Rebel Without a Clue

by Cathy Gaitan

  When we pull up Mercy’s hanging out the upstairs window while Oz tries to drag her back inside by the hem of her huge pink gown. “Let go of me you evil Warlock! I’ve got power and I’m not afraid to use it,” she shouts at the top of her lungs.

  Oz sees me and grumbles, “It took you long enough. Here she is.” He lets go of her dress and gives her a shove to get her going in the right direction. Down.

  Luckily Bea slows her fall so when she finally lands it’s with a soft thump instead of a loud splat. Hildie tries to snap a pic of Mercy with her dress around her ears but I put my hand up to block the lens. I pull the hem back where it belongs and help Mercy up.

  Bibidee Bea looks her over begins to laugh. “What is up with the giant pink marshmallow dress?”

  Boom Hildie shakes her head. “This is what you call a dancing dress?”

  DaniElle looks baffled. “It took you four days to come up with that,” she asks pointing at the now grass stained balloon of a dress.

  “Why did you come to Oz instead of me?” As far as I’m concerned, the most important question.

  “I didn’t. I ran into him when I escaped from Carmony’s house.” She’s patting her hair as though she doesn’t have twigs and grass clinging to every part of her.

  “What do mean escaped from Carmony’s house? I thought you were roommates,” Bibidee is glaring at her. “Are you now telling me you were lying?”

  Mercy ignores her, marches over to Hildie’s car and slides into the backseat. “Can you just take me home? I am so tired.”

  I walk over to her and peer in the window. “Are you finally done running?”

  She opens the door and slides over, patting the seat beside her. “I’ve gotta admit, standing still is really scary but running is too exhausting.”

  I slide in and take her hand. “So, are we doing this or what?”

  She nods and puts he head on my shoulder while the Witches snap pics. “Yeah, I guess we are. “

  Bibidee Bea, Boom Hildie and DaniElle climb into the front seat. “Pay day is going to be sweet,” brags Boom Hildie.

  “Pay back will be sweeter,” Bibidee Bea chortles.

  “You know, Oz was kind of the hero today,” DaniElle muses.

  Part of me wants to argue the statement but most of me just doesn’t care. Mercy is here now. She’s fine and she’s through running from me. That’s all that matters.

  Boom Hildie drops us at Mercy’s place. As we’re walking up the sidewalk I have to ask, “Why are you wearing that enormous dress?”

  She smiles. “Are you saying you don’t like it?”

  No way am I falling into that trap. “Nope, I’m not saying that at all. It’s just you never wear dresses and the one you choose is…that.”

  Mercy laughs. “I know, right? This was one of my duds. The one I liked got torn.” She pauses and shakes her head. “It’s actually a long story.”

  I grin at her. “Well, we have nothing but time.”

  When we enter her house she looks around. “I forgot all about the cats. I need to get them.”

  “I checked on them earlier. They’re fine. We can pick them up in the morning.” She looks like she wants to argue but in the end relents.

  I take a seat on her couch. It feels awkward for some reason which is strange because this is Mercy. I’ve seen her at her best, her worst and everything in between. I mean, we’re just taking this relationship up a level. She’s still my best friend.

  Mercy takes a seat on the opposite end of the couch. When I start to laugh she looks at me strangely. It’s just so ridiculous. We’re acting like strangers when we are anything but. I reach over and grab her by all those yards of material and drag her towards me. Of course, Mercy being Mercy, she has to resist. She grips the arm of the couch like she’s holding on for dear life.

  “Mercy, just come over here,” I chuckle.

  “No! Why?” She tries to kick me and I yank off her stupid bedazzled shoe.

  “Because we need to stop acting weird.”

  Mercy lets go of the couch and laughs as I drag her to me. “You’re right, this isn’t weird at all.”

  “For us it’s a normal kind of weird. So that’s okay,” I tell her. It’s true.

  Once she’s beside me I pull her down with me to lie back against the cushions. She’s positioned between me and the back of the couch. I stare at her until she begins to squirm uncomfortably. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do I have something on my face?”

  I smile. She does, actually. There are smudges of dirt on her nose and cheek. Her hair is a mess. She looks perfect. “I missed looking at you. It’s been almost two weeks.” I frown because I’m starting to remember how angry and frustrated I was about her ducking out on me the way she did.

  I think she’s caught on to my mood change because she tells me, “Separation is good sometimes. It gives us time to think and miss each other.”

  Nice try. “You wouldn’t even open your door when I came to see you. You hid out at Carmony’s.” Her eyes widen when I mention that part. “Oh, you didn’t think I’d find out about that?”

  “I hoped you wouldn’t,” she mutters under her breath.

  “Then you should have done a better job covering your tracks. Your mess was still there. Hell, your shoes were still there,” I don’t shout but I want to. “Poor Carmony looked like she’d taken a shot of Mercy complete with glazed eyes and chocolate coated teeth. Oh, and let’s not forget House Hunters International in the background.”

  Mercy leans against me and laughs softly. “Sounds like Carmony fell into the trap she set for me. Some people just aren’t cut out for evil.”

  “Carmony, evil?” I lean back and look at her face. “Did Oz give you some magic dust while you were at his place?”

  “No, but Carmony laced the brownies in case her television programing wasn’t enough to keep me from you,” she informs me. “She was basically holding me against my will.”

  “What the hell? Is there nobody we can trust in this town?” I know my motto is ‘trust no one’ but I honestly thought we had at least a couple of solid dependables in the bunch. No such luck. It’s sad to admit I was right the first time.

  “Well, the Witches and Oz had our backs,” she reminds me.

  “No, they had their own backs. This bet has all our friends acting crazy,” I tell her.

  Mercy yawns and snuggles closer. “At least it’s done now. And we won,” she grins.

  I smile, “Hell yeah we did!”

  “You owe me a date,” she mumbles as she starts to drift off.

  I chuckle, “Oh, no! That ship has sailed. You had me chasing you all over this damn town. I think you are the one that owes me a date.”

  If I thought that would get to her I was so wrong. She smiles, “Even better. This is going to be fun!”

  Damn, I think I may have just overplayed this hand. “Never mind. I got this.” Sometimes retreat is the only answer.

  Chapter Fourteen

  This world loves its labels.

  They call what I do evil, diva, monster, gangster.

  I just call it fun.

  -Dorinda aka The Dragon Lady

  Mercy Mayhem

  A Date with Disaster

  It’s a new day. A new everything. Pinkerton went home to change clothes. I may have drooled on his t-shirt while I was sleeping.

  It’s strange to think of Pink as my someone. I refuse to call him my boyfriend. That just doesn’t feel like the right word for us. He’s my someone. We’ll leave it at that.

  Last night Pink gave me the responsibility of planning our first date. He retracted it but I’m pretty sure he was just joking. Anyway, I’m stoked about it. Originally I thought of dancing and dinner and a moonlight walk on the beach. The thing is though when I tried to picture us doing those things we didn’t resemble ourselves. That just isn’t us.

  So, I’m coming up with a new plan. I’m thinking moonlight, glitter guns, magic and Mayhem. A bet may or may not be inv
olved. I’m still considering. Pink loves the idea of a win so I might just throw him some happy.

  I checked my phone this morning and there were a ton of messages from fellow Zombies. Most of them warning me away from Pink. Carmony and Julia wanting girl time. Probably locked in a basement until the clock ran out on the bet. We really need to have a discussion about sisterhood. On the other hand, it’s good to know I’m not the only one with a strong perhaps even obsessive competitive streak. There was a time Carmony didn’t get it. I think she’s beginning to understand.

  I’ve been thinking about Oz and his crush on Bibidee Bea. I think I will try to help him despite the way he shoved me out the window. It wasn’t exactly a shining moment for me either so I’ve decided to forgive him. I was planning on asking Bea to help me focus my magic. I figure it couldn’t hurt to include Oz in the invite.

  Focus is a necessary skill for a Ninja but magic is only the tip of the iceberg. I’ve also decided to resume physical training. It will be similar to my 5k training but harsher. As much as I hate it, weight training will be included as will swimming. Real swimming not ‘zombie’ swimming. I will improve. After all, it won’t kill me. This I know.

  We have real threats in the Humans, Warlocks and the Dragon Lady. The Witch is probably still recovering from the loss of her leg but sooner or later she will seek retaliation. I’d like to be able to contribute in the battle and not just as a link in a chain. We all need to be prepared.

  One thing I know is that the Dragon Lady will not make the same mistake twice. She’s a survivor. Survivors always find a way to rise better and stronger than before.

  “Everybody else is holding you back.” I’m not sure where that thought comes from but it’s true I decide. As hard as I try to prove to everyone that I’m Ninja strong they just refuse to give me credit. It’s actually really frustrating now that I think about it.

  I go to take a shower then change my mind. I took a 7-hour bath yesterday. I’m plenty clean. If Pink or Oz or anyone else doesn’t like it well it’s none of their business. I bathe when I want and today I don’t want! I’m not sure why I’m getting so bent out of shape about this but apparently I feel strongly about it. Weird.

  I shrug it off and strip out of my dress. I open my closet door and roll my eyes. “Why are all your clothes so dorky? Neon green, highlighter yellow, day-glow pink and blue? You need some serious workout gear,” I think to myself. I reach for my Reading Rainbow t-shirt and immediately throw it on the ground. “I’d rather die than wear that mess,” I growl to myself.

  What is going on? I love that shirt. I reach for the shirt again and end up on my ass. “No you don’t.” But I do. I really, really do! I end up giving in and wearing a black Yoda t-shirt inside out. Why I felt it necessary to do that I don’t know. Confused I am.

  I tried to reverse my neon green shorts but surprise! Still green inside. Inner me was some kind of angry. I’m not gonna lie, she’s kind of a bitch today.

  By the time I leave the house I’m feeling on edge and more than a little anxious. It’s like I have to Mercy’s inside me battling it out and one half is, let’s just say, less brave than the other side.

  The minute I exit I’m running. Usually I can find at least twenty distractions to keep from getting down to business. Too hot, too cold, too windy, too sunny and so on. Today none of that matters. My legs need to stretch and my mind is mad focused.

  I run from one side of town to the other. When Kailani moves in front of me to talk I run right past her without even acknowledging her greeting. “She’s just trying to interfere with your training.” I try to argue but inner me isn’t haven’t it today. I don’t know what’s going on but I’m starting to feel like a passenger in my own body.

  On the one hand I’m a little amazed with myself. I’m running like a race horse. I can hear my breath sawing in and out. There’s a stitch in my side. I’m tired as hell but I can’t seem to stop. I need to keep moving! Wow, I guess I’m serious about my Ninja training this time.

  I’m running past the training facility now. I jump the fence. It’s more than half my body height. I sail over it like it’s nothing. I rock!

  Titus sees me and his eyes widen in shock. “When did you learn to do that, nerd,” he asks with a grin. I zap his ass and jump over his twitching body. Geez, I must be angrier about that bet than I thought. I didn’t even consciously think about doing that to him. One minute he was grinning at me the next ‘BAM!’. Apparently repressed anger can be explosive.

  When I hit the town limits I keep running. I’m racing along the side of the highway now passing up cars two at a time. Apparently not working out for a while helps you build up speed. Part of me is exhausted and wants nothing more than to stop but the other part is cracking that whip and won’t let me even slow. I’m thinking this might be some sort of self-punishment for those 3 days of vegetative television watching at Carmony’s.

  A car blows a tire and heads right for me and I don’t even move. I just wave my hand and send it careening off the highway. It skids to a safe stop on the side of the road. It took everything I had to force the stop. Inner me wanted to flip it into the trees.

  I think I might need some therapy. Maybe Oz is free this afternoon. He helped sort out my messy thoughts about Pink. Maybe he can help with this new Psycho Mercy. I’d go to Pink but we just got this relationship off the ground. No sense in tipping the boat yet. I’d rather not give him a reason to second guess it.

  I make it to the city in record time. I didn’t even know I had this kind of endurance. At this rate I’ll be a top-notch ninja in no time. I thought this would be a drawn out process. I figured it would take two or three months if I worked super hard and gradually increased my workouts. Apparently my inner ninja isn’t interested in gradual progression. She expects immediate results. It turns out I’m ambitious and I never knew it.

  I don’t stop running until I make it to a shopping center. By that time, I’m drenched in sweat and sucking down air like crazy. I want to lie down on the asphalt but inner Mercy, that go-getter, is determined to do some shopping. Awesome.

  When I leave the store I’m loaded down with more than a dozen outfits. All in black or grey. I wear one of the outfits out of the store and dump the outfit I was wearing in the trash. I try to fight inner Mercy for the t-shirt. It’s Yoda! How can I just toss it? But it turns out evil inner Mercy is tougher than I gave her credit for because before I know it I’m running back along the highway leaving Yoda far behind. A part of me is crying internally while the other part is laughing maniacally.

  It’s strange because I’m running with all these packages and I’m not even complaining. I don’t even pause to re-adjust my grip. Today I am no-nonsense when most days I am all-nonsense. What the hell happened? Did I accidentally trigger a hidden Terminator mode? I feel like I could do some serious damage today.

  By the time I make it back to Happyville my leg muscles are screaming. Do I stop? Of course not! I run back across town. I don’t mean jog. I mean flat out run like the hounds of hell are chasing me.

  When I get home I strip down and head to the shower. I didn’t intend to shower today but I’m covered in sweat and, quite frankly, I stink.

  Once I’m dressed in one of my brand new ‘boring’ outfits I stand in front of the mirror and inspect myself. Inner me is not happy. Evil me is mostly pleased except for the hair.

  I lift strands of my hair for her to critique. “This simply will not do.” Apparently evil me is also a snob. With a snap of my (her) fingers my hair changes from a messy blue blunt cut to long, dark and silky smooth. It actually looks really good which is so not me. I want to cover it up and hide it but she won’t let me.

  There’s a knock at my door. I go to answer it but she looks through the peep hole instead. It’s Pinkerton he’s wearing an X-Files t-shirt that reads ‘The Truth Is Out There’. He’s grinning from ear to ear and holding up a huge cup of hot chocolate with tons of toasted marshmallows.

  I go
to unlock the door but I can’t. Evil has me in her grip. I try to call out to him but she silences me. I hate myself today! To make me turn away from Pink is bad enough. To make me turn away from Pink with hot chocolate is beyond ordinary evil. It’s more than any nerd should have to withstand.

  “Mercy, open the door already,” he teases shaking the cup in front of the peep hole. Even she can’t stop the little whimper of pain that escapes me. “I can hear you in there. Open up.”

  His grin slides off his face when I don’t open the door or acknowledge him in any way. “What the hell, Mercy,” he growls in frustration. “I thought you were done running from me!”

  I want to say something so bad my throat physically hurts from holding it in. My arms are trembling from trying to fight against evil Mercy’s hold. I don’t know what this is but it’s not me. I know that and it’s starting to scare me a little.

  “Well, I’m done chasing you. If you want me you know where to find me,” he shouts then kicks the door for good measure. “But I won’t wait forever, Mercy!”

  I hear his heavy footfalls as he walks away. I want to shout at him to come back. I want him to help me get rid of this thing inside me. I want my hot chocolate!

  “Wow, you have really lousy taste in men,” Evil Mercy laughs. “I just did you a huge favor. You’re welcome.”

  If I could find a way to kick my own ass I’d be doing it right now. Evil Mercy needs a take-down badly. I walk over to the couch and lie down. She tries to force me up but has zero luck. I’ve been told I’m stubborn. It turns out it’s true. I’m done dancing to her tune.

  I roll to my side and shove my face against the cushion. Pink’s mango scent is all over it. I take a big whiff and gather strength. Closing my eyes, I try to picture my mind. The mango scent must have helped because without any conscious thought on my part that pink curtain slides down. There’s yanking at the curtain but it doesn’t move.

  I take in another drag of Pink roll to my back. I feel like myself again. I sit up to test the waters. Yep, no urge to do go anywhere. No voice telling me what a mess I am. I walk back into my bedroom and go to stand in front of the mirror. Unfortunately, that hair is still here.