She turned her head and met my gaze. “And you?”
It was difficult not to look away when her attention burned into me so deeply, that I swore she knew when I lied. Knew the secrets I held close. “What about me?”
“Who will save you?”
I smiled and looked away, truly amused for the first time in days. It was too late for me; I’d sealed my fate. “I’ll be fine. Take care of yourself, Princess. Don’t waste your time on me.”
“Being selfish is what starts wars, isn’t it? Worrying about me, and only me.” She threw the twig in frustration. “I’m not worried about me, Mak. I’ve been taking care of myself since I was eight. I’m worried about my aunt. About Bryn. About Helen. About my people. I’m worried about your women and children. I’m worried about…” She glanced at me. “I am worried about you.”
My throat felt tight, my chest warm. She might not care for me like I cared for her, but she liked me, at least. For now. Would she tomorrow? The next day? When she knew the true me? “You shouldn’t.”
“Just because there are imaginary boundaries between kingdoms doesn’t mean we aren’t all connected. What hurts your kingdom, hurts mine. Hurts all. The entire world. I should care. Everyone should.”
I’d spent my life in isolation, placed on a pedestal of first my parents’ making, and then of mine. My uncle, and even my father, had reinforced the idea that we were exceptional so many times, that to think otherwise was absurd. And there could be only one winner. Only one kingdom that was exceptional. Even though I knew Shay was right, that we needed to work together, it was hard to fathom. Even harder to trust.
“If you get hurt,” she whispered, her eyes downcast. “I get hurt.”
Her words hit me hard. It felt as if a troll had landed on my chest, reached between my ribs and squeezed my heart. I could barely get my next words out. “How so?”
She blushed. “Because…”
She paused.
“Because?”
“Trade,” she blurted out.
I hesitated, sure I’d misheard her. “Trade?”
“Yes.” She nodded so hard a lock of hair fell from her braid and covered her left eye. My hand curled as I resisted the urge to tuck it back into place. “You’ll pick sides, we’ll pick sides. Trade will halt.”
My amusement flared. I wanted to kiss her. She was trying so hard not to seem interested in me. But she was. I could see it in her eyes. The way she sucked in her breath when my arm brushed hers. The way her gaze lingered on my lips when I spoke. And I would never, ever forget how she reacted to my kiss. The way her body had melted into mine, as if we were one. Damnation, I was tired of fighting it. I wanted her. Wanted her like I’d never wanted anyone.
“Ah. I see. It’s about trade.”
She shrugged and looked away, feigning interest in the trees around us. “What else would it be about?”
What else indeed? I could tell her the truth. I could explain that from the moment I’d first seen her, something had come to life within me. I no longer felt lost, alone. I could tell her the truth, but would it be selfish of me?
“Being selfish is what my uncle and his followers do best.” I picked up a stick and tossed it into the fire. The flames curled around the offering, hissing and sputtering their thanks. “You know, I used to think Acadian people were weak. That’s what I was taught. To care, to help others at the cost of your own comfort, was stupid, naïve. It would get you killed.”
“Maybe my people are naïve,” she said. “Maybe they are too kind. Maybe they should’ve put their foot down with your uncle long ago, and this never would have happened.”
“Maybe. Or he would have used anything as an excuse to go to war. Fact is, it didn’t matter what your people did, how they reacted. Men like my uncle will always find a way to fight. To kill. They get their power from fear, from anger, and most especially from controlling others.”
She reached out and wrapped her fingers around mine, making me stiffen in surprise. I should have pulled away. I didn’t. Instead, I tightened my hold. In that moment, it was only the two of us, bonded together. We’d been through so much. And there was still so much to go through. A powerful wave of protectiveness washed over me and I knew I would do anything to see her safe. Anything.
“You know the first thing my uncle did, right after my father’s funeral? He had a parade.” I released a harsh laugh. “We were going through a war, supplies were limited. People were hungry, ill because of a lack of fairy dust, and he had a parade. The troops marched through town, ending at a large statue he’d had erected of himself. While his people suffered, he spent coins on a blasted parade.”
“It’s so easy to turn people, isn’t it?” she said. “Use hatred, blame, and especially fear. Support their deepest, darkest fears and they will readily fall in line.”
“Only when people are unhappy, insecure, afraid. And my people have always been unhappy, unsure. Acadia is content. There is little a person can use to turn them.”
Her thumb rubbed against my knuckles. “But they turned on me, didn’t they?”
I hesitated. “They’ll learn to love you.”
“Will they?”
Hadn’t I? Is that what the inexplicable tightness in my chest was about? This constant desire to be near her? To touch her. To hear her voice. Smell her scent. Hell and damnation, was I in love with her?
Helen started toward us, startling me from my thoughts. I tugged my hand from Shay’s before the maid noticed. They could not know that we held affection for each other. At least not here while we were outnumbered. My father’s voice rang through my mind, a long, lost memory.
“Affection equals weakness. Fall in love, you give your enemy a pawn to be used against you.”
But my feelings for Shay, whatever they might be, didn’t feel weak. They made me feel strong, as if I could and would do anything to protect her. It was disturbing, to say the least.
Helen settled next to Shay, handing over two plates of stew.
“I thought you’d died. We all did.” The maid shook her head, her brows drawn together in puzzlement. “Your aunt was…”
Shay couldn’t hide the guilt she felt. She handed me a plate. I kept my gaze down, focused on my food, while I kept my attention focused on them. Would the maid recognize me? My hair was longer, my face smudged with dirt, my clothing wrinkled and grimy. I sure as hell didn’t look like a prince.
“We were gone longer than expected.”
“Yes.” She frowned as she leaned closer. “Where have you been?”
“With Queen Iduna. In her land.” She pushed aside the meat in her stew and scooped up the potatoes and carrots. “When we returned, we had no idea how much time had gone by.”
“By the gods, that explains your dress,” Helen whispered. “I’ve heard of people entering the kingdom, but never actually known anyone who returned.”
Shay took another bite of only vegetables. Her hands were shaking she was so hungry, yet she somehow managed to control herself. Why wasn’t she eating the meat? Nymph magic, of course. Hell, she’d become a part of them, and they didn’t eat meat. They wouldn’t dare eat an animal. She didn’t even realize.
“Yeah, lucky us.”
Helen leaned closer, the gleam of interest in her eyes. “What was it like?”
“Beautiful. Peaceful. No worries.”
“Unrealistic,” I added, although they didn’t seem to notice my comment. Shay was right, it had been peaceful. Everything had felt so cold, so angry, so wrong, when we’d returned.
Helen sighed. “Sounds lovely. I’m starting to think you shouldn’t have come back.”
You and me both.
Shay set her plate on the ground. The meat remained uneaten in a pile. “Helen, tell us what’s happening?”
“They’ve taken the Western borders. They’ve gotten help from the Olden. Prince Makaiden is, was, engaged to their daughter, so it was expected.”
A million thoughts raced through my mind at o
nce. Helen didn’t recognize me. If she didn’t, no one here would. I was safe…for now. But how safe would we be when we reached the front lines? Was Acadia still holding its own, or had they already been defeated?
Shay didn’t glance my way but I could feel her interest keenly, her body stiff at my side. “Was engaged?”
I didn’t dare look at her.
From the corner of my eye I could see Helen shrug. “After Prince Makaiden disappeared, and probably died, the contract was broken. She’s married into the Wiltshire. Which brings another kingdom into the fray. The three most powerful kingdoms united.”
I should have been worried about the battle, yet all I could think about was the fact that I was no longer engaged. The realization hit me hard. It was as if a weight had been lifted. I could finally breathe. I was free. Unwillingly my gaze went to Shay, but she was focused on Helen.
“And do we have any allies?”
She nodded. “The Moher. They’re a fierce shipping Kingdom to the east.”
“But small,” I added.
Helen stiffened, as if offended. “Perhaps small, but fierce.”
I ignored her outburst of patriotism. There was no time for blind loyalty. This was a time for truth and tactics, for realism. That left the Bergen and the Helsingor. They obviously hadn’t taken sides, but they would have to eventually.
“And any news from the castle?” Shay asked.
Helen shook her head. “Your aunt let me go when you disappeared.”
“What?” Shay demanded. “Why?”
She shrugged, looking uneasy and a bit disillusioned. “There was no need for me. And perhaps I reminded her of you. She was quite distraught when you disappeared. So, I’ve been traveling, sneaking between villages, carrying supplies back and forth.”
Shay smiled. “Look at you, Helen, all Captain Marvel. I’m proud of you.”
“I don’t know this Captain.” Helen blushed. “But I’m just taking food to people in need. It’s easy to overlook a young woman amongst a battle.”
She was wrong. She’d stand out more than anyone. And if she was caught, my army would kill her, innocent young woman or not. First, though, they’d torture her for information. Not that I would ruin their little reunion and tell them the truth.
“And…Brynjar?”
I couldn’t deny the stab of jealousy that shot through me. She might be attracted to me, but did she love the soldier? Slowly, I took another bite, barely tasting the food as I awaited Helen’s answer, unsure what I hoped she’d say.
“He’s at the main camp, my lady, but last I heard, safe.”
Shay breathed an audible sigh of relief. I swallowed my annoyance. She obviously cared for Brynjar. Could she ever care for me as much? A man who had caused her people so much pain? A man who didn’t know compassion or selflessness if it hit him in the face?
“I’m not going to lie, my lady,” Helen whispered. “It’s not good.”
Shay bit her lower lip.
“But now that you’re here, maybe things will change.” Helen stood, smiling. “We have hope again. You finish your meal. Regain your strength. I’m going to talk to them about getting you to the castle.”
We watched her walk away, not missing the happy bounce in her step. They still believed Shay was their savior, and by the hopeless look in her eyes, Shay didn’t like it.
“Do you believe in legends?” she asked softly.
I knew what she asked: did I believe she would truly save her Kingdom? The legend said the princess would save her land. But she wasn’t the princess. I also knew what she needed to hear. “Yes. I do. And I believe you will save your people.”
Helen paused next to the group and began to speak excitedly. She might have faith in Shay, but it was obvious by their frowns the rest didn’t. Shay saw it all. I noticed the moment her shoulders slumped, her eyes grew guarded.
“I’m sorry about your fiancé,” she said.
“I’m not.”
Startled, she looked at me. “You aren’t upset?”
“Shay, I was never going to marry her. Not now, after everything that’s happened.”
Shay nibbled on her lower lip again, as she tore her gaze from mine. What was she thinking? We were silent for a moment, each of us lost in our thoughts.
“What will happen if we lose?”
I took another bite. “Your kingdom will be absorbed into Cashel’s.”
She looked around the camp. “And my people?”
“They will be given the choice to join, or die.”
She swallowed hard. “And my family? My aunt? Brynjar?”
“Eat,” I demanded, and waited until she picked up her fork. Did she think of Brynjar as family? I would not deny her the truth. She needed to understand what was at stake. “Royal lines are always exterminated so that there is no chance of an uprising.”
She didn’t respond. We both knew that from what Helen had told us, and how far my people had advanced, my uncle would win. We both knew that when he won, Shay would be killed, along with her aunt, Brynjar, everyone she loved.
Shay stood. “I need to wash my hands.”
“Shay…”
She scurried through the trees but not before I noticed the complete look of despair on her face. The dog jumped to her feet and obediently followed. My father and uncle would die before committing treason, or before taking sides with Acadia. I knew what I should do, what I was raised to do. Lead my people. Save my people.
Slowly, I stood. So why, then, was I going to throw all of my training away, destroy my own future? Destroy my chance at ruling?
Because it was the right thing to do. And for her. Of course. I would do it for her.
Drawn to Shay, I moved into the trees. She knelt near the creek, splashing water upon her face. The dog sat beside her. I smiled. She belonged here, in the trees, near water and nature. Sensing me, she stood and glanced over her shoulder. Water trailed down her features, made the loose strands of hair at her temples curl. She looked pure and strong and beautiful. I paused when I was a breath away. She turned to face me fully.
“Mak, I can’t sense any animals,” she whispered. “I mean, other than Daisy.”
“Daisy?”
“The dog.”
She’d named the dog. I nodded. “Probably because they’ve fled. They will not remain, and watch humans destroy each other.”
“I don’t blame them,” she whispered.
With trembling hands, I cupped the sides of her face. “Get me to the main camp. To Brynjar.”
Her brows furrowed. “Why?”
I didn’t respond, merely leaned down and brushed my lips against hers. It was a sweet, lingering kiss. I savored the taste of her mouth, the softness of her lips. Memorized every detail, knowing it could be the last. And the moment I pressed my mouth to hers, she sank willingly into me. It was something, wasn’t it? She wouldn’t react so if she didn’t care.
Finally, I pulled away, resting my chin atop her head. “Must you question everything?”
She gripped my wrists and pulled my hands from her face, stepping back and putting distance between us. Her cheeks were flushed, her gaze wary. “Mak, be serious.”
The forest was quiet. It was as if even the trees listened. Perhaps they did. I glanced back. The group of villagers were barely visible through the forest. “I know how to save you. I know how to save your kingdom.”
She hesitated, her gaze searching my face for the truth. She was suspicious. I didn’t blame her. “Would you do that at the expense of your own people?”
I smiled, I couldn’t help myself. “Believe it, Princess.”
A last lingering ray of sunlight pierced the leaves, kissing her face, making her glow. Ethereal. Not of this world. She might have been blessed by Iduna, but she’d been born of magic.
“Mak, you know what you’re giving up? Don’t be insane.”
She was worried about me again. When was the last time anyone had truly worried about me? Yet, she did over and over, ev
en though I didn’t deserve it. “I know what I’m giving up. I understand.”
Those brilliant blue eyes narrowed. She crossed her arms over her chest. “And you would harm your own people, you would give up your throne for Acadia?”
“No, Shay. For you.”
Her eyes went wide, luminous. The feelings I had for her could not be explained. Feral. Dangerous. Soft. Compassionate. Everything all at once. But one thing was clear: I knew, without doubt, I would wither, die, if I wasn’t close to her. I had no choice but to take her side.
“Trust me, Shay,” I whispered.
Begged.
“Are you ready, Princess?” Helen suddenly appeared. “We’ve gathered our strongest to escort you to the castle.”
For one long moment we didn’t speak, merely stared hard at each other. Despite abandoning my kingdom, I wasn’t naïve enough to believe her people would readily accept me. We both had a fight ahead of us. I could only hope that in the end, she would trust me.
Finally, Shay tore her gaze from me and focused on Helen. “There’s been a change in plans. We aren’t going to the castle, we’re going to the battle.”
****
It took two days to make it to the camp. Two days over rocky, mountainous terrain that left the five villagers who had escorted us, limping and weak. Really, Shay and I could have made it in one day on our own. But they felt honored-bound to come along, and who was I to destroy their dreams?
At least that’s what they claimed.
I had a feeling their desire to stay with us had more to do with suspicion than honor. Many of her people hadn’t trusted her when she’d first arrived from Earth Realm. Her year-long disappearance with Queen Iduna hadn’t helped ease their wariness.
We traveled through five villages on the way to the battle lines, Shay’s new dog following obediently beside her horse. Four of the five towns were burnt to rock and ash. There were no survivors that we could find. The only town still standing was empty, the people probably having fled to the Acadian castle to beg for safety long before my uncle could torture and kill them.
It was difficult to look at the remains of these once thriving villages, harder to see the unmarked graves and burning piles of bodies. It was near to impossible to meet Shay’s gaze when we went through one of the towns my uncle had destroyed. He had murdered these innocent villagers not because he cared about getting justice for me, but because he could kill them.
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