by Rayman Black
The buzz of an incoming text on my phone broke me out of my trance. I smiled ruefully as my stomach rumbled, underlining the need to stop and get back to the room. The text must be from Lori, letting me know Judith and Sabrina had returned with breakfast. I closed my laptop and picked up my phone, reading the short and sweet Chow time! on the screen. I was so focused on replying On my way and picking up my stuff that I didn’t see him come in until it was too late to hide.
Chris stood at the reception desk, his profile to me. He was talking to the receptionist, and for some strange reason, I was convinced he was trying to sweet talk her into giving him my room number. I froze, half hidden behind the urn of flowers. Dammit. I wasn’t ready to see him, wasn’t ready to discuss this - thing - that happened between us. I couldn’t even think the word marriage, not even to myself.
And yet, just setting eyes on him again did something to me, made me ache and yearn in a way I never had for another man. I wanted him to see me. I wanted to walk straight up to him and slide my arms around his waist, feel his arms come around me, like I belonged there. I shook my head and tried to sit further back on the couch. I must be lightheaded and confused from the hunger, I decided. As soon as Chris left, I would head straight for my room and not come out again until it was time to catch the plane home tomorrow.
Just then, as if he could hear my thoughts, he turned and caught sight of me. He smiled with pleasure, his gaze locked on mine. Would it work if I just pretended not to see him? I wondered insanely. Maybe he just won’t notice. But no such luck. He was already heading toward me.
10
Chris
“I don’t think the front desk people are allowed to just give out room numbers,” I said dryly, looking around at my friends. “Is that really the best idea we can come up with in the age of extra security for all things? I’m not a family member, I’m not a cop with a warrant, and I don’t even have a real emergency to fall back on. No one in their right mind is going to risk their job to give some random idiot a pretty woman’s room number. For all they know, I’m a complete nutcase.”
“You’re her husband,” Joshua pointed out. “That should give you some kind of cred.”
“Maybe,” I said doubtfully. “But what if I were an abusive husband, and she was trying to hide from me? There’s no saying I’m not, so we’re right back to asking why would they give me her room number in the first place? Why can’t we just ask your women for help?”
Thomas shrugged. “We can, but then you were freaking out about what you would do next if they decided to band together in womanly protest, and refuse to tell you. So this was the next best thing.”
I sighed. “It amazes me that four intelligent, professional men can’t come up with anything better than this.”
Kevin sighed, too, mimicking me theatrically. “It amazes me,” he countered, “That you can spend so much time sighing and worrying like my ninety-two-year-old grandmother. Just chill, dude. Do something, anything. If it works, great! If it doesn’t, then you worry about what to do next. Right now you’re just wasting time.”
I sighed again, but this time only to make Kevin laugh. “You’re right, you’re right,” I said, holding up my hands in surrender. “I will swallow my pride and ask my friends for help to find that incredible woman I married last night, since we failed to exchange phone numbers or other important locating information.” I glanced around at my friends, all of whom, I realized suddenly, had more of a chance to find Katie than I did, thanks to their various female ties. “Jesus, I’m pathetic,” I said.
“No, man, you’re not pathetic,” Thomas said sagely. “You’re in love.”
The impact of his words, the shock of it, rendered me speechless. How simply he said it. How casually they turned the talk to other things, to plans for the day and ideas to show their women a good time. Their voices became a background hum to me, barely perceived and hardly registering, as I wrestled with this idea my friend had so thoughtlessly dropped on my lap.
Did I love Katie?
On the one hand, it was a stupid question. I barely knew Katie. How on earth could I possibly love her? It was absurd. Admire her? Sure. Enjoy talking with her? Absolutely. Lust for her? Insanely.
But love? That was something else completely.
But then, on the other hand, when I honestly examined what I carried inside for her, I had to admit that it was far stronger than the sum of all those parts. I didn’t really have a name for it. What was it called when you felt an immediate understanding with a person? When you found them exciting and comfortable at the same time? There were so many interesting things to find out about her, so many things I already knew about her.
From the corner of my eye, I saw our waitress heading toward us. I discreetly tugged my wallet from my pocket and pulled out my debit card, handing it to her before the other men even realized she was there. Thomas began to protest, but I waved him off.
“Let me get this one,” I said, nodding politely to the woman. She slipped away quietly. “You listened to all my drama. You’ve earned it.”
“What’s next?” Kevin asked, looking at his phone. “Sabrina just texted me. She says she’s with Katie, that all of them are, and she’ll see me later.” He glanced up. “So it looks like I’m left to my own devices for awhile. You guys want to do anything?”
“I want to get outside and stretch my legs,” Thomas announced, tossing down his napkin and standing up. He stretched his arms over his head. “Why don’t we walk off some of this breakfast and maybe scope something out for tonight?”
Joshua and Kevin agreed, and the three began discussing where they wanted to go. Our waitress appeared again, and I signed the slip, tucking my card away. “Count me out,” I said, as I turned back to them. “If you guys don’t mind, I think I’m just going to go for a walk alone for a bit, clear my head.”
Kevin nodded his understanding. “Hit us up when you’re ready.”
We left the restaurant and parted outside the door, me heading one way while my friends waved goodbye and headed the other. I let my feet take me where they would, hardly registering the people around me or the buildings I passed. My mind was too far away, once again worrying the problem of how to find Katie, and what to say to her when I did.
I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when I found myself walking back toward the hotel. My mind was quiet, finally tired of chasing its own tail with problems there would be no solutions to until I saw my erstwhile bride. If she would even see me. It surprised me how anxious I was to know if she would agree to see me or not. It said something, I thought, that she hadn’t contacted me. Maybe it said she just wasn’t interested. Maybe it said she regretted her actions.
Maybe she’s just hungover and isn’t thinking about you at all, you self-centered dweeb, I told myself sternly. Why had it taken this long to even consider the thought that she wasn’t necessarily thinking about me? Did I really think the world revolved around me? God, I irritated myself.
I walked into the lobby and stopped short just inside the door, looking at the long reception counter. Two women, one trim and middle-aged and the other quite tall and elderly, stood behind it, talking casually with one another as people streamed past them without stopping. I smiled to myself, remembering the advice to charm the lady at the desk and ask for Katie’s room number. I’m going to try, I thought to myself. I didn’t think it would work, but even if it didn’t, I could tell my friends I gave it a good go and got nowhere. I changed my course and headed for the counter.
The middle-aged woman saw me first, giving me a bright smile as she broke away from her companion and headed for me. “Welcome to the Bellagio,” she said. “Are you checking in?”
I smiled back. “No,” I said, leaning my hip against the counter. “Well, not exactly. I’m actually already staying here.”
“Oh,” the woman said, her smile faltering for only a second. “Well, that’s wonderful. I certainly hope you’re enjoying your stay. Is there something I ca
n help you with?”
“I hope so,” I said honestly. I tried to project as much innocence as I could. “You see, I seem to have misplaced my wife’s room number, and I was hoping you could give it to me.”
The polite smile froze on her face. “Excuse me?” she asked, though I was sure she had heard me. Nonetheless, I repeated myself. She was shaking her head before I finished, her mouth pressed in a displeased line. “I’m sorry, sir, I’m not permitted to disclose that information.”
“Even though she’s my wife?” I asked, but I knew the answer even before she shook her head again. And while it was frustrating to be proven right here, I was also obscurely comforted. No one could just get to Katie. She was safe.
“Well, thanks anyway,” I said, turning around. My eyes widened and I felt my mouth drop open slightly. Directly across from me, tucked to the left of the large entrance, was an elegant seating arrangement, complete with a beautifully arranged urn of flowers. Directly behind the urn, pretending she wasn’t there, sat Katie. I thanked whatever or whoever was looking out for me. Imagine, I thought, amused. Thinking through all those fantastical scenarios just minutes ago with my friends, only to find her sitting right here, waiting for me. I turned back to the older woman at the counter, who had a smile on her lips but steel in her eyes.
“Never mind,” I said cheerfully, waving as I walked away. “I found her.” I could feel her disapproval between my shoulder blades and I knew she was watching me approach my wife with eyes that missed nothing.
I shrugged it off and turned my attention back to Katie, feasting my eyes on her like a starving man at a banquet. Was she this beautiful last night? She looked radiant to me, even though her face was pale and dark circles ringed her red-rimmed eyes. Had she been crying? The idea of it twisted my heart in my chest. Was it my fault? Did I make her cry?
Geez, dude, remember the self-centeredness? She has a whole life that has nothing to do with you.
The thought didn’t make me feel better. I was surprised by how much I wanted to be a part of her life, be involved in it and know what kinds of things would put such a haunted look in her eyes.
I drew closer to her, putting a smile on my face to avoid upsetting her further. “Well now,” I said, like this was just some crazy coincidence. Which I guessed it was, but it felt more like I had conjured her through sheer wishful thinking. “Fancy meeting you here. Should I ask if you come here often?”
She smiled weakly at my lame joke, but it was a smile, and I felt a flash of encouragement. “Hi Chris,” she said, her voice low and quiet. I stepped closer so I could hear her better over the noisy thrum of people in the cavernous room, but she stepped away just as quickly. “I was going to call you. Later. After I, uh, well -” she trailed off, obviously uncomfortable. Her fingers clenched over an old laptop computer that she held close to her side.
I tucked my hands in my pockets and leaned back on my heels, not giving up any ground but making it appear that I was backing off. It was a technique I learned on the job, a way to make skittish or shocked people let their guard down a little and feel safer. “Funny enough, I was going to call you, too,” I said, keeping my voice casual. “But then I realized I didn’t have your phone number. I don’t think I ever gave you mine, either, did I?”
She shook her head once, quickly, picking at the cuticles of one hand with the nails of the other. I noticed one finger had begun to bleed. Her obvious anxiety broke my heart, and I decided to take a risk. I reached out and laid my hand over hers, stilling it.
“Katie,” I said, my voice low and nonthreatening. “It’s okay. I won’t hurt you.”
She blinked, surprised, and looked right into my eyes for the first time in this conversation. It was all I could do to keep my feet beneath me. Her eyes were hypnotic, the pale green showing flecks of bronze and silver. I felt like I was drowning in her gaze, and I would have cheerfully gone under for the third time if it meant I could stay there all day. But the moment passed and she averted her eyes, leaving her hand in mine.
“I didn’t think you would hurt me,” she said unconvincingly. “I just, well, I don’t know how to do this. How to say this.” She huffed out an annoyed breath and met my eyes again, shyly. “I’m not used to having anything serious with a guy, you know? And this thing between us, what we did last night -”
“It’s okay, Katie,” I said again, using her name to help her feel safe. “We’ll work it out.”
She nodded, but it was clear she was distracted. “I’ve looked up the annulment process,” she blurted, then blushed. I couldn’t remember anything that had ever been more appealing than the sight of her, pink-cheeked and awkward but trying to play it cool.
“Hmm?” I said noncommittally.
She took the bait and continued, her nerves causing her to speak quickly. “Yeah, I looked it up this morning, and it doesn’t look like a hard thing to do. There’s paperwork, of course, and fees, but we can talk about all that. Mostly I just need your signature on a thousand pieces of paper.” She trailed off and looked at me, naked vulnerability in her eyes, though she tried to hide it. “The sooner we file, the better. It turns out there are a lot of idiots like us. There’s a whole section in the annulment law for people who get married when they’re too drunk to make a proper decision. The internet says annulling it is no big deal.” She paused, then added, “It will be like it never happened.” I couldn’t tell if she was saying that to me or to herself.
I wrapped myself in the icy calm I used to be effective at my job, ignoring the hot licks of panic trying to break through underneath it. “Is this what you want?” I asked, keeping my voice neutral. Please, God, let her say no. I continued without giving her a chance to answer. “I don’t know about you, but it took me a bit to remember last night, and even now I think some things are pretty spotty. But let me ask you this, Katie, and I want you to think about it awhile.” I waited until she looked up at me and asked, “Can you think of anything worth remembering last night?”
I watched the memories play over her face, from our meeting at the bar to our romp in the bathroom, to the magical moment when I asked her to be my wife and she accepted. We may have been drunk, yes, but that didn’t mean what was between us wasn’t real. That it didn’t deserve a chance to be explored. I didn’t want to lose this incredible woman because we rushed things on an impulse.
Speaking of impulses, I thought, and without second-guessing myself, I stepped forward and closed the space between us, sliding my free hand around her waist and pulling her close to me. I heard her quick intake of breath before my lips closed over hers. The effect was instant, all of my senses zeroing in on her and blocking out everything else. Her mouth moved under mine like a choreographed dance, as if she knew every move I would make and anticipated it with one of her own. She pressed herself closer to me, finally pulling her hand from mine, but only so she could slide it into my hair at the nape of my neck. She made a small sound of pleasure in her throat. I hardened, instantly and painfully, and pulled back. My breath came in huge gasps and we stared at each other, both aware that had we continued any longer we were in grave danger of having the police called on us for indecent exposure and public exhibitionism. My mouth quirked in a smile, and I saw the answering glimmer of humor in her eyes.
“Excuse me, miss?” a woman’s voice called from across the lobby. We both looked over to the check-in desk. Both women stared at us, or more specifically, they stared at Katie, with clear concern. “Are you okay?” one woman called. It was the middle-aged woman, the one I had tried to charm Katie’s room number out of. From the look she gave me now, and the way she looked at Katie, it was clear I had sent up all kinds of alarm bells with that move, and she wasn’t going to trust me now.
“Do you need help?” she persisted, taking a step forward as if to come to Katie’s assistance.
Katie shook her head and forced a smile, though I could still see her pulse thrumming at the base of her neck. God, how I wanted to lean down and kiss her
just there, feel her pounding blood under my lips. I shifted my weight slightly to turn further away from the desk. The lady already thought me a perverse reprobate. No need to confirm it.
“I’m fine,” she called back, waving her hand apologetically. “He’s fine, too. Thanks, anyway.”
The women didn’t look convinced, but they returned to their conversation. I noticed they kept a close eye on us, though.
Katie turned back to me, her cheeks flushed in that way I found irresistible. I reached up and stroked my thumb over her cheekbone. “Why don’t we give this a chance?” I asked quietly, keeping my eyes on hers. “Whatever this thing is we have between us, I wanted to see what happened before we got married. What we did last night doesn’t change that for me. I want to get to know you, Katie. I want to spend time with you. I think you’re pretty amazing, and I don’t want to lose that because we got drunk and maybe we did something foolish.”
She laughed, but there was humor in it. “Maybe?” she repeated, a smile quirking her lips. “I think if you looked up foolish in the dictionary, you’d find our wedding picture.”
“Ouch,” I said, laying my hand on my chest in feigned distress. I took comfort in the fact that she was smiling. And that she hadn’t said no. “I’m wounded, Katie. Do I strike you as a foolish man?” I made a face at her, and she laughed again. I could listen to the musical sound of her laughter all day.