Erotic Research

by Mari Carr

  “Oh.” She fought the impulse to step away from him. Taking another calming breath, she stiffened her spine. “Actually, I haven’t written the last chapter.”

  Clearly confused, Ross merely looked at her for a moment. “You never send me an unfinished manuscript.”

  “Well, the thing is,” she kept on, praying she wasn’t blushing like a fool, “I didn’t like the original ending.”

  “Original ending?”

  “It was terrible,” she added hastily. “I tried it out, researched it, but it didn’t really work.”

  “Is that right?” His voice was flat, emotionless. How she wished she could tell what he was thinking.

  “In fact, I was hoping you could help me,” she continued.

  “Help you?” His voice betrayed nothing to her and she was tempted to shake him, slap him, anything to get some sort of reaction from him.

  “Write another one.” Again his face looked as if it were carved from granite. “After all, we were working on this project together.”

  “Help you how?”

  “I have another idea for the ending.” Her voice sounded strained even to her own ears. She was desperate to say the words her heart was screaming. “But I thought maybe we should research it first.”

  “Research.” He repeated the word with such disgust, she considered running away. What if he rejected her and the new ending? What if it was too late to make amends?

  “Yes,” she replied quickly before she lost her nerve, “I have part of it scripted out right here.” She handed him a sheet of paper from one of the numerous stacks on the dining-room table.

  Glancing at the paper, Ross visibly blanched. “What the hell is this? Didn’t we try this before? What are you hoping for here, Jules? Another opportunity to kick me in the teeth?”

  “No. Of course not, Ross.” A lone tear trickled down her cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you again. Ever again. Trust me. Please.”

  Ross flinched as she tossed his own words from the cabin back at him. He’d asked for her trust and she’d given it—well, up to a point. Now she was asking for the same.

  “Julia,” he started, but stopped as an anguished sob escaped her lips.

  “Don’t call me that,” she whispered.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Julia,” she repeated. “Please don’t call me that.”

  Whatever strength had gotten Ross to her apartment and through her front door seemed to slowly seep out of him as he dropped into the chair behind him.

  “I don’t know what you want,” he said miserably.

  “Just read the paper. Please.” She was well aware of the pleading tone in her voice, but she didn’t care. All she wanted was to finish what he’d started in the cabin, the right way this time. He was silent for so long, she knew she’d lost. He would never forgive her.

  “How can you not know how I feel about you?” he started, his voice flat. Startled, she glanced up to see him reading the words on the page she’d handed him.

  “Every time I look at you, I see my past, present and future. All I want in the world is wrapped up in you. I love you, Jules. Dammit, I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”

  Crumpling the paper as the last words fell from his lips, Ross stared woodenly at the floor. He’d risked his heart for her again. Her courageous, handsome hero had given her his heart again. Only this time, she knew what to do with it.

  She knelt before him. The tears she’d tried valiantly to hold in began to fall freely. This time she would answer with the words written in her heart.

  “Ross,” she said, her voice trembling beneath the tears. “Oh God, Ross, I love you too. More than I can ever tell you. These past couple of months have been hell. I love you so much it hurts and I’m so very sorry. Please forgive me. I never meant to hurt you and I know I don’t deserve it but I swear if you’ll only forgive—”

  No more words came as Ross’s lips descended on hers in a kiss that took her breath away. Julia clung to him as the kiss continued for minutes, maybe hours, both of them trying to prove their love with their lips, their hands.

  When they finally parted, Ross laughed as Julia continued to cry—happy tears this time.

  Helping her to her feet, Ross crossed the room to grab a box of tissues.

  “Blow,” he ordered, wiping her dripping nose.

  Following his command, she reached up on tiptoe to place a soft kiss on his cheek. “Please say you forgive me.”

  “Jules, there’s nothing to forgive. I wasn’t totally honest in that cabin. I hid my feelings, hoping I could trick you into falling in love with me, rather than simply telling you the truth right from the beginning.”

  “When did you realize you loved me?”

  “Years ago.” His face broke into a self-deprecating grin. “Talk about your world-class fools. So much wasted time.”

  “Well,” Julia answered smugly, “if you’ve taught me anything in the last few months, it’s that anticipation only makes the reward greater.”

  Bending down, Ross wrapped her tightly in his arms before picking her up and slowly swinging her around. Julia giggled at his impetuous action.

  “I love you,” he said again, spinning her faster, “and you are the greatest reward any man could ever receive.”

  “Ross, you lunatic,” she cried, dizzy and giddy, “put me down.”

  Placing her back on her feet, he added to her lightheadedness with a kiss that sucked all the breath from her body. His hands loosely framed her face as he worshipped her lips with his. If she lived to be a hundred, this was the kiss she would remember on her deathbed.

  “That was a pretty good ending.” For the first time since he walked into her apartment, Julia saw a true glimpse of the real Ross.

  “Just pretty good?” she asked.

  “Not bad. It works for me.”

  “I’m so glad you approve of this one,” she answered.

  “Still…” He rubbed his chin as if deep in thought.

  “Still what?” she asked, pleased by the return of his fun-loving nature.

  “I don’t know. The words were good, but it seems to be lacking something.”

  “Oh yeah? Like what?”

  “Well, this is an erotic romance. Therefore I think it only fitting that after such a heartfelt declaration, the heroine should prove her love.”

  “Prove it how?” Julia asked suspiciously.

  “Well, I’m not the writer, of course, but maybe the ending would be stronger if right after her speech, she fell on her knees and gave the hero the best blowjob of his life.”

  Julia burst into laughter, shaking her head. “I’m not sure a blowjob would really fit at that particular point in the plotline. Something like that is really better suited to the epilogue.”

  Ross groaned. “Epilogue. What is it with women writers and epilogues?”

  She smiled. “What do you mean? Epilogues are extremely important to romance novels. Women like to know that things work out in the long run and that the romance doesn’t end with the last chapter.”

  “Yeah, well. I suppose you could work the blowjob scene into the epilogue, but I’m gonna tell you right now, it better be one of those ‘later that night’ epilogues and not a ‘five years later’ one.”

  Julia giggled. “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “You do that.” Ross wrapped his hands in her hair to pull her close. “I’m even going to be a good editor and help you with that epilogue. Like I always say, you can never do too much research.”

  Epilogue One

  Later that night…

  Julia gave Ross the best blowjob of his life.

  Epilogue Two

  Five years later…

  Ross watched his very pregnant wife put the finishing touches to her ninth erotic romance as their new cat, Duchess, rubbed against her swollen ankles. Since publishing her first novel in that genre, she’d become known in the industry as the Queen of Erotica, a title he took great delight in
teasing her about. And, of course being such a good editor, he still helped her with all of her research.

  * * *

  If you enjoyed Erotic Research, be sure to try Mari Carr’s other wicked fantasies books also available in Kindle Unlimited, including:

  Tequila Truth (friends to lovers menage)

  Power Play (sex with a stranger workplace romance)

  Rough Cut (Hollywood BDSM romance)

  Assume the Positions (older woman, younger man romance)

  Mad about Meg (billionaire holiday romance)

  * * *

  And be sure to turn the page to read In the Running, a bonus holiday short story, featuring Julia and Ross!

  In the Running

  What happens when the man of your dreams is also the chief of state?

  * * *

  Noelle falls head over heels for Tom after they meet online. When they decide to meet in person for the first time over Christmas, Noelle gets a hell of a lot more than she bargained for from Santa!

  Chapter One

  Editchick: So I made it through day 497 with relative ease.

  RunningMan: You know, at some point, you may want to consider not counting the days anymore.

  Editchick: Why?

  RunningMan: I think it has something to do with that healing process everybody talks about so much.

  Editchick: How many days for you?

  RunningMan: 752.

  Editchick: Jeez. Practice what you preach.

  RunningMan: Yeah, I know. What are you doing now?

  Editchick: About to go to bed. Long day at work. Must be a full moon tonight—the other editors in the office were bouncing off the walls. I’m beat. You?

  RunningMan: Got a few things to take care of before I can sleep.

  Editchick: You work too hard.

  RunningMan: Wondered when you were going to work that comment in. You say the same thing every night.

  Editchick: Gotta stop and smell the roses, Tom. What are you doing for the holidays?

  RunningMan: Same thing as always. Flying around the entire world spreading the joy and magic of the season to millions of children in a single night.

  Editchick: LOL! The man of mystery finally revealed!

  RunningMan: That’s me. Jolly old St. Nick. What about you?

  Editchick: Same as last year I suppose. Just getting through the day.

  RunningMan: How about getting through the day with me?

  Editchick: With you?

  RunningMan: I’d like to spend Christmas with you.

  Editchick: You would?

  RunningMan: What do you say, Noelle? After a year of phone calls and IMs, don’t you think it’s time we finally meet face to face?

  Editchick: What about all those poor kids waiting for Santa Claus? Won’t you be missed?

  RunningMan: Even Santa deserves a day off. Is that a yes?

  Editchick: When and where?

  RunningMan: I’ll make the plans, book us a hotel somewhere nice. Leave it all to me. You won’t have to do anything except pack.

  Editchick: Sounds wonderful. I guess I’d better call it a night. I’ve got work tomorrow and it’s getting late.

  RunningMan: Goodnight, Noelle.

  Editchick: Goodnight, Tom

  * * *

  Noelle stared at the computer screen, wondering what exactly she’d just done and trying to still the initial panic she felt at agreeing to spend Christmas with a virtual stranger.

  He’s not a stranger. He’s Tom.

  She logged off her computer and unplugged the Christmas tree lights in her living room before starting her nightly routine. She checked the downstairs windows and doors, making sure they were locked, and then headed upstairs to her bedroom. The hardest thing after Troy’s death had been learning to sleep in their old house alone. The second hardest thing had been celebrating the holidays—any holiday—alone. Although Christmas certainly seemed to top the list.

  She wondered if she’d ever have survived her husband’s untimely death at all without Tom’s companionship. Her grief counselor had introduced them—via Internet—shortly after Troy passed away. Their common bond was the fact that they’d both lost someone they’d loved—a spouse—to cancer. Tom had become her anchor this past year, never failing to contact her, whether by IM or email or phone call.

  Although he seemed to be on the road constantly and he kept some erratic work hours, she was impressed and amazed by his devotion to their long-distance relationship. If anyone asked her who her best friend was, she would say Tom without hesitation, despite never having seen his face. Hell, she didn’t even know his last name.

  Now she was going to be spending Christmas with him. It didn’t seem possible that at last she would be meeting the man who’d come to mean so much to her. She worried briefly that perhaps the real man wouldn’t meet her expectations, especially given that she was certain she’d fallen more than a little bit in love with him.

  She picked up her cell phone as she climbed the stairs and checked the clock. It was past eleven. Julia would probably kill her for calling so late, but she really needed to talk to someone.

  “Hello,” Julia’s drowsy voice answered.

  “Were you asleep?” Noelle asked.

  “Not quite. What’s up?”

  Noelle smiled. In addition to being her sister-in-law, Julia was a dear friend, never too busy to talk to her, a fact that Noelle had relied on heavily during the first few months after Troy’s death. Julia had married Noelle’s older brother, Ross, and the two of them had never failed to provide comfort and a shoulder to lean on when Noelle needed them, helping her through some of the darkest days of her life.

  “Tom wants to spend Christmas with me.”

  “Get out!” Julia said excitedly. “That’s terrific.”

  “Really? You don’t think I’m making a mistake?” Noelle was relieved to be able to voice her fears.

  “Dear God, no,” Julia answered. “I’ve been telling you for months to set up a meeting with the man. It’s time to move on, Noelle. Stop running away from the future. Give yourself a chance at happiness.”

  “I had happiness. Maybe I’ve already had my lifetime allowance of that emotion.”

  “Don’t be ridiculous. Tom seems like a really great guy and he’s been a devoted friend to you this past year even if he does seem a bit conservative and stuffy.”

  “He’s not stuffy,” Noelle replied, all too aware of where this conversation would lead.

  “Oh please,” Julia teased. “I guarantee you he voted for Evan Rhodes in the presidential election. It’s probably Tom’s fault we’re about to be saddled with that Republican in the Oval Office for the next four years.”

  Noelle struggled not to roll her eyes. Her sister-in-law was a diehard Democrat and she’d taken her party’s loss in the latest presidential election hard. “You know, Julia, you’re really going to have to let the election go. I’ve been reading some of the interviews Rhodes has done since winning and maybe he won’t be as bad as you think.”

  “Yeah, well, that remains to be seen. So where are you going to meet Tom?”

  “I don’t know yet. He said he’d plan the whole thing, find us a hotel and all I have to worry about is packing.”

  “Hmmm, sounds romantic. You know, I’ve been thinking Ross and I should take a little trip over the holidays as well.

  Noelle grinned. “Is that right?”

  “Well, actually, you and I both know hell would freeze over before Ross would let you run off to meet this guy alone.”

  “Yeah. Damn overprotective brother.” Noelle laughed as she spoke.

  “You aren’t arguing,” Julia said. “I thought you’d argue.”

  “Would there be a point? This is Ross we’re talking about.”

  “You won’t even know we’re there,” Julia assured her. “We’ll just check into the same hotel and be close by if you need us. Even though I have no doubt Tom is a great guy, you can’t be completely sure.”

&
nbsp; Admittedly, Noelle felt relieved by Julia’s suggestion. One of her biggest concerns about accepting Tom’s invitation had been the ingrained fear associated with meeting someone online. With her family nearby, that problem would be solved.

  “This is a good idea,” Julia continued. “If he’s as great as he seems, you’ll have an amazing holiday. If things don’t work out, you’ll still have an amazing holiday—only difference is, you’ll be with us.”

  “Okay. You’re right. This could be a lot of fun. God knows it would be better than the three of us hanging around that Charlie Brown Christmas tree Ross dragged over here for me.”

  Julia laughed. “Is it still shedding?”

  “I swear there are more pine needles on the floor than on the tree and it’s only the first week of December.” Chuckling, Noelle sat down on her bed and relaxed for the first time since Tom’s proposal. “I’ll let you know the details as soon as Tom contacts me. Julia, I don’t know how I can thank you for—”

  “Hush,” Julia interrupted her again. “You’re my sister and I love you. You’d do the same for me. Can I go back to sleep now?”

  “I knew you were asleep!”

  Julia giggled. “Good night, Noelle.”

  Chapter Two

  The three weeks since Tom’s suggestion that they meet for the holidays seemed to alternate between flying by and crawling along at a snail’s pace. Every day lasted an eternity. However, now that the day they would meet had actually arrived, Noelle felt completely ill prepared.

  She’d driven from New York to Washington D.C. with Ross and Julia and she had to admit having her family come with her had been a godsend. They’d had such a fun time, talking, laughing, and singing Christmas carols Noelle had forgotten her nervousness until this moment. They’d gone to check into their hotel room and she’d been left to her own devices in the swanky penthouse suite Tom had reserved for her.