn?” I asked.

  Before he could say anything, Josalyn appeared at my side. There was a huge cake in her hands.

  It took all of my strength to keep my fury inside of my throat. It was swirling around my vocal cords ready to erupt. Every single person in this place was coming to watch me make a fool out of myself. My bumbling wasn’t an Olympic event. I wished they would leave me alone and let my embarrassment end when I walked out of the door to the range.

  “Rylan, why?” I mumbled.

  “Paeton, mon cher, don’t worry. Old Gray-Eyed Fox is a good boy, and he wants the best for you,” Josalyn said with a grin. The cake bounced in her arms. “Happy Thousandth-Day, Paeton.”

  I shuttered back. “It’s not my birthday.”

  “It’s your One-Thousandth Fall Day,” Sun Hi said.

  “What?”

  I stilled and took a step backward before glancing down at the cake. It had a red and blue trim on white icing. In the middle in cursive script was “Happy One-Thousandth Fall Day, Paeton.”

  Every emotion from anger to embarrassment to an odd sensation of happiness fought inside of me. They meant well. Maybe this was a sign of support or some other odd thing, but it wasn’t quite working inside my mind. Heat slapped my neck and chills rolled down my spine. My legs fumbled as my knees shook. The friendship was appreciated, but my loner sensibilities overwhelmed me.

  I backed away from the cake and almost fell over. My body ached so bad that I wasn’t able to get more than five feet away. Rylan grabbed my shoulders and forced me into a seat. I plopped down and a tiny table was brought over from the other side of the room. After Josalyn placed the cake on the table, she lit a candle and put it in the center.

  I thought it couldn’t get any worse, until all of them started singing. I buried my head under my battered arms. It was a horrid rendition of the “Happy Birthday Song” where each of them quickly stated “One-Thousandth Fall Day” every time “Birthday” was supposed to be sung.

  I fought to keep myself from cracking a smile. A giggle spilled out, and I covered my mouth with my hands. Despite myself, the situation was funny. It was. From the moment it started. I wanted to fight it though. I couldn’t let them win me over. I was Paeton the lone warrior, fighting daily on the streets of Atlanta.

  Sun Hi ushered me with her arms. “C’mon, Paet. Blow out the candle.”

  I shook my head in refusal.

  “We’re not leaving until you do,” Josalyn said.

  I tried my sad, most pathetic face on Rylan again. Instead of cowering, he grabbed my cheeks and spun me back around toward the cake. After a few fake whimpers, I conceded. They had won this round. I relaxed, smiled, and blew out the candle.

  All of them cheered and took pictures with their PCDs. Without thinking, I released a stream of giggles. I had been broken.

  The party lasted for another fifteen minutes before all of them resigned to head back to their duties. Rylan shut the training systems off and turned down the lights.

  “So, you headed back to your room?” I asked.

  “Nahh, I need to go help AJ with the plane. We still don’t have the navigation working like I would like.”

  “So you have to work? Even after seven hours training me?”

  “Yeah. It’s no big deal. Everybody works.”

  “But—” I didn’t know what to say. I was a burden, his burden. If he didn’t have to worry about me, he could work half the time or maybe be done with what he needed to do. “I’m sorry. Is my training getting in the way?”

  Rylan’s eyes tightened. He walked over and put a hand on my shoulder. “Paeton, no. Don’t worry. I like helping you. It’s fun.”

  “To watch me fall or to teach me?” I kept my question light, but I still wanted to know.

  He grinned. “A little of both.”

  I smacked him on his back with my hand. An agonizing jolt shot through my shoulder. “Ow.” I took a step to the side, rolling out the pain by moving my arm slightly to the right.

  “You okay?”

  I shook my head. Still smiling, he put my arm around his neck and helped me out of the room.

  Once we left the Corridor of Death, he moved to the ramps around the side so that I wouldn’t have to climb the ladders. I forced myself up the metal walkways and made it to my room. After he slid the door open, he paused.

  I held myself up on the door frame. “You can come in if you want.”

  “Nahh, I’ve got to get back to AJ.”

  My body deflated, and I had only a little energy in me left. “Oh, okay.”

  “Maybe once you’re feeling better we can do something.”

  I perked up. “Oh, that sounds cool.”

  “See you tomorrow then,” he said.

  “Okay.” I floundered into the room, and he slid the door shut behind me. After a few steps, I collapsed onto the bed.

  I thought about Rylan for a minute, his smile, his wit, the curve of his lips and the hardness of his back. I barely touched it, but it was like a brick wall wrapped in leather.

  My cheeks warmed, and I rolled over to stare at the bunk bed above me.

  “No,” I told myself. “No, no, no. Don’t do this, Paeton. Don’t be the stupid girl in the movie, be the smart one.” I closed my eyes and tightened all my muscles as though I could push his image away. My arms moved against an invisible box filled with everything Rylan. I needed to dump the box into the mental abyss.

  I had to get myself together so I could focus on Mari and Miko. My days on the range had yielded abysmal results. I wished I could say I was becoming an expert shot or something, but I was only twenty-three percent accurate when moving and a solid eighty percent when I was steady. It would have to be enough. I couldn’t wait any longer. Mari and Miko were running out of time.

  CHAPTER 18

  I couldn’t sleep. One of the two babies above me was irritated. Little sneezes echoed through the metal boxes, and I knew immediately what was wrong. The baby, however, didn’t understand, and took his anguish out by wailing at the top of his lungs.

  I’m not a light sleeper. I can be when I need to, but I can also sleep right next to a book club that wants to spend the entire night discussing the latest romantic e-series. There were too many things in my head. With the newest problem, i.e. baby screaming at top of its lungs, my mental cookie crumbled.

  While my mind was tugged in every direction possible, my heart was with Mari and Miko, every moment feeling like agony. My curiosity about Esce
rica was aflame. My hope rested with Dhyla and Sun Hi, and unfortunately my affections were out of my control.

  I sat up, slipped into my boots, and grabbed my hoodie. Once outside my room, I was greeted with the same amber lights of the day, however, only a minuscule amount of them were illuminated. The whole central area was dark. I was surprised anyone could leave their rooms and walk around in this blackness.

  Grabbing my PCD, I flicked on my flashlight app, just in case. After descending to the main floor, I strolled around listening to the few conversations coming from the rooms. A few people were outside in the main area, talking in one of the many corners. A few even played card games on some of the ramps. Despite everything, the bunker felt friendly. It made me feel like I was back in the Stadium.

  I walked toward the cafeteria. I didn’t know if it was possible to get a snack, but I needed something to do. Deep down I was kidding myself. As much as I fought it, I hoped to see Rylan. I didn’t know what I would say or why he’d be up in the middle of the night, but I just wished he was.

  He made me feel warm and comfortable. The only other people that ever did that for me were Dhyla and my mom. Sure I loved Mari and Miko more than the world, but loving them was different. They made me happy and excited for life. They got me up in the morning because I had responsibilities. Dhyla made me feel like she could help me with my problems. She let me know I wasn’t alone and that I could just be a kid sometimes.

  Rylan was different. He was a mix of their soft, plus a hardness that I didn’t understand but wanted to explore. It didn’t hurt that he was cute, witty, and fun… and well-liked… and broad-shouldered… and just tall enough that his head was over mine, but not so tall I felt like I was talking to a skyscraper. There was a heart inside of him too, a real heart—a caring heart.

  My problem was I didn’t need to like Rylan, or anyone for that matter. I wasn’t in love. Keeping my emotions in check kept me safe, and my mind focused. I witnessed girls get into all types of trouble because they couldn’t help but do what some guy, they supposedly loved, told them to. I had longings and hopes and even a few naughty desires within me just like the next girl. I wasn’t immune to being alive, but I had learned to push my romantic side away and tuck it into the same box with anything else that I deemed could result in a potential problem. If I never saw Rylan again after saving the kids, I’d live out my life fine and not fall into some deep, wallowing depression. I wasn’t that type of girl, but it didn’t mean I wasn’t a girl.