by Robin Hobb
“Maybe you’re the right audience for such words. And maybe I don’t care if I sound foolish, for I know it’s the truth. ”
“Oh, Leftrin. ” She turned to look out over the river, resting her teacup on the ship’s railing. “What are we going to do?” She hadn’t known she was going to ask him that. The question came out of her as naturally as the steam that rose off her tea.
He purposely misunderstood her. “Well, Carson left before dawn. We’re going to hold in place here for a day. The dragons can rest a bit and gorge some more. A little bit upriver, they found an eddy full of acid-killed fish. So we’ll let them eat and rest while Carson continues the search. He’ll go another full day down the river. If he finds survivors, he’ll guide them back to us. If he finds nothing, he’ll give it up and come on back to us. He took the horn with him, and the sound carries quite a ways. I heard him blow three long blasts, not that long ago. ”
“I didn’t hear it. ”
“Well, it was faint, and I’m accustomed to listening for such things. ” Something in his tone rang oddly to her. She sensed a secret but was willing, for now, to let it go.
“Do you think he’ll find anyone else?”
“It’s impossible to predict a thing like that. But we found almost all our survivors in one place. So, it seems to me that what that river picked up in one place, it kept mostly together and dumped in another place. ”
He stopped talking, but she pieced his logic together. “So you think that if anyone survived to be found, they would have been with us. ”
He nodded reluctantly. “Most likely. But we found that dragon off by herself. ”
“And Warken’s body. ”
“And the body,” he agreed. “That says to me that most everything that was in our area when the wave hit was carried by the wash to this area. ”
She was silent for a time. “Heeby and Rapskal? The copper dragon?”
“Probably dead and on the bottom. Or buried under debris. Dead dragons that size wouldn’t be hard to spot. ”
“And Sedric?”
His silence was longer than hers had been. Finally he said, “Speaking bluntly, Alise, the keepers survived because they’re tough. Their skin can stand up to these waters. They all know how to climb a tree if they can get to one. They’re made for this life. Sedric wasn’t. There was no muscle to that man to begin with, and his long days of lying abed, sick or not, would only have weakened him more. I try to imagine him swimming in that wave, and I can’t. I fear he’s gone. It’s not your fault. I don’t think it’s my fault, either. I think it’s just what happened. ”
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Did he mention fault only because he secretly knew it was her fault? “I brought him into this, Leftrin. He wasn’t your idea of tough, I know. But in his own way, he was strong, capable, and very competent. He was Hest’s right hand. I’ll never know why he decided to send him with me. ” Her words stuttered to a halt. Unless Hest had believed that she deserved the kind of watching over her that Sedric had tried to provide.
“I wasn’t saying he wasn’t a good man, only that I doubted he was a good swimmer,” Leftrin said gently. “And we don’t have to give up hope. We’ve got a strong man looking for him. I think Carson wants to find him as badly as you do. ”
“I’m grateful to him. I don’t know how to thank him for being so determined. ”
Leftrin gave a small cough. “Well, I think he’s hoping that Sedric will do the thanking. Them being the same kind of men and all. ”
“The same kind of men? I can’t think of two men more unlike. ”
Leftrin shot her an odd look and then shrugged. “Like enough in the ways that matter to them, I’m thinking. But let’s let that go. It’s enough to say that Carson won’t give up easily. ”
“SO WHY DID you do it, then? If you didn’t think you were, well, in love with him?”
Jerd lifted one shoulder. “I guess that I’d decided I was going to live my own life just as soon as I left Trehaug. It was like keeping a promise to myself. And”—she smiled wryly—“he was the first. It was flattering, I guess, that someone as soft-skinned as him would, well, want me. I don’t have to explain that to you. After a lifetime of being told that no one should touch you, that no one would or could touch you because you were born too much of a monster? Then a soft-skinned boy with a gentle manner doesn’t seem to think it matters…that just made me feel free. So I decided to be free. ”
“So. ” Thymara swallowed and tried to think how to phrase her next question. She was the one who had sought Jerd out. And she’d been surprised that the other girl hadn’t rebuffed her attempts at conversation. Neither of them had brought up Thymara’s spying on her and Greft. With a bit of luck, neither of them would. Perhaps Jerd was as uncomfortable about that as she was. She considered her question one last time. Did she really want to know?
“So, then, he came to you. Not you to him. ”
Jerd glanced across at her and made a disparaging face. “I followed him into the woods. Is that what you’re asking? Or are you asking who touched whom first? Because I’m not sure I remember…” She sat up straighter, put her hand on her slight belly, and asked, “Why do you care, anyway?”
Thymara was suddenly sure that Jerd did remember, perfectly well. And she saw that she had just handed the other girl a little knife that she could use to dig at her anytime she wanted. “I don’t know,” she lied. “I just wondered. ”
“If you want him, you can have him,” Jerd offered magnanimously. “I mean, I’ve got Greft, you know. And it isn’t like I wanted Tats permanently. I wouldn’t take him away from you. ”
So she thought she could. Could she? “And you didn’t want Rapskal permanently?” Thymara countered. “Nor any of them?”
If she’d thought to pierce the other girl, she’d missed. Jerd gave a laugh. “No, not Rapskal! Though he was sweet, so boyish, and so handsome. But once with him was enough for me! He laughed in such a silly way; very annoying. Oh! I’m sorry he’s gone, though. I know you were close, and I’m sure you didn’t find his silly ways annoying at all. It must be very hard for you to lose him. ”
The bitch. Thymara willed her throat not to close, her eyes not to tear, and failed. It wasn’t that she’d been in love with him. He was just too strange. But he’d been Rapskal and her friend; his absence left a hole in her life.
“It is hard. Too hard. ” Without apology or explanation, Thymara swung her legs to the other side of the railing and hopped down. As she did, she felt a brief vibration of sympathy from Tarman. As she walked away, she let her hand trail along the railing, assuring him of her mutual regard for him. She saw Hennesey, the mate, give her an odd look and immediately lifted her hand from the railing. He gave her a slow, unsmiling nod as she passed. She’d crossed a line just then and she knew it. She wasn’t part of Tarman’s crew and had no right to communicate with the ship that way. Even if he had started it.
That thought brought an unwelcome comparison to what Jerd had said about Tats. She forced herself to think about it. Did it matter if Tats had initiated things with Jerd? Wasn’t it something that was over and done with?
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“NOW, JUST STAY like that. Rest and don’t move. I’ll try to find more food for you. ”
“Very well. ”
Sedric looked again at the dragon on her bed of logs and marveled at all of it, at the logs they had moved together, at how he had visualized it and created it, and how he had managed to get her up and out of the water. In the process of finding logs he could move and shifting them toward her, he had discovered several large dead fish floating in the water, and one carcass that might have been a monkey. Touching the soft dead things had been disgusting. Not fresh, she had complained, but she’d eaten them. Then, despite the sting of the water, he’d scrubbed most of the stink from them off his hands.
“We work well together. ” She spoke in
his ears and in his mind.
“We do,” he agreed, and he tried not to wonder too much if that were a good thing.
It had taken the morning and half the afternoon to achieve this. He’d seen that if he could force several of the larger logs up against the trees, he might be able to secure them there and make a dragon-size raft. He’d begun with one log that was already butted firmly against several thick trees. The eddying current held it there. He’d moved the brush, small branches, and other debris that was packed between it and another log. It had been wet heavy work, and his soaked clothing still chafed against his river-scalded skin. Long before he had finished, his hands were stiff and sore, his back ached, and he felt almost dizzy from the effort. Relpda had been impatient as he worked, mooing her distress and fear. Slowly her anxiety had crept into irritation and anger.
Help me! Slipping. Help. Not do wood. Help ME!
“I’m trying to. I’m building something for you, something you can get onto. ”
Anger made her thrash both tail and wings, nearly knocking him into the water. “Help now! Build later!”
“Relpda, I have to build first, then help. ”
NO! Her wild trumpeting split the sky, and the force of her thought staggered him.
“Don’t do that,” he warned her. “If I fall in the river and drown, you’ll be alone. No one to help you. ”
Fall in, I eat you! Then no build trees. She sent him the thought silently but with no less force.
“Relpda!” For a moment, he was both outraged and terrified that she would threaten him. Then the cold current of fear that underlay her words snaked through his heart. She didn’t understand. She thought he was ignoring her. “Relpda, look: if I can push enough of the big trees together here and make them stay, then—”
Help Relpda NOW!
She pushed him again with her thought, and he almost blacked out. He responded in anger. “Look at what I’m trying to do!” And he shoved back hard against her stubborn little lizard brain, sending her the image of a thick raft of logs and branches, with Relpda curled safely upon it.
She snorted furiously and hit the water with her wings, splashing him. Then, Oh, she exclaimed. Now I see. It all makes sense. I’ll help you.
Her sudden fluency astounded him. “What?”
I’ll help you push the logs into place. And clear the brush that blocks them from fitting snugly together.
She was in his mind, using his vision, his thoughts, his words. He shuddered at the sudden intimacy, and she shivered her hide in response. He tried to pull back from her and couldn’t. On his second effort, she reluctantly parted her thoughts from his.
Relpda help?
“Yes. Relpda help,” he’d replied when he felt he could form words of his own again.
And she had. Despite her weariness and the soreness of her clawed feet, she swam about, pushing debris out of the way and shoving logs where he indicated. When their first effort came to pieces, she’d given one shrill trumpet of protest and despair. And then, when he called her back to their task, she’d come. She’d listened to him as he directed her to sink logs and push them under their row of timbers. When he told her she’d have to tread water while he roped their latest effort with their pitifully short piece of line, she’d done it. And then, cautiously, she’d clambered up onto her uneven bed of logs. And rested. Her body began to warm. He hadn’t realized how much her exhaustion had been affecting him until she suddenly relaxed. He nearly fainted with her relief.
Sleep now.
“Yes. You sleep. It’s what you need most right now. ”
He himself needed food. And water. How pathetic to long, not for wine or well-prepared food, but a simple drink of water. And now he was right back to where he had been hours ago, except that most of his daylight was gone. Soon darkness would fall, and he’d be back to huddling under a smelly blanket in a small boat. He glanced at the sky and decided that he had to at least try to find where Jess had found the fruit.
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Meat. She’d been following his thoughts sleepily, and the idea of fruit didn’t please her. Find meat. She let the sharpness of her hunger touch him. He was appalled. He’d just fed her!
Not enough.
“Maybe I’ll find some meat. ” Then, trying to accept the desperation of their situation, he forced himself to say, “I’ll try. ”
He walked back to the boat and looked at the selection of animal-killing tools that remained to him. The hatchet still lay in the bloody bilgewater. His gorge rose as he picked it out and set it on the seat to dry. Jess’s blood, diluted with slimy water, was on his hands now. He knelt and thrust his hand down through the matted debris and into the river water to sluice it off. To his surprise, it did not sting as he had expected it to. Was he becoming accustomed to it? A glance around at the river showed him that not only was it far less acid than it had been, but that the level was much lower. The high water mark on the tree trunks was well over his head now.
He worked his way over to the cage of tree trunks that edged the river, stepping from log to log. Sometimes they bobbed deeper than he expected, and one spun under his foot, nearly dumping him into the river. But at last he stood at the edge of the forest, looking up at the trees. He knew he’d seen Jess descend one of those trunks, but they all suddenly looked much smoother than they had before. When was the last time he’d climbed a tree? He couldn’t have been more than ten years old, and it had been a friendly apple tree, its branches laden with sweet fruit. The memory of those apples made him swallow hard against his hunger. Well, no help for it. Up he must go.
The horn’s long low call startled him. He spun to face it as Relpda lifted her head and trumpeted out a response to it. The sound seemed to come from all around him. He stared around wildly, even looking up into the trees. Relpda was gazing upstream and as he watched her, she lifted her chin again and trumpeted.
By hops and tiptoeing runs, he ventured to the very edge of the packed debris and peered upriver. The light on the water dazzled him and for a time he could see nothing. Then, as if salvation were appearing in response to his most heartfelt dream, he made out the outline of a small boat and a man at the oars. And it was coming toward them. He lifted both his arms and waved them over his head. “Hey! Over here, over here!” he shouted, and in response, the man in the boat lifted a hand and waved at him.
Slowly, so slowly, the boat and its occupant grew larger. Sedric’s eyes ran with tears, and not all of them were from the effort of keeping his light-dazzled gaze on the water. Carson recognized him before he knew the hunter. “SEDRIC!” he cried, sending his deep-chested shout of joy across the water to him. Then the hunter redoubled his efforts with the oars. It still seemed an eternity before Sedric could kneel and catch the line that Carson tossed to him. He drew the boat in close to the logs and then didn’t know what else to do. He was grinning foolishly, trembling with relief.
“Thank Sa you’re alive! And the dragon, too? That’s a double miracle, then. And she’s up and out of the water! How did you do it? Look at you! The river worked you over, didn’t it? Here, let me take that and I’ll make her fast. What do you need first? Water? Food? I thought I’d find you half dead if I found you at all!”
He stood shaking as Carson did all the talking for both of them. In moments the boat was secured to the edge of the debris island, and without his asking, Carson was offering him a waterskin. He drank greedily, paused to mutter, “Sa be praised and thank you,” before drinking again. Carson watched him, his grin white in his beard. He looked weary and yet so triumphant that he shone.
As Sedric returned the waterskin to him, the hunter pushed a flat ship’s biscuit into his hands. Sedric suddenly felt giddy with the smell of food. Perhaps he swayed on his feet, for Carson caught his elbow. “Sit down. Sit down and eat slow. You’re going to be all right now. You’ve had a bad time, but everything’s come right now. For you, too!” he assured
Relpda as the dragon trumpeted her protest that Sedric was eating and she wasn’t. Sedric was grateful but suddenly so hungry he could scarcely focus on Carson’s words or Relpda’s complaints. He broke off a piece of the hard bread and chewed it slowly. His jaw hurt, and he couldn’t chew on the bruised side. Swallowing food made the pain worth it. He broke off another bite and ate it slowly.
Carson left him and went over to speak with the dragon. When he came back, he was shaking his head in admiration. “That’s a nice bit of work there; it will probably fall apart if she moves around at all, but having a place to haul out is better than any of the other dragons have had. ”
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The words slowly penetrated Sedric’s mind, and he remembered that there were more things in the world to consider than just food and water. He spoke with his broken mouth full. “Who survived?”
“Well, more survived than went missing. Took us a day or two, but we’ve gathered up most everyone. Now that I’ve found you and the copper, we’re only missing Rapskal, his dragon, and Jess. We found poor Warken dead, and Ranculos is badly bruised, but other than some injuries, everyone else is fine. How about you? You look more battered than anyone else. ”
He touched his face self-consciously. “A bit. ”
Carson gave a low laugh. “From here, it looks like more than ‘a bit’ to me. So. It’s only you and the dragon here. No one else?”
“Only us,” he replied guardedly. How would Carson feel if he knew that he and Relpda had killed the other hunter? He had frequently seen the two men together on the boat, and they often partnered each other in their hunting tasks. Now was no time to risk offending his savior. If he said nothing about Jess, no one would ever know.
Unless Relpda said something.
A tremor of fear went through him. The dragon reacted to it. Danger? Eat hunter?
“No, Relpda, no. No danger. The hunter will find food for you, but not right now. ” He mended her words as best he could and then said to Carson quietly, “She’s been a bit more confused since the big wave. ”
“Well. I think we all have. But she has a point. She has to be ravenous. She was never fat to begin with, and it looks like the last couple of days have winnowed her down. Relpda? I know that dragons prefer fresh meat, but I saw an elk carcass floating not far from here. Shall I show you where?”