Tell That to My Heart

by Eliza J Scott

  ‘More like the other way round, Mim!’ Anna-Lisa looked outraged. ‘You’re a decent person, he’s a slimy bastard.’

  ‘I agree,’ said Aidey.

  ‘I can’t believe I let myself fall into the usual trap. I wouldn’t care, I had a feeling at the back of my mind that something wasn’t right, but would I listen to it? No, I just go and end up making myself look an absolute laughing stock again.’

  ‘I think you did listen to it, Mim, I think that’s why you didn’t agree to his favour straight away. And you’re not a laughing stock.’

  ‘Yeah, well, tell that to my heart, not to mention my pride.’

  ‘What favour’s this?’ asked Aidey.

  ‘Ah, well, apparently his parents have sold a couple of expensive cars to some customers abroad, but they’re having problems with their bank – or they’re switching it or something; it was all a bit confusing – so Caspar asked me if these clients could transfer the payment directly into my account then, at a later date, I’d transfer it to his parents’ new account.’

  ‘What?’ Aidey frowned.

  ‘Oh, it gets better; tell him how much, Mim,’ said Anna-Lisa.

  ‘It’s over a hundred grand; he said I’d be able to take a cut of it as some kind of “thank you”.’

  ‘You’ve got to be kidding me! That’s seriously dodgy, Mim. And am I right in believing you haven’t agreed to it?’

  Mim couldn’t remember a time when she’d seen Aidey look more annoyed. She shook her head, a sob escaping her mouth. ‘I told him I’d think about it over the weekend and let him know my answer on Monday.’

  ‘Thank God for that. Promise me you’ll say no.’

  ‘I promise.’

  ‘Good. And as for this business with the photographs, he’s so not worth it, Mim, you’re way better than him,’ said Aidey.

  ‘That’s what I keep telling her.’

  ‘No, I’m not, I’m a disaster. I look like a disaster and I am a disaster.’ Mim dashed away the tears that had started falling again.

  ‘Right, I think this calls for a hot chocolate and a long-overdue talking-to, Mim Dewberry.’ Anna-Lisa pushed herself up. ‘Come on, let’s get a change of scenery and move to the kitchen for a bit.’

  ‘But I don’t want to spoil your night, we were supposed to be having a chilled time together, not spending the evening listening to me whinge about my pathetic life choices.’

  ‘You’re spoiling no one’s night, and I agree with Anna, come on. I know how you love a hot chocolate, I heard as much yesterday after you sucked the life out of that poor marshmallow.’ Aidey took her hand and pulled Mim up, his words eliciting a watery smile from her.

  Anna-Lisa sloshed milk into a pan before adding the chocolate powder and set to whisking, all under the watchful gaze of Herbert. ‘I’m afraid you can’t have any of this, Herbs, chocolate isn’t good for hounds.’

  Mim glanced up. ‘He likes boiled milk, I usually do extra for him when I’m having some. Would you mind putting some in a separate pan for him?’

  ‘Course, no problem, can’t have you missing out can we, Herbert?’

  The Labrador’s ear pricked up at the mention of his name.

  Soon, the friends were sitting around the table. Anna-Lisa was the first to speak. ‘Look, Mim, I have to say, after seeing those photos of Caspar and Clarissa tonight, it didn’t come as a surprise. I’ve never made a secret of the fact that I don’t trust him, and that added to the favour he’s asked of you only goes to confirm my doubts about him.’

  ‘I can understand that.’ Mim nodded.

  ‘But what I really want to say to you is that you’re worth so much more. Much more than Caspar, and much more than the men you seem to be drawn to – Rick’s a classic example. From what I’ve seen over the years, it’s almost as if you’re subconsciously pursuing relationships with men that are doomed to fail. Anyone looking at the situation from an objective viewpoint might be tempted to say your relationship history mirrors that of your mother’s.’

  ‘I’m inclined to agree with Anna; I can remember what Josie used to say about your mum and her boyfriends when we were at school,’ said Aidey.

  Mim sat staring into her mug, pondering her friends’ words. She’d never thought about it like that before, but they were right, her relationship history was scarily similar to her mother’s – the very last person she ever wanted to be compared to. What a fool she hadn’t seen it before now. Her eyes brimmed with tears. ‘You’re right, I can see that now you’ve said it.’

  ‘Oh, Mim, don’t cry.’ Aidey pulled his chair up beside her and wrapped his arm around her.

  ‘Mim, chick, don’t waste any more of your tears on those losers.’ Anna-Lisa squeezed her friend’s hand. ‘You just need to put them behind you and move on. You’ve had a lucky escape with Caspar.’

  Mim nodded.

  ‘And you need to stop going into relationships as if you don’t deserve any better,’ Anna-Lisa added.

  ‘But I don’t deserve any better, I’m a disaster. Look at me compared to our Josie. She’s got her perfect life and what have I got? Everything I touch seems to turn to crap.’

  ‘That’s not true, she’s just used your mum as an example of how not to live her life; I can remember her saying words to that effect when we were teenagers,’ said Aidey.

  He was right; Josie always used to say she was going to use their mum as an example of how not to be and, if she ever got married, she wanted her marriage to be just like their grandparents’. Looking at Russ, he was about as far removed from any of their mother’s boyfriends as possible. Mim’s, too, for that matter.

  ‘I promise you, Mimbo, you just need to get Monday out of the way, deal with Caspar and his favour, then things will feel better.’ Anna-Lisa flashed her a warm smile.

  Mim sniffed and wiped her nose on her sleeve. ‘The thing is, I’m nowhere near as gutted as I thought I’d be after seeing that photo of Caspar with Clarissa. I thought I’d be devastated if I ever found out he was the same as the rest, but weirdly I’m not. Yes, I’m hurt, but in a funny way, I feel almost relieved it’s over; it didn’t seem real somehow.’

  Aidey gave her a squeeze. ‘Well, that’s got to be good news.’

  ‘It is, that scumbag’s so not worth you being upset, chick,’ said Anna-Lisa.

  Mim sighed. ‘I know.’

  They finished their hot chocolates and migrated back to the living room where they continued watching television until sleep beckoned, for Anna-Lisa and Aidey at least. Mim had only half-watched the series, her mind regularly sloping off onto the photo of Caspar and Clarissa. She pushed the image away when she felt fresh tears threaten; she didn’t want to spoil her friends’ night any more than she already had done. And, though she felt emotionally and physically drained, she was dreading her head hitting the pillow and having to face the usual agonisingly long hours of lying awake until the dawn chorus kicked in and, as if in some perverse way, sleep suddenly decided to lay claim to her.

  31

  Mim woke to the sound of a wood pigeon cooing from the branches of the pear tree in the garden. Judging by the level of light pushing its way into the room she reckoned it must be at least ten o’clock. Her nostrils twitched as she detected the aroma of bacon frying, making her stomach rumble appreciatively. She pushed her hair off her face and reached for her alarm clock; it was nearly ten thirty. Thank goodness for weekends and the opportunity to have a lie-in. The memory of last night kicked in. Caspar and Clarissa. Her heart sank. ‘Here we go again.’

  She’d lain awake for hours the previous night, her mind a toxic mix of Caspar, Clarissa, Yorkshire Portions, Honey, and all of the individual problems attached to them. Mim hadn’t even tried to fight it as she usually did, hadn’t attempted to clear her mind and let sleep find its way in; she’d known it would be futile. Instead, she’d just let her worries do their worst, which they had, bounding from one anxiety to the next.

  ‘Actually, bollocks to “here we go again�
�. I’m taking control of my life and I’m not going to let another man make me feel like crap again.’ She pushed herself up and climbed out of bed. ‘I knew he was trouble; I should’ve listened to my gut.’

  Mim followed the delicious smell of bacon frying into the kitchen where she found Anna-Lisa standing over a pan full of fried breakfast goodies. ‘That smells seriously good.’

  ‘Morning, Mim, how did you sleep?’ Anna-Lisa slid the pan off the heat and rushed over to Mim, pulling her into a hug.

  ‘Ughh! I’d love to say I slept like a log, but that would be a big fat lie, but I did manage a few hours once the birds woke up, like I usually do.’

  ‘Well, that’s something at least. Coffee?’

  ‘I’ll make it. And since there’s no drooling Labrador watching your every move at the oven I’m guessing Herbert’s somewhere with Aidey.’

  ‘Yep, they’re out in the garden having a bit of male bonding time.’ Anna-Lisa smiled and nodded towards the window.

  Mim looked out to see Aidey, still in his pyjamas, having a game of Frisbee with Herbert. The Labrador was tearing backwards and forwards, his breath coming out in a cloud of steam. His happy expression made her laugh. ‘Look at the state of him, he’s having a whale of a time.’

  ‘Who, Aidey or Herbs?’

  ‘Herbert,’ Mim said with a giggle.

  ‘He loves Aidey to bits, doesn’t he?’ Anna-Lisa came to stand beside her.

  ‘He does, it’s because Aidey’s always been lovely with him.’

  ‘Aidey’s lovely with everyone.’

  As if aware of being watched Aidey turned and beamed a smile at the two women. It sent a flutter of something stirring inside Mim. Anna-Lisa made an eating gesture to him and he nodded, giving one last throw of the Frisbee before venturing back inside.

  ‘Hiya, Mim.’ He entered the kitchen on a blast of fresh air, his cheeks ruddy. ‘How’re you this morning?’

  ‘I’m good thanks, Aidey. How about you? Now then, Herbs, been having fun?’ She bent to fuss Herbert who’d charged straight over to her.

  ‘All the better for having some fresh air with the Frisbee king over there,’ Aidey said with a chuckle. ‘He’s got so much energy.’

  ‘Tell me about it. He’ll think he’s earned himself a sausage or two after that, won’t you, Herbert?’

  ‘That’s because he has. I’ve set a couple aside for him to have when they’ve cooled down. Grub’s nearly up by the way.’ Anna-Lisa started ladling food onto the plates.

  Over breakfast they agreed to avoid all conversation related to Yorkshire Portions, so as not to spoil their enjoyment of their food. It proved easier said than done since the company, and all its associated problems, occupied such a huge chunk of their thoughts at the moment. Mim swallowed her mouthful of toast. ‘So, Aidey, tell us all about Hamish’s new pad.’ She felt pleased at her choice of “safe” topic.

  ‘Oh, yeah, did you say it was a farm?’ asked Anna-Lisa.

  ‘It’s more of a small-holding really, but it’s called Dane’s Garth Farm and it’s in Mistleby, the same village where our parents live. It’s an amazing place, needs a fair bit doing to it – hence why he and Laura got it for such a good price – but it’s got loads of potential. It’s got a huge barn that’s been converted into a couple of offices, so he’s going to be running his planning consultancy business from one of them, and offering the spare one up for rent.’

  Mim nodded. ‘I can remember you telling us about that, it’ll save him having to pay rent to someone else; that place he was using in the centre of York was getting expensive, wasn’t it?’

  ‘It was.’ Aidey took a sip of his coffee.

  ‘And he’ll save a fortune in petrol, not to mention parking in the city,’ said Anna-Lisa.

  ‘Yeah, and there’s ample parking for his clients, too, so they won’t have to worry about that.’

  ‘And is Laura still chuffed about it?’ asked Mim.

  ‘She’s over the moon; the school in the village has a great reputation, there’s loads of room for little Rory to run around safely and get loads of fresh air, and she can’t wait to get stuck into the smaller barn which they’re going to convert into a holiday let.’

  ‘Sounds perfect for them,’ said Anna-Lisa.

  ‘It is.’ Aidey nodded. Mim noted he looked thoughtful but didn’t like to ask. She wondered if he was thinking that Hamish seemed to have it all, despite being a year younger than him.

  Anna-Lisa appeared to pick up Aidey’s expression, too. ‘So, how do you fancy a walk after breakfast?’

  Herbert’s ears pricked up and he looked across at them hopefully.

  ‘I’m up for that. Though, I’ll need to head off early in the afternoon, I’ve got some freelance work I want to finish today,’ said Aidey.

  ‘You won’t find Herbs and me complaining about going for a walk on a gorgeous sunny day like today.’ In truth, Mim was glad of the distraction; she knew as soon as her friends had gone, her mind would turn straight to Caspar and Honey.

  ‘Right, so we’re in agreement, there’s nothing we can really do or say to Honey about all the missing stuff, our only option is to remain vigilant and make sure she’s not left on her own in the office.’ Anna-Lisa slung her backpack over her shoulder and picked up her overnight bag; she’d offered to stay another night, but Mim had refused, feeling guilty about keeping her away from Caleb.

  ‘Yep, and we mustn’t lose sight of the gravity of what she’s doing: if she really is trying to set us up to look like thieves then that’s serious shit.’

  Aidey’s words sent a shiver down Mim’s spine.

  ‘Yeah, much as we hate working at Yorkshire Portions, we don’t want to leave it because we’ve been set up by an evil little cow like her,’ said Anna.

  ‘Too right.’ Aidey turned to Mim. ‘Are you going to be okay getting a lift from Caspar in the morning?’

  Mim felt anxiety swirl around her stomach. She was absolutely dreading seeing Caspar. ‘I should be okay, we won’t be in the car for long, and I’ve no intention of mentioning the photos of him and Clarissa.’

  ‘Yes, but he’s bound to ask if you’ve given the favour any more thought. Will you be okay telling him on your own?’ asked Anna-Lisa.

  ‘I’ll be fine, stop worrying.’ She didn’t want to tell her friends, after seeing a glimpse of his anger, she was more than a little anxious about how he’d take the news. They worried about her enough, she didn’t want to add to it.

  ‘Okay, well, as long as you’re sure,’ said Anna-Lisa.

  ‘And you only have to let me know if you’ve changed your mind, I can easily come and get you.’

  ‘Thanks, Aidey, that’s really kind, but I think I’d prefer to get it out of the way, rather than having it hanging over me at work.’

  Mim watched her friends drive off down the village, Herbert sitting beside her at the garden gate. The house would feel very empty without them.

  32

  Mim’s heart was thudding as she looked out of the living room window waiting for Caspar to arrive. The sunshine that had graced Skeltwick over the weekend had disappeared and been replaced with a low-slung sky, heavy with thick, black clouds that threatened to burst at any moment. How very apt for a Monday, she thought.

  Before long, his sleek car pulled up outside the cottage. Mim did her best to quell her nerves as she slid into the warm leather seat and clicked her seatbelt into the socket.

  ‘Morning, Mim. Good weekend?’ Caspar leant across and kissed her as if nothing was out of the ordinary. It took her by surprise, and if he noticed her response lacked the usual passion, he didn’t let on.

  ‘Er, morning, yes, thanks. How about you?’ Maybe the photos weren’t what they seemed after all, she thought. Maybe they were just of two work colleagues, looking happy together for the sake of the camera, all completely innocent. But deep down, Mim knew that wasn’t true.

  ‘Not bad, thanks.’

  Mim waited for him to elaborate, but he
clearly had no intention. She steadied her breathing and gazed out of the window, watching the car eat up the country lanes as he made small-talk.

  Eventually, he flexed his fingers against the steering wheel, his body language suggesting he was building towards asking the thing she dreaded most. ‘And did you give any further thought to that little favour I asked of you? The one that would really help get my parents out of a sticky situation.’

  His words made her heart clench; he hadn’t waited long before broaching the subject. His choice of manipulative words sent a flicker of annoyance through her, his blatant intention of heaping guilt onto her shoulders transparent. Though she thought she’d prepared herself for this, it didn’t stop her from feeling anxious; her heart was beating so hard she could feel it thrumming in her ears. She took a deep breath and steeled herself. ‘Actually, I have given it some thought, and I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help out.’ Her face was burning, but she felt utterly relieved once she’d set her words free.

  Caspar increased his grip on the steering wheel, his knuckles blanching white. ‘I see. So when you say you don’t think you can help out, do you actually mean you won’t help out?’

  ‘Yes, I’m afraid so. I mean, you hardly know me, and your parents don’t know me at all, and with it being such a huge sum of money, well, my bank are going to think it’s very odd. What would I say if they started asking questions? Would they believe it if I told them the truth? It just doesn’t feel right, that’s all, makes me feel uncomfortable.’ Mim was aware she was gabbling. She stole a look at Caspar to see his face set stern, a muscle twitching in his cheek. The atmosphere in the car had been a little awkward to start with, but now it was downright uncomfortable.

  ‘Right. This doesn’t sound like you talking, and I get the feeling, despite me specifically asking you not to, you’ve spoken to those friends of yours, Anna-Lisa and Aidey, who’ve advised you against helping out. And, can I just add, it doesn’t surprise me one little bit of Aidan, his advice will not have come from a selfless place, Mim. He’s jealous of me, and has been from the moment I started at Yorkshire Portions; he knows my work is light years ahead of his and he can’t bear it. There’s no way he’d want you to help me and my family out.’