He craved death and violence and power like some craved ale. My supposed demise had merely been the excuse he’d needed. I’d been fighting a losing battle in believing I could ever beat him. He had reach and influence far beyond our kingdom and across the seas, long before I could walk. Perhaps someday I’d win them back, but not now.
The closer we got to the battle, the louder the sounds of war that trickled through the forest where we rode. Shay stared pale and wide-eyed into the distance, her hands clenched tightly around her reins. Her lack of experience was telling. Every clash of sword, every shout that reached us, every cry of pain, made her flinch. And damnation, if I didn’t want to protect her, comfort her, when I had no right.
I couldn’t ride into the enemy camp looking the besotted fool. They’d tear me to pieces. I steeled my back, straightened my shoulders and stared straight ahead. Still, I couldn’t deny that once I’d admitted my feelings for Shay, an odd peace had settled over me. It felt right, so right.
The sounds were vague at first, like a dream or a foggy memory. But with each step nearer to the front lines, the sharper the noises became. The scents of metal, blood, fire, pierced my nostrils. A familiar scent. We were wrapped in a gray fog of death and destruction and misery.
I’d been in many a battles, and it hadn’t bothered me. But those had been small skirmishes. This…this would be war. And I had chosen the side of the enemy.
I closed my eyes, trying to make sense of the last eighteen years of my life. No, not eighteen, nineteen now. Fact was, I’d never been allowed to be myself at home. I was constantly putting on a play, first trying to please my father, then my people. But out here, with her, I could only be me. It terrified and thrilled me at the same time, to be so open, so vulnerable.
And so, I knew what had to be done.
I’d made peace with my decision. At least in my mind I’d accepted the fact that I would give up my kingdom for her, because it was right. So damn right. She was right. When I was with her, life seemed possible, hopeful, when it hadn’t in years. I no longer felt alone and adrift in this world.
When I was with Shay, life had meaning.
The woods ended and we rode into a field of golden wheat. Ahead, we could see the tents of blue and white fluttering in the breeze. My heart stuttered, my body growing cold. If they didn’t accept me, if they didn’t believe me, I would have thrown away my kingdom for nothing. I took in a deep breath, then released it slowly. Nothing to be done about it now.
“Soon, my lady,” one of the soldiers we’d picked up along the way called out. “Just up the hill. They’ll be awaiting your arrival.”
From the corner of my eye, I could see Shay shift on her mount. No doubt she was nervous, excited, and eager to see her people, to learn of the war. Or was she excited for an entirely different reason? Because of a tall, brawny soldier with blue eyes?
We’d gone through three check points and with each stop, we gathered more soldiers, so that by the time we made it to the main camp, Shay and I were surrounded by her men. To protect us from the enemy, perhaps. To protect them from us, most likely. I wasn’t stupid enough to think that these many soldiers who followed did so because they were honor-bound. Truth was, they were as wary of us as I was of them.
A line of men waited for us at the crest of a hill where tents fluttered on the breeze. Sunlight bounced off armor, almost blinding. I narrowed my eyes against the glare. I’d heard that on Earth people did not plan wars, did not agree to meet in certain spots, but surprised their enemy. It had seemed dishonorable at first. Now, as I noted each soldier so blatantly obvious in their heavy, brilliant armor, it seemed preposterous to fight any other way than with a surprise attack.
“Stand down and state your business!” someone yelled, his voice echoing over the hills and briefly interrupting the sounds of war in the distance.
My hands tightened on my reins as I pulled my mount to a stop. I had to bite my tongue and let Shay take the lead, I was so used to being in charge. This was not my kingdom. And after today, I would have no home. Would I still have her?
“I am Rallora Rybengotten,” she called out in a clear and strong voice. “The princess of Acadia.”
A murmur of confusion swept the crowd.
The corners of my mouth twitched. How much she had changed since she’d first arrived in this realm. She settled her horse like an expert, her stature regal. It was hard even now to remember she was not the true princess.
“I wish to speak to Brynjar Meade.”
The line of soldiers parted and Brynjar stepped forward. Damnation, if he didn’t look larger, even more manly since the year ago we’d last seen him. My hatred for the man had not diminished. That hatred, combined with the acute jealousy I felt, was indeed a lethal combination.
“Is it really you?” he asked, his voice tight with emotion, his gaze pinned to Shay. Only Shay. It was as if no one else existed.
In the hushed silence, the admiration in his eyes was obvious, an emotion mirrored in Shay’s gaze. Jaw clenched, I looked away. The burning envy in my chest made it hard to breathe. After everything I was about to do, everything I was going to give up, I knew that in the end she might still choose him.
And even as the fury pounded through my veins, I knew it didn’t matter if she rejected me.
I would do it anyway.
I dared to focus on her once more. She smiled at Brynjar, her eyes lighting up with a happiness I’d only ever seen when she’d been in Queen Iduna’s land. There, she’d been at ease. There, I had known the real Shay, the one not bogged down by a past & future not of her own making. But I barely remembered those moments in Queen Iduna’s land. Barely remembered those smiles, that feeling of pure bliss. It was all fading so quickly.
“It’s me,” she whispered, just for his ears. A moment between the two of them that made me feel as if I should turn away, give them privacy. Hell, if I would give up so easily.
Brynjar dropped to his knees, head bowed. The soldiers quickly followed, kneeling as one. The clank of their armor was the only sound in the camp. It was as if the war had momentarily ceased in her honor. A soft breeze whispered around her, stirring her loose hair. She paused only a moment to gather her emotions, then she slid from her mount.
Brynjar stood, his hands curled at his sides, as if he held back from touching her. But he wanted to. Hell, he wanted to. “We thought you dead.”
“No, we are obviously not dead. We were just,” she finally glanced at me, “…lost.”
“A year,” General Gunvaldsson grumbled as he pushed his way to the forefront. “You were gone a year.”
He seemed more angry than relieved.
Shay flushed. “I know. And I can explain.”
Brynjar moved closer to Shay. Something within me lifted its ugly head. I wanted him away, gone for good. I wanted to take the sword at my side and shove it through his gut. I slid from my mount. My wound throbbed, the world spun. Hell, I could fight no one until I found some fairy balm.
Shay glanced at me, as if sensing my pain.
Yes, my lady, still here.
Brynjar stopped so close to her, he blocked my view. “You’re well? Where were you?”
I shifted around the soldier just in time to see her nod and gently touch his forearm in a way that made my gut clench. “Yes. I’m well. We were with Queen Iduna.”
There was an audible gasp from the crowd. Although Shay still didn’t understand the importance, I did. They watched her with a knew sort of curiosity. Yes, they were still wary, but there was also a sense of awe on their roughened faces. With that one statement, she’d managed to gain their respect, if not their trust.
She glanced back at the villagers and soldiers. “These lovely people escorted me here. If you could get them some food, a place to rest?”
General Gunvaldsson gave a curt nod, and a soldier rushed up to escort the small, exhausted group toward rest and nourishment. Shay waited until the last man had disappeared, until the soldiers had b
een dismissed by the general so that it was only the four of us.
“I need to know everything,” she demanded.
“Not in front of him,” Brynjar snapped.
He’d been staring at me since Shay mentioned Queen Iduna, as if he knew I was at fault. In his gaze was condemnation. I’d lied about the fairy dust, and he knew I was the reason Shay had been missing the last year. Did I regret it? No. She was safe there. At least for a year. That year had kept her alive. Who knew what would have happened, had we been here. Hell, maybe Shay was right; maybe Iduna had kept us there on purpose.
“Come,” the general snapped. “I shall fill you in. Brynjar…”
Brynjar’s gaze was still pinned to me. So that’s how it would be. While the general kept Shay occupied, Brynjar would torture me for information, and he’d enjoy it. The smug look in his eyes made that obvious.
“You will not touch a hair on his head,” Shay snapped, surprising us all. Although it shouldn’t. She was much more astute than anyone gave her credit. At the general’s disgruntled look, I almost laughed.
Brynjar gave a curt, albeit reluctant nod, and as she left, his hungry gaze followed her until she disappeared into a tent. A year had not diminished his affections. I could practically taste his need, and it tasted bitter and disgustingly sweet all at once. Sickening. Familiar. The same feelings I had toward her.
“Well?” I snapped. “Shall we get this over with?”
Without comment, he started toward a blue tent. For the first time since meeting, I was eager to follow him. I needed news. But most of all, I needed the truth. I might not like him, but I knew he would not lie. He was too damn honorable.
“Sit,” he snapped the moment I entered the tent.
I settled in one of two chairs available. It was a supply tent, full of crates. “What’s happened?”
“What’s happened?” He crossed his arms over his chest and glared down at me. “Your people have proven once again how greedy and hateful they are. Although our princess was missing as well, they still blamed us. They had the perfect excuse to attack.”
I didn’t argue.
His eyes narrowed. “For some reason she protects you, when you’ve done nothing but lie, put her in harm’s way. How did you end up with Queen Iduna, and how did you escape?”
I pressed my lips firmly together, resisting the urge to defend myself. He was right, I had put her in harm’s way. More than once. But he was wrong; she didn’t trust me. Not anymore. She might claim so, but she didn’t truly. If she wanted to win this war, she would have to set aside her wariness and believe in me. “We spent a year together. It sort of forces one to connect. As for Queen Iduna, that was luck.”
“I don’t believe you.” His jaw clenched. I could tell he wanted to hit me. “You lied about the fairy dust, didn’t you?”
I quirked a brow. “Wouldn’t you?”
“Yes.”
He spun around and paced the large tent. My honesty surprised him. Threw him off balance. But I wasn’t the only source of his unease. They were losing. I could tell by the dark circles under his eyes, the weariness of his features. They were losing, and only I could help.
He paused, his hands on his hips. “We executed the three men who cut the bridge ropes.”
“Good to know.”
“However, they would not tell us who was behind the treason.”
In other words, the traitors were still out there, and they wouldn’t be happy to know Shay had returned. The urge to go to her overwhelmed me. Damn it all, she needed to have guards at all times.
“What is your uncle’s plan?” he asked, drawing my attention to him. “Surely you know.”
“Actually, I don’t. His plan was always to kill me off. At the least, he hoped to turn our people against me, so he could take over for good.” I shrugged and stretched out my legs, crossing them at the ankles. “So, I was rather preoccupied with trying not to die.”
“Well, now your people think of you as a hero.”
He said it as if that had been my plan all along.
“Wonderful.” The thought made me ill. By the gods, I didn’t want to be a martyr. “Just what I always wanted: to be a dead hero.”
He stared hard at me, trying to read my intentions. “If you suddenly reappear, they may assume you are a traitor.”
“I know. Which is why I’m here. I have nowhere else to go.”
It was a lie. I had a feeling he knew that. I was here because of her.
Shay.
I was here because I couldn’t leave her. Couldn’t imagine being without her. Couldn’t imagine my life returning to grayness, to pain, to hopelessness. I wanted more of her, all of her. But I knew I couldn’t have her completely, and so I would be content with whatever she would give me.
There was a hard challenge in his gaze. “You’re saying you’re giving up your kingdom, and you’re asking us for protection?”
I laughed, it sounded so absurd when he said it. Yet, he was correct. “Something like that.”
He sighed and reached into a crate, pulling out a flask. He wasn’t sure what to do with me. But he knew I’d kept the princess safe all this time. He could not dismiss that. How he would laugh if he realized that more than once, she had saved my life. No one knew about her powers but me. A secret between the two of us. Would she admit the truth?
“Tell me how it started,” I demanded.
He handed me the flask. “There was no warning. Our most northern town was attacked. All but one man killed. That one remaining man raced to the next town with a message: your uncle was declaring war to avenge your death.”
“And he has called upon his allies, who were probably already waiting. Ready.” I took a long drink. The mead burned down my throat. “I am engaged, or was before my untimely death, to the daughter across the ocean. They will come from the sea.”
He nodded. “They already have. By the by, your uncle remarried. His wife is expecting.”
I wasn’t surprised, but it was still startling to realize how long we’d been gone. I’d assumed he would eventually remarry. I only felt sorry for the woman forced to bind her life to him. And I had no doubt she’d been forced. “He is producing the next line of royalty. If he has a healthy line of succession, it will be more difficult for me to claim my throne.”
“He will not be happy to hear you’re back.”
A year older. I hadn’t thought about it, but I was one year closer to becoming king. Unless he declared me a traitor. Did I even care anymore? I looked out the tent flap. There, beyond the hills, my people, waited, fought, died. All in my honor. The very men I’d trained. The very men who had considered me their leader. What would they think of me now? What lies would my uncle spew?
A cheer erupted from the men outside.
“And my sister?”
“She still lives, from what I’ve heard.”
The relief I felt was immediate, but the guilt would never cease…until she was safe. “You will be outnumbered. You will need to call on the natural kingdoms for help if you want to win.”
“Impossible. They never interfere in human battles.”
Perhaps not, but if Shay used her new abilities, perhaps.
“Besides, we have the princess, and the fates say that she will save us.”
I sighed, and rubbed my brow. Was that why they had cheered only moments ago? They still held onto the belief that Shay would save them all? Idiots. Not only were they clinging to a myth, but they would put Shay in danger.
Brynjar smiled. I’d never seen him smile. “All will be well now. Things will change. The fates—”
“She’s not the princess.”
He blinked. It was his only reaction. “Pardon?”
I took another drink, welcoming the burn. “You got the wrong baby.”
Brynjar didn’t speak. Instead, he turned his back to me, but not before I saw his hooded gaze. A sudden tingle of suspicion washed over me. I surged to my feet. “You knew.”
He pace
d the tent once more. “No, I didn’t know. Fact is, we had no idea if she was the correct child. She was so strong, so sure, that I hoped. But I realized there was always the chance she wasn’t.”
I sank back into my chair. The truth crackled before us, heated and intense. We were silent. He would go on with the lie for her benefit. As would I. We would both do what we could to protect her. “You said the oracle stone told you she was the one.”
“Not exactly.”
I quirked a brow.
He sighed. “It merely pointed to her.”
“But she’s not the princess.”
“It didn’t say.” He rubbed his hands over his face. “Does she know?”
I shook my head. “No.”
He sighed and raked his hands over his face. “Bleeding wonderful. We can’t send her into battle.”
I stiffened. “Of course not. By the gods, was that even an option?”
Brynjar shrugged. “The fates—”
“Damn the fates!” I snapped, surging to my feet. “Whether she is the true princess or not shouldn’t matter. You know as well as I that nothing is written in stone.”
His eyes narrowed. “We’re on the same side, are we not?”
We regarded each other with crackling unease. I knew what he truly asked: were we both on Shay’s side? So, he hadn’t married then. He’d been pining, waiting for Shay to return, believing that when she did, he might still have a chance. “Yes. We are on the same side.”
The hatred that flared between us was bitter and palpable. We despised each other, but we also needed each other to help protect the one person we both cared for. The one person we both wanted.
“Then for now,” Brynjar held out his hand, “we will have a peace pact.”
“For now,” I muttered, gripping his hand.
For now, at least. For her.
I pulled my hand away. “If we are going to work together than you agree that no matter what, we can’t let her go into battle.”
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