Searching for Perfect

by Jennifer Probst

  Wolfe looked over, not trusting it was a good shot. Nate grinned. "Nice job. Your form has really improved and you're hitting the green. We haven't had to trudge through the water or sand in a long time."

  Wolfe laughed as they began walking. "Hell, I'm getting it on the green and on the right course. It's a miracle."

  "Nah, your swing is pure power. Must be that tattoo."

  "You should see what a piercing can do. Especially in a painful place."

  Nate winced. "Gonna pass on that one."

  They played the next few holes in comfortable silence. Nate missed having guy friends. Wayne rarely spoke about anything other than work, and his brother was family, so he had to take his shit one way or the other. He'd never peg Wolfe as the type of guy who'd want to be friends with him. Nate figured he'd ditch him after a few sessions, but he seemed genuinely interested in continuing the golf lessons and even suggested meeting for a beer after work last week.

  "When's your golf meeting set up for?" Nate asked. His club sliced the air and the ball sailed in a full arc to drop a foot from the hole. Yes. If only Ken could see that one.

  "I maneuvered a Friday morning session into his group. Let me tell you, it was tougher than infiltrating the CIA. This sport is hard-core."

  "You'll be ready. How's Purity going?"

  Wolfe took his shot. It hooked to the left but straightened out enough to keep away from the hazard. "The big opening is in a few weeks, and I've recruited a solid list of celebrities. Decided to combine it with a charity event to also give back to the community. New York is a breed unto its own, so I need to run this one different than Milan, and my dad agreed it's my call. First project I get to run from top to bottom."

  "Your dad sounds cool. Do you get to see each other often?"

  "He and Julietta, my stepmom, live in Milan. She's the head of La Dolce Famiglia bakery and just had a baby, but I'm sure she'll make it to the opening. She's hard-core." The softening of his face told Nate she was well loved. A stab of envy hit him in the gut. What would it be like to have a parent actually care about you and your life? At least Connor was by his side for the long haul, and that was a hell of a lot more than most people got.

  "I think I just had a brilliant idea."

  "What?"

  "Payment for golf lessons in sweets. I love my pastries."

  Wolfe grinned. "Done. Two items are guaranteed to grab a woman's attention, and one is good food."

  "What's the other?"

  "A cute, furry animal."

  Hmm. Nate wondered if he should invest in an adorable puppy and recruit Kennedy to help. The idea had merits. Ah, crap, he was nuts. Who thought about buying a pet just to keep the woman he loved? Since the night she had confessed her past, he'd been haunted by her strength and vulnerability. He also realized that she didn't see it.

  He'd woken up Sunday morning in her bed, and she'd already escaped. Safely showered and dressed, she greeted him with a false brilliance that annoyed the crap out of him. He should've stripped her naked and dragged her back to bed, where she always listened, but his gut screamed to give her space. Without a word, he'd kissed her good-bye and walked out. He hoped a day to ruminate on their relationship might help bring her to the conclusion they were perfect together. But somehow, he doubted it.

  She didn't call. Didn't show up for Zumba Monday evening either. And now it was midweek and still not a peep. He needed some sort of sign of what to do. His instinct drove him to be direct, but sometimes women needed subtlety. And he was playing for keeps.

  He glanced at Wolfe's cool tattoo, confident air, and model looks. He always wore these badass leather wristbands that only added appeal. Damn man made it look easy. "Hey, Wolfe?"

  "Yeah?"

  "You ever been in love?"

  He stiffened. Took his eyes off the ball and met his gaze. Those blue eyes suddenly looked haunted, but he answered the question. "No." Wolfe studied him. "You got nailed, huh?"

  Nate pushed his hand through his perfectly cut hair. "Yeah. Literally and figuratively. It's the figuratively I'm having a hard time with."

  His friend laughed. "Leave it to a scientist to tell it like it is. She into you?"

  "I think. She's a certified commitment phobic. Afraid to stop and look too deep, as if she's already convinced it'll end badly. I don't know how to convince her I want long term. That I'll stick. That she's worth it. Ah, hell, any of this make sense?"

  "Yes." Wolfe looked out over the horizon and remained quiet. Nate recognized in his silence another soul who needed to work things out, and suddenly he realized there was a hell of a lot more to Wolfe under that male model billionaire surface. "Sometimes people don't believe they deserve a happy ending. Most don't get it. Did you tell her how you feel?"

  "No. I figured that would be the end of it. Damn woman would probably change her name and move out of state in an effort to get rid of me. I figured I'd play it cool. Not push. Let her have space."

  "It's tricky, Nate. Could go either way. But I know one thing. You're gonna have to fight hard for her and you may lose. She still worth it?"

  "Yes."

  "Glad I'm not you."

  "Thanks, Dr. Phil."

  Another short laugh. "You're gonna have to tell her. She should know. If she runs, you just wait her out. Maybe you need to prove you don't scare easily."

  He tried not to let a wimpy sigh escape. "Maybe."

  "Listen, what are you doing Saturday?"

  "Asking me out?"

  "You wish."

  Nate grinned. "Just golfing."

  "A good friend of mine is having an engagement party. It's a pretty big event, and it'll be fun. Why don't you come with me?"

  He drew back in surprise. He had a feeling it was a big deal to be invited into the inner circle of his new friend. "Will he mind?"

  "It's a she, and no, the more the merrier. Listen, it will be good for you to meet some new people. If things don't work with this woman, it's good to realize you have options. Gen's family is incredible, and it will take your mind off this stuff for a bit."

  "Wouldn't you rather bring a date?"

  "Nah, I just got out of a weekend relationship thing--I'm exhausted. A buddy is what I need right now. You in?"

  "Yeah. Thanks."

  "No problem."

  They finished the game and headed out. Nate slid into his car, buckled up, and heard the ping of his phone. Like a lovesick teen, he quickly checked the text.

  Hi Nate, it's Mary from the mixer. Kennedy told me to contact you about scheduling a date. Said you were really excited to get together. I'm free this Friday and Saturday night so let me know. Looking forward to it--enjoyed speaking with you at the mixer. Have a great day!

  He dropped his head on the steering wheel. Well, Kennedy had finally made the first move, and it was a doozy. Scheduling him a date with another woman after they slept together was definitely a sign.

  Just not the one he wanted.

  His next move was critical. Time to scan the newest issue of Cosmopolitan and pray.

  KENNEDY LOOKED UP AT the sprawling mansion set out on endless acres of property and turned to Kate. "Wow. Alexa went all out for this event, huh? Can she be my adopted sister?"

  Kate laughed and grabbed her fiance Slade's hand. He juggled the gaily wrapped bridal gift--two small pink bags with Barbie splashed on them--and still managed to look masculine. "You can be mine, Ken," he said.

  She blew a kiss at the man who had stolen her best friend's heart and began walking up the elaborate stone pathway. "Her mom's house was too small, and David only has an apartment. They went back and forth on different venues, but Gen really wanted something with a homey feel," Kate said.

  "Yep, all six thousand square feet of cozy. It's gorgeous."

  "Nick designed it himself. I keep forgetting you haven't been here. The whole crew is coming, so things should get lively. Holy crap, is that a peacock!"

  A gorgeous blue and violet creature strolled elegantly past them and towar
d the back of the manicured lawn. White umbrellas were scattered amid rows of pristine white and yellow roses. A seven-piece orchestra played classical music on a platform flanked by marble sculptures. A harpist sat in a long white gown with flowers in her hair and strummed as if plucked right from a fairy tale.

  "Oh, boy. I'm never gonna let Gen live this down. Is that a champagne fountain? Let's go."

  Slade laughed. "That's my girl, always the most excited over the liquor."

  "I bet it's the good stuff," Kennedy piped up. "I'm right behind you."

  They weaved amid the crowds with their target in sight. Slade did a quick turnaround at the last minute. "Were those crab cakes? Babe, they got crab cakes."

  "Yes, darling, pace yourself. The buffet consists of New York strip and lobster tails."

  "I love engagement parties. Catch you later."

  Kate giggled and watched him zero in on the elegantly dressed waiter. "The man knows good food. Uh-oh. Are you ready?"

  "For champagne? Yes."

  "For chaos. One, two, three, and--"

  "Kate! Kate's here, Kate's here!"

  Two screaming little girls came tearing across the lawn at high speed. The older one wore white patent leather shoes and a long pink dress, and her inky dark hair was coiled in ringlets. The younger one trailed behind, ribbons half cocked and twisted at odd angles on her head, dress torn and muddy, and barefoot. Kate knelt down and caught both of them and they tumbled back laughing.

  "Hi, girls! Do you remember my friend, Kennedy?"

  The girls looked up and gave her big grins. Ken remembered Alexa's daughters well. The older one, Lily, was quite the sophisticate, and the younger one was all free spirit. Maria pointed. "Like Barbie's Ken! But you're a girl."

  Lily huffed. "Maria, her full name is Kennedy. I think it's a beautiful name." The little girl's gaze roved over Kennedy's citrine sheath dress, shiny jewelry, and four-inch matching sandals. "And I love your outfit!"

  "Thanks, honey. I love yours too."

  "Where's your aunt and mom, girls?"

  "On the deck. Kate, I'm gonna be a flower girl for Aunt Gen! And I get to hold a basket and drop flowers all over the church!" Maria burst out.

  "Just on the aisle," Lily corrected.

  "Did you bring us presents, Kate?"

  "Maria, that's rude!" Lily admonished.

  Kate tugged on a wayward lock stuck around a ribbon. "I did. If you can find Slade, and give him a big hug and kiss, I bet he'll give them to you."

  "Yay!" Maria tore off across the lawn.

  Lily sighed. "Thank you, Kate."

  "You're welcome, my sweets. Now go get him and we'll find your mom." Lily took off.

  "Mom's right here."

  Kennedy took in the dark-haired, curvy woman before her and smiled. Alexa was Gen's older sister and one of the sweetest, kindest people she'd ever met. Whenever she tagged along with Kate and Gen, she was treated like family. They all hugged.

  "Where's Slade?" Alexa asked.

  "Running after the crab cakes. I cannot believe this place; it's incredible. You did an amazing job."

  Alexa settled her hands on her hips. "It was fun to plan. Since my nuptials were a big hoax, I'm putting all my backed-up wedding enthusiasm into Gen's. Do you like the peacocks? They're from an animal conservation farm and very well cared for. The swans were too nervous to be around large crowds, but these do quite well."

  Ken wondered if she had heard wrong. Kate looked just as surprised.

  "Love them. Umm, wedding hoax?" Ken asked.

  Gen's sister waved her hand in the air in dismissal. "Not important. It ended up becoming real. I need to find the guest of honor. We spent only a minute together before she disappeared."

  Kennedy spoke up. "I'm sure she's meeting so many people, also from David's side. Engagement parties are a lot of work."

  "Yeah, you're probably right. Mom and Dad are fawning all over David's parents. He may trump Nick in the son-in-law department, which pisses him off." Her gaze narrowed on something across the lawn. "Why is Maria barefoot and muddy?"

  "Because she and my son were chasing peacocks and fell in the mud pit. Hey, girls."

  Alexa's best friend and Gen's surrogate aunt, Maggie Conte, joined the group. She wore a daring black cat suit that even Versace's models couldn't pull off. Her cinnamon hair was chopped off at a sharp angle at her chin, and she symbolized chic and fabulous. She had always been one of Kennedy's role models, and was always free with her fashion advice. They exchanged brief hugs.

  "Did you bring your yummy men?" Maggie asked. "And why is no one drinking yet?"

  Ken laughed. "We got waylaid on the way to the champagne fountain. And I'm solo today."

  Maggie crinkled her nose. "Pity. Your dates are usually drool worthy. Has anyone seen Gen? David's looking for her."

  Alexa frowned. "She's MIA again. She's so stressed out with her work schedule, I keep telling her to slow down."

  "Guess it's the reputation of brilliant surgeons in training. Ken and I were trying to have a talk with her this week, but she kept canceling on us. Is Izzy coming?" Kate asked.

  Maggie and Alexa shared a look. "Don't know. It'll be a surprise." Gen's twin was on the outs with the family. Izzy had isolated herself from the MacKenzie clan and driven a wedge between the tight-knit group. A variety of factors was cited as the cause. Drugs. Heavy partying. Abusive men. No one knew for sure what kept her away. Ken wondered if that was another stressor to Gen. She'd ended up picking Kate as her maid of honor, so maybe there was some backlash from Izzy.

  "What will be a surprise?" a voice interrupted.

  Maggie's sister-in-law, Carina, joined the group. She held a baby under one arm and a drink in the other. Her dark hair spilled over her shoulders in a mass of silky waves. Almond-shaped eyes lit up with an energy and zest no first-time mother with a newborn should possess. Immediately, everyone began cooing and babbling to the baby.

  "Gen's twin, Izzy. We're not sure if she's coming or not. Babe, your boobs are huge! Maximus must be one very happy boy," Maggie said.

  "Which one? The father or son?" Alexa piped up.

  They burst into laughter. Max Jr. was wrapped in a crocheted blue blanket, with one of those tiny knit caps stretched over his head. Dark hair peeked out from underneath, and his sleepy eyes rolled open to check on them, then slid back to slumber. Kennedy itched to bury her nose in his powder-scented skin and cuddle forever. "Hey, I get to have one drink while I'm nursing, right?" Carina asked. "And don't say no, because I already drank it."

  "One glass of champagne is fine, sweetie. How are you holding up?" Maggie asked.

  Carina rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. Max is a wreck, though. The first few days we were home I caught him just staring at the baby with this wondrous expression on his face."

  "Aww, that's so sweet," Kate sighed.

  Carina raised a brow. "Yeah, but that's all he did. Refused to change his diaper or dress him or bathe him. He was afraid he'd break something of the baby's. Probably his penis. So I did all the work."

  Kennedy winced. "That would drive me nuts. What did you do?"

  Maggie and Carina shared a wicked glance. "I left."

  "What? You left your husband?" Kate asked.

  "Just for the day. Told him Maggie was taking me out to the spa for a massage and a mani-pedi. He freaked out, begged me not to go, but I told him it's time they get to know each other."

  Maggie grinned with pride. "Trust me, there's nothing like bonding over a poopy diaper. And it worked."

  "Yep. When I got back that evening, he was rocking him to sleep, and Max Jr. had on a clean diaper and onesie. Sometimes you gotta throw the husbands in the deep end and make 'em swim."

  Alexa laughed. "You two rock. Nick once told me to hold Lily while he got something, and he actually left the house. In his car. Let's just say he paid dearly for that move."

  Kennedy laughed. God, she loved this group of women. Strong, sassy, family oriented. They were everything she w
anted to be when she finally settled down. One day.

  Maybe.

  The thought of the man she had shared her most intimate secrets with, taken deep into her body, and refused to acknowledge this entire week haunted her. She missed him. Missed Zumba, and golf, and the sex, God, the sex. She missed the way he spilled stains on his shirt and studied her with all that gorgeous concentration.

  But she had to save him.

  From herself.

  Siccing Mary on him was rattlesnake mean, but she had no choice. By pushing another woman into his arms, she was confirming everything he suspected about her. She could never be the mate he needed and deserved. Eventually, her crappy issues would rear their ugly heads. She'd find something wrong with one of them and break his heart. Better to free him up now. Mary would help him forget.

  She pushed the image of Nate firmly from her mind and refocused.

  "Why don't we split up and see if we can find Gen?" Kate suggested.

  They all agreed. Kennedy filled her glass with champagne and headed inside the house to search. She chatted briefly with Gen's parents, met David's parents, grabbed some celery sticks from the veggie tray and nibbled. She thought she might faint if she caught sight of the steak, so she made a battle plan to stay outside where the air neutralized all those wonderful scents.

  The main floor held no missing bride-to-be, so she headed to the second level. The massive open staircase was an architectural dream, with a six-tier glittering chandelier in a rich bronze gold as the main focus. She popped her head into a few rooms, but everyone was outside or on the first level, so she doubted she'd find anyone. She was just about to turn around when a soft creak reached her ears.

  She pushed open the door. It was Lily's room. Decorated in happy, bright yellow, a beautiful lace coverlet lay upon the canopy bed, and a huge assortment of dolls and stuffed animals were displayed in every corner. The arched bay windows were open, and the breeze drifted in, filling the room with sounds of laughter from outside and delicious smells from the party.

  Gen was perched in the white rocker, staring out the window.

  "Uh, Gen?"

  She popped up. Surprise skittered over her face, quickly followed by a complete shutdown of emotion. Ken stared at her friend, her gut screaming at high pitch that something was very, very wrong. "Oh, my God. I'm sorry, Ken. I didn't hear you!" Her laugh was forced, and she twisted her engagement ring round and around her finger. Ken noticed the spot was rubbed raw around the band and up to her knuckle. She was dressed impeccably, her vanilla cream blouse and long cream skirt giving her an air of mystical innocence. Her dark hair was caught up in a fancy twist, and diamond studs glittered in her ears. Her eyes, so like Alexa's, were piercing blue. She emanated a nervous, jumpy energy that bordered more on fear than excitement.