Sabina was nervous, and it was cute. In fact, it was more than cute. It was beyond adorable, and I wasn’t the kind of man who often found the random things that women did adorable. I just wasn’t that way inclined.
But watching her shift her clothes, move vases around, rub at the tiniest of smudges on a mirror, before dusting a spot on a dresser that had never seen dust in its lifetime, thanks to all the staff who, over the years, had cleaned it, was sweet.
Especially when she had Knight attached to her.
I knew I loved her. I’d known that from the second I saw her bundled up in Austin’s arms that first blue-moonlit night. Yes, we were fated mates, and that helped things along a lot, but this went deeper than that. That she could accept my wolf when no one else ever had been able to, tore open the nails in the coffin my heart had once existed in. Freed it from shackles that had been opened by her alone. But seeing her with Knight made me love her even more.
The way she talked to him, cooed at him… Perhaps this was what all mothers did, but I’d never seen it before. And the woman and child had never been mine. My blood, tied to me. Knotted into my soul.
I slouched back in my seat, watching her bustle around, chittering at Knight as she did so. He stared up at her like she was his whole world, and every now and then, he’d head butt her breasts as if to remind himself they were his.
Well, they were momentarily.
Mother, I couldn’t wait until she was mine again.
Grunting at the thought, I carried on watching them, even as I began to rock slightly in my seat. I moved at a slow pace, as slow as Sabina was walking around, and when Berry shoved at the door, pushing it open in a way that was beyond magical because it was locked, Sabina shot her a look, firmed her lips, then went back to her chores.
The imaginary list was seemingly endless, and when Berry started following her around too, I figured enough was enough.
“You’re going to wear yourself out,” I told her calmly. My wolf responded to my calmness with an agitated growl, because while I found it amusing and sweet that she was primping for her sister, a sister who was probably ragged and exhausted after dealing with an animal siege, my beast didn’t.
If anything, he sensed her agitation and was throwing it back at me ten-fold. I was used to it, though, used to bearing the brunt of his emotions, so it didn’t affect me like it would Sabina if her she-wolf was feeling antsy.
“I’m not that weak,” she muttered, which had my wolf snarling in disagreement.
Of course, she wasn’t weak. She was the exact opposite of weak, but the wolf wasn’t exactly loaded down with a Merriam-Webster thesaurus. It wasn’t like he had a great vocabulary to pad out his lexicon.
He sensed her fatigue, a fatigue that came from having a newborn, but more than that, he sensed her upset. I could too. She scented of tears.
And I knew why. She’d shed them earlier today because of Knight. They were unintentional, of course, but they were a mother’s frustrated tears that made me want to solve things for her, but equally, how was I supposed to solve a breast milk crisis?
I’d never even known they were a thing.
I pursed my lips at the thought, pursed them harder when she started sniffling, and when that happened, I had no alternative but to get off my ass and to wander over to her.
Slipping my arms around her, I slid them tightly about her waist and under Knight’s body, taking his weight off her back, before I muttered, “You’re too hard on yourself.”
She pushed her face into my chest, and both of us ignored Knight’s grumbling, even though I knew the kid was quite happy with being smushed between us. He was pack, after all. We were used to being jumbled together, and if anything, that was when we were at our most comfortable. It was why, even though I could afford a mattress the size of my bedroom, we stuck with a queen-size bed, because there was no greater sense of comfort than ending the night piled in.
Even if things were a little awkward with Knight now, because we didn’t want to squash him, there was no way in hell I was changing our sleeping arrangements.
I pressed a kiss to her forehead, letting my lips trail down to the high arches of her cheekbones so that I could catch her tears. They tasted salty, but more than that, to me, they were bittersweet.
This woman, this wonderful woman, shed tears because she felt like she wasn’t serving our child well enough.
I’d been annoyed when she became pregnant. I could admit that to myself, and to her if she was listening in—
“I knew,” she grumbled, her face turning into my throat.
“Of course you did,” I said dryly. “You know more than you’d like, don’t you?”
“Yes. And I understood it.”
“I wanted you to myself. To ourselves. I was being selfish.”
She nodded. “I told you I understood, and I do. I love him, I can’t imagine life without him, but it would have been nice to have more time with you on our own. We have a lot of responsibility already. A breather would have been quite pleasant.”
“A breather would have been more than that,” I told her gruffly, kissing her again. “But I’m the same. I can’t imagine life without Knight, and now we don’t have to. He’s here, and you’re running yourself ragged trying to be the best you can be. However, you’re being you. You’re doing you, and that’s exactly what he needs. That is the best you.”
“I hate giving him formula,” she rasped. “Why am I this powerful omega, the one who’s going to change everything, whose frickin’ placenta is powerful enough to make the pack fertile, but I can’t feed Knight?”
I had no answer to that question, but it seemed a pretty hard ask. When she tilted her head back to look up at me though, each individual eyelash formed tiny triangles, pricked with clear tears that were like diamonds.
I sighed at the sight of them, at the earnestness in her eyes, and whispered, “You’re too hard on yourself.”
She pushed her face into my chest again, her arms tightening around my waist, until I knew she was comforting herself and Knight through the hold.
I stood there, strong and stalwart, prepared to stand there for a lifetime, prepared to stand there forever if it made her happy.
With the scent of her in my nostrils, the scent of Knight and that strangely satisfying baby smell, the sense of home I had with her in my arms, I knew standing here for a lifetime would be no hardship.
Although I doubted Knight would be grateful to be stuck here when he turned eighteen…
A smirk that she couldn’t see crossed my lips. After all, the boy was demanding, as only an alpha whelp could be.
“I hate it when you call him that,” she grumbled. “Alpha whelp. Makes him sound like some kind of puppy from a breeding farm.”
I snorted. “You have to get used to the terminology. We’ve been out of pack life for your three-month milk moon, but that’s coming to an end shortly. Once it’s over, everyone will call him that. Especially as he’s so strong.”
“It shouldn’t be that weird. Ethan and Austin were telling me about how all kids are getting stronger now.”
“They are, but Knight is stronger still.” I blew out a breath, and even though what I was about to say concerned me, I decided that it would be a matter of borrowing trouble if I worried about it now. “I wouldn’t be surprised if he lasts to his fifth or sixth year before he shifts.”
She gaped at that. “You’re kidding!” Sabina pulled back to give me a full blast of the gawk, but what was I supposed to do—lie to her? Not likely.
“I wish I was. He’s a powerful child. I can feel it in our bond.”
Her eyes softened at that, and I knew why too—she loved that we had a bond. I supposed it made sense after what I’d learned of her relationship with her father, but even though mine hadn’t been the best dad to Austin and Ethan, he’d been a pretty good one to me. At least, up until I’d been around six or seven, when the boys had come along.
He’d gotten pretty angry afte
r that, had changed to the point where he hadn’t always been a pleasure to be around, but the truth was, he’d been good to me. Just strict. And with my wolf being as strong as he was, that was exactly what I needed.
I needed discipline and structure. Just like Knight would too.
Daniel, as well. He’d gotten over his shift early last year and was now taking part in pack runs, but though his wolf was slowly getting stronger, was adapting to pack life, I could feel his needs changing as well.
Even though he was only a boy, he didn’t feel that way. I remembered what that was like.
“We have to help them both,” she whispered. “Make sure they’re looked after, but given the love they need too.”
My lips twitched. “I think that’s on your shoulders, my mate. I’ll love them, but sometimes, tough love is what an alpha whelp needs. Now, don’t go all tense on me. It’s true. They need to learn that they can’t test boundaries. The limits are there for a reason, and they matter.”
She heaved a sigh, but I knew she heard the car rumbling down the drive as well as I did, because she stiffened as, with each moment, the wheels rustled down the gravel, making it sing as it approached the house.
I murmured, “I don’t know why you’re so stressed. She sounded eager to see you.”
“After she guilt-tripped me for not getting in touch.”
That had me shrugging. “I think it was more a case of you letting her think you were dead, love. And you did do that, you made that choice, just like she made choices too. If she makes you feel bad for them, then just own them. You did what you had to do. Hell, you did what you were fated to do, and that can’t be argued, considering exactly where you are right this second.”
She bit her lip. “I hate to think that Kian died just so that I could end up here.”
“Some are fated to live a long and miserable life, some are fated to live an existence filled with love but one that ends short.” I shrugged, but that wasn’t a dismissive move. It was an acceptance of what all shifters knew—the Mother decided these things. Not us. We had no say in it, and as such, we had to embrace whatever time we had.
Of course, we had more time than humans. More time in our prime. We didn’t live much longer than they did, but we didn’t start to truly deteriorate until we were in our late eighties, early nineties. And even then, we merely appeared to be in our sixties to humans.
It caused us a lot of crap in towns where humans existed and where they knew people who’d looked thirty for a few decades, but equally, most packs owned towns, as did we, and if there were humans in the vicinity, the truth of what we were had been passed down through the generations.
“I just wish he had another chance like I had.”
“There’s no point in thinking such things, and I know you only are because of your sister’s arrival. But if she makes you feel bad for trying to leave a life that would have left you living in fear, that would have seen you tied into a loveless marriage for your family’s benefit, then remind her of that. No woman should have to endure what you’d have been forced to endure.”
“Do you feel forced?”
That, and not for the first time, had me gaping at her. “Are you being serious?”
She started to giggle at that, and it made my own lips twitch, even though I knew I was staring at her as if she’d grown horns. Maybe that would make more sense to me than for her to think any of what we had together was forced.
“I’m being serious,” she said softly, but there was a light bounce of amusement to her tone, which told me even if it had started off seriously, my initial reaction to her question was enough for her to know she was nuts. That I thought she was batshit.
“Well, you need to scrub that thought from your head, because nothing about what we have together is forced.”
“Not all mates can want to get together, surely? Look at your mother and her second mate.”
“They wanted to be together,” I said sadly. “It was my father who wasn’t happy about it.”
Her nose crinkled. “I know. But you see, things don’t always work out, do they? Things don’t always function just because it’s how the Mother willed it.”
I rolled my eyes. “Are you sure you haven’t played chess before?”
She grinned at me. “We played backgammon when I was a child, not chess.”
“Well, either way, that was a grand master move right there. Wheedling me into handing out information.” I snorted. “Yes, some mates aren’t always happy to find their ones.”
“Why?”
“Is now really the time when your sister is on her way?”
She tugged at my lapel. “Tell me.”
Heaving a sigh, like I was the most put upon man in all the world, I muttered, “Because sometimes, when the covenant gives us nothing, when we’re left in a world of solitude knowing that we have to make our own fate, or hope that She’ll provide us with that person at some point, we know we have to find a partner like a human does.
“That isn’t easy for a wolf shifter. Not only because two wolf shifters rarely get together unless they’re mated. Mostly, non-mated wolf shifters will be with humans, but what if you start a life with that human? What if you create a family—”
“They can get humans pregnant?”
“No,” I countered. “Not a natural family. But, first, remember, this is just us—wolves. There are plenty of other crazy cultural rules for all the different types of shifters out there. So with us, even though we can’t get a human pregnant, that doesn’t stop people from adopting or from taking on the partner’s child or children as their own.”
Her lip plopped in between her teeth as she started to gnaw on it. “I don’t think I like where this is going.”
“I wouldn’t either if I’d been in their position,” I told her gravely. “What if a man is happy with another woman, pleased with his lot in life, and has more than he ever expected for himself, and then the Mother throws him a curveball?”
She gulped. “What happens?”
“Sometimes, a mate can be rejected. It happens rarely, but it does happen. Especially in those situations. The Mother, as you so rightly surmised, isn’t always right.” Before she could get any ideas, however, I told her gruffly, “But where we’re concerned, everything about what we have together is perfect. I never expected to have you, Sabina. You’re a gift I thank Her for every day, and the way you’ve united me with the twins, making them not just friends, but tied to me through the bonds of blood, is more than I could ever have anticipated.”
Her eyes gleamed with happy tears this time, but she whispered, “You could have told them you were their brother, not just their alpha yourself.”
I shrugged. “I wouldn’t have. I wouldn’t upset the status quo, not when it could only cause expectations to shift and not in the way they needed. Bound together as we are, their rightful places were easy to ascend to. But without you to tie us all together, it would have left us with pockets of discontent. That’s no way to manage a pack. You’ve changed our worlds for the better, not just your mates’, either, but the pack itself.
“They’ve no idea how grateful they should be for you, and maybe they’ll never truly appreciate you and everything you do, but that doesn’t matter because you have to know that I do. That Ethan and Austin do too.” I reached up and tapped her bottom lip, the one she’d been sucking on and nibbling. “You’re ours, but we’re yours. Never forget that.”
She swallowed. “I never could, and I never will.”
I smiled, knowing the light of joy shone in my eyes as I told her, “Well, remember that. Remember it if Lara gives you a hard time, if she gives you shit about your past. She’s entitled to at first, because she thought you were dead! She’s got some things to come to terms with. But equally, if she can’t forgive and forget after a while, then she’s not the sister you need.”
“That isn’t how family works,” she argued.
“Maybe not. But I won’t have you put down by any
one, not even a blood relative.” I reached down and pressed a kiss to her now sulky mouth. “She’s here. I can hear her, so stiffen those shoulders and accept that the first few minutes might be awkward, but that everything will work out for a reason. Hmm?”
She sniffed a little. “Bossy.”
“And you love me for it,” I joked, grinning when her nose crinkled in agreement.
She bopped up onto her toes, kissed me quickly, then darted around me, all signs of her nerves having disappeared.
I followed after her, tracing her footsteps as I wandered out to the front veranda to watch her greet her sister.
I had expected things to be awkward, that was the truth. It was why I’d warned her over it.
But it wasn’t.
If anything, it was the opposite. The pair of them darted together like they were magnetized the second that they saw one another, and both of them instantly opened their arms, spreading them wide as they shot into each other’s embrace.
I felt Austin and Ethan crowd me as they spanned out behind me.
“That’s a good portent of things to come,” Ethan murmured.
He was right.
It was.
So I nodded, and said, “Let’s hope it means she can help us help Seth, hmm?”
When all I received were grunts of agreement for my pains, I merely grimaced. I’d never liked Seth and had always been grateful that his father rarely brought him to the pack meetings for chastisement. Now, however, I felt bad for that. He needed discipline, but it was somehow too late.
I wasn’t sure how Sabina thought Lara could help him, but we needed to do something before we had a second Hitler on our hands.
Five
Sabina
The smell of her, the feel of her, the look of her—it was my baby sister. All Lara. But equally, she was different. Which, of course, made total sense. Thirteen years had passed since the last time I’d seen her. Over a decade of her having time to grow into the beautiful woman standing before me.
She looked drawn and exhausted, not that I could blame her, not after what she’d been through. But equally, I could see our mother in her. She was dark like me, but with a few more golden and reddish tints to her hair than I had. Her skin was the same caramel as mine, and her eyes were a rich green that sparkled in the sunlight. Where I was all dark, she had a mix to her, like she was a—
Moon Child: A PNR Shifter Romance (The Year of the Wolf Book 2) Page 7