The ring of the house phone cuts my shower short. Fear stops me from answering it right away. It might be him, but by the third ring, I give in.
“Hello.”
“Thank God! Where have you been?” It’s Em, and she’s frantic.
“I’ve been home. I turned my cell phone off last night and fell asleep. What’s wrong?”
“I’ll tell you what’s wrong, Damon showed up this morning still wearing his suit from the opening and smelling of alcohol. All he said was that you left him, and then he passed out. What the hell is going on?”
“It’s true. We’re no longer together.” I swallow the lump in my throat. “It’s not something I can talk about right now or over the phone. I need to be there before the band goes on for round two. Will you be home tonight?”
“Kat, I’ll come home right now if you need me.” I know it’s true. Em would drop everything for me.
“No, tonight is fine. I’ll be home around eleven.”
How I’ll get through tonight is a mystery, but staying busy will keep my mind off Damon. It’s not that I hate him. I could never hate someone I love, but loving him isn’t enough.
The club is bustling, the band is happy, and the VIP lounge is taken care of. There are so many staff members seeing to the needs of our guests, it’s wasteful. The payroll must be astronomical.
When I get home, I find Em waiting inside with several bottles of wine.
“Is this a light crying night that requires a chardonnay, or do we need to go for the heavy stuff like a merlot or a cabernet?” she asks.
“Let’s go straight for the merlot. How many bottles did you bring?”
“After seeing Damon, I bought three bottles of everything.”
“That should get us started,” I try to joke, but break into sobs.
For the first time in over a decade, I trade places with Em. She cradles me against her bosom while I cry my eyes out. I sob until there are no tears left. We sit in silence until she asks me to explain.
“Mara happened.” I tell her the story.
“Are you sure he kissed her? I just don’t think Damon would do that.”
“Are you siding with him?”
“No, but that just doesn’t seem like Damon.”
I sagged against the sofa back. “You’re right, she kissed him. He didn’t initiate it, and if I’m honest with myself, I don’t even think he enjoyed it. He actually backed away.” I finish my glass and pour another. “But it wasn’t even the kiss that had me so upset; it was the look that sealed the deal. Do you remember when you told me if a man cautions you about himself, then you should listen to his warnings? Damon warned me again and again, and I didn’t listen. He told me he didn’t have a heart to give, and I didn’t believe him. I was so convinced that I had a heart big enough for both of us. What was I thinking?”
Em holds me in her arms, where my tears had soaked her T-shirt.
“I’m so mad at him,” she says. “It’s taking everything in me to stay here and not go knee him in the balls.”
I shake my head. “It’s not his fault. It’s mine. He was honest from the beginning. He told me he didn’t date. He told me he couldn’t offer me what I wanted or needed. He told me she’d gutted him, and she was the one, but I was so sure my love would be enough to overcome all of that. The only thing he said that wasn’t true was that he wasn’t a heartbreaker, always the heartbroken, but dammit, he broke mine.”
The tears start up again and continue throughout the night until I wake up on the couch with a pillow under my head and a blanket over my body.
I stretch to get the kinks that have settled into my back ironed out.
“Today is the first day of the rest of my life.” I climb off the couch and change into shorts, a T-shirt, and running shoes. “If it doesn’t kill me, it will strengthen me.”
Chapter Twenty-Nine
The Mustang is missing when I arrive at work, and its absence comes as a relief.
Reaching into the back seat, I pick up the box of Damon’s things and take them to the top floor.
Greta greets me like always.
“Hello, Katarina. How are you today?” She smiles. “I hear the opening was a smash. You must be so proud.”
“It was a great opening, but a long weekend. Ahz was so well received by the press and the public that I’m sure it will continue to thrive.”
“Mr. Noble looked handsome at the press conference. Did you see it?”
“No, I was busy with planning, but I love that suit on him.” I think about Damon in his blue pinstripe suit, and my heart twists like a wet rag being rung dry. “Can you give these things to Mr. Noble when he gets in?”
She bends her head in question. She knows something is up, but as a professional, she doesn’t ask questions.
She takes the clothes from my hand. “He called and said he wouldn’t be in for a few days. Is there anything else you need? Anything I can do for you?”
“No, everything is okay.” I offer her a weak smile and leave for my office.
A beautiful vase of flowers sits on my desk. The envelope says, “Angel” and I know they’re from him. I collapse into my chair and stare at them.
Trevor enters my office and sits on the corner of my desk.
“Are you going to open the card, or do I have to do it?” he asks.
“I’ll open it later.”
“Hey, I know what’s going on. Em called your brother, and he told me. Are you okay?” He hops up and walks behind my chair. His hands go straight to my shoulders to massage the stress away. “Do we need to kick his ass?”
“I knew what I was getting into. If anyone needs an ass-kicking, it’s me. Damon is a good man, and I don’t want people judging him over our breakup.”
Trevor studies my face before leaving me alone.
I turn the envelope over and open it.
Katarina,
I never set out to hurt you. I adore you and can’t imagine life without you in it. Please talk to me.
Damon
He thinks I left because of the kiss. Pulling out my phone, I send the hardest text of my life.
Damon,
Thank you for the flowers. I’m not ready to face this situation head-on. Give me time. Let’s meet in a couple of weeks. How about Anthony Haywood’s at Ahz on the third? I’ll make the reservations. I hope you’re okay.
Kat
My phone pings with an incoming message.
Kat, I’m relieved to hear from you. You don’t understand how important you are. While I don’t want to wait that long, I’ll respect your wishes.
Yours,
Damon
I trace my finger over the word yours. Too bad that’s not true; he was and never will be mine.
For the next few hours, Trevor and I plan, and when I return to my office at noon, I find Greta setting lunch on my desk.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m delivering your lunch. It’s what I do.” She gives me a don’t-mess-with-me look and leaves.
I pull into the garage today and see his parking spot empty again. Every day gets a little easier. The pain is still profound, but I cry less.
The unmistakable rumble sounds behind me, so I run to the elevator. If I can get inside and push the close button, I won’t have to see him. I know seeing him will crush me. As I rush to the elevator, he climbs out of his car.
“Good morning, Katarina.” He calls after me. “How’s your day going?”
It was going fine until you sucker-punched me in the stomach by showing up this morning.
He slides into the elevator and pushes the button for my floor and his.
A smile wavers on my lips. “Good morning, Mr. Noble. I hope you have a great day.”
His eyes widen. “I asked you how your day is going.”
Despite the dark circles under his eyes, he’s still handsome, and it hurts to look at him.
“It’s just beginning, so it would be premature to say.”
The
elevator stops, and I bolt as fast as I can. Standing near him is more than I can handle. The scent of him takes me to places my memory can’t visit.
I run to my desk and burst into tears.
“Katarina, are you okay?”
Trevor walks through my door, closes, and locks it. When he reaches me, he pulls me into his arms.
“Oh … Trevor,” I wail. “I thought I’d be okay, but I’m not. I saw him, and it broke my heart—again. How many times is a man allowed to do that?”
I sob so much I get hiccups.
“It’ll be okay. I know you feel you won’t survive, but you will. I had a bad breakup several years ago, and I didn’t leave my bed for a week. You’re here every day, and that proves how strong you are. You didn’t fall in love with him overnight, and you won’t fall out of love with him that fast either.”
“How long did it take before you felt like you could move on?”
“You don’t want to know. All you need to do is breathe. You did it before him, and you’ll do it after him. How about lunch today?”
“Lunch sounds great.” The universe smiled on me the day Trevor became my boss.
After we eat, Trevor declares the afternoon is paid downtime. Who am I to argue? He’s my boss.
Trevor believes the best therapy for depression is shopping. We visit several boutiques and a store that creates custom perfume. When we get back to Noble Enterprises, we smell good and look great.
We part ways at the elevator. He goes to his office, and I go home to hang my new clothes and drink another bottle of wine.
As always at this time of day, the traffic is bumper-to-bumper. Looking straight ahead, I’m jolted into shock when I’m hit from behind.
The impact sends my Jetta barreling into the intersection, where a car entering from the opposite direction broadsides me.
Everything takes on an eerie silence in the aftermath. I think I’m okay, but my left arm hurts like a bitch. Bile rises to my throat as sweat runs down my forehead. I reach up to swipe it away, but my hand comes back covered in blood.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” A young man asks, sticking his head through the window. His blue eyes are pretty, but not Viking god pretty. “I called the police and an ambulance. Don’t move. I don’t want you to hurt yourself more.”
Hurt myself more? Sure, my arm hurts, and I feel pain in my face and chest from the impact of the airbags, but I’m okay. I look around to see every window is shattered except for the passenger side.
“Shit. This will cost a fortune to fix.”
Within minutes, there are police, firefighters, and paramedics everywhere. Somehow, they pull me from my car and place me on a gurney.
As I’m rolling to the waiting ambulance, I remember my shopping bags in the back seat. There is no way I’m going anywhere without them. That’s two weeks’ salary in those bags, and I argue with the medical staff to get them. There’s a stick from the IV needle, then nothing.
“Kat, open your eyes, sweetie. It’s Em.”
I hear her voice, but it’s far away. My eyes are heavy, and all I want to do is sleep.
I open them and see the fuzzy outline of people—Em, Chris, Trevor, and my parents. Rose is here, too. Why are so many people in my room?
“Katarina, honey? It’s your mother. Wake up so Dr. Noble can check you out. She stayed late to see you.”
“What? Where am I?” I wince at the pain. “Holy hell, my arm and head are killing me.”
“Katarina, it’s Rose. You were in a bad car accident. You broke your arm and needed a few stitches on your forehead, but everything else seems okay. That little car of yours saved your life.”
“My car … is it okay? I need it for work.”
“You’re staying here overnight for observation. If everything looks good tomorrow morning, you can go home,” Rose lays a comforting hand on my shoulder—the only place that doesn’t hurt.
“I have work tomorrow.” I think about the clothes. “I need my new clothes for work.” I ramble on about shopping and my schedule, but it makes little sense.
“Nonsense. You’ll stay because I said so. Your clothes are fine. The paramedics brought them in. They said you wouldn’t let them transport you until they had them in the ambulance. They had to sedate you to calm you down. You weren’t complaining about the pain, you wanted those darn clothes.”
“I have no clothes. Mine are at Damon’s, and I can’t get them because I love him too…” The effect of pain medication takes me to dreamland.
The squeezing of my arm wakes me with a start. I open my eyes to see the nurse removing a blood pressure cuff. Sitting to my left is Damon. He is holding the fingers that peek out of my cast and lightly caressing them with his thumb, back and forth.
“My mom called me and told me.” He looks around the empty room. “Your family went home several hours ago, but they’ll check on you tomorrow. Do you need anything? You’re allowed to have ice chips. Let me get you some.”
Within minutes, he’s back and feeding me ice chips. They’re so good because I’m so thirsty.
“Are you in pain, Angel? I can ask them to give you pain meds if you need it.”
“Why are you here?”
“Katarina, no matter how you feel about me, I care about you. Can we forget what happened last week for today? I want to be here with you. If you want me to leave, you have to kick me out.”
“It’s not that I don’t want you here, but it’s hard for me when you’re near.”
Damon wasn’t put together like usual. His hair was mussed, his jacket a wrinkled mess, and his tie was gone.
“Do you want me to leave?”
Did I? Waking up to him beside me was like a dream. “No, I don’t. I don’t want to be by myself,” I confess.
“I’ll be here every time you open your eyes,” he promises.
True to his word, he spends the night with me in the hospital. It seems like a selfless act, but I can’t analyze his motives now.
Em walks in and scowls. “I’ve got this under control. You can leave,” she tells Damon.
“Do you need help getting her home?” he asks.
“Nope. We got it taken care of,” she snaps.
There’s a look of resignation in his eyes when he leans over and places a chaste kiss on my cheek.
“I’ll check in on you later.” He walks out of the door and my life again.
“What was he doing here?” Em asks. “I couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw him sitting there.”
“Rose called him. He was sweet. Don’t worry. It won’t change anything. He was here as a concerned friend.”
I can’t put my seat belt on by myself, the stitches in my forehead ache, and I’m tired.
Everyone is at our house when we get home. The only people missing are Rose and Damon.
Chris and Trevor tuck me into bed, and Em and Anthony make sure I’ve eaten. My parents stay to make sure I’m settled before they leave. The doctor said to stay home for the rest of the week.
“Em, tell me the truth about my car. Can it be fixed?” I already know the answer. Rose told me my Jetta sacrificed itself to save me, but I need to hear it.
“There’s nothing left of your car. The back end was pushed so far forward, your shopping bags ended up in the front seat. The driver’s side is now on the right side of the car. It’s totaled.”
“How am I supposed to get anywhere?”
She smiles. “We divvied up the driving duties until you get back into a car. You’ll probably be able to get behind the wheel in a week, but you have to get off pain meds first.”
My first day back feels wonderful. Em drops me off in the employee garage, where the silver Mustang sits in its designated spot with the orange Charger parked next to it.
Trevor meets me on the ground floor and walks with me to my office. Sitting on my desk is a vase of flowers, a set of keys, and a note.
Katarina,
I hope that you’re healing well. I checked with my mother, and
she said you could safely drive a car. I thought you might like to borrow the Charger until you have time to research and purchase a new one. Please consider my offer.
Yours,
Damon
Offering me the Charger isn’t a small thing. It’s been in his garage since Roman’s death. I don’t know what to do about the offer. If I borrow it, it may give him the wrong impression, and if I turn him down, I could hurt his feelings.
Trevor stands nearby like a sentry.
“I’m in a dilemma,” I say. “Damon offered to loan me his second car. It’s a huge step for him because it has significant meaning to his past. What should I do?”
“I’ve known Mr. Noble for five years. We haven’t become buddies, but he looks after his people. I can’t imagine him having any other motive than making sure you’re okay. Maybe this is helping him too. He’s showing you he can let go of something that means a lot to him.”
Trevor’s observation takes me by surprise.
“Thank you for your insight. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”
After careful consideration, I text him.
Thank you for the generous offer. I know how difficult it must be to let go of that car. Thanks for the loan. I promise to get it back to you soon.
Kat
I’ve reverted to my nickname because it’s less painful to hear Kat than Katarina.
I’m glad you can use it. I had the tires and the battery changed, so it should be in perfect condition. I’m burying my past, Katarina, so I can move on with my future. The car is a small part of the process. See you Wednesday at six.
Wednesday seemed so far away when I picked that day. I’m shocked at how quickly time passes.
I’m proud of you, Damon, and thanks for the loaner.
The keys feel cold as I run them through my fingers. The ring contains two keys and a key chain. One key is distinctly a car key, the other a house key. The key chain is an angel.
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