How the Grinch Stole My Heart

by Annabelle Costa

  “Let me just…” She gestures down at her bare feet. Her toenails are painted pink. “And I’ve got to tell Henry.”

  I nod, squeezing my fist against the handle of my crutch. Fanny, hang in there. We’re coming to help you. Please hang in there.

  Chapter 44: Noelle

  Fanny is dead.

  She must be. I know it. And by the look on Jeremy’s face as we ride up in the elevator to her apartment, he knows it too. He’s frantic to check on her, but he’s got to expect the worst. She hasn’t been seen in two days. That’s a really bad sign.

  “I should have been checking on her every day,” he mumbles under his breath. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”

  He’s really beating himself up for this. I knew he was friendly with Fanny, but it’s clear how much this is affecting him. There’s a haunted look on his face.

  “You were really good friends with her, huh?” I say.

  He lifts his blue-green eyes. Despite everything, he looks really handsome today. He’s clean-shaven for a change. “Why are you talking about her in the past tense?”

  “What?”

  “You said I was really good friends with her.” He frowns at me. “You think she’s…?”

  “I’m sure she’s fine, Jeremy.” Why did I say that? I’m not sure she’s fine. I’m sure she’s the opposite of fine.

  He lifts his hand from his crutch briefly to rub at the scar above his eyebrow. “She’s the only person in this goddamn building who ever bothers to talk to me.”

  I want to point out that he doesn’t exactly invite people to be friendly to him, given the way he behaves. But considering how worried he is, I don’t want to dig at him.

  “She told me you look like Gene Kelly,” I say. “‘Handsome like Gene Kelly,’ she said. Whoever that is.”

  He cracks the tiniest of smiles. “He was an old time movie star. Very handsome, apparently. I’d say it’s flattering, but she also told me she’s got cataracts. So.”

  For a moment, I’m tempted to tell him that cataracts or not, Fanny knows what she’s talking about. But before I can get any words out, the elevator doors swing open. And now we’re on Fanny’s floor. Just steps away from her apartment.

  A dizzy feeling overtakes me. All I can think is that a woman is lying dead in that apartment. We’re going to walk in there and see her dead body. On Christmas Eve.

  Oh God.

  I clasp my hand over my mouth. “Jeremy,” I murmur. “I… I don’t think I can do this…”

  His eyes fill with alarm. “What? Why not?”

  “Because… what if she’s…?”

  “Listen, Noelle.” His jaw tightens. “I’m going in there. If there’s any chance Fanny’s hurt, I need to help her. I asked you to come so you could help out if she needs it.” He raises his eyebrows at me. “So are you going to help or what?”

  He’s right. I’d be a terrible person if I walked away now. “Yes. I’ll be right behind you.”

  He nods and limps in the direction of Fanny’s door, his face a mixture of determination and fear. “Fanny was really lucky to have you as a friend,” I tell him.

  He turns to glare at me. “Stop talking about her in the past tense.”

  Sheesh. Sorry.

  I see a stack of newspapers lying on Fanny’s doorstep, having accumulated over the last several days—another bad sign. Jeremy knocks on her door, mumbling something about how she doesn’t like doorbells and dismantled hers. He knocks again for good measure, then we wait.

  And wait.

  And wait.

  There’s no sound coming from within the apartment. Not even a feeble yell.

  “She’s not answering,” he mumbles.

  “Yeah,” I breathe. This is really not looking good.

  “I’m going in.”

  His hand is visibly shaking when he pulls the key out of his pocket. After two tries, he still can’t get it in the lock. He takes a deep breath and slides the key in on the third try. Then he turns it.

  I brace my nostrils to be assaulted by the smell of decaying flesh. But instead, I’m practically knocked down by the overwhelming scent of Fanny’s perfume. I’ve smelled it on her before, but never quite this strong. It reminds me of something my grandmother used to wear.

  Other than that, the apartment is unremarkable. Small, like mine, with a green flower-printed sofa, a bookcase stuffed with paperbacks, and a small coffee table with a cup resting on it. A cup filled with liquid—maybe coffee.

  If there’s a filled cup on her table, that means Fanny hasn’t gone away. She wouldn’t have gone on a trip with coffee left out on her table. Would she?

  Jeremy glances at me, his brow scrunched together. He’s thinking the same thing I am.

  “Fanny?” he calls out.

  “Fanny!” I chime in.

  No answer.

  “We should check her bedroom,” Jeremy says in a low voice.

  Oh God. I don’t want to do this. I don’t think I’ve ever been so scared in my entire life. Well, maybe that one time on the playground when I looked in my purse for some tissues and when I looked up again, two-year-old Henry had completely vanished. It took five minutes to locate him at the water fountain—five of the scariest minutes of my life. It was the first and only time I ever lost track of my son.

  I can tell Jeremy is just as scared, but he pushes forward anyway. He moves in the direction of the closed bedroom door off to the side. But before he can get there, the knob turns, the door swings open and…

  A man comes out.

  A naked man.

  A naked old man.

  A naked old man with a baseball bat.

  What the hell?

  Jeremy’s eyes widen and he backs up several paces, the best he can. Actually, he moves toward me, stepping in front of me so that he’s between me and the baseball bat.

  “What are you doing in Fanny’s apartment?” the man yelps at us.

  I know my eyes should be focused on the baseball bat that could easily bash my head in, but it’s really hard not to focus on the guy’s junk. It’s really saggy and wrinkly. Is that what happens to a man’s genitals when he gets old?

  “What are you doing here?” the man repeats, giving the bat a quick practice swing.

  “We, uh…” Jeremy is standing right in front of me now, ensuring any swing of the bat will take him out before it hits me. Whatever else I can say about Jeremy, he’s not a coward. “I’m a friend of Fanny’s so…”

  “Oh my God, Jeremy!”

  We hear Fanny’s voice before we see her. When she comes out, I’m relieved to see not only is she in one piece (and actually looking quite flushed and happy), but that she’s not naked. She’s got on a fuzzy pink bathrobe that looks very cozy.

  “Fanny!” Jeremy’s shoulders sag with relief. “You’re okay.”

  Fanny’s wrinkled face breaks out in a smile. It’s hard to believe she’s over ninety. She doesn’t look a day over eighty. “You were worried! Oh, that’s so sweet.” She glances at her naked friend. “Walt, would you put down that bat? You look insane! These are my friends.”

  The naked old man reluctantly lowers the bat. Honestly, I don’t mind if he keeps the bat, but I really wish he’d put on some clothes.

  “Jeremy, Noelle,” Fanny says. “This is Walt. We met a few weeks ago at CVS at the prescription counter.” She giggles. “They gave him my Norvasc, and they gave me his Lopressor! It was quite the mix-up.”

  “They could have killed us both,” Walt mumbles under his breath.

  I rather agree with Walt, but Fanny seems to find the whole thing amusing. I wish she’d tell him to put on some clothes. Seriously.

  “Would you two like to stay for some coffee?” Fanny asks us.

  “Uh…” I glance at Jeremy, who is shaking his head. “Actually, Henry is alone at home, so I better get back to him.”

  “All right then.” Fanny beams at us. “Well, I’m so sorry to give you two a fright. But both of you will have to stop
by sometime for dinner.”

  Yes. Some other time. Some other time when none of us are naked.

  We tell Fanny goodbye and get out of the apartment before I have to spend another moment looking at (or trying not to look at) Walt’s genitals. I can’t believe he didn’t want to cover up. But I guess when you get to a certain age, you just don’t care anymore.

  Jeremy stops short before he gets to the elevator. I stop too and look over at him—he’s shaking his head, his eyes glassy. He’s really shaken. It must have been hard on him to think Fanny might be lying in there, nearly dead.

  “Are you okay?” I ask gently.

  “Christ,” he breathes, “is that what your balls look like when you get to be ninety?”

  Our eyes meet and we both burst into hysterical laughter. I’m laughing so hard, I can’t stop. When Greg left me for Dina, it shut down the laughter valve in my body. And while there have been tiny bits of laughter leakage that managed to get through, for the most part it was off. But somehow, being with Jeremy makes me want to giggle and laugh again. This is the hardest I’ve laughed in a year.

  When the laughter dies down, we’re both staring at each other. God, this guy is so sexy. All that anger I felt before, when he was pissed off at Henry, has vanished. All I can feel is that pull, that tingling in my whole body I get when I’ve met a man I want to get close to.

  “Noelle,” he murmurs.

  Our eyes meet, and before I know what’s happening, he’s crossed the two feet between us and he’s pressing his lips onto mine. He backs me up against the wall as I melt against him. I haven’t kissed a man in a year—nobody since Greg. And this is an incredible kiss. The kind of kiss where you feel like as close as the guy is, you want him to be closer. You want his body to meld with yours.

  That kind of kiss.

  I tug at Jeremy’s collar, trying to keep him close and keep this amazing kiss going. He doesn’t seem eager to let it end either. The only thing getting in the way is his right arm, which is pressed against his chest, which keeps me from pressing against his chest. But his good hand slides up the back of my neck, into my hair. God, this is nice.

  We full-on make out in the hallway for at least five minutes before the elevator doors ding open, and we jump away from each other. Jeremy’s face is flushed and his dark blond hair is tousled, and if we weren’t in the hallway, I’m pretty sure I’d be trying to rip his clothes off right now.

  He clears his throat, a smile playing on his lips. “Wow.”

  I laugh. “Yeah. Wow.”

  He reaches for his right arm self-consciously. It’s tightened up even more while we were making out. “I’m sorry about that whole mess with Henry,” he says. “He’s a good kid. I just… I can be a cranky asshole sometimes.”

  “No,” I say. “He flipped you off. You had a right to be angry.”

  He grins at me. “Oh, so you believe me?”

  I smile sheepishly. “He’s apparently done it to other people. Flipping people off is now his thing.”

  “Jonny McIntyre taught him to do it, you know.”

  “Oh, did he?”

  He shrugs and smiles. “Just telling you what I heard.”

  We’re both quiet for a moment, looking at each other. I’m hoping he leans in to kiss me again. I really can’t get enough of that. It’s like I’ve been on a desert for a year and I just got access to water. And not just tap water, but that really good water from one of those natural springs flowing off a mountain.

  “I had a stroke on Christmas Day,” Jeremy says.

  My mouth falls open. That’s not what I expected him to say.

  “Sorry, I know I’m ruining the moment.” He hangs his head. “I just wanted you to know why this holiday is so hard for me. I was waking up with my wife, about to go open our presents, and then… bam, an aneurysm burst in my brain. And…” He looks down at his right arm. “Everything changed.”

  “Oh my God,” I breathe. “That’s… awful.”

  “It’s fine.” He shakes his head. “I’ve had six years to deal with it. But it’s always kind of a relief when Christmas is over.”

  “I know what you mean.” I chew on my thumbnail. “This is my first Christmas since my divorce and I’ve been trying so damn hard to make it special, even though everything is a mess. That tree in the lobby… I know it’s stupid, but it meant a lot to me. Our apartment isn’t big enough for a tree like that anymore.”

  Jeremy eyes are distant, looking down at his arm. He was married when this thing happened to him—I’m guessing the strain of it all is what ended his marriage. I can’t even imagine how hard it is to be reminded of all that.

  “Listen,” I say, “would you like to come by on Christmas morning?”

  He blinks a few times. “Christmas morning?”

  I nod. “I’ve got a few presents under the tree for Henry… I mean, you don’t have to bring anything.” He’s not saying anything so I plow forward. “He likes you a lot now, actually, so it would be nice to have you there. And then his dad is picking him up, so we could do something together after.” I study his face, trying to read his expression. “Or if you just want to stay in your apartment and hide all day, I would understand that.”

  A smile touches his lips. “No, I don’t want that. I’d definitely rather spend the day with you, Noelle.”

  “Okay then.”

  “And I think Henry is expecting me to play catch with him now.”

  That makes me grin. “I think he is.”

  “But first,” he says, “I’m going to kiss you again.”

  And he does. Oh my.

  Chapter 45: Jeremy

  Christmas Day.

  Last year at this time, I had trouble even working up the motivation to get out of bed. I lay there for two hours, staring at the ceiling, thinking about how five years earlier, I had hopped out of bed without my crutch or my ankle brace. I had no clue what was coming back then.

  The only positive thing was I didn’t know Taylor was pregnant at Christmas last year. If I had, I might have stayed in bed for a week.

  This morning is different though. I don’t hop out of bed like I did six years ago, but I don’t feel that familiar burst of frustration when I Velcro my ankle foot orthosis to my right calf. This is my life and there are plenty of good things about it. I’ve got a nice apartment, I’ve a decent job that allows me to work from home, and now… well, I’ve got Christmas Day at Noelle’s.

  I bring my shopping cart to Noelle’s, even though it’s embarrassing as all hell to push that thing around. But there’s something I want to bring for Henry and I can’t carry it. So shopping cart it is.

  Noelle told me to get there at seven-thirty, which seems awfully early but she assured me Henry would be awake and eager to open his presents. I ring the doorbell of 5H, thinking back to Saturday—it seems like an eternity ago that I’d come here furious about my lock being tampered with.

  I love the way Noelle’s eyes light up when she sees me standing at the door, even though I’m holding on to that stupid shopping cart. She’s wearing pajamas, but they’re the sexiest pajamas I’ve ever seen. The pants are pink-and-red striped and cling to her butt, and the shirt is practically see-through. I have to do my best to avert my eyes so she doesn’t notice me ogling her tits. It takes incredible self-restraint.

  A smile plays on her lips. “Are we going shopping?”

  “I brought something for Henry,” I say. “I thought he’d get a kick out of this.”

  Noelle reaches into the cart and pulls out the box I put inside. It’s big enough that even getting it into the cart was a struggle for me.

  “A cotton candy machine?” she says.

  At those words, Henry suddenly materializes at her side, his eyes wide as saucers. “Cotton candy?”

  Taylor and I actually bought the damn thing a few months before we got married. It was an impulse buy, after we’d been chatting about how cool the cotton candy machines were at carnivals. We played with it for an entire d
ay before stuffing it back in the box and vowing to never eat cotton candy again. I can’t believe I kept it when I moved here.

  “It’s really cool,” I tell Henry. “You put in any flavor candy, and the machine will turn it into cotton candy for you.”

  “Whoa,” Henry says, which was pretty much my reaction the first time I made cotton candy out of a Jolly Rancher. “Mom, can we try it right now?”

  “But I thought you were going to play with your Lego set?” Noelle frowns. “Henry, the pieces are all over the living room…”

  “Cotton candy!” Henry shrieks. “Cotton candy!”

  “Sorry,” I mouth to Noelle. Thankfully, she shrugs.

  We spend the next hour making cotton candy out of every flavor of candy they have in the house. Henry even has a few pixie sticks we turn into cotton candy. I would have thought Henry would be sick of it after a while, but he isn’t. He loves that cotton candy machine.

  “I never want to eat cotton candy again,” Noelle groans, which is about how I’m feeling too.

  Henry tips up his face to look at me. “Can you bring the cotton candy machine over again sometime?”

  “Actually,” I say, “I brought it for you. As a Christmas present. It’s yours.”

  The horrified look on Noelle’s face makes me want to take it back, but it’s too late. Henry is jumping around happily. I don’t think I’ve ever given anyone a present that’s made them quite this happy. I don’t think anything has ever made me as happy as this cotton candy machine has made Henry.

  But this little family comes close.

  Chapter 46: Noelle

  Okay, yes, I’m not thrilled with Jeremy for giving Henry that cotton candy machine. But I can’t really. Because he’s just so good with Henry. He patiently explains to him how to load the candy and the best way to gather the cotton onto the stick. Also, Jeremy looks hot this morning. He’s clean-shaven again, which makes him look sweet and boyish, and his green T-shirt makes his eyes look really green. I want to spend the morning with my son, but I’m also sort of eager for Henry to leave so I can be alone with this guy.