His expression was distant, not quite sad, but there was an emotion there I didn’t recognize. “Yeah, okay.” He sat down across from me, waiting. “Dannika just loves Gray.”
“Why wouldn’t she?” I cooed, staring at the stroller. “He’s perfect.”
Ben chuckled, rubbing a hand through his hair. “That’s true. We did make a pretty amazing kid.” He paused, seeming conflicted. “Hey, Palm?”
I flicked my eyes back toward him. “Yeah?”
“We’re…we’re okay, right?”
I stared at him, blinking once, twice, before I answered. He was on edge. Nervous. But I couldn’t figure out why. Was it just a guilty conscience? Had he seen my car following him? Had I been caught catching him? If so, he’d have to admit it. I wouldn’t fold. Not yet.
“Why would you ask that?” I picked up a pen from the side of my desk, clicking it slowly to keep my hands busy.
“I…I just wanted to be sure. You seemed strange this morning,” he told me. His words were slow, as if he were testing the waters of how I’d react. I gave him nothing.
I blinked, my lips forming a tight, unaffected smile. “What do you mean? I don’t think I acted strangely this morning.”
“I don’t know. I can’t explain it. I just…I get the feeling you’re…avoiding me, or something. Did I do anything wrong?” All signs pointed to a guilty conscience.
“I’m not avoiding you, Ben,” I said, my voice light and airy. “Why would you think that? Should I be avoiding you? You’re the one acting strangely now.”
He swallowed with a light, forced laugh. “No, of course not. I’m sorry. I’m being ridiculous. I just wanted to be sure. I guess I just…feel weird. I know we said we were both okay with me staying home with Gray, but I know your first day back was horrible. I’m worried about you. Worried about what you think of me. You know I can go back if that’s what you’d rather have me do. If you want to be home with him.”
I took a deep breath, clasping my hands together in front of me. “I appreciate you checking on me, but I’m honestly okay. I mean, yes, it’s hard being away from him. Yes, I’d rather be home, but we both said this was what’s best. I make more than you. I can provide us with insurance. Besides, I love what I do. I’ve worked hard to get where I am, and Dannika and I still plan to open our own firm one day. To quit now would mean giving all of that up. It’s not easy, I won’t lie, but I love that you get to be home with him.” Loved. “It feels safer than daycare, and I want you two to bond.” With each other, not random park sluts.
It was the strangest conversation, my inner thoughts fighting with everything I was telling him. As angry as I was, I felt like I needed to keep it together. I needed to know more about Ben’s indiscretions, in case I was wrong about what I’d seen, though I highly doubted that was the case. I didn’t want to be acting based on my experiences with my cheating ex. Ben wasn’t Nate. If he was cheating, I needed to know the truth and, until I did, I couldn’t react. I had to keep myself in line, even if he wasn’t. It was a fine line to walk. Dannika had told me too many horror stories about her husband, Ty’s, divorce cases. The amount of alimony paid to spouses, the way the assets were split. I didn’t want to go through a divorce, didn’t want to lose my husband or my money, if there was a way to ease my fears and prove myself wrong.
He let out a sigh, his shoulders sinking with relief. “Okay, good. I just wanted to be sure.”
He seemed lighter now, his face a pale pink and illuminated. It was as if he may float up to my ceiling if I didn’t hold him down. “Was that why you came by?”
He nodded hesitantly. “Sort of, yeah.”
“Ben, you could’ve called and asked,” I said as he stood, our visit obviously at an end.
“I know, but I really did want to see you.” Is he lying? Is he always?
I stood too, leaning into his kiss as he leaned over the desk toward me. At the last moment, I turned my head slightly, so his lips landed on the corner of my mouth. I looked at Gray. “I love you.”
Ben backed up, gripping the stroller’s handles. “We love you, too, Mama.” I stepped toward the door and pulled it open so they could pass through, running my hand over my sleeping child cautiously. They made their way toward the door, being greeted by enthusiastic waves and silent goodbyes from my coworkers, each enchanted by the beautiful baby I’d made with the best liar I knew.
If he thought he could continue to lie to me, he was in for a surprise. I’d find out the truth, and I’d use it to ruin him. I wasn’t going to be betrayed again. I’d let myself get walked all over for months before gaining the courage to walk away. I’d worked too hard to build myself up again to let another man destroy me. I’d learned my lesson with Nate. It was time for Ben to learn his.
Chapter Nine
When I made it home that afternoon, the apartment smelled of warming cheese and spices, a sure sign that Ben had a casserole in the oven.
I pushed open the front door, shocked to see them lying on the floor. Ben held Gray over his head, laughing as the baby giggled in his arms. “Hey, sweet boy,” I said, dropping to the floor next to them. Ben pursed his lips, waiting for a kiss, but I pretended not to see, turning my attention to Gray immediately. “Did you have a good day?” I took him from Ben’s arms, and he sat up, not missing a beat and resting his back against the couch. “Was he fussy any more?”
Ben shook his head. “Say ‘not at all, Mama’,” he teased. “He was the perfect angel.”
“Of course he was.” I rocked back and forth, patting his back as he bobbed against my shoulder. “He’s a little gentleman, aren’t you?” I said, moving to stand up and lifting my nose in the air. “What’s for dinner?”
“Broccoli and chicken casserole,” Ben said, pushing up from the couch and making his way into the kitchen. I could hear the oven open without turning around to see him do it. “And it looks about done. How was your day?”
I nodded, kissing Gray’s head. “Smells delicious.” When I turned around, Ben was placing a potholder on the counter. “My day was fine, nothing too exciting. They all raved over Gray after you left.”
Ben gave a crooked smile as he pulled the casserole from the oven and fanned a hand over it. I could see the cheese bubbling from where I stood.
“He was fine the rest of the afternoon. No more fussing, no more gas. I guess he just needed to see you.” He spun around, opening the fridge and pulling out a pitcher of fresh lemonade. It was my dinner drink of choice throughout my pregnancy and now that I was nursing, and Ben made sure to always have a fresh glass ready for me. He set it down. I was so conflicted, finding it hard to find the line between this man who doted on me, waited on me hand and foot while I was recovering, cried when he held our son for the first time, and the man who would throw that all away to cheat on me. Throughout our time together, Ben had been the perfect way for me to get over my disastrous end with Nate. He’d been everything Nate wasn’t. Kind, compassionate, understanding, a great listener, and, most importantly, I thought he’d been honest. We had the hard conversations up front. He knew about my past, and though he didn’t like to talk much about his own, I knew what mattered. I thought so, anyway. I thought I knew him. “You okay?” he asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
I nodded. “Sorry. I’m fine.”
He stared at me for a moment, as if waiting for me to say more, then stepped back. “Okay. That needs to sit for about fifteen minutes, so I’m going to grab a shower if you’re fine with that.”
I couldn’t tell him how okay with it I was, how much I needed him to give me space, so instead, I turned away with a small nod. He hurried down the hall and shut the bedroom, then bathroom door, and within moments I heard the shower kick on. I set my purse on the shelf near the door and carried Gray toward the couch, so thankful to have him in my arms again.
“I’m not mad at you,” I teased him. “I know you couldn’t help it.” I smiled as he did. “No, I know. I know you didn’t want to go see that horribl
e woman, did you? No, sweet boy.”
I lowered him to my lap, propping my feet on the coffee table and playing with his soft little feet. His eyes traveled the room, taking it all in with wonder. At his age, he was seeing nothing more than spots of light, but it was exciting to see the way his eyes gravitated toward them. The window, the lights above the kitchen island. I followed his gaze, feeling curious about what the world looked like from his bright, blue eyes. So much less dark than from my own, I was sure. He didn’t know the evils that existed. I prayed he’d never have to.
When my gaze landed on the coffee table, and on Ben’s phone to be exact, I froze.
He’d forgotten his phone on the coffee table.
I glanced down the hall. The shower was still running.
Could I chance going through it?
Should I?
How long did I have? Ten minutes, at least.
I reached for the black iPhone, pulling it toward me and tapping in his password. At least that hasn’t changed. I pulled up his messages first.
Palmer
Jason—his old boss
Dean—his coworker.
I clicked on the messages from Jason, looking for any form of congratulations or thank yous, but there were none. The last text was from a few months ago, when Ben had texted to say he was stuck in traffic and would be a few minutes late. It struck me as odd, though Ben had never said Jason texted him, only called, so I couldn’t be too suspicious.
I scrolled through a few others, one from a beer delivery service, one from a man we’d bought a lamp from, some from a few more coworkers wishing us congratulations after Gray’s birth. Nothing from any numbers or names I didn’t recognize. I opened the text messages from the names I recognized, checking to be sure it really was them. I knew all the tricks. My ex had made sure of that.
Nothing out of the ordinary.
I opened his calls, scrolling back to just over a week ago when I’d overheard the conversation that Ben claimed was with Jason. Friday the fifth. I scrolled up and down, shaking my head. There were no calls on that day at all, which meant either the phone call hadn’t happened, or it had and he’d deleted the true identity of the caller from his phone. The truth was obvious.
Next, I checked his Facebook and all the messages in his Messenger. Nothing. It was likely he’d deleted his contact with her. Either that, or I really had overreacted. Perhaps she was just a familiar face from his past that he ran into. Nothing more than that. Perhaps he’d accidentally deleted the call from Jason, though that really made no sense.
Down the hall, he began singing. He was conditioning. It was a telltale sign.
As a last resort, I opened the Instagram app and searched through his messages there. A few random things that looked like spam, a few brand rep companies, and one message from an account that no longer existed.
He rarely used Instagram, so I wasn’t all that surprised. I clicked on his profile, searching through his pictures for anyone who’d liked his pictures who resembled the girl, to no avail. He wasn’t all that popular there, one or two likes on his total of sixteen posts, and she wasn’t one of them. No one resembling the woman had ever liked or commented on any form of his social media. She was a ghost. I had no name, a vague recollection of her appearance, a knowledge of where she lived, though I hadn’t made a point to remember her address, and that was it.
I clicked on the search button, ready to look for the restaurant, in case she worked there. Instead, my eyes widened.
What?
The water shut off down the hall, but I wasn’t listening.
There, right at my fingertips, was her name. The last person he’d searched. KatieKat. Sunflower emoji next to her name. I clicked on her profile. The girl in the photograph looked much better than the one I’d seen today. She seemed younger and happier, with dark sunglasses, a polka dot headband, and a large, bubblegum bubble protruding from her lips.
I scrolled.
She ran a food and travel blog called KatieKatTravels, I was learning, where she traveled and blogged about the foods she tried. She was…incredibly popular, as it turned out. Each of her posts had well over a thousand comments and even more likes.
She was fun, playful, and annoyingly adorable.
Her latest post was an announcement that she was planning to try out a restaurant outside of Crestview for their grand opening. Dilly Darlings.
The bathroom door opened, causing me to jump. I cleared out of his phone right away, closing the app and tossing the phone down on the table just as he headed my way. I hadn’t been quick enough, though.
“What were you doing?” he asked with a half-laugh. I wasn’t sure what he’d seen.
“Looking through your phone.”
He swallowed. “Okay…why?” To my surprise, he didn’t seem angry.
I shrugged one shoulder nonchalantly. “Mine was in my purse, and I didn’t want to get back up. I just scrolled through Facebook.”
He nodded, not looking the least bit concerned, but he should’ve been. I knew his secrets, and I was prepared to expose them.
“Want me to grab it for you?” he asked, pointing toward my purse.
“Please.” I tried to calm the adrenaline racing through me as he turned away. He walked over, the towel around his waist, and while I normally would’ve taken in the sight of my husband in a state of undress, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t care. It all just hurt too badly. How could I appreciate his boyish charm and devilish good looks when I couldn’t get the image of him holding her, him kissing her, out of my head?
He pulled my phone from my purse and tossed it toward me. “He fell asleep?” he asked, his hands resting on his hips.
“No, he’s awake. He’s just…being calm,” I told him, looking down to Gray, who was staring into space, his little lips opening and closing. Everything was so simple for him. I was almost envious.
“You ready to eat?” he asked, heading back down the hall and toward our bedroom.
I was. I wanted to stay and eat, but I already knew I wasn’t going to. I had somewhere else to be now. My stomach was growling and I desperately didn’t want to leave Gray, but I had to know the truth. I had to. I’d been here before and brushed my suspicions away, and it had been to my own detriment. I wouldn’t do it again.
“Actually,” I said, an apology in my tone, “I’m not going to be able to have dinner with you. Howie just emailed me about a client. I’m going to have to go into the office for an hour.”
He reappeared in the hall, this time dressed, and ran his towel over his wet hair. “What? Seriously? You just got home.”
“I know,” I told him, wincing. “Trust me, I wouldn’t go if I didn’t have to. I’m starving and dinner smells delicious. But it’s a really big client. I can’t afford to let this event fall apart.”
He sighed, tossing the towel into the laundry room and heading toward me with his arms outstretched. “Do you want me to make you some dinner to go? You must be starving.”
“No, that’s all right. I won’t be able to eat it on the go, and I couldn’t eat during the meeting, anyway. I’ll be okay. Just…could you leave a plate out for me for when I get home?”
He took Gray from my arms, the all-too-familiar lump of worry reappearing in my belly. “Of course.” He leaned in, kissing my lips before I could deflect, and I kissed Gray’s head as well.
“Okay, I’ll be back soon. I shouldn’t be gone long.” I turned away from him and scooped up my purse, heading out the door before I could talk myself out of my plan.
I created a fake Instagram profile, Sarah Silver, while sitting in the street in front of the restaurant and followed Katie, turning on the alerts so I’d get notified whenever she posted.
After I was done, I climbed from the car and walked into the restaurant, pulling out my phone once I’d been seated. I pretended to stare at the screen, while in reality, my eyes searched the room, trying to determine where she might be. According to her post, she should’v
e been here. Had I missed her? Had she already come and gone? It had only been an hour since she’d made the post.
I checked back on her Instagram. There were no food pictures yet, nothing to announce that she’d actually been here.
Refresh.
Her feed now contained a new picture, a small, white plate on a red table, much like my own. She is here.
I turned in my seat, looking all around. Where was she? Why was I missing her? I stood, walking toward the bathroom. “Is everything all right, miss?” my waiter asked, stopping me.
“Yes, sorry. Everything’s fine. I’m just going to eat at the bar, if that’s all right? My date bailed.”
He nodded, his wary smile warming. “Sure, of course.”
I walked past him, past the booths of an older couple, and a much younger couple, then the table of a group of teens who looked entirely annoyed about everything in their lives.
When I rounded the corner, I stopped in my tracks. There she was. Katie. My husband’s mistress.
I stood completely frozen for a moment as I processed what was happening. She was dressed much better, her hair frizz-free and curled into beachy, shoulder-length waves. She wore high-waist shorts and a pink tube top that matched the pink ribbons attached to her shoes and running up her calves. She took a bite of the cheesecake in front of her, chewing with intention, her eyes closed.
When they opened, I moved to the side, hiding slightly behind the partition of glass and alcohol just in time for her to look my way. If she saw me, she didn’t react. Instead, she took another bite. She turned her phone around, holding the fork up parallel to her face and grinning wildly.
Within minutes, the picture was online, and I was staring at the photo—her teeth a bit whiter, her face a bit filtered. The cheesecake has been rated six out of five cherries, whatever that meant.
I groaned, trying to lean further and further around the partition so I could get a better look at her. Here, she was pretty. Here, she was more of a threat, and I could finally see what he saw in her. The realization was a gut punch, a tearing open of the wounds I fought so hard to staple closed after Nate left.
The Liar's Wife Page 5