Unspeakable

by Elisabeth Naughton

  “I’m not sure I get the question.”

  “What’s your endgame?”

  He glanced around the kitchen, confused by her question because he thought he’d just answered that. “To help whoever I can help.”

  “That’s admirable, of course, but it’s not really solving the problem, is it?”

  Unsure where she was going, he let go of her hand and leaned back in his chair. “It is for the girls I’m able to help.”

  “I know. And it is. I’m not diminishing that at all. But . . . what if you didn’t have to help any of these girls? What if there weren’t any girls to help?”

  “I’m still not sure what you’re saying.”

  “I’m saying . . . what if there was no more Plague? Then those girls wouldn’t need you anymore.”

  Understanding hit him. He slowly crossed his arms over his chest and eyed her warily. “You want to take down the entire organization.”

  “Yes.”

  Yes. Just like that. With no fear in her eyes and no worry about the consequences to her personally. “You’re nuts. It can’t be done. It’s too big. Trust me. I’ve thought about it—a lot. It’s just not feasible for one—or even two—people.”

  “Listen to me.” She sat forward. “You heard Callahan last night. The cops haven’t been able to nail the ringleaders. I worked for the department for years. I only heard whispers about the Plague. Callahan confirmed it’s being kept quiet, which means someone in the department knows what they’re doing and who’s involved, and they don’t want them brought down. You and I have acquired more leads in the last week than anyone assigned to the case. Wouldn’t it be better to stop these people from ever traumatizing another girl than to try to rescue her after the fact? We could make that happen. Together.”

  He stared at her, completely confused as to why she’d put her life on the line like that. “Why?”

  “Why what?”

  “Why do you care? This isn’t personal for you. Be honest, Harper. Five days ago when you found out about Melony Strauss’s disappearance, you weren’t overly concerned with rescuing her. You were interested in bringing me down if I’d done anything to hurt her.”

  “You’re right.” She bit her lip and rested her elbows on the table. “But it wasn’t because I wasn’t concerned for her safety. It was because I thought you were the threat.” She dropped her hands into her lap and looked at him. “I was wrong about that. Very wrong. But you are also wrong about this not being personal for me. It is. Not the way it is for you, but I know what it’s like to be victimized. I’ve never been victimized the way these girls have, but I know what it’s like to be taken advantage of. I know what it’s like not to have anyone you can turn to for help. I know how powerless that feeling is.”

  “You’re talking about the reason you left the department, aren’t you?”

  Her lips thinned. “I guess I shouldn’t be surprised you know about that.”

  “I looked you up online.”

  “Ah.” She nodded. “Then you know I was accused of sexually harassing my partner and that my former partner came forward to corroborate his story and accuse me of the same thing.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I read. Sounds like you have a different version.”

  “Yes. I do.” She smoothed the hair back from her face. “I just . . . never told anyone about it because I knew I wouldn’t be believed.”

  “Do you think I won’t believe you?”

  “No. I know you will,” she said in a small voice. “It’s just . . . it’s not something I’m particularly proud of.”

  He leaned forward and took her hand in his again. “Proud like . . . frequenting-strip-clubs proud?”

  A soft chuckle slipped from her mouth, and the edges of her lips curled in a winsome smile. “Okay, maybe not that bad.”

  He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

  “No, I do want to. I . . .” She drew in a breath. “I was involved with my partner. The same one who accused me of sexual harassment. We had an affair that lasted about six months. An affair I went into even knowing he was married.”

  She didn’t pull her hand away, and he took that as a good sign, so he kept on rubbing her skin gently with his thumb, waiting for her to go on.

  “It was stupid. I wasn’t even that attracted to him. It’s just that after my dad died, I was struggling, and one night when I was in bad shape, he was there to comfort me. One thing led to another, and before I knew it we were seeing each other after hours and sneaking around. I didn’t like it. I knew it was wrong, and I wanted to put a stop to it, but . . .” She shrugged. “I was lonely.”

  “No one blames you for that, Harper.”

  “Tell that to his wife.” She sighed. “When I finally came to my senses and broke things off with him, he got upset. I think he was worried I’d tell people what had happened between us, but I had no intention of ever doing that. It’s not easy being a female cop. You have to be twice as tough as the men, and you have to put up with the constant misogyny and demeaning jokes on a daily basis. I didn’t want to be known as the ho who’d slept with her partner. So I asked my captain to be reassigned. And that didn’t go over well at all. When our captain went to him and asked him what had happened between us, he assumed I’d ratted him out, and he accused me of coming on to him, of using my legacy with the department to pressure him into having an affair with me. Only none of it was true.”

  “What did you do?” he asked softly.

  “I fought back, of course. Which only made things worse because then word of our affair got out and his wife heard about it. It got ugly. They eventually reassigned me to a new partner, but I felt like shit. Every day at work was a nightmare. I still had to see him in the office. But then things slowly died down, and I thought . . . okay, it’s all going to work out. Until, that is, my ex-partner from patrol—someone I’d never had anything but a platonic working relationship with—claimed I’d done the same thing to him.”

  “Why did he do that?”

  “I still have no idea. The only thing I can figure is that regardless of what year it is and all the advancement that has happened in the women’s movement, law enforcement is still a good ol’ boys’ club. I crossed an invisible line when I requested that transfer, and I learned quickly that the people I thought were my friends really weren’t. They rallied around him.”

  When she only frowned, he sighed and said, “I hear what you’re saying. And I think it’s admirable that you want to help these girls with the Plague. But it doesn’t change the fact that what you’re talking about doing is dangerous.”

  “I’m not afraid of the Plague.”

  “You should be. Look what happened last night.”

  “We beat them last night.”

  “Yeah, but they could have just as easily beaten us. You could have been killed last night, Harper.”

  Something in her eyes softened. Something that hit him hard, right in the center of his chest.

  She slid off her chair, crossed to him, straddled his lap, and, placing both hands on his bare shoulders, stared deep into his eyes. “You are absolutely irresistible when you are in macho, protective mode.”

  He inched his fingertips up her back, loving the way she fit against him, loving the warmth seeping from her into him—not just from where she was touching him but from the way she made him feel—wanted, cherished . . . home.

  His throat grew thick. He only wanted more of that feeling. Wanted more of her. “I’m not kidding. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me.”

  She slid her arms around his neck and kissed him. “The only thing that’s going to happen to me right now is you. Hopefully on this table.” She pressed her lips to his and squeezed her knees against his sides. “I’m not going anywhere.”

  Instead of unwinding that knot of worry inside him, her words only tightened the noose on his emotions. Because he was suddenly terrified at th
e thought of losing her right when he’d finally found her.

  He drew back before she could lure him into a mind-numbing kiss that made him forget his own name. “I’m not built for casual flings, Harper. You need to know that right now. And ‘macho, protective mode’ is pretty much who I am.”

  “I know it is.”

  He stared into her eyes, knowing from her admission that she didn’t have regular relationships. But he didn’t want to be a fling or an affair for her. He wanted to be everything. And he had no idea if she was ready for that, or even if she wanted the same.

  “Good thing I like macho, protective mode,” she whispered, leaning in to kiss him again. “I like it way more than I ever thought I could.”

  Dammit, he liked her way more than he ever thought he could. As he opened to her kiss and let her draw him into all her silky heat, he realized he didn’t just like her. He was falling for her. Falling fast, judging by the way he was already giving in to every single thing she wanted.

  He just didn’t know how that was going to impact his dealings with the Plague, or what that would mean for either of them in the long run.

  CHAPTER FOURTEEN

  By the time Harper finished up at the office, the good mood she’d been in from her tryst with Rusty in her kitchen was long gone. What she’d found in the office records didn’t implicate Andy per se, but it hadn’t made her feel any better about her current job.

  As the sun sank in the western sky, she pulled her Acura off the highway and turned onto the long drive that wound up a gradual hill to Rusty’s property near the top of the rise. He still hadn’t completely agreed to her whole bringing-down-the-Plague idea, but he hadn’t said no, and when she’d suggested they meet for dinner to discuss their strategy, he’d invited her to his place with a, “We’ll discuss it more later.”

  As far as she was concerned, there was nothing to discuss, but she wasn’t opposed to using her feminine wiles to convince him. Her belly warmed as she remembered the way she’d seduced him in the kitchen just this morning. It was crazy to be so wild about the man after such a short amount of time, but she didn’t care. For once she was doing what she wanted and ignoring the consequences. And for the moment she was also going to ignore that little voice in the back of her head telling her she needed to tell him about her deal with the commissioner. In all honesty, it really wasn’t even a big deal. And it had absolutely nothing to do with her relationship with the rough and sexy Russell McClane.

  She passed the sign that read BLACK SHEEP VINEYARDS and smirked at his joke. When she’d called that Uber earlier in the week and slipped out of his house in the wee hours of morning, she hadn’t paid much attention to his property. She’d just wanted to get away as fast as she could. Now she was anxious to see all of it because it was clearly important to him.

  She pulled to a stop next to his truck in the drive of his house. It was an older Craftsman-style farmhouse, with light-gray siding and white trim that looked as if it had been remodeled. Three steps led up to the wide, wraparound porch and old, red-painted door, and a couple of old wine barrels were placed on each side of the door, probably to hold plants, she realized, in the warmer months.

  She moved up the steps and knocked, but when he didn’t answer, she glanced back through the vineyard toward the old barn and the small, portable building next to it.

  He was probably still working. He’d told her before he’d left her house that he needed to check on the construction process for the winery this afternoon. Since it wasn’t raining, she decided to walk and drew in a breath of fresh air as she tucked her hands into the pockets of her leather jacket, relaxing more with every passing second.

  She liked the hustle and bustle of the city, but she had to admit, there was something about life in the country that had its appeal. It was quiet, for one. Traffic was a helluva lot easier to deal with. And the clean air was a definite plus.

  Hammering sounded from the direction of the barn. It was a gigantic structure with sharp rooflines and an enormous deck that looked down the hillside toward what she suspected was an incredible view. Two large doors were rolled open, and voices echoed from somewhere inside. She followed the sound and stepped into the massive space, glancing across the empty cement floor, searching for Rusty.

  She recognized his voice coming from somewhere above. Turning toward a wide set of stairs, she grabbed the temporary handrail and headed up, following the sexy timbre, remembering with a shiver she couldn’t control just what it had felt like when that sultry voice whispered naughty things in her ear last night.

  He was standing on the far side of the huge room, talking to a man in a yellow hard hat with a tool belt around his waist, both of them looking up at something on the ceiling. Tools and extension cords were strewn across the dusty, bare floorboards, and two sawhorses and a slab of wood were set up like a workbench in the far corner.

  For a second, she just stood there watching him, admiring the way he moved and that incredible voice that did crazy things to her blood. God, he was sexy in those loose jeans that hugged his ass perfectly and sat low on his hips. And the way the muscles in his shoulders and back flexed beneath the long-sleeved Henley as he lifted his arm and waved his hand toward whatever they were looking at only reminded her just how strong he was, how easily he’d picked her up last night, carried her upstairs, and done wicked things to her she couldn’t wait for him to do again.

  That pressure she’d felt in her chest this morning when she’d come downstairs and seen him in her kitchen in nothing but his boxers and that ridiculous apron squeezed her lungs all over again, stealing her breath, making her feel things she wasn’t sure she was ready for. She was in serious trouble with this man. Not just because he ignited a craving in her she’d never felt before but also because he made her want things she’d never even considered until right now . . . a life away from death and crime, a home—a real home—and a family of her own.

  Her skin grew hot. Her head, light. Reaching a shaky hand out, she searched for the wall, afraid her legs might go out from under her.

  A family of her own? Where had that thought come from?

  Across the room, almost as if he’d sensed her mini panic attack, Rusty turned, spotted her, and slowly smiled. And just that fast, whatever anxiety had tried to claim her slowly faded until all she felt was heat. Everywhere. And a burning need to feel him close.

  He said something to the man at his side she didn’t hear, then he crossed the floor to her and reached for her hand. “Hey. Sorry I wasn’t at the house when you got here. We were trying to figure out what to do with the doors that will lead out to the de—”

  She slid her hands up his chest and around his neck, then lifted to her toes and kissed him, cutting off his words, not even paying attention to what he’d been saying, just needing this. Him. For reasons she didn’t even want to question.

  He sucked in one surprised breath, then opened to her kiss and wrapped his arms around her lower back, pulling her up against him, right where she wanted to be most.

  When she was breathless, he drew back and looked down at her with a sexy grin. “I guess that means you missed me.”

  “Maybe a little.”

  He laughed and kissed the tip of her nose.

  “This is a great space.”

  He released her, but he didn’t go far, and he didn’t let go of her hand as he said, “Thanks. It’s coming along. Still needs walls. And doors. And windows.”

  “All in good time,” the guy in the yellow hard hat called, making a mark on the floor where he and Rusty had been standing before.

  Rusty chuckled, then looked down at Harper. “That’s Matt, my contractor. Who promises we’re going to come in on time and under budget,” he called over his shoulder.

  “Then you better get out of my hair and let me work,” Matt answered, not looking back at Rusty.

  Rusty turned back to Harper. “Want a tour?”

  “Sure.”

  He showed her all around th
e barn, pointing out where the tasting counter would be, the tasting room with couches and tables and chairs, and the deck; then he led her downstairs and showed her the processing facility and, finally, where his office would be.

  “What about storage?” she asked, having a hard time imagining it all finished. Right now, it was just a giant, open space, but the excitement in his voice told her he already had every inch of it mapped out.

  “Don’t need it up here. That’s what the caves are for.”

  “Caves?”

  “Yeah. They’re the whole reason I bought this property. There were two small caves in the hillside that I excavated early on. The bigger one will be used for storage and aging, the smaller one for tastings and events. Eventually I want to do wine pairings and dinners. Tourists will eat that up.”

  This was his passion, she realized. The way his eyes lit up when he talked about the winery and new tasting room made him look like a kid on Christmas morning. And it softened the lines around his eyes and took away some of that dark, brooding mystery that had seemed to hover around him from the moment they met.

  “Do you wanna go down and see the caves?” he asked.

  Her stomach grumbled before she could answer.

  He smiled and reached for her hand. “Don’t answer that. Let’s eat first. Lots of time to see the caves.”

  Good. She was suddenly famished. She hadn’t eaten since breakfast, she realized.

  The sun was almost behind the mountains by the time they left the barn and headed back to his farmhouse. As they stepped into the foyer, he let go of her hand and took her coat, turning to hang it on a coat tree to the right of the door. “Are you hungry? I’ve got steaks out of the freezer.”

  “Mm. The fastest way into this woman’s pants is straight through her stomach.”

  He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her temple before reaching for her hand and leading her past the staircase and into the kitchen. “There’s wine on the counter. Why don’t you pour two glasses while I go start the barbecue on the deck?”