Hell And High Water

by Angela Blythe

  ’Arrgghh!’ Pat shouted, launching herself at the Kelpies holding her sister. The two Kelpies who were inside must have been scared off by Pat’s battle cry as they ran out the boat and jumped straight into the canal.

  ‘Julia!’ Jim shouted.

  ‘I’m ok love, help Jackie,’ Julia responded from inside the boat.

  Pat continued to hit the Kelpies, as did Jim. Saving Jackie from becoming a captive or a meal for the Kelpies was the only priority now. Jim got one off, but another one seemed like he was prepared to hold on for dear life. Jim started to hit him around the head, and he hissed at Jim attacks.

  Jim carried on bashing and so did Pat. She had a hand firmly around Jackie’s arm now, and she wasn’t going to let go, they would have to pull the both of them in. Jackie was also trying her best to wallop them but was caught in several places from the Kelpie claws.

  Finally, the Kelpie that Jim had been hitting either died or passed out, as he dropped into the water seemingly unconscious. The one remaining Kelpie holding Jackie knew he had no chance and dived in after his brother.

  Jackie flopped down on the deck of the boat and began to cry. Pat knelt beside her, putting her arm around her sister. Jim watched the riverbank the whole time. There were few sounds. The shrieks of glee, as the Kelpie’s took their sister back. These diminished as each one disappeared beneath the surface of the river. What remained were the occasional sobs from Jackie, the lapping water and the night.

  ‘Let’s get her in, Pat,’ Julia said gently.

  Jim, Julia and Pat helped Jackie inside and laid her down on Jim’s bed. Julia put the kettle on, and Jim and Pat kept a constant watch through the windows of the narrowboat.

  ’Wee Renee will go mad that we’ve lost her Kelpie,’ Pat said.

  ’Don’t worry about that. She would go mad if you had lost your sister! We’ll work it out. Let’s just try and get through the night,’ Jim said.

  Early that morning just as it was getting light, Michael went to check on his small fry, as he called them. He knew they were squirmy curious little devils and according to The Fellus, they wanted people to control.

  Wary of this, he had put elastic bands around his trouser bottoms and sleeves. Michael put cotton wool in his ears and up his nose. He should be able to fend them off like that, prevent them from getting onto his skull. The other areas of entry, he hoped would be covered by wearing two layers of his favourite Y-Fronts on the outside of his trousers.

  He checked himself out in the mirror, looking for any weak spots. No! He had ignored the obvious. They could still get in through his eyes and mouth. The mouth he could keep closed, for short periods.

  Michael frantically thought of how he could protect himself, finally deciding on a mask made out of tinfoil and a spare pair of glasses. All those years watching Blue Peter hadn’t been wasted after all.

  Unfortunately, this set-up hampered his senses quite a bit. He was basically half deaf, half blind and didn’t dare to speak. Even considering all that, the protection was necessary. Although still small, he had the idea these were very dangerous. He didn’t know what they wanted to get up to, but it wasn’t going to be with him.

  Even on his way there, before he had got inside, Michael could see some of them squelching around on the inside of the glass. They seemed to be a little bigger now, maybe as big as a cherry, whereas yesterday they were about as big as a pea. That was some rapid growth. He wouldn’t want to house these here for long. Even if some died or got eaten after fighting with the others that would leave about fifty. What would happen once they were as big as beachballs? Michael figured that it couldn’t be the air that had nourished them. They must have been feeding on something.

  In the early morning light, they looked quite active and they seemed to be thriving in the greenhouse. It was warm and moist. They had been making their own little habitat in there.

  Some had crawled out of the oil drum and were on the glass of the greenhouse eating the moss inside, making clean patches on the filthy glass. Michael thought that if he could train them not to try and mind-control everybody, he might be able to make some money from that talent. Some were on the tendrils of weed from the roof, even dangling down like little spiders with some sort of viscous grey web. Others were wandering around the floor seeing what they might be able to pick up. Having seen robot floor cleaners in the shops, Michael also made a mental note of that potential talent.

  Careful as not to stand on any, he walked through the greenhouse and took a glance into the oil drum full of rainwater. There were some sickly-looking ones in there, clinging onto the side of the drum.

  ’Don’t you like plants?’ Michael asked them out loud.

  All the creatures seemed to stop and freeze. He thought they were all looking at him. It was not a nice feeling. He preferred it when he had seen them going about their own business.

  ‘I’ll just see what I can get for you if you’re not vegetarians. You look a bit peaky,’ Michael said to the oil drum dwellers. He reversed out once again checking his feet and up above every so often. He was glad of this protection and would be putting it on again whenever he had to come in. He didn’t trust these little suckers.

  Michael shut the door quickly behind him and put the concrete block against it. He walked back to the house wondering what he could give them. Michael had no idea of what they would like to eat. He had never even had a goldfish.

  There was some ham that he intended to make sandwiches with later. He would try them with some of that first. Michael picked up several slices of the roast ham in his fingers and made his way back to the greenhouse.

  After going in, he noticed that they were all back to their usual activities. Namely squirming over the glass and running up and down plants.

  ‘Grub up!’ He shouted, and they all halted again.

  He tore the ham up into several bits and threw it into the water. It plopped in, and he watched as the swimming ones dived to eat it.

  ‘Ah, so that’s what you’re after is it? Protein. I thought so. It’s a nice bit of ham, that is,’ Michael said. He could see movement towards him and realised that all the jellyfish type creatures were making their way back to the water drum to eat the ham. He could see some trying to get to him as well, as he was still holding the rest of it.

  ‘You can have some too,’ Michael said throwing the ham onto the greenhouse floor.

  He moved backwards again, watching his step and exited the greenhouse as quickly as possible. I’ll have to be careful of them, Michael thought. Never mind The Fellus saying we are going to use them. It’s me that’s taking all the risks.

  Wee Renee got up early that day too. After a wash and getting dressed, she had some muesli and took her jam jar, with the holes in the lid, back down to the river to collect some more spawn. She would call in on Jim and Julia and ask how they were doing with the Kelpie.

  All was quiet near the river when she got there. It looked like nothing of any note had happened as she collected five eggs from the growing clumps of spawn in the river.

  As soon as she walked over to Jim’s boat, she could see that there was a difference from the last time she had seen it. There were scratches up the side of the boat and there was the odd bit of riverweed dangling over the sides. When she got closer, on the deck of the boat, she could see that there were a few spots of blood.

  ’Oh no,’ she gasped. Wee Renee held onto the side of the boat feeling weak, she had let them down. Fearing for the boating couple, she went inside, expecting the worst. To her relief, she found Jim, Julia, Pat and Jackie still alive, but without their captive.

  After quite a few painkillers, Jackie had finally dropped off on Jim’s bed and they didn’t want to move her. All of them were tired and worn out.

  ‘What happened?’ Wee Renee asked. They told the story of the previous night, and she listened carefully, without interrupting them.

  ’How is Jackie now?’ Wee Renee asked, her eyes watching the sleeping woman.

&
nbsp; ‘Not bad. But those cuts on her arm from the claws look like they are already infected. There was green slimy gunk where the claws had been. How are we going to explain that to the Doctor?’ Pat asked, concerned.

  ‘Don’t worry about that. I have an ancient tome that sets out how you treat and recover from all sorts of supernatural mishaps,’ Wee Renee said. ‘I’ll fix her myself.’

  ‘Do you really have a book about that?’ Julia asked.

  ‘Aye. That’s how I brought vampires back to life before. Don’t worry. I’m quite capable. Back to this problem.’ Wee Renee said, taking a deep breath.

  ‘Yes, we made a mistake in doing what we did. We shouldn’t have held it so close to its source. We will transport the next one further away, so they can’t hear them. That will allow us to study the beast in safety,’ Wee Renee stated.

  ’You don’t honestly want to do it again do you?’ Julia asked.

  ‘You are in danger here and of course; you can move on. But Julia, why should you? If you do leave, someone else will come here, and the Kelpies or other nasties can kill them. We’ve got to get this sorted,’ Wee Renee explained. That was true. It was for the safety of everyone, not just them that Friarmere Band got to the bottom of this.

  ’They’ll not expect us to strike so soon, the wee devils. I’m going to go straight over to that shop and get some more rope and cucumber. As soon as I can, I’m getting another one. Pat, have a think about where we can keep it while I go over to the shop. I’ll expect a plan when I get back,’ Wee Renee instructed.

  21 Hook

  By the time Wee Renee returned with several cucumbers and rope, Pat, Jim and Julia had come up with a plan between them.

  ‘We’ve got half a plan,’ Pat said.

  ‘Tell me which half you have,’ Wee Renee said.

  ’We thought that, after what went on before, the Kelpie’s might be reluctant to come out of the water for the cucumber. Jim had the idea that we could put a fishing hook in the cucumber and then we can either draw the Kelpie away from the water, pulling the cucumber further and further in the grass.’ Pat said.

  ‘Or if it actually takes the bait, the hook in its mouth will snag it – that’s a sure thing then. We can hide behind the reeds again, to lull it into a false sense of security. No humans need to get caught up in the capture,’ Jim said.

  ’That’s safer as well,’ Julia said.

  ’And as to where we keep it?’ Wee Renee asked.

  ’I have got an old bath in my Anderson shelter. It can be tied in there and kept wet if required. It’s far enough away from the river that they won’t hear it. The problem… and this is where we have come unstuck, is how do we get it there?’ Pat asked.

  ’Yes, because it’s not coming in here again,’ Julia interrupted. Wee Renee thought for a moment.

  ’I’ll get Joe with his van or Gary with his Land Rover to take it as soon as the beast is trapped, is that okay?’ Wee Renee asked.

  ’That sounds great,’ Pat said. Wee Renee opened her carrier bag. Inside were five cucumbers.

  ‘I thought we might have some false starts myself,’ she admitted.

  Jim had two fishing rods attached to the roof of his narrowboat. He untethered them, and they attached a cucumber onto each hook, embedding them deep inside the vegetable so that they could not be seen.

  Pat unwrapped the rope, and with Julia staying behind to watch Jackie, the three of them went over to the river.

  ‘Let’s activate these,’ Wee Renee said. She snapped the end off both cucumbers so the fresh smell would enter the water. They laid the cucumbers well into the river just beyond where the grass ended. The fishing line was wound out, and they brought both rods around the edge of the tall grass and sat down on a blanket. Now they just had to wait.

  ’I hope this doesn’t take too long,’ Pat whispered.

  ’Me too,’ Wee Renee agreed. ‘I’ve got somewhere to be later, and we’ve got to get that devil to your place, make them comfortable and settle them in.’

  ’Settle them in? After last time, and what they have done to my sister! Listen Rene, have a word with yourself! If we find we can’t communicate with it, keeping it alive is useless. Just kill it off,’ Pat said.

  ’Did you see how many of them there were last night, Pat?’ Jim asked.

  ‘Lots,’ Pat answered.

  ‘Surely, we can’t do that to all of them, Pat. And what do we do with all the bodies?’ Wee Renee asked.

  ’If they taste like cod, that won’t be a problem will it?’ Jim said. Pat laughed.

  ‘Not if we have enough taters for all of the chips to go with them,’ Pat chuckled.

  Julia wandered over at lunchtime with a plate of sandwiches, and a tarpaulin that Jim used to protect items in bad rain.

  ’I was thinking if it does get trapped, in broad daylight, you might need to cover it with something until the van gets here,’ Julia said. What she meant and what everyone knew she meant, was that there was no possibility that even while they were waiting for transport, that it would be going onto the boat.

  Jim held his windlass. Pat and Wee Renee had something to hit them with too. Wee Renee had taken an item off the boat in her dire need for a weapon – a potato masher. They decided that she should be the one to wield the tarpaulin instead. Pat expressed her wish to go and get her club hammer, but Wee Renee said that it would probably prove instantly fatal to the Kelpie.

  As they could not see the river from their hiding place, they didn’t know whether something was coming or not. The three of them would have wait to see that the lines were being pulled before they were alerted.

  The female had eaten nearly all the cucumber before she got caught, straight through the roof of her mouth. She could not budge it. She started to try and remove it with her hands and began to panic, this jerked the line frantically, and the three trappers jumped up quickly.

  ‘Catch it before it swims away!’ Wee Renee shrieked. Jim grabbed the rod so that it would not escape. Wee Renee ran around to throw the tarpaulin over it.

  It was so shocked that it was had been hooked in the mouth, a very new experience, that it was not expecting the yank from the fishing rod. To save the roof of its mouth, it jerked forward further onto the grass.

  Wee Renee had put up the tarpaulin in front of her face, to get some height on it, and from under her feet. She tried to throw it, but it did not work, landing two feet away, like a punctured parachute.

  She grabbed it quickly without thinking and just threw herself on top of the beast along with the tarp. Now held by Wee Renee’s weight, Jim let go of the rod. He and Pat thumped it on the head a couple of times. Once with Jim’s windlass and once with a large thermos flask belonging to Pat. This had the desired effect and it immediately stopped struggling.

  ’We’ve done it again,’ Wee Renee said, jumping up and down.

  ‘Like shelling peas, Rene,’ Pat said.

  ’Come on quick,’ Jim said, ‘before anyone sees it. Let’s take it to just the other side of the boat on the path. We’ll cover it with some stuff until we can get transport.’

  They wrapped their captive up in the tarpaulin, tucking it underneath then quickly tying the rope around to secure it. The three of them carried it over.

  Pat and Jim started to pile stuff on top in case someone was walking along the canal path with their dog and could see it was clearly a body. Now it looked like Jim was tidying his boat out. He put loads of stuff in a pile on top of it as Wee Renee ran across to the Hardware Shop to see if Joe was there and ask if they could use his van.

  Luckily for Wee Renee and Joe, there was only him and Rick in the shop. A good time to have no customers.

  Rick had told Joe a little about what had gone on as Joe was on the fringe of their group. Wee Renee burst into the shop and the two men knew straight away that there was a problem.

  ’We’ve caught another one,’ Wee Renee said.

  ’Why do you need two?’ Rick asked, frowning.

  ’Th
e other one was rescued, and they hurt Jackie,’ Wee Renee said, a little desperately.

  ‘Oh,’ Rick said.

  ’So, we had to catch another one, and we’ve got it under a tarpaulin on the canal path by Jim’s boat. We need transport to Pat’s house. She is going to keep it in her garden shed. Are you and your van available Joe?’ Wee Renee asked.

  Joe was excited to see this Kelpie thing that Rick had been telling him about. Although Rich had only heard about it and had not had the pleasure of meeting it.