Hell And High Water

by Angela Blythe

  They heard an unmistakable sound, one that could be nothing else. The couple looked at each other.

  ‘What are seagulls doing this far inland? The world’s gone mad,’ Jim said.

  ‘They probably got lost in the fog,’ Julia said absentmindedly. Jim looked at his wife. Obviously, the world wasn’t as mad as his wife.

  ‘Seagulls don’t get lost in the fog. They are always exactly where they want to be,’ Jim replied. Julia missed this and thinking she had told him the answer, carried on with her next conversation. She often switched her ears off; it was a lot easier sometimes.

  ‘The secret will be out at Friarmere Band by now. They will all know that you are joining them tomorrow night,’ Julia said. ‘I hope they like you.’

  ’They probably can’t contain themselves this morning. We might have to put barriers up, to keep my adoring fans away,’ Jim said, laughing loudly.

  With that, he decided to go out on the deck and check out the boat, something he did every morning. Jim swung the door open and stepped up onto the deck. The first thing he had to do was move Julia’s washing maiden, which was right outside the door. Next, he started to fiddle with the bits and bobs out there. He stood up, stretched and yawned. Something dropped off the side of the boat at the other end. Making a loud plopping noise. Jim had the briefest glance of what had made just entered the canal.

  ‘Jue come here quick!’ Jim shouted. Julia could tell by the sound of his voice that something was wrong. She rushed outside onto the foggy deck; her brows furrowed. Jim was looking the other way towards the back of the boat.

  ‘What’s up?’ Julia asked.

  ’Something was just on the side of our boat and has shot off into the water when it saw me. I heard it drop in,’ Jim informed her.

  ’I heard something at the side of the boat too, but I thought it was something you were doing,’ she said.

  ‘Me? No. I was up here. It was down there,’ Jim said, pointing. He leant over the boat and looked over. There were obvious undulations in the water, which made a large V travelling away from their narrowboat. There was no sign of the creature above the water, but something definitely had gone down there. It was travelling underneath the surface. From the size of the ripples in the water, it wasn’t small either. The ripples disappeared into the fog.

  ’It was probably a beaver or something, and you startled it,’ Julia said shrugging.

  ’When did you last see a beaver in the canal and also one that got onto a narrowboat during its morning stroll? Besides that, we would have seen a beaver on the surface swimming off!’ Jim said. ‘You know Julia, it does have a distinctive paddle tail!’

  ’Well go on then. You give me a better explanation,’ Julia said. ‘Are you saying that you think it was an intruder?’

  ‘No. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw it, but I didn’t realise in the fog that it was something that wasn’t supposed to be there. I wasn’t really looking at it, I was up here, dealing with this business. That’s after I had moved your tights anyway. It was dark, big and round. It wasn’t a person,’ Jim insisted.

  ’Don’t blame my tights for not seeing it. What about this, maybe it was someone in a wetsuit. A frogman?’ Julia offered.

  ’I don’t see why it would be,’ Jim said. ‘Although I suppose that is the best explanation.’

  He took a big breath. ‘If I catch any frogmen, sitting on my boat, I will be punching them in the nuts!’ Jim shouted loudly, shaking his fist in the air. ‘This is private property!’ Jim lowered his voice so that only Julia could hear. ‘I mean what if we had the curtains open and had been at it.’

  ‘He’d have had to be quick,’ Julia said under her breath.

  Jim took another last look up and down the canal. Everything was calm. The waters no longer rippled. There was nothing to be seen. The fog made everything quiet, and all sounds were muffled. The seagulls squawked again, and they both squinted upwards but could see nothing.

  ‘I shall be keeping my own beak out for intruders, and I want you to as well Jue,’ he said, pointing up at the seagulls. ‘On to more important matters, what’s for breakfast? I’m starving. Straight after we’ve eaten, I will have to get on the euph. I don’t want to show myself up tomorrow. After my scales, I will let you pick the delights I will play for you. That’s our morning sorted!’

  Julia stared back at him before answering. She would soon be hearing a very loud musical instrument, played at full volume, in a confined space. No doubt at the same time as she had the pleasure of doing the dishes. Julia was now sure he had finished speaking, so answered the question he had asked her at the beginning of his monologue.

  ‘Kedgeree,’ Julia stated simply and went back into the cabin to make it. She was right too; it did stay foggy all day.

  4 Pudding

  In the next couple of weeks, there was to be an exciting event in Moorston. A Wedding. The Groom was someone who Friarmere Band knew well. Miles had been part of their adventures throughout the previous winter. He was also a part of Moorston Brass Band. He had found himself a bride, Tammy, who a lot of them had already met. The two of them were happily tying the knot a week on Saturday.

  Friarmere Band had been advised everybody they knew from Moorston was invited. Without it being said out loud, this meant the friendly local vampires that lived hidden amongst the villagers.

  There were a few new members of Friarmere Band that did not know about these, and they did not have to until the time was right. That time would be very soon.

  Miles and Tammy had naturally invited their own families too. Some members lived far and wide. Out of the circle of trust. They had made the crucial decision that to help the concealment of the vampires, they would be having a late Wedding, just after dark. And furthermore, it would be in fancy dress.

  Miles had always been a fun-loving person, and the happy couple thought that this would make their Wedding even more special. Additionally, the Wedding pictures would be hilarious to look back on in the future.

  There had been much agonising from all the people invited, about the best costume to wear. Everyone wanted to be original and inventive. There was quite an open invitation to the Wedding and Reception. There would be a buffet for everyone in Moorston Bandroom. Kathy and Sally, who everyone knew from Melden worked in catering, so had been engaged for this. Miles and Tammy had also extended the invitation out to new members of Friarmere Band.

  This was what Martyn was discussing with the other Police Constable, during their evening patrol, which mainly consisted of a leisurely walk around the Village.

  As Martyn was unmarried and had no real girlfriend, he had decided to take the Police Constable, Ivy Silverwood, along as his friend. They had both ensured that they were off duty in the evening. Ivy was off all day, but Martyn had to work the afternoon and a couple hours in the evening. He would miss the ceremony but would be able to enjoy the party later.

  He had never met Miles or Tammy and had no idea about their special friends.

  ‘I can’t decide what I want to go as. I’ve been looking at what I’ve got in my wardrobe. I think I might have to get a few bits this Saturday. Have you decided on your costume?’ Ivy asked Martyn. Martyn nodded confidently.

  ‘Yes, I’ve got a really swish white jacket, dickie bow … oh, and I’m going to paint a moustache on and sweep my hair back with some Brylcreem,’ Martyn told her. ‘I’ll probably wear the trousers from my suit for the lower half.’

  ’So, who are you going to be?’ Ivy asked him.

  ’Rhett Butler of course,’ Martyn answered. ‘I don’t suppose I could persuade you to be my Scarlet O’Hara, can I?’

  ’That’s not me at all,’ Ivy said. ‘I’d be very uncomfortable like that. Your costume sounds like you’ve cobbled it together and there’s no way anyone could cobble together a Vivian Leigh dress. This is the thing with blokes, you can get away with a lot less. Do you know what anyone else is going as? You know, from the Band? I’d like to know where to pitch my costume
.’

  ’No, they’re playing their cards very close to their chest. Isn’t it lovely though Ivy, that this bloke they know from the other Brass Band is inviting us too? I’ve been told that I will soon get to know how they met. It’s a long and interesting story apparently but I’d like to know before the Wedding so that I can to put things in perspective,’ Martyn said.

  ’So would I. It’s probably not that interesting though Martyn. I wouldn’t get too excited if I were you. The lives we lead – we see so much more than the average person does. Humour them when they tell you, but I bet it’s as dull as dish-water,’ Ivy said.

  Ivy and Martyn were walking down Friarmere High Street. Towards them, on the way to the shop, strode Father Philip from St Dominic’s Church.

  ’Evening Father,’ Ivy said. ‘How are you? Are you well?’

  ’I’m very well,’ Father Philip said. ‘I just had a craving for Spotted Dick and custard, so I thought I’d wander out to the shops to see if I could find something like it. Sugar cravings – alas I’ve always had a sweet tooth.’ He patted the growing little stomach that he had developed above his slacks. ‘How are you two?’

  ’Oh, we’re fine. It’s a pity you didn’t get that craving earlier. I made a home-made jam sponge pudding, and there was some left which I ended up giving it to the cat,’ Ivy said, raising her eyebrows.

  ’I didn’t know that. You could have given it to me too,’ Martyn said. ‘Next time, make enough for us three – and the cat!’

  ‘This is our lot in life Martyn,’ Father Philip said. ‘Always just a bit too late for free pudding!’

  The three of them laughed, waved goodbye, and the two parties went their separate ways.

  Father Philip looked back at the two Police Officers. He was sure, as they were not local, that they had no idea of what was going on in the Village they patrolled.

  Father Philip had been getting a bad feeling for a few weeks. Maybe it was because it had been a while since anything terrible had happened, and the good times in Friarmere didn’t seem last long. He looked out towards the Park. Then up at the roofs, expecting to see a white face peeking down at him. A child of the night. Father Philip was almost sure something was going to happen soon. The dark days were coming. That usually meant the darker creatures too.

  The accidental meeting of the Priest and the two Police Officers had been studied. The watcher did not understand the words, it had no real language of its own, so could not hope to understand others. The drain at the side of the road was connected to the river. That was where it was, looking upwards from the grid.

  Even if Ivy, Martyn and Father Philip had sensed it was there, they would have had trouble seeing it. Black eyes, black body, black teeth. Inside a grid at night, it was virtually invisible.

  It was one of many different arrivals, exploring this new world. They found out more about it every day. It was bright, busy and had rich textures of every variety. Soon they would become familiar with Friarmere. Maybe feel confident enough to have an evening out and enjoy a meal.

  5 Spawn

  The following day was another foggy one but not as bad as the previous day. After School had ended, a group of teenage boys, including Bob and Adam, were hanging around by the river.

  They were sharing some sweets and bottles of cola from the shop while moaning about the teachers, sharing online gaming tactics and discussing girls. The general type of subjects that boys of that age talk about.

  Bob and Adam were talking about how they had feelings for their girlfriends and how they weren’t interested in anyone else since they had met them. None of the others had girlfriends, just hopeful ambitions with girls that they knew were probably out of their league.

  Soon most topics had been exhausted, so they drifted off home for their meals, and to do what little homework would stop them getting into trouble. Just one boy remained.

  Callum didn’t want to go home yet. He had loads of homework and couldn’t face opening his backpack and seeing the number of books inside. It felt like a wall that he could never crash through.

  Holding a large branch in his hands, he poked it randomly into the side of the riverbed, his only thoughts were about how awful it was to be a teenager and having everyone telling you what to do. Callum was convinced that life couldn’t get any worse.

  He sat there with the branch and his resentment for a long time. Eventually, he noticed that it was starting to go dark, and reluctantly decided that he would have to go home. As he got up, he saw something in the water.

  Uneven lumps that broke the surface, domed and glossy. This was just at the edge of the river, caught in the reeds. Callum took a couple of steps towards it and saw that it was like a kind of frogspawn.

  That’s weird he thought. Frogspawn is usually about in the Spring, and this is the autumn. He bent over to carefully examine the eggs. They didn’t seem the greyish clear colour of frogspawn, more like a milky white. They were definitely bigger as well. Never having seen toad spawn or anything else’s spawn, Callum didn’t know that this was something very unusual. He just knew it wasn’t frogspawn.

  Maybe it’s new, he thought. From some kind of sea monkey. It was at that point that he decided to take some home. Like most decisions that seem right at the time, this would be a great mistake. One he would pay dearly for in the end.

  Callum still had his empty coke bottle with him. He bent over to rinse the bottle out in the river and scooped up three of the eggs inside. That would give them a bit of room to live he thought. Callum added more river water. He didn’t replace the top so that they could breathe.

  This cheered him up. He could look at this while he was doing his homework. Callum happily went home with his new pets. How quickly life could change for better or for worse.

  There had been much discussion behind-the-scenes as to when Band would inform Martyn and the new member Jim, about previous happenings with them and their Village. The consensus was that they would do it tonight, as Martyn had so far proved to be trustworthy, unlike the previous Police Officer in their Band.

  It was decided that Gary, Wee Renee and Pat would tell Martyn immediately after evening rehearsal.

  Alan had already told them that he was going to take Jim for a beer after the rehearsal and get his thoughts about his new Band. Because Jim was going to be living in the midst of it, it was agreed that Alan should also tell Jim about the other things that he had let himself in for. They thought this was only fair for Jim to know straight away and Alan had vouched for him.

  At that evening's Band rehearsal, Jim was introduced around and was already joking and making friends with everyone there. Several of the Band members knew him, and as he was a big friend of Alan’s, he was quite cheeky with him, joking and laughing. It was a very happy rehearsal. Jim was an instant hit with every member of the Band.

  After rehearsal, Gary immediately put his hand on Martyn’s shoulder and asked if he could have a quiet word. The way that Gary said this, Martyn imagined that this was probably an official Police matter. Gary sounded serious

  ‘Where do you want to do it?’ Martyn asked.

  ‘If we can wait until everyone’s gone home, and then just have a chat outside. It’s private. Are you walking home?’ Gary asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Martyn said.

  ‘So am I’ Gary said. ‘With a couple of others. They want a word too.’

  ‘About the same matter?’ Martyn asked.

  ‘Yes,’ Gary said.

  ‘Fair enough,’ Martyn said.

  Everyone put their instruments away and those that were driving, slowly drove off through the fog. Jim went in Alan’s car to the Pub. The remainder that weren’t staying to talk to Martyn made their way home on foot.

  The night was gloomy and dark, with low visibility but Gary and Wee Renee had a torch each. Their lights made glowing yellow balls in the fog. Pat and Jackie were with them too. Jackie had parked at Wee Renee’s house, so they were walking back with her.

  ‘Martyn, we
have decided that you need to know some important facts about Friarmere,’ Gary started.

  ’And the surrounding areas,’ Wee Renee said, ‘don’t forget that.’

  ’Yes, the area we are talking about is kind of like a triangle shape,’ Gary said.

  ’Rene’s tinsel triangle in fact,’ Pat added. The four people laughed, and Martyn felt that he was out of the loop or part of some private joke. This irritated him slightly. ‘If you’re lucky, Rene might let you look at it!’ Pat laughed loudly.

  ‘Pat!’ Wee Renee reprimanded, but kindly.

  ’Are you going to tell me what this is about?’ Martyn asked. ‘I’m on duty in a couple of hours, and I haven’t eaten yet.’