An Amish Mother for His Twins

by Patricia Davids

  He wiped at the wetness on his cheeks. “So I forgive you, liebling. Rest in peace.”

  He turned away and walked down the hill with a lightness in his heart that he hadn’t known for nearly a year. At last, he was free.

  * * *

  Maisie washed the muck and pond smell from her long hair at the kitchen sink with cold water while she waited for her bath water to heat up. She had every pot full of water and the stove on high.

  She shouldn’t be this upset. Nathan hadn’t meant to call her by Annie’s name, but it hurt, anyway. Closing her eyes, she faced her sad desire. She wanted to be back in Nathan’s arms just for a moment. Even if they were both exhausted and soaking wet in smelly pond water. She chased the image from her mind. Had he been holding her? Or had he been holding Annie?

  She wanted his concern to be for her, but she would never be sure if he was thinking about her or if he was thinking about her sister.

  She wasn’t going to ask him. She wasn’t going to beg for his attention the way she had begged for John’s in a hopeless effort to make her marriage into something it hadn’t been.

  What she needed was to get away. Not from the babies, but from Nathan. She needed her own place, where she didn’t have to hide her feelings. She could pretend for the few minutes that they would meet each day that she was fine.

  She took a quick bath in lukewarm water because she was too impatient to wait for the water to get hot. She would go see Lilly today. She prayed her friend hadn’t already rented the little ivy-covered cottage. It would be perfect for her and the babies and close enough to the cabin to make it easy for her to share their care with Nathan.

  She dried off, emptied out the tub and took her clothing out to the washing machine. She saw Nathan’s clothes piled on a chair beside the washer. She tossed everything in together and went back to clean up her mess in the kitchen. She had no choice but to wear her hair down. It wouldn’t dry if she put it up or braided it. She used a kerchief to cover her head and tied it at the nape of her neck. Then she went to the front door, took a deep breath and stepped out. Nathan was waiting on the steps.

  His uncertain smile made her traitorous heart turn over in her chest. Why was she falling in love with a man who couldn’t care for her because of how she looked? She put her shoulders back, determined to go through with her plan. “Would you bring the buggy around, please? I’m taking the babies to visit Lilly. She hasn’t seen them yet.”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Of course I am. Why wouldn’t I be?”

  She was embarrassed to have him see her hair hanging down her back. A woman’s hair was her crowning glory, to be viewed only by God and her husband.

  “I was afraid the rope might have hurt your skin.”

  “I’ll have a bruise or two, but otherwise I’m fine. The buggy, please?” She turned on her heel and went back inside before he could ask her anything else. She put the babies in their carriers and waited outside until Nathan brought Sassy and the buggy around. She got in and picked up the lines. “I’m not sure when I’ll be back.”

  She put Sassy into a quick trot. The sooner she was away from Nathan, the sooner she could gather her scattered wits and decide what to do next.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Nathan heard a horse and buggy a short time later and wondered if Maisie was returning already. He put down the harness he was cleaning and opened his door. He was surprised to see the bishop step out of the buggy.

  Nathan pulled his door shut and started walking toward him. “Good day, Bishop Schultz. What can I do for you?”

  The bishop turned around and smiled. “I came to see how you are getting along, brother.”

  “Well enough.” Nathan nodded toward the barn. “I have coffee down in my room if you’d like some.”

  The bishop looked puzzled. “In your room?”

  “I sleep down there. That gives Maisie and the babies more room in the cabin.”

  The bishop’s eyes widened. “Of course.”

  Nathan suddenly felt self-conscious about the arrangement. “Come in. Maisie and the children have gone to visit Lilly Arnett.” Nathan walked ahead of Bishop Schultz and opened the cabin door.

  The bishop stopped on the porch to look the building over. “I understand you built this place yourself.”

  “With my team and an occasional hand from the men I work with at the lumber camp.”

  “It looks solid.”

  “The first winter will be the real test. Nothing like a wind-driven snow to find the cracks and poor joints.” Nathan walked inside, hung his hat on a peg and indicated his chair. “Have a seat.”

  The bishop hung up his own hat. “Show me around first. I see you have a loft. How wide is this place?”

  “Twenty feet.”

  He walked to the center of the room and turned around. “And how long?”

  “Thirty-five feet.”

  “And could you make it smaller?”

  “Smaller is easier than making it bigger. Why?”

  “The Englisch are looking for smaller homes now. They call them tiny houses. I have built a few and they have sold well. I think there is a certain appeal to a log home, especially here in Maine. How long would it take you to construct one that was twelve feet wide and, say, twenty feet long with a loft like this one?”

  “It would depend on the weather and if the materials were readily available. In the right conditions, I think eight weeks for the shell.”

  “It’s an interesting thought.” He turned to Nathan. “But not why I am here today.”

  Nathan sat on the sofa and waited until the bishop took a seat. “Why have you come?”

  “I haven’t found anyone to work for you, I’m sorry to say. I heard that your last candidate wasn’t suitable.”

  “Maisie did not think so, but I took your advice and asked her to care for the babies as their kinder heeda.”

  “She has invested her heart in her sister’s children, hasn’t she?”

  Nathan leaned back. “That she has.”

  “And how are the two of you getting along?”

  “Fine. She takes good care of my home. She’s a fine cook. She keeps an eye on my livestock, too.” Nathan grinned at the memory of Maisie up to her neck in muddy water.

  The bishop was watching him intently. “So you get on well?”

  “I would say so. I try not to be irritated and she tries not to be aggravating for the most part.”

  “Worthy goals. And you find her trustworthy?”

  “I would not leave my children in her care if I didn’t.”

  “Is she a devout woman of faith? Will she instill a love of Gott in the children?”

  “Absolutely. Her faith is rock-solid.” And stronger than Nathan’s, but he knew his faith could grow and flourish now.

  “That’s reassuring to hear from someone who knows her best. We didn’t have a chance to talk much at your wife’s funeral. I could see that you weren’t ready. You did say that she had left you and you didn’t know where she was until I brought you the news of her death.”

  Nathan leaned forward and clasped his hands together, propping his elbows on his knees. “That’s right. She left me with only a note. I didn’t know I had children until you came that day.”

  “When was the last time you saw Annie?”

  “Last December. Two months after our wedding.”

  “You grieved the loss of her then, didn’t you?”

  “I guess I did. Except I held on to a small measure of hope that she would return.”

  “That’s understandable. It’s what any man would want. I ask because what I’m about to suggest may seem unusual. Especially to those who don’t know your story.”

  Nathan didn’t understand. “Unusual how?”

  “Your children are going to need more than a nanny. They’r
e going to need a mother. Have you considered remarrying?”

  Nathan held up one hand in surprise. “Nee, I’m not ready to look for a wife.”

  Would he ever be ready to trust his heart to another woman? It was hard to imagine.

  “A broken heart is sometimes slow to heal,” the bishop said. “But not every marriage is based on romantic love. A marriage can be successful if it is based on love of Gott, mutual respect and shared goals. Love between two people can grow out of friendship over time. There are several young women in our community who would make wonderful mothers for your children, but I think you already know the best candidate.”

  Nathan shook his head. “I don’t know who you’re talking about.”

  The bishop arched an eyebrow. “I think you do. Maisie.”

  Nathan was thunderstruck. “Maisie? You think I should marry Maisie?”

  “I am not in the habit of playing matchmaker. That is something my wife enjoys. It was her suggestion that I speak to you on the subject.”

  This was unbelievable. Nathan got to his feet, walked to the door and opened it. “Please, tell your wife I appreciate her concern, but I have no intention of taking a wife. Especially not Maisie.”

  The bishop rose, walked over to get his hat and stopped beside Nathan. “I will tell her what you said, but she’s going to ask me why ‘especially’ not Maisie?”

  “She’s too much like Annie.”

  “Your own words belie that. You said she keeps a fine home, loves the babies, she’s a devout member of our faith, she’s even a good cook. Which of those qualities are too much like those of the wife who broke her vows and abandoned you?”

  Nathan clenched his jaw so hard his teeth ached. The man didn’t understand. “Good day, Bishop. It was kind of you to call,” he said when he had his temper under control.

  The bishop tried to hold back a smile. “I found it very enlightening myself.” He nodded to Nathan and went to his buggy.

  Nathan shut the door and leaned against it with both hands. “Of all the ridiculous, unbelievable, preposterous ideas. Me? Marry Maisie?” What was the man thinking? Of course, she was like her sister. They’re twins.

  He remembered Maisie’s furious face when she’d shouted, “I am not Annie.”

  His anger faded. She wasn’t Annie. Annie hadn’t had a temper. Annie never sang in the mornings. She never suggested that he read from the Bible in the evenings or enjoyed visiting with friends. She told Nathan that he was enough for her, but she had broken the vows she made before God and their community.

  He forgave Annie, but that didn’t mean he could forget what she had done or want to replace her. The children had Maisie and they had him when he could be with them. That would be enough.

  Besides, Maisie would laugh at the suggestion of marrying him.

  Wouldn’t she?

  It didn’t matter. He wasn’t about to ask her.

  Grabbing his hat, he went out and headed down the lane. He had told the Fisher men that he’d be out to look at their trees to see if they had enough harvestable wood to build an addition on Gabe’s shop. Now was as good a time as any and he could use the long walk.

  * * *

  Lilly came out to greet Maisie as soon as she stopped Sassy outside the front gate. “Maisie, how wonderful to see you again. Do come in. I just took some banana bread out of the oven.”

  Seeing the welcome in Lilly’s eyes made Maisie feel better. “I’m glad you’re home. I have brought some visitors with me.”

  Lilly’s expression brightened even more. “The babies? Oh, how wonderful. Bring them inside. Will your horse be okay out here by herself?”

  “She’ll be fine. Give me a hand with these chubby children. I can’t believe how much weight they have put on since I first arrived. These little baskets won’t hold them much longer.”

  She handed Charity to Lilly and got out with Jacob. Lilly was smiling tenderly at the little girl. “She certainly looks like you.”

  “She looks like her mother.”

  Lilly immediately appeared contrite. “I’m sorry. That was thoughtless of me.”

  “It’s okay. If she looks like her mother she has to look like me, too.”

  “My gracious, woman, look at all your hair.”

  Maisie blushed. “I hope you don’t mind my wearing it down. I washed it and I’m waiting for it to dry.”

  “I don’t mind at all. It’s a beautiful auburn color. I shouldn’t say that, should I? The Amish don’t want to be called handsome or beautiful. They want to be plain.”

  “Because it isn’t our outward looks that please God.”

  “That is so true. Well, come in. I want to hold that little boy, too.”

  Maisie followed her into the kitchen, which had bold yellow stripes on the walls, white cupboards with yellow daisy-shaped pulls and numerous paintings and sketches of different flowers on the walls. “Your kitchen is colorful.”

  “I know it must seem gaudy to you, but I like it.” She placed Charity’s basket on one of the white wooden chairs.

  “Did you do the paintings?” Maisie asked, impressed with the quality of them.

  “Most of them I purchased from local artists. Several of them I got from Esther Fisher. Gabe’s wife. She and I share a love of wildflowers. I like to grow them. She likes to sketch and paint them. How is Nathan?” Lilly asked, suddenly serious.

  “As well as can be expected.” Maisie concentrated on lifting Jacob out of his basket. She handed him to Lilly, who took him tenderly. Talking about Nathan was the last thing she wanted to do.

  Lilly smiled at the babe in her arms. “It’s been ages since I’ve held a newborn. You forget how tiny they are. What a perfectly wonderful way God chose to start a person.”

  “They certainly have their own personalities already. The reason I came today was because I heard you are renting out your cottage. I’m looking for a place and it would be close to Nathan’s.”

  Lilly’s face fell. “Oh, no. I wish I had known.”

  “You’ve already rented it to someone else?” Maisie struggled to hide her disappointment.

  “I’m afraid so. Mr. Meriwether knows a gentleman from Philadelphia who is looking for a weekend getaway home. He’s going to take it. I’m so sorry.”

  It had been too good to be true. Maisie managed to smile. “All things are as God wills. I’ll keep looking. If you hear of anything, please let me know.”

  “I will. Now can I interest you in a slice of banana bread and some milk?”

  Maisie nodded. “That sounds wonderful.”

  “Let’s have it out on the patio so the sun can dry your hair.”

  Maisie enjoyed Lilly’s treat and her company for another hour while Lilly admired the babies, but Maisie knew she was simply putting off her return to Nathan’s cabin. What could she say to explain her outburst over something as simple as being called the wrong name? She couldn’t tell him the truth. That she was falling in love with him and she wanted him to care for her, not her sister.

  Nathan wasn’t home when Maisie returned. She was glad of the reprieve but knew it was only that. She stabled Sassy and took the babies inside. They weren’t ready for their feedings, so she settled them in their cradles and fixed a roast with new potatoes and carrots from the garden and put it in the oven. She had time to make a salad of fresh greens to go with the roast before Jacob began fussing.

  She fixed his bottle and settled in the rocker with him. “I’m beginning to think Agnes Martin was right about us. You demand attention and I jump to take care of you. I think I’m spoiling you.” She bent to kiss his forehead. When she looked up, Nathan was watching her from the doorway.

  * * *

  Nathan stared at Maisie as if seeing her for the first time. It wasn’t her resemblance to Annie that caught and held his attention. It was a look of love in her eyes when s
he gazed at his son. He didn’t know it at the time, but this was why he had built this cabin. To someday see a gentle, sweet woman rocking his baby by his hearth.

  A sense of wonder filled him. This is what he wanted, what he had always wanted—a family of his own.

  How could he have been so blind as to see only Annie when he looked at Maisie? Their similarities were minor things. It was Maisie’s inner beauty that filled his heart with happiness. This felt like coming home.

  He was afraid if he spoke that feeling would vanish, but he couldn’t stand in the door all night. “Did Lilly enjoy meeting our kinder?”

  “She did. I had a hard time prying them out of her arms. Nathan, about before—”

  “Forget it. I have.”

  “I was very rude to you and I’m sorry.”

  “Nothing to be sorry for.” He picked up Charity and sat in his chair. “Aggravating and irritated, I reckon we’ll do that to each other now and again. It doesn’t matter as long as we share this quiet joy together.”

  She smiled softly. “They are a blessing, to be sure. Where were you this evening, if you don’t mind my asking?”

  “I walked over to the Fisher place to look through their forests and see if they have enough usable timber to build a log addition on Gabe’s shop.”

  “Do they?”

  “They do, but some of it is going to be hard to reach with heavy equipment, which I’m guessing is why the bigger trees haven’t been cut already.”

  “What about using horses?”

  “It is certainly possible. It would take a little longer but the impact on the land would be a lot less. In fact, they offered me the job.”

  Her bright smile did funny things to his stomach. “Are you going to take it? What about the lumber camp?”