Live by the Sun, Love by the Moon

by J.T Jackson

  “Sure.”

  “Where to? Meraviglioso?”

  “No, we just went there last week.”

  “Where then?”

  “How about McDonald's” A big smile comes across my face. I know he doesn't eat at places normal people do. Only the best of the best.

  He looks unsure before answering.

  "Ok."

  When we get there he stares at the menu with such confusion.

  "What you gonna get?" I ask him. Nudging him a little.

  "I don't know. What's good here? What do you recommend?"

  “Well, for you sir, I would recommend the Big Mac.”

  “And what does that consist of?"

  I've never explained what a Big Mac was before.

  “It's like two hamburger patties with pickles and lettuce and onions, cheese with their 'secret sauce'. All on three buns.”

  “That doesn't sound very healthy.”

  "That's because it isn't. Get it!”

  “What are you getting?"

  "I am going to get... A quarter pounder with cheese.”

  The line moves and it's our turn to order.

  “Hi, what can I get you today?”

  “Can we get a number one with a diet coke, a number two with cheese and a regular coke and two Oreo mcflurries?"

  "Is that for here or to go?”

  “To go?” I say but also with question in my voice. I look back at Ian to make sure he was ok with it.

  “Ok your total is 18.95.”

  I see Ian pull out his wallet, and I push his hand back down.

  “I got this.” I pull out a 20 dollar bill and hand it to the cashier. She hands me back 1.05 and tells us our order will be up shortly.

  "I told you I was gonna get you back for buying me lunch on the first day. I keep my word." I say to him. He just smiles.

  -

  We go back to the office to eat. We sit on the floor because the desk is covered with papers.

  Ian opens up his box to his sandwich and just looks at it for a few moments. I watch patiently.

  "Here goes nothing.” He lifts the sandwich and places it in his mouth and takes a bite.

  “How is it?” I ask nervously.

  “It's good.” He says while taking another bite.

  All through lunch we just told jokes, talked about the case a little. And then silence passes over us.

  "You know, I realize that I've never asked you about your parents before.” He says taking a bite of ice cream.

  The whole mood changes. I'm glad he's never asked me before, I try to avoid talking about it too much. I don't say anything at first. Trying to figure out how to put it. I never talk about my parents to anyone. Toby probably knows the most and that's not a lot. What he does know is because he was around when it happened.

  “Well, my parents had me when they were both pretty young. They're were crazy about each other. But not good for each other. They got into a lot of mess. Drugs and alcohol stuff. When my mother found out she was pregnant with me, she wanted to turn her life around. For my father, I was more of an inconvenience than an influence. I think he resented me for it. I wouldn't say he hated me. Because in order to hate someone, you still have to have some kind of feelings or emotions toward them. He didn't love me. Like none.”

  I pause for a second, choking back tears I feel building up in my throat.

  “When I was five, my mother got really sick and he split. I haven't seen him since then.”

  I force a smile at the end. To try to mask my pain. But before I know it. Tears are slipping down my face. Ian comes to the side of me and wipes my face.

  “Shh..shh.” He whispers to me. And draws me into him. Now I'm full blow crying. Which is something I never do. Let alone in front of people. A man on top of all of that. I rest my head against his chest and I can feel my tears soaking into his shirt. He cradles my head against him with one hand and is rubbing my back with the other. The rhythm of his breathing is soothing. And I try to match it with my own. The tears stop pouring down but I don't move from his chest. He moves his hand from my back to my face and pulls it up so my eyes meet his. My breathing stops. It's like I'm seeing him for the first time again. Seeing his face. The perfect roundness of it. The shade of green and brown that flicker in his eyes. The glow of his light caramel toned skin. It's all too much for me to take in. This man is truly beautiful. I don't think I noticed it before. And it could be that I'm just emotionally distraught right now. I reach up for him and kiss him. A half a second later, I jerk back. Remembering who I was. Who he was. Where we were. His face doesn't change. He's still staring back at me. And then this time, he leans down and kisses me. I kiss back. I turn my body so I'm completely facing him and throw my arms around his neck. He grabs the small part of my back with both of his hands, and lays me down on the floor fully. Hovering above me. He moves his hand down the side of me then back up. Caressing my face. I move my hands from his neck to his chest. Then I push him back.

  Chapter Ten

  “No no no.” I whisper to him. He just looks down at me.

  “We… Shouldn't… We can't do this you know."

  “I know.” He says. But then he starts kissing my cheek then my neck, my shoulders.

  “We can't because... You know...”

  He nods his head but he's still kissing me. I want to want him to stop, but I don't.

  “You know… This is wrong... You know?” My brain isn't processing fast enough for me to think of the right words to say.

  “This is wrong, right?" I ask again.

  “Yeah, but it feels right, doesn't it?” He holds his head up and looks at me again. I prop myself up on my elbows forcing him to sit back on his knee. Still straddling over me.

  "No,... I mean yes, yes it feels right but it isn't."

  “Why not. What's stopping you?” There's so much innocents in his eyes. Like he truly doesn't understand why.

  “Umm, your girlfriend and the fact that you're my boss. For the next eight weeks anyway.”

  He runs his hand across his face. Like he just woke up from a night of no sleep. He lays himself across the floor. Staring up at the ceiling. I do the same. We sit in silence for a few moments. Then his phone rings. We both pop up and he rushes over to his desk.

  "Ian… Yes… oh yeah, I forgot. Yes, yes. Ok. Thanks." He puts the phone down.

  "I forgot about the party tomorrow."

  "Oh." I say. Not really interested just trying not to sound rude.

  "It's a company party. Birthday party for me. You're going too."

  "Oh, no thank you. But Happy birthday."

  "I wasn't asking."

  "Well, you couldn't possibly be telling me." I stand up and say.

  "As your boss, I was. There are going to be some people there that I would love for you to meet. Talk about the case a little."

  "We talk about that case everyday, all day."

  "I know, but, you have such a beautiful insight on it and well, honestly it will make me look good."

  "I'll think about it." I give him a half smile.

  "Great. Do you have something to wear?"

  "Um, yeah, I think I have a dress somewhere."

  "Oh, no. It's a themed party. Masquerade. You'll need a gown."

  "I don't own one."

  He opens up his desk drawer and grabs his wallet and pulls outs a credit card. He hands it to me.

  "Here. Go get yourself something nice."

  "You're not buying me a dress." I snap at him.

  "Again, I wasn't asking. It's a company card. It's here for things like this. Please take it."

  I really didn't want to take it. I don't know why. Even though he said it was a company card, I still felt like I was accepting it from him. I stand up and walk over to the desk. I grab all my stuff before grabbing the card.

  "Pick something pretty. I like blue." He said laughing a little.

  "I hate dresses." I scold at him

  "Then this should be interesting. You do
n't have to come in tomorrow morning, most of the office is gonna be closed anyway. I'll just see you at the ball. Do you need a driver."

  "I have a car."

  "Are you really going to want to drive in a gown?"

  I pause and think for a second. I hate when he makes sense. He sees it on my face.

  "I'll have one pick you up at 9. Until tomorrow."

  I walk out. With those words echoing in my mind again. And that kiss.

  Chapter Eleven

  I don't know the first thing about buying a gown. I've never worn one. Before going shopping, I decided I'm going to see my mom. She was always good at the girly things I wasn't.

  "A ball. That sounds exciting." She says.

  "Yeah, it should be a blast and a half." I say sarcastically.

  "Lulu. I mean it."

  "Yeah, ma, I know, but…"

  "But nothing girl. You're gonna go. You know you never had a prom and stuff like that, looking after me and leaving school. This is like one. Only better."

  My mom always had a positive outlook on everything. She never took anything negatively. It made me mad sometimes but overall it's been a good thing.

  "I don't even know what I'm supposed to look for."

  "Just find something cute and something that you like."

  "I don't know what I like."

  "You will when you see it." She smiles weakly at me. I can't help but smile back. Although the thought of shopping for a gown is not very appealing to me.

  I look online for shops that sell ballroom gowns. They're a few near by. I hope I only have to go to one, but I write a couple down just in case.

  The first shop I go to is Bella's boutique. It was small, but full with dresses and gowns everywhere. From the floor to the ceiling. When I walk in, I am greeted by a young woman dressed like she's 15. She had on a flowery mini skirt and a pink tank top. No shoes.

  "Welcome to Bella's Boutique. I'm Grace, Whatcha looking for today."

  "Um, I need a gown."

  "A gown. Great. What's the occasion?"

  "It's a ball. For a company birthday party thing."

  "Aw, amazing! Well do you know what you're looking for?"

  "No." I run my hand through my hair just to show her how stressful this is gonna be.

  "That's ok. We'll get you in something really nice!"

  She looked at me up and down and then start walking towards a wall of dresses.

  "Your color is definitely a royal blue. It will go great against your skin." She hold a piece of blue fabric up to my arm. Crazy she picked that color, since Ian said he likes blue.

  "Yep. This is the color. Ok, now the style. Do you have a nice back?"

  "I don't know." Who knows if they have a nice back or not? I've never looked at it and said,'yep, I got a sexy back.' That's weird.

  "Well, lets see. Are your comfortable with your body?"

  "Yeah." Of course I'm comfortable with my body. I dance half naked for people all the time. She probably would think I'm crazy if I told her that.

  "Ok." She picks something off of a hanger and hands it to me.

  It's a nude colored tube top looking top and a pair of short. Almost underwear.

  "There's a dressing room in the corner. If you could put these on, then I'll be able to see your body better and we can measure you and everything."

  I do as she says. When I come back out. She measures me and starts pulling out dresses. Mostly 'royal blue'. But also yellows and browns. She said I did in fact have a nice back, so all the gowns are strapless. Long ones, short ones. Ones with jewels and some with beads. By the time she was done pulling. She probably had 8 dresses ready for me. I tried on five before I found it. I came out of the dressing room in a royal blue ballroom style dress. It was kinda big, but it flowed beautifully. It had sparkles all over the top of it. When I stepped out, Grace stood up from her chair and looked like she was about to cry.

  "Perfection. This is it. Do you love it, or do you love it?"

  "I love it."

  "Give it a spin."

  I turn slowly in the dress, then again faster.

  "Great, now, we need a mask. We don't want anything to distracting from the dress, cause it's simply gorgeous on you. So I pick this out while you were changing." She hands me a simple white mask. No jewels, no color nothing. I put it on and stand in the mirror. I almost take my own breath away.

  "Told you. Perfection at it's best."

  "Wow!" That's all I could say. Wow.

  "Yeah wow."

  I take the mask back off and just stare into the mirror.

  "Oh crap, make up. How are you gonna do your makeup?" Grace asked.

  "I don't know."

  She let out a sigh.

  "I don't usually do this for customers but I really like you, come back here before the ball, I'll do your makeup. For free."

  "Really."

  "Yes."

  "Thanks."

  "Ok, but you gotta pay for the dress.” She smiles and I laugh.

  The dress and mask total came to 1500 dollars. Thank you company credit card.

  When I get home, I'm so tired from the day, I put the dress in my closet and pass out on my bed.

  Chapter Twelve

  "This color so matches your eyes."

  Grace says as she brushes eyeshadow on my eye. It's almost the same color as my dress. With just a little glitter. She even did my hair for me. She put it all up in a bun with little diamond bobbi pins. All around it.

  "You are going to be breaking necks and hearts tonight girly." She says to me before I leave.

  "Thank you again Grace, for all your help."

  "Of course. It was a pleasure. Take a lot of pictures for me."

  "Ok."

  -

  I start getting a little nervous about standing outside waiting for the car to come, when I look into the sky. It looks like it's ready to storm.

  But Right at nine o clock a limo pulled up to my apartment. A man in a black suit gets out and opens the back door for me.

  “Thank you.” I say while he helps me in. A limo? Ian said he was sending a car. What does one person need with a whole limo? Once I adjust myself in, I notice a piece of paper with my name on it sitting on the bar.

  “Hey, I know you're probably thinking to yourself, 'this isn't a car.' But I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable. See you when you arrive.

  -Ian”

  Now he's in my head. I don't think I like that very much.

  We pulled up to this grand castle looking building. Lights all around the outside and inside. It's the biggest place I've ever seen. The driver gets out again and helps me out of the car. I lift my dress and walk up the stairs into the “castle”.

  When I get in, I'm standing at the top of a grand staircase. People all down below me. I stare out and look. Before moving down the stairs. Carefully. Last thing I want to do right now is fall on my ass. When I'm almost to the bottom of the stairs, I trip on my dress. A man in an all black tux and a black mask catches me. A smile creeps across his face and I smile back. He hold his hand out to me and I reach and grab it.

  "Thank you." I say. He takes the mask off and it's Ian.

  “ Wow. You look amazing.” He kisses both sides of my face and leads me to the floor.

  "Your entrance was great too." He jokes. I hit him on the arm.

  “You clean up nicely yourself. Where are we going?”

  Already knowing what the answer is.

  “To dance.” Of course we are.

  “I just got here.”

  “So we dance.” He takes his hand and grabs my back pushing me closer to the floor.

  “I can't.” I said shaking

  “It's my birthday. Of course you can.”

  “No, I mean I can't, I don't know how.”

  “I'll show you then.” He stands in front of me and grabs one hand. Moving my other to his shoulder and his other on my back.

  “One back, one left, one up, one right.” We start moving in a
box like pattern.

  “Simple right.”

  I calm down and repeat the moves.

  “Good. But maybe you should let me lead. I am the man.”

  “But maybe I wanna led.”

  “Then you should have been a man.” I laugh a little. Relaxing a little more too. We move to the sound of violins and pianos playing. Like in a fairy tale movie. I felt like a princess too.

  “So how was the limo?”

  “It was fine. Not a car, but it was fine.”

  “Good I got it, you need a lot of room for that dress.” He looks at the dress and then back to me.

  “Yeah, it's kinda big. I like it though.”

  “You look beautiful in it.” He kisses my cheek.

  “Thank you.” I blush a little. I don't think a man has ever told me I look beautiful. I mean being a dancer has gotten me called a lot of things. Beautiful wasn't one. Growing up, I was always just one of the guys. The cute little tom-boy. That ran around with the boys and everyone would say, 'Aw, that cute. She's so cute.' But now, I'm being called beautiful.

  When the song ended, Ian takes my hand again and leads me to the bar.

  "I forgot to bring you a birthday present." I say to him.

  “It's ok, you being here is enough of a gift. Two champagnes please.”

  “I.. Can't drink. Remember?"

  "It's fine. They don't check I.D and you're not driving. I was 19 once you know.”

  “Yeah like five minutes ago. You know your not that much older than me.” He grabs the champagne and hands one to me.

  “Old enough to order my own champagne.” He smirks at me. And takes a sip.

  “Now you're teasing me.” And I take a sip too.

  A woman walks over and runs her hand down Ian's back from behind him. She has long blonde hair. She's wearing a long white strapless dress with the side cut out. Showing most of her skin.

  “Babe, where did you go?” She looks over at me and his smile disappears.

  “I was talking with Lulu, she just got here. Liz, this is Luna Stone. She's the new intern at the office. Luna, this is Liz... My… Girlfriend.”

  “Stop kidding around Ian, I'm his fiancé.” She holds her hand up so I can see the ring that is resting on her finger. I snap a look at Ian, then back to her.

  “That's beautiful. Congratulations.” Fake smile on.

  The ring was huge. Like a golf ball was sitting on her hand. I was a little surprised to hear her introduce her self as Ian's fiancé. This was news to me. He never said that before.

  “Thank you. Ian... Daddy's waiting.” She pulls on him then walks away.

  “I'll be right there.” He says after. I take a gulp of the champagne.

  “Sorry about that.”