Shadows of Our Sins: (Shadow Purgers Series, Book 1)

by N. Phillips

  “I’m sorry.”

  She put away the plate she had been cleaning and approached me. “Aliyah, I expect this rebellious attitude from you, but I never thought you would worry me the way you have lately. It hasn’t even been two weeks since you’ve been home, and you’ve already gotten yourself into insane, problematic situations. You’re setting a bad example for Mya.”

  A bad example for Mya? Yeah, right.

  “You can’t be serious. You and Dad treat her like a golden child. She’s flawless to you two, and nothing I do will change how she is. And the only problematic issue here is the fact that bullying still exists, Mom. I tried to stop the guy who killed my friends, okay? I wanted to do the right thing. I should’ve come home, you’re right, but it wasn’t my fault that I was at the wrong place at the wrong time and someone needed help. Noel would’ve done the same thing.”

  My mother’s brow twitched at the sound of my brother’s name. Her forehead wrinkled in anger, and her hand raised to point her finger at me in a scolding manner.

  “Don’t you dare use your brother’s name to defend yourself. Since you think you’re so grown, put yourself in my shoes for a second. Try being a mother who already lost one child and is worried sick about losing another.”

  Our eyes began to well up as the argument continued. Neither of us wanted to back down, but we both knew the conversation needed to end before someone got hurt.

  “Mom, I’m sorry. I don’t want to worry you. There’s just a lot happening right now that you can’t be involved in.”

  “Like what, Aliyah? You need to stop whatever you’re doing and start reevaluating the people you spend your time with. Focus on school and graduating. You’re already a few credits behind what every senior should have at the start of the year. You need to prioritize your—”

  “Prioritize what, Mom? My life? I don’t know what I want my life to be like to even try prioritizing it. Before Noel died, all I ever wanted to do was hang out with my friends and help people however I could, because that’s what I like to do; be a normal teenager and try making others feel happy. Why should I be reprimanded for that?”

  The sound of the doorbell interrupted our debate. My mother walked past me without saying another word before stopping midway up the stairs.

  “Make sure you’re on your way home the second the funeral is over. That’s all I have to say.”

  After she walked up the stairs, I went over to the living room window and peeked outside to see Lucas standing at the front door wearing a black suit. A small smile tried to muster its way onto my face, but the thought of Robyn bearing his child wouldn’t allow it.

  I opened the door and was greeted by his blue eyes that were filled with remorse.

  “Aliyah, you look beautiful.”

  “You look nice too,” I complimented back before looking away from him. “Yeah, so, let’s go.”

  We walked toward his car, where he opened the door for me. “You don’t have to do that,” I grumbled before sitting.

  “Sorry, Ali.”

  I didn’t want to give him a hard time, but I also didn’t want to make it easy for him either. He was not in my good graces, and I wasn’t sure why I was giving him another chance at a friendship.

  He closed the passenger door and walked around the front of the vehicle to get in the driver’s seat. Being in his car was not the same. The feelings of joy, excitement, and comfort were replaced with an empty sadness and a disturbing thought that shot to the forefront of my mind and wouldn’t go away until I voiced it.

  “How many times?” I asked, certain that the mascara underneath my eyes had been smudged from the tears running down my cheeks. “Tell me the truth.”

  “Ali, what do you mean? Why are you crying?”

  “How many times has she been in this car with you sitting exactly where I am? How many times did you two have sex right here in this fucking car?”

  He grabbed my hand, but I pulled my arm away. “Listen, I swear to you that I’ve never had sex with her,” he claimed. “I put that on my mother’s grave.”

  “Then what the hell?” I shouted, slamming my fist on the armrest. “How is she pregnant? Tell me the truth. How can you sit there and deny you had sex with her but not deny the child she claims to be having with you? When I first questioned you about her, you protected her so much. Now that the truth is out, suddenly, something’s not right? You can’t be serious.”

  “I didn’t want this to blow up like it has, I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but I was afraid you wouldn’t believe me and I wanted to figure everything out myself.”

  My nostrils were flaring at this point. “You know what? Start from the beginning. There’s still time until the funeral. I want to know everything.”

  He took a deep breath as I sat attentively, my eyes not leaving his. Our friendship, relationship, or whatever the hell it was at this time, was all on the line with this one confession.

  “Alright, I’m gonna give it to you straight. Robyn and I dated a couple years ago.”

  Oh, what a surprise. I should’ve fucking known.

  “Wow, so you two have history. Unbelievable. How could you lie and keep this from me for so long?”

  “I already told you, babe. I didn’t know how to come out and say all this. But you have to believe me when I say that I did not keep in touch with her at all. She showed up at the school a few days after what happened on the roof with you and Valeria. It was the first time I saw her in almost two, maybe three years.”

  Ugh. He can be such an idiot sometimes.

  “Seriously? And you didn’t find that weird at all? That she just randomly showed up at the exact time I was out of the picture? What, did you two rekindle some old flame or something while I was in the hospital?”

  “No. We had a casual conversation that led to me telling her about the band auditioning for a co-singer. She reminded me of her vocal talent, and I simply gave her directions to where we were holding the auditions. She showed up a day later, killed it, and joined the band soon after. Bruce and Jerome liked her a lot, so she started hanging around us more.”

  I didn’t buy it. Everything sounded too convenient for Robyn, and now knowing that the two of them used to date, my suspicions were only raised.

  “Why did you think it was okay to have your ex-girlfriend join your band?” I questioned with a glare. “And you mean to tell me she showed no signs of liking you? At all?”

  He slouched back in his seat and looked out the front window of the car. “Yeah, there were times where it seemed like she was flirting, but I promise you nothing happened. Most of the time it was her and Tyler taking shots at each other, like he hated her or something. If we’re being honest, I think the guy dislikes ninety-nine percent of the world’s population.”

  He laughed, but I was in no mood to share his humor. He finally got the hint after turning his head and seeing the angry look on my face.

  He cleared his throat before speaking. “So, after about two or three weeks, she confessed that she was still in love with me and kissed me out of nowhere. I pushed her back because I didn’t feel the same way at all, and I even told her about you. Honestly, the whole thing reminded me of why I broke up with her in the first place.”

  “And why’s that?”

  “Because she’s crazy,” he flat-out answered. “I thought she changed, but she was just waiting for an opportunity to come on to me and try having a baby again.”

  My brows creased and my lips pursed. “Whoa, rewind that please. What do you mean, ‘having a baby again’?”

  “By that I mean she’s obsessed with wanting a child. I was fifteen when I dated Robyn. Way too young to have a child. But that’s all she wanted, Ali. To the point where she threatened and stalked me after I dumped her. It’s the reason why I transferred from Navelwood High to Ravenvale High, and I was blessed to meet someone as amazing as you are.”

  His complement made me smile, but it quickly vanished at the thought of my next question. “
Is that why you didn’t want to drive me to Navelwood High the morning I volunteered there?”

  He nodded. “Yeah. I didn’t want to bump into her again. She told me recently about her abusive ex-boyfriend that she dated a year after I left the school. Apparently, he left her just before she had a miscarriage. All in all, I know I’m guilty of not pushing her away sooner, but believe me when I say that I have no feelings for her. I love you, Aliyah. I—“

  “No,” I interrupted him, opening the car door. “Lucas, I’m sorry, but all of this just shows me how much of a liar you are and how easy it is for you to keep secrets from me. I’m sorry, but I can’t do this. I—”

  I attempted to get out the vehicle, but he leaned over and wrapped his arms around my waist.

  “Let go of me,” I spat out, trying to force myself out of his clutches. Him preventing me from leaving just made me angrier. “I hate you.”

  “No, you don’t. Please, Ali. Don’t fight me. I need you to help me. I’m trapped.”

  The tension in my body lessened after hearing his plea. “What? What do you mean you’re trapped?”

  “Just listen to me, alright? About a week ago, Robyn told me she was pregnant with my child. I denied it, obviously, because I never touched her in a sexual way. But then she showed me a pregnancy test that confirmed she was pregnant, which was mind-blowing. I told her it still doesn’t mean I’m the father, but afterwards, she… If I didn’t agree to being with her and raising the child, she would say I raped her and bring me to court.”

  Speechless, we looked at one another in apprehension. Frustration masked his facial features as the silence went on.

  “Would she really do that?” I asked, placing my hand on his arm in hopes of comforting him. Just when I was ready to leave him alone, he pulled me back in.

  “I wouldn’t put it past her. And you know what else is insane? It takes about eight or so weeks to take a DNA test, and yet, somehow, the doctor confirmed that Robyn’s child is mine after only three weeks of knowing her again. It’s fucking madness, Ali. I hate all of this.”

  Nothing about the situation made sense. My thoughts wondered in hopes of finding a solution, but they came to a dead end every time.

  “Everything that comes out her mouth is a lie,” he started, “and I need you to trust me and know that I never had sex with her. All she wants is my child. I mean, this could be her desire manifesting, right?”

  “It’s possible,” I replied. “And I’m not sure using my light against her would be any help. She’d probably just want another baby by you instead of changing her psychotic ways. But we can’t be sure until we get some actual information about everything that’s happening. I simply don’t have the answers right now, Lucas. I’m sorry.”

  I wasn’t ready to trust him again, but I could sense his confession was sincere and that he truly loved me. “It’s going to be hard,” I told him. “But I’ll try to believe you.”

  “Thank you, Ali. Everything I said is the truth. I’m in love with you and only you. Never doubt that.”

  I smiled before saying, “I know. Let’s go to the funeral now.”

  “Alright. Together.”

  The cathedral held more people than I had expected, and the despair of those grieving around me was too much to bear. The more I sensed their dejected emotions, the tighter my lungs became.

  Lucas sat next to me with a solemn expression on his face as he listened to Bruce’s mother speak to those in attendance. “I need some air,” I whispered to him.

  “Are you alright?”

  “Yeah, I just really need to get out of here. This is too much for me.”

  “Alright, I’ll come with you.”

  “No. Stay here. I’ll only be a minute.”

  I squeezed my way through the row of mourning friends of Jerome’s and made my way out the church, walking up a block to further distance myself from the overwhelming depression. Leaning my body against an iron fence outside of a park, I looked up at the blue, cloudless sky. The pleasant breeze that passed would have soothed my spirits had it not also whipped up an eerie chill.

  Scanning my surroundings, I spotted nothing but normal pedestrians and cars driving by until my eyes landed on a certain someone crossing the street.

  “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me.”

  Robyn was walking in the direction of the church until I cut her off. “You’re not going in there,” I sneered, now standing toe-to-toe with her. “You’re not gonna disrespect my dead friends like that. You never cared about them, you just wanted to get close to my boyfriend, you slut.”

  “I never cared about them? They told me I was cooler than you,” she snapped back, her words piercing my heart. “Yeah, you heard me right. They actually had fun with me around. I didn’t pretend to be some mother-like figure and stop them from pulling pranks on people. I joined in on the fun, something you weren’t able to do because you were—”

  My sudden gasp put an end to her rebuttal. I covered my mouth with my hand as my eyes grew wider staring at her torso.

  “Your—your stomach. H-how did your stomach grow so much after only a few days?”

  “It doesn’t matter how. This is my child, and Lucas is the father. You’re not going to keep us apart.”

  “You’re lying. That’s not Lucas’s baby, and I won’t let you accuse him anymore.”

  A luster of white aura radiated in my left hand until a chakram was manifested. Robyn smirked at my proposal to fight.

  “Your little hula-hoop is adorable, but I hope you’re not threatening me with it. You really want everyone out here to see you throwing down with a pregnant chick?”

  “If it means saving my boyfriend from a life with you, I sure as hell will.”

  Accepting my challenge, she summoned her scythe in her right hand. “I should’ve killed you in the hospital when Lucas left me in the room alone with you.”

  “Lucas would never bring you to see me. I’m done believing your lies, you bitch. You claim a person can only manifest one desire, but you have that scythe, for whatever reason, and that demon spawn in your stomach. If that baby is real, it should still be around after I do this.”

  I was ready to strike with my weapon when a familiar voice caused me to stop and turn my head.

  “What’s going on here?”

  Lucas approached us with his face crinkled in irritation at Robyn’s presence. When he got closer, his eyes began to widen in disbelief at the size of her belly.

  “No way. Is this a joke?”

  “A joke?” Robyn retorted. “Do you want me to take off my shirt right now?”

  “Please don’t,” I begged. “Desiring Lucas’s child just so he’d be with you is pretty pathetic. You need a life.”

  “No, what’s pathetic is that you can’t accept reality even when it’s right in your face. Well, he did tell me you were the gullible type.”

  “That’s enough. I’m tired of this,” Lucas shouted, pulling me away from Robyn to confront her himself. “Robyn, our friendship, association, or whatever the hell it was called these past few weeks, is over. I don’t care what the results for that test were. The bottom line is that I never had sex with you. The band is done, which means we’re done. I’m doing things solo now, so I don’t ever want to see your face again unless I have to in school. That’s it.”

  I had expected her to yell back in rage, but all I sensed was her sadness increasing the angrier he became.

  “How can you say that after everything we’ve been through?” she questioned him. “You would throw me and our child away for her? Even after all the moments we shared, this is how you treat me?”

  Lucas appeared flabbergasted. “Are you psycho? What moments? From two freakin’ years ago?”

  “Yes. Our memories. You don’t get close to someone and then kick them to the curb when you’re bored. We had moments together that I’m never going to forget. You can stand there and act like our past doesn’t mean anything to you because she’s around, but I know t
he truth. You will be mine, and you will be the father to our child.”

  “Lucas, let’s go,” I said, grabbing his hand. “Robyn, you can dream of having his baby all you want, but he’ll never love you. Stop thinking about it, or you’re gonna end up alone with a child who won’t have a real father.”

  We turned away from her and began walking back to the church until we heard a screech. I looked back to see her kneeling on the ground and holding her stomach.

  “Something’s wrong,” she cried out in pain, gaining the attention of a few people passing by.

  “Lucas, maybe we should—”

  “No,” he said, uncaring. “Leave her be.”

  Mixed emotions circled in the pit of my heart. I was happy that he wanted nothing to do with her, but I couldn’t help but feel concerned about her well-being. The feeling came off as a surprise to me, but what shocked me more was Lucas’s complete disregard for her suffering.

  I had never known him to be so heartless.

  CHAPTER 15

  After the funeral, Lucas and I sat in his car and reminisced about Bruce and Jerome. We shared laugh after laugh, discussing their outrageous antics and moments when all of us would skip school and wander around the city.

  “I feel like I was too hard on them,” I confessed. “They were totally insane, but they were always there for us when we needed them. I should’ve been more loose and carefree.”

  “Don’t worry about it, babe. They loved you.”

  My eyes glanced at the car clock. “I should get home.”

  “Do you really have to?” he asked with puppy dog eyes. “I missed you so much these days, and I got some big news I’ve been wanting to tell you.”

  “What is it?”

  “Okay, remember when I told you Cassandra Blackwood followed me?”

  I sat up in anticipation. “Yeah, did she contact you?”

  “Yup, she did. Guess what? She invited the band to perform tonight at one of New York’s hottest night clubs as her special guest.”

  On instinct, my body launched at him and my arms wrapped around his neck. “Oh my God, that’s so amazing, Lucas. I’m so happy for you. But wait …” my excitement dwindled. “There’s no band anymore.”