My mouth worked at that, as I processed my thoughts and tried to shoo them away.
“What is it? What’s wrong?”
Trust Ethan to be the one to pick up on my sudden disquiet.
“Nothing’s wrong. I promise. Thank you for asking though.”
He huffed, which sent shivers down my spine because I felt it internally, but I ignored him and focused on Lara.
She was skin and bone right now, and her cheeks were drawn in, the lines a little more pronounced from hunger and exhaustion and fear. The time spent fearing the shifter hyena’s attack had taken its toll on her, and I sensed she was truly grateful to be here, happy and not at all annoyed because she was safe. She was alive. And she hadn’t expected to make it out of her home in anything other than a body bag.
But here she was.
In my arms.
Knight cooed between us, making us both laugh as he giggled and gurgled. I’d never known a baby before who liked being squished as much as this kid, but it figured when I thought about how I loved being with his fathers, loved being trapped between them, and not just in a sexual way either.
Our animal side appreciated the closeness, the bonds that came from the time spent together, and Knight was pure animal right now. Especially with how he gnawed on my boobs.
She reached up, shaking me from my thoughts. One hand settled on my cheek, and the other cupped Knight’s head.
It was stupid of me to forget that she could sense my emotions, stupid of me when that was the major reason I’d brought her here. Sure, we needed to figure out if she could help us in some way, and I wasn’t talking just about with Seth. We all knew that if Cyrilo was powerful, and if I was too, it was likely she held a power of her own, so she needed to be brought to us so we could help her figure that out.
But even as a human, she’d always been strong. Always seen things more than anyone.
I’d seen auras, but it hadn’t been a powerful trait. It had been enough to get me by, to enable me to earn a living from fortune-telling as a carny, and to help me ascertain if I was in danger or not—very helpful when you were on the run.
But Lara’s gifts were life-changing. And not in a good way.
She’d often stayed at home to avoid people, because she couldn’t deal with them and their emotions. She’d often evaded school trips and the like, because she couldn’t cope with being around too many people. The trouble was, of course, when you lived like we did, surrounded constantly by humanity as we traveled from town to town, hustling, there was never any peace.
She needed that.
In more ways than I thought she even knew, and that was another reason why I’d brought her here.
The twins had lived in a cabin just off the packhouse. It was enough of a distance away that she could stay there, be close, while being able to cut herself off too.
The packhouse was a lot busier than before. With Eli having changed how he ruled the pack, it was no longer a case of meetings only happening at the totem. People visited us every day, at all hours between nine and six, and we had a lot of humanity trampling through the place.
But the cabin would give her a respite from that. It was a little too far away for her to actually feel people’s emotions, but if she did, maybe she could help. She’d always wanted that. Had always wanted to be useful, but she was so sensitive that she couldn’t.
I hoped that had changed, hoped for her sake that she’d been able to lead more of a life than what she’d had before, but I doubted it.
Especially from the aura around her… While her energy was good, upbeat, her aura was filled with sadness. Sorrow. Apathy.
Not a good sign, and it made me all the happier to know she was here, because maybe we could do something to improve her quality of life.
She broke into my thoughts with: “I thought you were allergic to dogs.”
I snickered. “I used to be. Apparently getting spidey senses is the best antihistamine going.”
“Apparently,” she said ruefully. “Especially with this little man here… I can’t believe I have a nephew. My, he’s a strong one,” she rumbled.
I sighed. “I know.”
She grinned, and it was genuine and earnest and so beautiful to behold, that I knew I’d done the right thing in finding her. Not only because I’d been there on that call, the one that had kept her going while the hyena attacked, but because if I could bring her out of herself, I’d consider it a job well done.
“Eli’s son, no?”
I nodded, surprised that she’d figured that out. Knight, as much as I adored him, was still a mush of features that were forming into how he’d look when he was older. And considering the men were all bound together by blood anyway, it would be pretty impossible to discern a difference between them at this point.
A shifter would scent it, even though my she-wolf did find it difficult, simply because of how much time Knight spent with all four of us. I liked the idea of that though. Of the lines of fatherhood blurring simply by how much we were all together.
Sure, Austin was finding it hard to acclimatize, but they were all so good with him. I couldn’t be anything other than grateful for their help.
Lara hummed under her breath, then said, “I trained as a doula.”
It wasn’t only Eli who was going to have me gawking at them today. “You? You trained as a doula?”
She snickered. “Yeah, I did. I didn’t do it long, though. I couldn’t cope when things went wrong.” A memory had her blowing out a shaky breath. “But I can tell you now, you’re doing okay. He’s happy. Hungry, but happy.” Her head tilted to the side. “You’re breastfeeding, aren’t you?” Then her cheeks burned. “God, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked. That was so rude of me. I mean, you’re probably using formula, aren’t you? And that’s perfectly fine too!”
I had to laugh at her babbling, because it reminded me of the young Lara, a Lara who hadn’t been as somber, who’d been a lot goofy too.
At her verbal diarrhea, I placed a hand on her shoulder and murmured, “Lara? You can ask me anything you want and I will always answer. I’d say you could ask me all the stuff you never had the chance to ask me after I left, but I think you already know what the birds and the bees are, huh?”
“If I didn’t, I’d have been a crappy doula, wouldn’t I?”
We both snickered at that, and the sudden splash of orange and pink in her aura that highlighted just how uncomfortable the conversation had made her, abated, morphing white as she accepted that I wasn’t judging her.
“I’m supplementing with formula,” I told her softly, rubbing Knight’s head. “But he’s always hungry.”
“How do you know he’s always hungry?”
“Because he’s gnawing on my boobs all the time?”
Her brows rose. “Well, that’s normal.”
“It—well, no. It can’t be,” I reasoned. “He gets so frustrated. I hate it.” Then, as shame hit me, I whispered, “It makes me feel so useless. I feel like I’m letting him down.”
“Well, you’re not. It’s totally down to you, but if you carry on supplementing with formula, then you’ll need to add more and more because your milk production will never increase to the point where it can satisfy him. You just need to reconnect with him, and he’ll control the flow.”
I blinked at that. “Seriously?”
“Seriously. You don’t have to believe me, of course.” She shrugged. “And I kind of can’t believe that I’m standing outside this massive house of yours talking about breastmilk, but I could just sense—”
I tipped my head to the side. “What could you sense, love?”
“He’s hungry and you’re sad. Plus…” She waved a hand at me. “I just know something isn’t right.” She cleared her throat. “Do you have any pain there?”
I shook my head. “No.”
A hum escaped her. “I’ll watch over you, make sure you don’t get an infection or anything.”
That had my eyes flaring wide,
but it was my turn to clear my throat too. “Okay. Thank you, Lara.”
Her grin appeared, and it was swift and sharp. “Well, that kind of broke the ice, didn’t it?”
“Talking about tits will do that to you, I guess,” I said wryly, but I beamed at her because she was right.
Eli had warned me that it might be awkward, that the first few moments of our being back together would be difficult.
But they weren’t.
She’d never have tried to help if they were.
I knew what she was like. She never shoved her opinions onto other people, because she couldn’t deal with their anger, and I didn’t blame her, not after I’d seen what one of our father’s rages could do to her—it could incapacitate her.
For Lara’s sake, I hoped she’d grown stronger mental barriers, but I wasn’t even sure if that was possible. I knew I was trying to craft them with the guys, in an effort to keep some distance between us all so that they could have their private thoughts and I could have mine, only it wasn’t as easy as it might have seemed.
It wasn’t like I could just go to Home Depot and pick up some dry wall, now was it?
I heaved a sigh at that, especially when Austin murmured, “Wouldn’t life be simpler if everything was at Home Depot?”
“You’re not supposed to be listening,” I chided, but there was no heat to my rebuke as I turned around to shoot him a grin. When he grinned back, I’d admit to being floored. To being positively hurled to the ground as I stared at him and just felt the heat of our connection.
Sometimes, that happened. Sometimes, especially after I’d been emotional, I was reminded that I belonged to three powerful men, men who included me in that power, who thought I was stronger than even they were. While it boggled my mind, it was beyond delicious to know they saw me as their version of Wonder Woman.
Okay, I didn’t have her ass or those perky tits anymore, but they didn’t seem to mind.
I turned to Lara, who was eying up my three mates with a wary eye. She was judging them, not just on what they looked like, I knew, but on what they were feeling. I was used to this too, and it stunned me how easy it was to fall back into the regular rhythm of life with her.
I always talked so that she could have a moment to assimilate the lay of the land. So she could figure out what her first words would be.
Wanting to introduce her, I reached for her then jumped when she released a hiss and a pained, “Ouch.”
“What is it?” I asked, worried.
“That hyena got a few licks in.” She pulled a face. “It’s okay. The scratches are still sore as hell. The infection only just worked its way out of my system.”
“Shit, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I peered at her aura, trying to see if I could sense the injury, but I saw nothing.
She wafted a hand. “Don’t be silly. I know you didn’t.” Her smile turned less dubious, a little brighter as she turned to my mates, and I knew that was a prompt.
So, taking it, I declared, “Guys, this is Lara.”
“Figured as much,” Austin said dryly. “Seeing as she’s the only chick who got out of the SUV.”
I stuck out my tongue at him. “You’re such a smart ass.”
“My ass is many things, and smart is definitely one of them.” I knew if we’d been alone, he’d have tapped his butt, and I grinned at the thought of him doing that in front of the strangers who were from a foreign pack.
I must have sent the imagery across, because all three mates were coughing as they hid their own amusement, but I twisted around, saw the others standing there, a tad awkwardly, and I knew why.
I’d forgotten about Berry!
And she was so close to them that it was beyond awkward.
Her haunches were high, her eyes narrowed, and she was staring at them like they were a threat.
More importantly, with her head at the same level as their dicks, it was no wonder they were all standing in a way that shielded said penises with their hands.
The sight had my lips twitching, and I clicked my tongue. “Berry. Stop it. They came to help us.”
“Smell different.”
“They’re from a different place.”
She heaved a sigh. “Too many people. Not good.” Another sniff. “Can scent hyena. Why?”
“Lara was attacked by one,” I explained, ignoring her answering huff.
I knew she was only huffing and puffing because she hated change, but when I whistled under my breath, her two pups, the ones Ethan had saved, came scampering out of the house and darted around her.
I was surprised to see that they were growing at a rate that was definitely not what Wikipedia had advised. But when I thought about how unnatural they were, I guessed it wasn’t that unusual. They were still smaller, not as mature, even though they were a year old at this point and shouldn’t be pups anymore—yet pups was exactly what they were. I liked seeing them together, mostly because it made her chill the fuck out.
The second they were dancing circles around her, she yipped at them to back off, which, of course, they ignored.
As the three of them grew more entangled in play, I eyed the men and said, “I’d move aside now if I were you, before she remembers you’re here.”
One guy blinked, then muttered, “Never seen a natural that big before, ma’am.”
“We breed them big in the boondocks,” Eli called out, striding forward to curve an arm around me. He hauled me into his side, then held out a hand.
The men eyed it warily, but I understood why—alphas didn’t shake hands with just anyone. But these weren’t just anyone. They’d helped bring my sister home and through several packs who weren’t their own.
That was dangerous, according to my mates, so they deserved a reward.
I cleared my throat and murmured, “I just wanted to thank you for helping Lara.”
“It was our pleasure.” The one in the middle was the enforcer, but I sensed beta-type personalities in the other two as well, just not as strong as the middle one. “But we’ll be off now, Alpha,” he declared after warily taking Eli’s hand and shaking it.
Once.
“You must stay the night,” I argued. “You’ve traveled a long time. You must need the rest.”
But they all shook their heads and eyed Berry up like she was a box of TNT.
I couldn’t blame them, not when I’d seen her tear into my brother, Cyrilo, and rip his throat out.
My lips quirked at the thought, because that bastard was the one who’d killed my son, my high school sweetheart-husband, and who had torn my throat out and made me a shifter. Of course, I had a lot to be thankful for, but that wasn’t to say that I had to be happy about how it had all come about, did I?
He hadn’t intended for me to find three mates, to become the female leader of a powerful pack, and to have a connection with the Mother that would see me change the way the pack was governed in more ways than one.
In fact, I had to believe that if Cyrilo had known all that, he’d have purposely left me the hell alone.
Still, I heaved a sigh when they darted back like wusses and got inside the SUV.
“Why were they so scared?” Lara asked as she watched them drive off with a frown. “I didn’t even get to say goodbye.”
Austin blinked at her. “You could have said it then.”
“She works differently, Austin. She isn’t as quick to talk as we are.”
“As you are,” Ethan grumbled at his brother, making me roll my eyes.
Seriously, when this milk moon stuff was over with, I was boning Ethan twice because he was a serious grouch when he was horny.
Thankfully, my barriers stayed erect at that, because Austin didn’t even make a quip at my thoughts, and I twisted back around to Lara and murmured, “Berry is special. They sensed that, that’s why they wanted to get out of the way.”
“Oh, that isn’t normal? I mean, he said she was a natural but…”
I frowned at her. “But, what
?”
“Well, she’s a shifter, isn’t she?” Lara asked, her voice wary now, but her question had all of us tensing.
“You can recognize that?” Eli rasped, his face loaded with a tension I easily understood. Especially as Berry wasn’t a shifter.
She worried her bottom lip, and I could tell that she wished she hadn’t said anything. Her shoulders hunched up, which prompted me to move forward, to raise my arm and curve it about her shoulder so that I could haul her in close to me.
“It’s okay, sweetheart. We’re not worried. Just very surprised.” I cleared my throat when Eli’s impatience bombarded me, never mind her.
I glowered at him, and mentally flipped him the bird. “She can feel your irritation,” I ground out, watching him glare back at me before he huffed a breath and stacked his hands on his hips.
“You’re not afraid of him, are you?”
Lara’s question had my brows soaring high, but my men shuffled about awkwardly. They knew we’d both been raised in an abusive household, so her question didn’t put them on the defensive, just made them a tad uncomfortable.
As well as homicidal.
Father was fortunate he was already dead, was all I’d say.
“I’m never afraid of any of them.”
“Even when they’re angry?”
“They’re never angry with me. Even if I do stupid shit.” My lips quirked up at that, when I thought about all the times I’d woken them up when I was pregnant to go traipsing through the woods to the totem circle.
I mean, at first, they hadn’t known they’d get laid, but they’d come with me, grumbling and grousing as I wandered through the forest like a sylph.
“You never do stupid shit,” Lara argued. “You’re very sensible.”
Austin snorted. “I wouldn’t say that.”
I grinned at him. “You love how sensible I am.”
His laugh made my heart soar, and I turned my grin to my sister, letting her soak in the rays because she hadn’t had enough joy in her life, and I knew that was founded in our heritage in more ways than just one.
Moon Child: A PNR Shifter Romance (The Year of the Wolf Book 2) Page 8