by J. S Ellis
‘Now, if you feel uncomfortable in any way there’s going to be an officer outside the room.’
‘Wait... you’re not coming in there with me.’
‘It won’t work if I do, he wants to speak to you alone.’
‘But...’
‘No need to be alarmed, Sophie,’ he said.
We are on a first name basis now as if we are old friends.
‘You’re going to be safe,’ Blake said. He paused and looked at me wryly, ‘just be on your guard. I come across the worst kind you can imagine. The lowest scum on earth.’ I stared at him. He composed himself, ‘whenever you are ready.’
Sam was already at the table when I walked in the room. It was a cold and drab, grey room, without any windows. I sat opposite him. Only a table separated us. I didn’t feel safe, despite having the police-woman standing outside the door. Sam stared at me. It occurred to me how young he looked. Barely in his twenties. The black wavy fringe wasn’t covering his eyes for once. I could see them, blue and clear. I scanned them to detect any coldness in them, but I could only sense warmth. It made my body shudder. He broke eye contact and leaned back against the chair.
‘I’m here, so talk,’ I said, crossing my arms.
He took a deep inhale of breath and lowered his eyes to the table. ‘There are some things I need to explain to you. Some things you have to understand.’
‘Yes, you do,’ I agreed, ‘you can start with the notes.’
‘The notes were a warning.’
‘A warning?’
‘Yes, against Matti or as you know him, Mike,’ he said.
We stared at each other. I shuddered with the cold, as I realized that Sam knew who the real Matti is.
‘You were sending me upsetting notes, to warn me against Matti. It doesn’t make much sense.’
‘Now Sophie, let’s not get ahead of ourselves, I’m not your enemy. I am the one who told you about the photo on Facebook. The clues were right in front of you, but you had your head too far into your own ass to notice.’
‘Why did you send me the notes? What about the phone calls?’
‘That was me too.’
‘How did you get my number?’
‘It’s not hard to get anyone’s number nowadays,’ he said with a sly smile.
It made me sick, ‘you attacked me.’
‘Now, that’s where you’re wrong, Sophie. I didn’t do it.’
I grabbed the chair. ‘I remember what you did to me.’
‘But that’s where you’re wrong, your memory is confused. You’re an alcoholic, Sophie, what you remember don’t mean shit. Yes, I did dance with you, but I left shortly afterward because Andy got in a fight with some geezer.’
‘No, Matti went to stop the fight, not you.’
‘No, Matti was out with you.’
I let it sink for a moment what he was implying. There was silence. It only lasted for a second, but it felt like ages. ‘What? No! You’re lying. It was you.’
‘Remember what you want, but it was Matti who did it, not me.’
I jumped out of the chair and made my way over to the door.
‘I was the one who found you on the ground. Matti was shaking on the pavement. He was crying and freaking out. He took my lighter to light a joint. He was playing with it when I found him. I have seen his wrath, but I didn’t think he’d go that far. So, I did what I had to do. He was my friend after all. He was like a big brother.’
I turned and glanced at him. ‘Think long and hard, it’s in the depths of your brain, only you won’t allow it to surface, because you’re afraid.’
I took a seat again. ‘Why didn’t tell me like a normal person? Why didn’t you tell the police?’ I asked.
‘Well, he was my friend, and you never reported it.’
‘You kept quiet because he’s your friend?’
‘Yes, but I wanted you to remember.’
‘You think stalking me was your way of helping me?’ I paused, ‘Sylvie told me she saw you crying the day after what had happened.’
‘I was upset... we all were for what he did.’
‘And you and Andy didn’t care to tell me the truth. You were awful to me.’
‘Who would have believed us?’
My eyes found the floor as snippets of that awful night started to come back to me.
‘No,’ I said, ‘It can’t be.’
‘You were having an affair with your attacker,’ Sam said in a whisper.
‘No.’
‘I was sixteen when I met Matti. He was a little older. I thought he was gay at first, but I grew fond of him. We didn’t have much in Sweden, we both came from low-class families, and we just clicked. Girls loved him. He wasn’t interested in them in a way. The first time I saw his anger was when he started seeing this girl. Women always seemed to bring the worst out of him.’ He narrowed his eyes at me, ‘you brought out the worst in him.
I sat there frozen.
‘Anyway,’ Sam said, breaking the silence. They got into some argument. It was a silly thing not worth remembering. But he went nuts. We were on a railway line, you see. He jumped onto the rails and shouted at the girl, ‘see my rage, see my rage!’ He said it over and over again. A train was coming. We could hear it in the distance. I managed to calm him down, and he got off the track before the train ran him over. I know this is a lot of take in, but it wasn’t me, you have to believe that.’
‘Who pushed me down the road?’
Silence.
‘Nobody pushed you, you stumbled. You took a wrong step. You were holding the note I sent you.’
‘No, I didn’t I...’
‘You did. I took the note and got rid of it. Look, I wasn’t jealous of you and Matti. I just wanted you to see. To stop what you were doing before it went further. Matti knew I was up to something and came to see me one night when Evelyne and Andy were out. This was two days after you saw me looking up at your window.’
‘What did he say?’ I asked.
‘That whatever I was doing, it had to stop. That you wouldn’t believe me. That I was creeping you out...’
‘Someone tried to break into my apartment, was that you?’
‘No, it wasn’t me. I may have done some crazy shit, but that wasn’t me.’
‘You honestly think he loved you?’ Sam asked.
‘I don’t know what to think anymore.’
‘What’s done is done. Your husband is dead. Your life is shattered. I’m going to prison and Matti well...’
An uncomfortable silence enveloped the room.
‘Why did Mike and Matti switch identities? You must know why the real Matti was using Mike’s name.’
‘It’s something they did.’
‘They did for fun you mean?’
‘Yeah...’
‘So, Mike had nothing on Matti.’
‘Not that I am aware of. Mike was in the picture longer than I was.’
I didn’t believe him but I wasn’t going to push it. It didn’t matter anyway. I rubbed my face with my hands. ‘You know where he is?’ I asked.
‘Yes.’
‘Are you going to tell the police?’
‘I am, yeah,’ Sam replied.
The urge to go to the nearest pub was irresistible, but I resisted. After a brief conversation with Blake, where I told him everything Sam had told me, I left the police station. The city buzzed around me. I cried in the taxi, still shaking from the news. It felt like a blow in the gut as it swept over me. Me drinking. Sylvie laughing with Nicky. The music was so loud it felt like an intruder. And then I recalled it, as clear as day. I went to the bar to get myself a drink. Matti came over and said something, I don’t remember what, but we smiled at each other, and I walked past him out of the club. He stood in front lighting a joint with a zippo.
Sam’s zippo.
The End.
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Acknowledgments
I’m a daydreamer. Sometimes I don’t even know where I’m going because I’ve got my head stuck in the clouds. Thanks to those daydreams, I’ve been given the ability to write stories. I’ve been scribbling ever since I was a child. I didn’t like reading though, the love of books came later much later.
I would like to thank my caring and kind fiancé Giacomo for his endless support and cheering. For being my critique partner, and offering invaluable advice. Thank you for opening my eyes at some points. I’d like to thank my mom and dad who can’t understand my love of books, and my dad for threatening to throw all of my books away. He never did. To my brother, Jonathan. To my friends. To the beta readers who took the time to read it and provided helpful feedback.
Lastly, I would like to THANK YOU for reading this book.
About the Author
J.S Ellis is a thriller author. She has a degree in creative writing, English literature, and digital marketing. She lives in Malta with her fiancé. When she’s not writing or reading, she’s either cooking, eating cheese and chocolate, or listening to good music and enjoying a glass of wine or two.
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