Carolina

by Sara Mullins

  “That’s my dad.”

  “Aww, you look like him.”

  “Yeah, that’s what most people say. I got my dad’s looks and my mother’s charm,” he told her, with a flirty nudge of his elbow.

  “Hey,” she responded, with a playful slap on his bicep.

  He turned and laughed, and she smiled back at him. Then he looked at her in a way that she had not seen before. He made eye contact with her, then his gaze moved from her eyes to her hair. He followed the strands of hair back to her pierced ears. His left hand slowly lifted to her face and he brushed a fallen clump back to her ear. Her breath left her for a moment and her heart seemed to stop, along with everything around her. He looked back into her eyes, and she got a strong, almost uncontrollable urge to press her lips against his. He cleared his throat and looked away at another picture. Perhaps he was feeling the same, she thought.

  “So, do you want to take a walk with me before we go back out?”

  “I’d love that,” she answered, swallowing the lump in her throat.

  “Alright. There’s a trail back here that makes a loop through the woods. It’s not too long, but it’s a nice walk.”

  “Sounds great,” she replied.

  He led her back out of the cabin and they walked around to the back, where she immediately spotted the trailhead. They strolled into the trees. The path flowed like a river, weaving and curving as if Mother Nature herself had put it there. They ambled along the trail, listening to the sounds around them. There was the singing of what had to be hundreds of birds, mixed with the crunching of old leaves beneath their feet. Eventually, they came to an opening in the woods that allowed the sunlight to shine down to the forest floor. The entire area was almost covered in daisies. Nicole stopped in her tracks and stared at the sea of white, highlighted by the rays of sun beaming down.

  Mark stopped and looked back at Nicole, then he looked at the patch of daisies ahead.

  “I thought you might like this. Every year when they bloom, I come back here just to look at them. They don’t even seem real,” he said. Then he heard a new sound . . . Nicole was sobbing, her face buried in her hands. “Oh my God, are you okay? Nicole?” He walked up and placed his hand on her back, trying to see her face.

  She wiped the tears away from her eyes and dropped her arms down to her sides. “I’m fine. I’m so sorry. I didn’t expect this, and it caught me off guard, that’s all.” Nicole paused for a moment and Mark patiently waited for her to continue. “My mother loved daisies. They were her favorite flower. She always kept a bouquet of them on the dining room table in the spring. They were so beautiful and cheerful.” Nicole closed her eyes and smiled. “I can smell them with the scent of the muffins she made for us. She would open all the windows and let the morning air in. Then she’d sit a tray of blueberry muffins on the table with some butter. My sister and I would eat them while they were hot so the butter would melt. The room filled with the scent of blueberries, the morning dewy grass, and the daisies on the table.”

  Nicole stopped talking and opened her eyes. She turned and looked at Mark. “I’m sorry, I’m not trying to be a party pooper. I just miss her. I miss both of them.”

  “I can’t even imagine how hard it must be for you. And you don’t need to apologize to me for that. I should be apologizing to you for making you think about it . . . again.”

  “No, it’s okay. Trying not to think about it doesn’t change what happened. All I can do now is remember the good things,” she said.

  “You are so strong. I don’t think I could be that strong,” Mark said.

  “You might surprise yourself. And thanks, but I don’t know if I’m that strong. I feel like all I do is run away from things.”

  “Run away? From what?”

  “Well, when my parents died, I was in the middle of my junior year in college. I came home to go to their funeral, and then it was like I went back to school to escape from having to think about it. I felt so guilty,” she said.

  “There is nothing wrong with that. I’m sure they would have wanted you to keep going to school, just like you would have if they were still here. And I’m sure it helped you to take your mind off of things, too.”

  “Yeah, I think it did. Or maybe I ignored it long enough that the pain disappeared. Either way, I went back to school and I ended up meeting this guy. He turned out to be a terrible person. So, I came back home as soon as I graduated. Once again, I had to run away.” Nicole faded off and looked down. “I’m sorry, I probably shouldn’t be telling you this.”

  “It’s alright, you can tell me whatever you want. So, what happened, you know, with this guy?” Mark asked out of curiosity.

  “Well, in the beginning, everything was fine. He seemed really nice and respectful. Then, as time went on, he started to change. He started getting jealous of stupid stuff, like when I would talk to a male classmate about an assignment, or even the cashier at the store. If it was any guy other than him, he would flip out. At first, he just questioned me about it, then he started accusing me of things. I told him over and over that I would never do anything like that, and it was like he refused to believe me.” She stopped for a second and Mark watched her closely, wanting her to continue.

  “Then he started hitting me,” she said quietly, staring at the daisies. “The first time he did it, I was really upset, but I kind of let it go, thinking it was, I don’t know, an accident, I guess. Of course, he apologized and promised it would never happen again. But it did. It happened again. I was so ashamed of myself for letting him do it and so scared of what he would do to me if I ended it. Eventually, I took the chance and told him to stay away from me. I was almost done with school, so I finished my classes as fast as possible and I left the day I graduated. I ran. I ran back home.”

  “Nicole, that is not running, that is taking care of yourself and your safety. You did the right thing by leaving, just like you did the right thing when you went back to school after your parents passed away. Try to stop being so hard on yourself. You seem like one hell of a tough woman to me and you have endured a lot more than most people could,” Mark reassured her.

  Nicole gazed up at him with teary eyes. “Thank you. I really appreciate that.”

  “I mean it,” he continued. He reached out with his right arm, wrapped it around her, and pulled her in against his body. His left hand caressed the back of her head and she immediately felt safe. He held her for a moment, then pulled back to look into her eyes again. “Everything’s gonna be alright now.”

  “I hope so, ‘cause I’m exhausted,” she said, finding a way to lighten up the mood.

  “I can’t even imagine,” he said. “So, how about we finish our walk, then we can go back on the water if you want?”

  “Yes, that would be so nice right now.”

  The two enjoyed the rest of the trail. It brought them out on the other side of the pond close to the dock, the boat still resting on the shore of the other side. They continued walking around the water. As they passed the cattails, the bullfrogs croaked and took shelter under the water one by one. Neither of them had spoken much since they’d left the patch of daisies. Nicole was a little embarrassed for getting so upset, and Mark wanted to let her have some space and time to recover. What seemed like a million thoughts raced through each of their minds, yet neither one could produce any words.

  As they neared the boat, Nicole tried to think of something to say. She managed to get out “So,” and he began to ask “Would,” simultaneously. He laughed and said, “Sorry, go ahead.”

  “Well, I didn’t actually know what I was going to say. I figured the right thing would come out once I started,” Nicole said.

  “Oh,” he replied bashfully.

  Nicole waited a moment for him to begin, then decided to help him out a little. “What were you gonna say?”

  “Oh, I just wanted to know if you would like to come over to my house tomorrow. I can take ya for a ride on the wheeler if you want and show you my project c
ar. There isn’t a lot to do, but . . .”

  “I would love to,” she answered swiftly.

  “That’s good. I was afraid you were starting to think I’m gonna make you feel like crap all the time,” he said, running his fingers through his hair.

  “No, actually, you’ve made me feel better than I have in a long time.”

  “Wow, seriously?” He paused and raised his eyebrows. “I’m flattered, and a little shocked. Thanks.”

  She grinned at him and almost stumbled into the boat. “You sure you want me to go out there and show you how to fish again?” Nicole asked him.

  “Come to think of it, I don’t know. You’re making me look bad.”

  “Oh, come on now. You caught . . . a few.”

  He let out a chuckle and said, “Gee, thanks.”

  “Sorry, I’m just giving you a hard time,” she said.

  “I wouldn’t be sorry if I were you. It was a pathetic performance.”

  “Well, I’ll tell you what you told me,” she said. “Try not to be so hard on yourself.”

  “That’s right,” Mark said.

  They climbed back into the boat and, with a little more luck, he finally started reeling them in. The afternoon sailed by and neither of them felt remotely interested in leaving. They ate Mark’s delicious sandwiches, enjoyed an ice-cold pop, and rowed around the pond for hours. Nicole closed her eyes for a minute to allow her other senses to soak in the surroundings. She opened them and looked down at the water. Other than the small wake behind them, the water was smooth. It mirrored the image of the trees trying to touch the clouds. The water bugs skimmed alongside the boat as if racing them on their lap around.

  The sun trekked across the blue sky and the hours of remaining daylight dwindled. Nicole began to feel a sense of sadness, knowing that the day was almost over. Mark started rowing back to the dock, though he was in no hurry to get there. “I guess I better get you home,” he said.

  “Yes, Lord knows Salem is probably lost without me,” Nicole joked.

  Mark reached out as they approached the dock. He tied off the boat and Nicole helped him carry everything back to the truck. They both climbed in. He started the truck and immediately threw his arm on the back of the seat. As usual, he looked gorgeous sitting there. His black hair was perfectly imperfect, and his jeans had holes in the knees that couldn’t have been there when he bought them. She rested her hands on her knees but quickly began fidgeting. He looked at her and smiled at her nervous demeanor, then grabbed the wheel to leave.

  Nicole wanted the ride home to last forever, but they reached her driveway in what felt like a minute. The sun was hovering above the horizon, illuminating all the bugs that were flying over the freshly planted fields. He pulled up to her house, parked the truck, and turned it off. They sat for a moment and stared at the view across the field.

  “I had a lot of fun today, Mark. Thank you for inviting me over. I hadn’t fished in so long. It felt nice to finally feel . . . relaxed,” Nicole said.

  “I’m glad you liked it. You are welcome to come over whenever you want. Of course, next time you have to take it easy on me.”

  “I can’t make any promises.”

  “I hear ya,” he said. “All I know is I got my work cut out for me tomorrow.”

  “Why is that?” she asked out of curiosity.

  “‘Cause I don’t know how I’m gonna top today.”

  Nicole nodded. “Today was pretty great.” She glanced at the living room window where Salem was watching on closely. “So, how do I get to your house tomorrow?” she asked.

  “Oh, that’s easy. It’s the next house down on the left from where we were today.”

  “Cool, I don’t think I can screw that up. What time do you want me to come over?”

  “Whenever you want is fine. I’ll be there,” Mark said.

  “Well, alright then,” she said, reaching for the door handle. “I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

  “See ya.”

  Nicole gave him a little wave, then walked into the house and shut the door behind her. She leaned back on the door for a moment in disbelief. She gave him a second to start his truck and begin driving, then she peered out the window to watch him roll away. Salem looked up at her from his favorite resting place on the windowsill.

  “Isn’t he perfect?” she asked the cat.

  She flopped down on the couch, having good memories to think about for once. Realizing that her stomach was feeling a little neglected, Nicole made her way to the kitchen and warmed up some soup. She threw on her pajamas and kicked back in the corner of the couch with her legs tucked under her butt.

  The remaining hours of the evening dragged on and she finally began to get tired. As usual, she grabbed a blanket and remained on the couch so she could continue to watch TV. This was her habitual way of drowning out all the negative thoughts. This night, she remained there purely because she was accustomed to it and the cushions had formed to her curves. Unlike most nights, she closed her eyes without any tears.

  Chapter 6

  The following morning, Nicole woke up to a beam of sunlight shining into her right eye between the curtain and window frame. She slowly sat up and wiped the hair away from her face. An odd sense of confusion came over her and she thought that she had had the best dream in ages. Then she remembered that it all had actually happened. She stood up and allowed her joints to crack before heading to the bathroom to brush her teeth and hop in the shower.

  Nicole had never been on a four-wheeler before, so she didn’t know what to wear. In the end, she decided on the reliable old T-shirt and shorts. She abandoned the flimsy flip-flops, though, and wore her boots instead. After scarfing down a bowl of cereal, she glanced at the clock. It was only 9:08.

  Is it too early to head over there? She pondered the question in her head. I’ll just call him, she thought, reaching for her phone. With the phone grasped in her left hand, it dawned on her that she didn’t know his number. She forced herself to plop on the couch and wait a little longer before grabbing her keys and purse and heading out the door. She couldn’t stand to wait another minute.

  It looked like it was going to be another beautiful day. The sky was blue, the grass was green, and the sun, now far enough from the horizon, was burning yellow. It had lost the glow of orange and red that had previously surrounded it. In the west, towering peaks of glowing cumulonimbus clouds could be seen approaching. It looked like the backdrop of a movie set.

  Nicole started down the road and turned the radio up a little, hoping the music would make the time go faster. She felt surprisingly calm considering the circumstances. Once she turned on his road, though, the excitement began to set in. Across the field to the right, she could see a giant cluster of trees. From the outside, it looked like every other patch of woods amongst the fields, but she knew of the secret paradise that was housed within. Nicole passed the locked gate and continued down the gravel road. The dust behind her engulfed the back of her car. Just ahead, she could see Mark’s truck sitting in the driveway. She slowed down, turned in, and parked next to his truck. The dust particles drifted up the road a little bit until the cloud began to dissipate. She got out and shut the door. Bentley started barking as he ran up to her and she bent down to give him a friendly greeting.

  “I’m back here!” Mark yelled from behind the house somewhere.

  She stood back up and started around the house, Bentley leading the way. The back yard was huge and most of it was fenced in. There was an old barn in the corner that had lost some siding over the years. She strolled up to the gate, but she couldn’t see anyone or anything.

  “Hello?” Nicole yelled across the yard.

  “I’m in the barn! Come on back!”

  Nicole walked through the gate and headed to the barn, making sure to not step in any animal droppings. When she walked inside, she was immediately greeted by two horses whose heads were poking out from the stalls on the left. The scent in the air was a mix of straw and manure. A wheelba
rrow, nearly full to the top, was parked in front of an open stall. Mark scooped up one last load with the pitchfork and tossed it into the pile. Then he walked out of the stall and leaned against the door frame.

  “I see you made it,” he said. He took his hat off and lifted his shirt to wipe the sweat off his face.

  Nicole dropped her purse in the dirt and picked it up as fast as it had fallen. She watched him in silence, feeling somewhat dirty at the way she was staring at him. She caught a glimpse of his chest and stomach for a moment as he wiped his face. From the look of it, he had cut the sleeves off the shirt years ago, coincidentally allowing his arms to be on perfect display. Mark let his shirt back down and crossed his arms. His jeans and boots were filthy, but she found it rather enjoyable.

  “I’m sorry, I planned on finishing before you got here.” He looked at her and tried to evaluate her silence. “I promise I will shower first,” he said, glancing down at his clothes.

  “Oh, it’s okay, it doesn’t bother me. And it’s my fault, anyway, for getting here so early.” She paused for a moment, then realized that she was still staring at him. “Sorry, I guess I shouldn’t just stand here and gawk at you like some kind of weirdo.” Nicole looked down at her feet, trying to hide her embarrassment.

  Mark laughed. “It’s alright, I did tell you to come over whenever you want. Let me close up and we’ll go in.”

  “You want me to help with anything?”

  “Nah, it will only take me a second. Besides, I’d feel terrible if you had to get all dirty.” He winked at her, knowing something that she did not.

  Nicole stepped outside the door and placed her right hand on her chest, catching her breath. She admired the house and yard as she waited.

  “Hey, the horses don’t bother you, do they? I’m gonna let ‘em out.”

  “They don’t bother me at all,” she said. “Go for it.”

  One by one, he let the horses out of their stalls, and they galloped into the pasture. Bentley remained unfazed by the horses and stood by her side, waiting for Mark to come out. He hung up the pitchfork and walked toward her. “Come on.” He nodded his head toward the house.