Old Demon and the Sea Witch: A Hell Cruise Adventure (Welcome to Hell Book 10)

by Eve Langlais

  “You want us to be exclusive, you just say the word.”

  “Don’t play games with me.” Dottie’s hair danced on a magical wind, lifting and twisting, while her eyes stormed with dark, cresting waves. Freaky and hot all at once.

  I stepped farther away from the door. Not to get clothes, though. I entered the bathroom and turned on the shower, wondering at the timing of Dottie’s arrival.

  We’d parted not long ago—on her terms I might add—yet here she was at my door, looking like a cat dunked in cold water, all hissing and spitting-mad. A little earlier, and she might have caught me with Gaia.

  Mother Nature had returned to rant about how Lucifer appeared suspicious. Sprinkled admonishments that I needed to be careful. She also made me promise not to tell Lucifer a thing. A vow that would never count since Lucifer already suspected that she was playing around.

  “This has nothing to do with us but the woman you had here.” To my surprise, Dottie followed me to the bathroom door. She leaned against the frame and crossed her arms.

  “You keep saying it has nothing to do with us, yet every word out of your mouth sounds jealous. How long you going to keep pretending you don’t care?” I turned to the shower.

  “I don’t,” she grumbled. “As an old friend, I’m concerned about your choice.”

  “And just who do you think I’m seeing romantically?” I reached in and felt the water. Hot.

  “Was it Gaia, you dumb idiot?”

  “Dumb?” I questioned her choice of words even as she had a point. Gaia acted indiscreetly, and Dottie had the astuteness to notice. I trod very carefully. “That would be insane. No one would dare mess with the dark lord’s wife.”

  “One would hope not, given that anyone who did would probably die.”

  “It touches me to know you are worried about my health.” My hand went to the waistband of the towel.

  “I don’t care,” she growled, looking adorable. And much younger.

  I had to wonder at the change in her appearance since last night. She’d shown up this morning smooth-skinned with her hair that stunning jet color I remembered and curly beyond belief. So utterly beautiful, smart, and confident. She also seemed rather convinced that I was under a charm of some kind. As if a love spell could be to blame for how I felt.

  Adorable how she refused to accept the truth. I’d loved her for a long time.

  “I was just about to shower. Care to join?” I tugged the cloth free. The modest boy of long ago with his pasty skin and no abs hadn’t existed in a while. Keeping the library safe had turned out to be more my style than constantly having my nose buried in books. I kept in shape now. Traveled throughout Hell and to other planes, looking for rare knowledge to bring back to the library. Sometimes, that information came with legs, too many eyes, and required a cell with a keeper. The library didn’t discriminate on the forms that knowledge could take.

  The towel hit the floor. I caught her gaze and held it as I stepped into the steaming-hot water. “Shower is big enough for two.”

  To my surprise, she stalked towards me, then stopped with a smirk. Her fingers waggled, and the water turned ice-cold.

  I lost male status in that frigid moment. An indignant bellow emerged as I jumped out. I glared as I grabbed my towel and scrubbed at my skin.

  “That was mean.”

  Her eyes sparkled. “For you. But fun for me.”

  “Good to know.” My own magic flicked, and the shower sprayed her.

  She opened her mouth and screeched, “You jerk!”

  I let the water return to the shower and smiled at her soggy self. “You’re right. That was fun.”

  A hand skimmed down her body and sluiced the water to the floor. She glared at me, then broke into a chuckle. In moments, she was laughing hard. “You are not that shy librarian anymore, are you?”

  “Nope. Just like you’re not a junior witch. Rumor has it you’re pretty badass.”

  She rolled a shoulder and offered a preening smile. “I do all right.”

  I wound the towel around my waist before approaching her. “I wasn’t kidding before. I’d like to get to know the new you.”

  “You might not like her,” she said softly, staring at me.

  “Actually, I am thinking that I might like her quite a bit.”

  Dottie stood framed in the doorway, so I bracketed the opening with a hand on each side. I leaned into her, bending down to bring our faces close.

  “You are much too cocky for my liking.”

  “I would have said just cocky enough.” I leaned in and kissed her.

  We both had our eyes open, Dottie’s wide. I tasted her immediate surprise as she drew in a sharp breath.

  I winked. And whispered, “Kiss me back.”

  “No.”

  “Weren’t you the one saying I never took the initiative?”

  “It’s too late now.”

  “Are you sure?” I said, pulling back a bit so only my breath fluttered over her lips.

  “I don’t even know if I like you,” she grumbled, yanking me back and pressing her mouth to mine. She kissed me, and not just a quick peck.

  Her lips were soft and plush as they explored mine. Teasing me, tasting me, her hands roaming my body, skimming over my skin. Grabbing my ass through the towel.

  She reminded me what if felt like to be a young man enraptured by a woman to the point where the barest touch enflamed.

  When Dottie pulled away, she left me panting. My body was flushed with arousal, and the towel fell, pulled free by my erection.

  She appeared only a little disheveled as she eyed me. “Do you always look like that after a kiss?”

  As if my world exploded? “What do you think?” I growled. Did she yet understand just how much she affected me?

  Apparently not, because she said, “If this is your standard kissing face, then at least you are not fooling around with Lucifer’s wife.”

  The very idea had me losing my happy vibe and saying, “Excuse me?”

  “I had to know for sure. And it seems you were telling the truth because your kissing face is nothing like your oh-shit-I-almost-got-caught face.”

  I gaped at her. “You kissed me as a test?”

  “Just making sure you weren’t being dumb.”

  “Where would you even get the idea that I was sleeping with Gaia?”

  “People talk.”

  “No one is talking, because no one but you knows she was here. And how did you even…?” I groaned. “Lucifer. Don’t tell me he’s harassing you, too.”

  “When isn’t he being a demanding devil?”

  “What does he want from you?”

  “I told you, he’s matchmaking again.” She snorted. “Me and you. As if that would work.”

  “Don’t be so sure that’s what he wants. When your precious lord visited me, he didn’t say anything to me about you. He just told me to keep an eye out for hinky shit.”

  “Hinkier than your nephew turning monster of the deep?” Dottie queried, the note of it high-pitched. “The boy almost drowned my Jane this morning.”

  I winced. “Ian’s having a tough time. Turns out he married a woman last night. A Farseer, as a matter of fact.”

  Dottie stared a moment before exclaiming, “He broke the curse!”

  “Not quite. Marriage is only part of it. She needs to love him, too.”

  “I have a spell that can help with that,” she mused aloud.

  I shook my head. “Can’t be magic. It has to be real.”

  “I know,” she muttered. “Curses are a delicate thing to play with. Could do more harm than good. But there must be a loophole. Maybe I could peek at him again.”

  “I’ll see if I can arrange it. Ian’s been hard to track down of late. When he’s not off being a kraken, I think the plan is to woo his wife.” I kept hoping it would be enough, but he was running out of time, and the curse had yet to show signs of faltering.

  “What were Lucifer’s exact orders to you?” Dotti
e asked, choosing to sit in a chair, putting herself out of reach.

  Since my nudity wasn’t sending her into flaming puddles of desire, I went for clothes.

  “I told you, I am supposed to watch for weird shit. He thinks there’s something bad coming to get him.”

  “There’s always something bad coming to get him. If he’s tired of it, he should learn to delegate more,” Dottie remarked.

  “His daughter handled a few catastrophes threatening the nine circles recently.”

  “She’s been acting as his general on the battlefield. Not the same as running the Pit.”

  “She did step in once.”

  “Only because Lucifer went cuckoo for a bit.” Dottie swirled a finger. “Way I hear it, his daughter vowed…never again.”

  “She’s not the only one who’s tried. He did abdicate his throne for a while there when his fake son took over as King of Hell.” I pulled on some swim shorts.

  “Didn’t last, though, did it? The devil enjoys his work.”

  “Don’t let him hear you say that.” Lucifer was likely to have Dottie silenced before someone overheard.

  The witch smirked. “Don’t you worry about me. The Lord of Hell and I have an understanding. Which is why I agreed to keep an eye on you.”

  I paused before grabbing a shirt. “Keep an eye on me? Those are your orders?”

  “The devil thinks you’re plotting against him and told me to stick close.”

  “That explains why you came running to my room. And here I thought it was because you wanted to say yes to my proposal.”

  “I am not marrying you. I am here because Lucifer knows you’re meeting with his wife.”

  “I had a feeling he did. What did he say? Did it end with ‘off with Shax’s head?’”

  “You’re not going to deny it?” Dottie eyed me, looking rather cross.

  “Nope.” I buttoned the shirt, only three of the fasteners, just enough to keep it from fluttering.

  “Why are you meeting Gaia in your room?” Dottie snapped. She cleared her throat. “I mean, Lucifer wants to know what reason you could possibly have for meeting his wife in secret.”

  “Not doing what your jealous eyes are accusing me of, that’s for sure,” I retorted.

  She tilted her chin. “This isn’t jealousy.”

  “So you wouldn’t lose your shit if you found out I was giving her a hand? Doing my best to please a goddess?”

  The color in Dottie’s cheeks amused, but before she could explode and sink the ship, I chuckled. “Relax. I’m helping her with a bit of research.”

  “Don’t you need a library for that?”

  “I do. But not the one in Hell. The tidbit I’m looking for is in Atlantis.”

  “If she’s only doing research, then why is she sneaking around?”

  “Because.”

  Dorothy’s gaze narrowed. “What exactly is she searching for?”

  “I am not at liberty to say.”

  “Must be bad if she won’t tell Lucifer.”

  “She’s worried he’ll overreact.”

  Dottie sighed. “Oh, crap on a stick. She’s doing something to protect him, which means when he finds out, he’ll be split between being pissed that she’s babying him, and maudlin because she loves him so much.”

  “Bingo.” I nodded. “She’s trying to prevent another of his mood swings.” The devil had been going through quite a few since he hit a certain epic milestone birthday.

  “And she thought sneaking around with another male would be better than telling him the truth?” Dottie snorted. “Lucifer is a powder keg set to go off. So, do yourself a favor and tell me what’s going on. What does she want you to find?”

  “I can’t tell you because you’ll just run back to Lucifer.”

  “I will not,” she huffed. She lied.

  I shook my head. “You are his minion. Tonight is the solstice, and I already know you’ll be dancing naked for him.” I’d learned about witches over the centuries. Curious about the one I’d lost.

  “I’m a witch. It’s expected of me.”

  “It’s old-fashioned.”

  “Maybe I like being old-fashioned.” She tossed her head.

  “If you were old-fashioned, you’d be married and wearing a skirt.” I paused. “To your ankles.”

  Her lips rounded. “That is sexist.”

  “And you are modern. As am I. I would prefer to know you’re dancing naked around a fire because you want to.”

  “That’s just it, though. I do like it. The freedom in having the air kiss my skin. The heat of the flames licking it. The decadence of it and embracing life. It’s fun. You should try it.”

  “Are you asking me to come dance naked by the light of the moon with you?” I arched a brow. “I accept.”

  She squeaked. “I was only saying that in jest.”

  “I am quite serious.”

  “You’ll be the only man. The warlocks think they’re above that kind of thing. It’s why witches can be stronger. The dark lord blesses us for the gift.”

  “Are you trying to uninvite me? Because that’s rude, which I guess is being done on purpose to please your lord, so I can choose to ignore your uninvite and just crash your naked bonfire party. Should I bring anything? Drinks? A joint?”

  “You aren’t acting at all as expected.” Her lips turned down.

  “And that’s frustrating you.”

  “Yes!” She made a sound of annoyance, almost a growl. She popped out of the chair and approached me, jabbing at my chest. “You are not the Shax I knew.”

  “I’m version five point six, Dottie.” I’d had to reinvent myself a few times before finding the me that fit best.

  “You’re impossible.”

  “I think the correct term is unique.”

  She stood poised in front of me, close enough that I could grab her for a kiss. Near enough for a slap if she didn’t like it. Instead, I waited.

  What would she do?

  “I need to go get ready for the fire tonight.”

  “How long does it take to strip?” I asked.

  “Well, considering I like to ensure all the hair on my body is gone…” She looked down at herself. At the vee of her legs.

  I might have stopped breathing.

  While I remained frozen, she left.

  But I knew where she’d be later—and utterly bare. I just didn’t expect to be delayed on the way there.

  My other nephew, Adexios, captain of the Sushi Lover, renowned for his mishaps at sea, came looking for me after dinner. “Uncle Shax, I need a hand with something.”

  “Did Ian wreck a piece of the ship?” While Killian used to have great control of his kraken, as the permanent change neared, the beast got stronger.

  “No, he’s fine. We did have a little incident with a passenger this morning during the swim, but she’s not pressing charges.”

  It reminded me of what Dottie had said earlier. “What happened? Who did Ian almost drown? Please don’t tell me it was his wife.”

  My nephew had pulled a squid out of his ass and managed to marry a Farseer, one of the few who could break his curse. Now if only they would fall in love for real in the next twenty-four hours, he’d be free.

  “Everyone is fine. We have a love-spelled locket on the loose, causing a bit of craziness. But Dorothy swears it won’t cause any permanent harm.”

  Wait, Dottie had cast a love spell? For whom? “I can help you find it.”

  “Maybe later. The problem I have is… Better I just show you. Come with me.”

  Curious, I followed my nephew even as the moon rose. By the baying howls and the smell of smoke, the solstice and full moon festivities had begun—without me.

  Surely, I could wrap up Adexios’s problem and still make it to the naked bonfire dancing part of the evening.

  We descended the many levels of the ship, using a utility elevator not available to guests. It went down, down, and then down some more. We stopped a level before the water zone
for the passengers who needed more than a tub of H2O for their needs.

  The tops of numerous pools shimmered, the waters cloudy with a film to provide privacy to those inside. From a far pool, a selkie heaved himself to the perforated deck, dripping water and swapping his seal skin for human. He rose and snared a robe from a hook, compliments of the ship.

  “When are you going to start explaining?”

  “Soon. I don’t want the others”—Adexios eyed the selkie and smiled as he walked past—“to know.”

  “Sounds ominous.”

  “I wouldn’t have bugged you otherwise.”

  Adexios waited until we passed the guest quarters and moved through a locked door to another section. The pools in this area were mostly covered in grates. Prisoners or catch of the day?

  “He was discovered by the chefs when they came to pick out some fish for dinner. We moved him to an empty vat.” Adexios pointed to the far end.

  “Who was discovered?”

  “Some kind of fish man. He won’t say who he is or where he comes from. Sweets has been trying to get him to talk, but she’s not had any luck.”

  “Sweets is here?” I brightened at the news. The sea monster had taken Adexios as a pet. Kind of a first. Given Ian’s impending dilemma, I’d brought him around for a visit, introduced them. Maybe having a friend when he turned all sea monster and had to live in the Styx would help.

  An eyeball on a purple stalk rose from the only open pool and blinked at me.

  “Hello, gorgeous. How has my favorite girl been?” I drawled.

  The eye craned for me, and I gave her soft lid and lashes a rub. “When are you going to ditch my nephew and come live in my pond?” I asked. “I just bought a bubble jet for it.”

  The rapid blinks purred the lashes over my skin.

  “Stop trying to steal my sea monster,” Adexios grumbled. “She’s mine.” A reminder that had Sweets bolting for Adexios and wrapping him in a hug. The man still had the ability to blush. “Love you too, Sweets. Now, business time. Show Shax our prisoner.”

  The eyestalk whipped over to the tank beside hers. I joined it and peeked down into the water. It didn’t have the oily sheen for privacy blocking my view, only a grate secured with a thick padlock. I saw a man sitting at the bottom of the vat. A fish man, his body hairless, a fin mohawking the top of his head, more fins around his arms and the backs of his legs.