Jase

by Fields, M. J.

“You love him?”

  “Yes,” she stopped and looked down at my fists clenching, “He lived with us, with my mother. They loved each other, I love him, and he loves me. We were a family, and he is all I have left of her. He and I loved her, and she loved us.” She began to shake, “Don’t disrespect him, and understand if it wasn’t for him I would not be staying on.”

  I shook my head yes I understood, “I’ll give you everything you need Carly, time, two thousand miles between us, or , my fucking heart. Whatever you need because I love you.”

  I opened the door and she left.

  15

  On Sunday, I received a text from Jase.

  -I hate that you are going through this alone. I can be your friend if that’s all you want I can be that for you…Jase

  -Thomas will be here soon, I’ll be fine…C

  - When you truly love someone you look into the mirror and you no longer see you and you alone. When love is that deep, that strong, you are not ever alone, even when they no longer walk with you. They are ingrained in you, not just a memory, a part of you forever….Jase

  -Thank you…C

  - I am working at the shop this week, Xavier has some things going on, if you need anything that’s where I’ll be…Jase

  -Thank you…C

  I read those texts over and over until Thomas showed up and I was glad he did. We spent the entire day unpacking boxes. His condo had been on the other side of the complex and it somehow got changed so he was right next door.

  We went through what he had brought from home, and we laughed and cried. Boy would she be miffed at us, I laughed to myself knowing she would love me and Thomas forever.

  I told Thomas all that had happened with Jase and he smiled softly, hugged me, and said, “The heart wants what the heart wants. He is not going to leave you alone Carly, so if you want me to rough him up let me know.”

  ~

  After showing Thomas around we dove into work. He laughed every time we couldn’t find something and I would call Janet. If the equipment wasn’t already here or we needed something more she filled out a form and gave us a date for when it would be delivered. After work Monday, I gave Thomas a copy of Charlotte’s file and asked that he look at it.

  We worked for twelve hours straight every day and on Friday, Janet came in at four and told us we needed to be out by five. She gave us a lame excuse and we of course accepted it.

  “He thinks you need a break,” Thomas joked as we cleaned up.

  “He shouldn’t have given me the file,” I rolled my eyes.

  We walked out of the lab and I saw a little girl walking down the hall and then I saw Pam. I looked at her and she looked up.

  Bella smiled and stopped in front of me, “Are you Carly?”

  “Come on, Little Bell,” Pam pulled her arm.

  “Stop,” Bella pulled her hand away from Pam, “Hi,” she smiled at me.

  I squatted down and smiled I stuck my hand out and shook hers. “It’s very nice to finally meet you Bella,”

  Bella hugged me, and I froze for a moment and finally hugged her back, “I’ve missed you,” she whispered in my ear.

  “I’m so sorry. Life has been crazy. I’ve missed you too,” hugging her felt so good I didn’t want to stop.

  “Your father is waiting for us,” Pam grabbed her hand trying to pry it off my neck.

  I stood up holding her and I wanted to hit Pam for being gruff with her.

  “Daddy has been helping at the shop all week, he only comes here when I’m in bed.” Bella was holding so tight she almost choked me, “I want to stay with you,” she whispered.

  Pam rolled her eyes and laughed, “I’ll take her, kids and their stories.”

  “She isn’t telling a story, Jase has not been here all week during the day. I’ll hang out with her, we will call her father…”

  “You and Jase broke up months ago…”

  “Pam, you need to keep in mind that Bella is right here,” I warned her and started walking away.

  When Pam started walking down the hall someone stopped her and she swore at them. I kept walking holding Bella as we rode the elevator down to the first floor. I walked out the door holding her.

  Thomas smiled at me, “I have plans tonight, call me tomorrow?”

  “Yeah,” A car pulled up and the driver opened the door, “This your car?”

  “Yes,” Bella whispered again.

  We sat in the car and when it stopped in front of Forever Steel Jase opened the door, I looked up at him and he was angry. He was wearing loose worn jeans and a long-sleeved thermal shirt, it hugged his body and I could not help but smile. His anger diminished.

  I stepped out with Bella still wrapped around me, “Sorry about this Carly, the office called and…”

  “It’s fine, right Bella, we’re fine,” I pulled my head back and she looked up.

  “Yes, we’re fine,” she smiled the sweetest little smile and buried her head in my neck.

  “Come here Little Bell, Carly probably has things to do,” he tried to avoid eye contact.

  “Really I don’t, so I was thinking maybe I could take Bella out to dinner. I got my first real paycheck today. Would that be okay Jase?”

  “Carly you need…”

  “I need what? No don’t answer that, you’ll probably get all carried away,” I laughed and Bella smiled up at me.

  “He does that you know.”

  “Yeah I know. He can come too if he wants,” I looked at him and he looked up at the sky and let out a deep breath.

  “Do you like my Dad?”

  “I do,” I blushed.

  “Do you love him?”

  I whispered in her ear that it was a secret and she laughed.

  Jase looked at me and I smiled, “So what do you say? Will you let me take you two out to dinner?”

  He shook his head yes, “You give me an hour?”

  “How about we order whatever Bella wants, and eat here?”

  “Sounds good, perfect actually. Come in, it’s cold,” Jase opened the door and we walked in.

  “You have to hurry though, Grandma is going to take you to dance and then I’ll meet you at home okay?”

  “Can’t I skip?”

  “No way, we stick to our commitments. Hey do I get a hug?”

  “Do I get to skip?”

  “No but…”

  “Then can Carly go with me?”

  “No sorry, girl,” Jase pried her off of me, “Easy Bell you’ll hurt her.

  “I won’t hurt her I love her. Remember I told you that, Carly?”

  “I think of that every day,” I smiled and it was the truth.

  “Okay,” Bella looked at me sadly.

  “I love you too,” I laughed and she smiled so big.

  “Can you stay with us tonight?”

  “Wow Bella, let her breathe,” Jase was beet red.

  “How about you stay with me? Your Daddy probably has to work and I have no plans at all. So after dance, if your Dad says it’s alright you can come spend the night with me. If not we can definitely try another…”

  “Dad says yes, order some food,” Jase said immediately and Bella hugged him and he looked up at me and mouthed I love you.

  “I love you Jase,” Bella gasped and looked at me and Jase laughed.

  “I love you both. Do me a favor, order dinner and get your butts in the back, I’m supposed to be a bad ass remember.” Jase laughed and Bella shook her head disapproving of his language.

  ~

  We ate Italian of course, and it was great. Joe walked into the employee lounge and was utterly shocked. She laughed and then cried, and Bella looked at me confused, which made me laugh. It was comical but very touching and Jase sat back with a smug ass look on his face, yeah the see I told you Mom look.

  “I am spending the night at Carly’s, Nana,” Bella beamed.

  “You are?” Joe smiled at me.

  “If it’s alright, I would love that.”

  After lots of hugs,
kisses, and a pinky promise that made me laugh, plans for the evening were confirmed, I was having a sleep over. I was just as excited as she was, seriously, I never did this when I was younger and Jane was the only female friend I had that ever crashed at my place.

  When they left the shop Jase looked at me and smiled, “This has to be about us, Carly.” It kind of floored me, and I didn’t respond. I started to get embarrassed and then mad and he knew it, “Baby don’t get pissed at me already.” I looked at him and he rolled his eyes, “We can’t be this either.”

  “Well Jase why don’t you tell me how it is you expect me to act,” I could not believe he was doing this right now.

  “We move past all the shit, we enjoy each other, not just because…”

  “Pam doesn’t get to be alone with her anymore,” he looked shocked. “She was mean and if she ever treats her like that again--I will cut her.”

  Jase smirked, “This place brings out the bad ass in you.”

  “Not funny, and you Jase, are an idiot. This is about us, it was …”

  “That’s the thing, if you need time it can’t be balls to the wall. If you want this,” he pointed to me and him, “to go slow you probably should slow it down with Bella. I know the meeting wasn’t planned and I’m grateful you took care of the situation and I will be dealing with Pam, what the fuck was she trying to do!”

  “I think you are getting nervous Jase, which is crazy. You’ve been pushing, sending texts like you did Sunday and then falling off the face of the earth…”

  “That text had a double meaning Carly. I know how you feel about your mother. I felt the same shit when Dad died. Except I had the guilt to add to all that fucking pain. But check this, I feel the same way about you. You don’t complete me, like that movie line: You are my everything, the driving force behind all the shit you see around here now. I want to be the man who you look at and know will catch you when you fall, and not just literally. I want to be your shoulder, and your rock. The center of your world and the one who surrounds it. I want to fucking own you and for you to allow it, because God knows you already own me.” Jase grabbed my face and his eyes were burning, “When I have been kicked in the balls all week and I feel like my world is crumbling around me and have to force myself to be fucking strong, I need you to let me fall into you.”

  “And only me,” my voice trembled.

  “No one else, ever.”

  He kissed me, starting on my cheek. Sweetly, adoringly, lovingly, he kissed my nose, my forehead and then my lips. His lips covered mine surrounding them, gently sucking them. His tongue licked my lips and then stroked my tongue. I really didn’t mean to but I moaned and he pulled back and clenched his teeth.

  His eyes were glazed and hooded, “I am going to take you and you’re going to let me.” His hand ran down my back and he squeezed my ass hard as he lifted me onto the table. He kissed me hard and then stepped back, closed his eyes, and groaned before he walked out of the room.

  I will not speak, I will not speak, I will not speak, I told myself over and over again. I did not want to mess this up by saying the wrong thing.

  Jase opened the door and I looked behind him, the shop was dark. He walked up to me as he pulled his thermal shirt over his head. I noticed he had a new tattoo running up his left side, it was all black and I was about ready to ask him if I could see it when he kissed me and started to unbutton my blouse. He removed it and my bra and stood back looking at me as he undid his jeans and pulled them down along with his black boxer briefs. He was absolutely beautiful. He lifted me up and held me against him as he unzipped my skirt and pushed it down. My breasts rubbed against his and they burned, they were heavy and my nipples were so hard it was almost painful.

  He snapped the strings on my underwear and sat me back on the table. He pulled my knees apart and rubbed his rock hard cock against me. He licked his lips and kissed me moving from my lips to my neck, as he continued to rub himself up and down me. He took my breast in his mouth: sucking at first, it was gentle, and he moved to the next and did the same. When I moaned, he bit down and groaned against my chest. He moved down my stomach and then licked an imaginary line between my hips and then down. He stroked his tongue from back to front over and over groaning as his tongue dipped deeper and deeper into me. My hands gripped the edge of the table and I felt the warmth deep inside me begin to burn and spread throughout me before it was radiating throughout my entire being.

  He kissed my thighs and up my stomach.

  He licked his lips, “So fucking good,” he growled, and grabbed my face and kissed me. I could taste myself on his lips, “I could do that to you all night long,” his finger circled around my clit, and then he lowered it and pushed it deep inside me. I felt myself clench around him. “So fucking tight,” he laid me down kissing me and he slipped another finger in. He bit his lip and his nostril flared.

  When I finally couldn’t hold back the noises brewing deep inside my chest, he pulled his fingers out and grabbed his pants and pulled a silver foiled package out of his pocket and ripped it open with his teeth. My knees pulled tightly around his hips, the burn was too much. He slid the condom down him and pulled the end out, and grabbed me behind the knees bringing my heels up around him. He leaned over and nipped my pebbled nipples and my legs fell open impudently-- I swear I had nothing to do with it. He rubbed himself across my clit and I whimpered. I opened my tightly closed eyes and he was flush and his pecks flexed as he pushed into me. My mouth opened and I silently yelled.

  “I need to hear you Baby, don’t hold back on me,” he pushed deeper and I clenched my teeth, embarrassed by what may come out of my mouth. I watched as his hips gyrated slowly and his jaw clenched, he was holding back. One hand kneaded my breast as the other held my ankles together behind his back.

  I let out a whimper followed by a deep moan as his thumb grazed my clit and he pushed in further. His hips circled, “Fuck Baby you feel. So. Fucking. Good. Your tight little pussy is fucking squeezing the life out of me.” He squeezed my breast, and my hips pushed into him and I whimpered. “I need more Baby, let me give you more.”

  “Yes,” I finally breathed out, “Yes, please,” I whimpered and he closed his eyes and pushed harshly into me. It was painful until he swayed his hips and hit something deep inside me. My whole body tensed.

  “That’s it Baby, cum for me,” he moved back slowly and then back in. Each thrust took my breath away and pleasure surround me so intensely that I had no way of controlling what came out of my mouth.. until I finally felt my body start to relax.

  I could never have imagined this, this, “So, good,” I whimpered and my hips met his.

  He hissed and pulled me up and kissed me as he thrust in and out of me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and my tongue licked his: praising him, tasting him, enjoying his body more than I ever felt humanly possible. He lifted me and I wrapped my legs around him and as if it were even possible, he pushed further into me. Hitting the end of me, there was no more room, I was so full and so wet and enjoying every bit of him, even though it was a little painful, “Hurts so good, Jase,” I whimpered into his neck.

  “Aw yeah Baby, so fucking good,” he groaned.

  My back was against the wall, and I was wrapped around him, his thrusts hastened, and I felt the heat consume my body again, my muscles tightened as if being called by his body to do so, “Again Baby, that’s it,” he kissed me and I cried out, both of us came at the same time.

  “Fucking beautiful,” Jase growled as he turned around and slid down the wall holding me.

  We held each other tightly until our breath started to slow down. When I came down from the most beautiful high I had ever experienced he was stroking my back, “I love you even more, now,” he chuckled and kissed my neck.

  I smiled and he leaned back against the wall and looked at me. Both of us grinning like idiots, “I love you.”

  ~

  I watched them sleeping in the bed I knew would be perfect to frame my beautif
ul baby as she slept. What made it even more perfect was that Little Bell was asleep snug up against the woman I loved. I needed to give her a break, but I swear I needed her again. I was going to be enslaved to her forever and I knew it from that first day on the beach. I watched her eyes flutter as they adjusted to the light coming from the master bathroom and she smiled when she saw me.

  “Hey, Baby,” I whispered and kissed her head.

  “What time is it?”

  “Late, but I need to talk to you,” my heart pounded against my chest as she slipped out from under Little Bell’s arm and swung her feet over the side of the bed.

  She stretched as I looked over that hot little lavender covered body that was mine now. She started to stand and I stood in front and stopped her. She rubbed her eyes and blinked up at me, “Is everything alright?”

  “Yeah, listen I over-plan everything when it comes to you, and generally… I fuck it up. So as I sat in that office tonight daydreaming of you on that fucking table I decided fuck it, fuck the planning, fuck the surprises that blow up in my face, and fuck the waiting.”

  She smiled curiously at me “Have you been drinking?”

  I laughed, “No, but if this backfires could we pretend I was?” She looked at me and shook her head and giggled.

  I reached in my pocket, got down on one knee and looked up, “Whenever I feel like we have wasted a lot of time, I look back and realize it was all meant to happen, I suppose. So here’s the deal, I want to start forever with you now. Marry me, Baby.”

  Her jaw dropped, yeah I surprised her and it felt so fucking… “Where are you going?”

  She ran into the bathroom and shut the door. I fucked up again. I paced outside the door for hours, okay so it was a mere two minutes but it felt like forever before she opened that damn door. When she did she was glowing, fucking glowing.

  “Baby, you’re killing me here.”

  “Sorry, I had to brush my teeth.”

  “Look oral hygiene is important but…”

  “Yes.”

  “Yes? Well why the fuck couldn’t…”

  She put her little hand over my mouth, “Because you’re going to kiss me after you put that ring on my finger and I want my mouth to taste yummy when you rub that ball all over my tongue.”