In His Thoughts

by Peggy L Henderson

  Clara stared at the letters. “A stands for Amelia. It was my mother’s name, and it’s my middle name.” She smiled. “I can’t believe you kept the wrappings. I didn’t have anything else to use for bandages, and when I left camp to find you and tend to you, they were all I could find that would work to dress your wounds.”

  Ben chuckled. “When Michael found me days after I’d been shot, I didn’t remember dressing my own injuries. We couldn’t figure out why my wounds were wrapped in linen that was embroidered with the initials C-A-Y. He and his mother, Danica Osborne, teased me that perhaps I had a sweetheart. They didn’t believe me when I told them I had a guardian angel, but they’ll believe me now when I introduce you to them at our wedding.”

  Clara shook her head. A small twinge of apprehension made her heart beat faster at the word ‘wedding.’ Ben truly wanted to marry her.

  “I was so sure you’d be angry with me and would demand punishment if you found out. I’m sorry I kept the truth from you for so long, Ben.”

  Ben laughed. “Clara, I’ll repeat this for as long as I have to, until you believe me without a doubt. You saved my life. I understand the terrible circumstances you were living with before, and that you would never intentionally be a part of your uncle’s schemes.” He took hold of her hands again and stroked her knuckles gently with his thumbs.

  “What about my uncle and cousin? Max is going to cause trouble.” Just thinking about them brought trepidation to her heart, and her chest tightened. Max’s warning had been real. He would be back to cause trouble if he found out that Ben knew the truth. Ben’s hand against her cheek soothed her worries.

  “Since I now know without a doubt who the poachers were that shot me, they’re going to be brought to justice for their crimes, but that’s for another day.” He leaned forward, his eyes turning dark with love. “Fate brought us together, even if it was under unfavorable circumstances. You’ve made me the happiest man when you agreed to marry me, Clara, and I hope I can bring a little happiness into your life. I promise I’ll always be there for you and help you get through the battles inside your head.”

  Clara’s mind went blank to anything except Ben standing in front of her, the love shining in his eyes. “Since I’ve met you, I’ve been able to face each day with hope. I know it will always be a struggle for me, but you understand me and for that I will always love you.”

  Ben led her from the woods to where his horse stood grazing. He helped her into the saddle, then swung up behind her and pointed the animal in the direction of the farm. Scamp ran along in front of them, barking happily to announce their return.

  Sally stood on the porch, holding her baby in her arms. She smiled when they approached.

  “I knew you’d find her and bring her back safe and sound.” Sally beamed at Ben, then tossed a questioning look at Clara.

  “I’m sorry for causing you to worry.” Clara headed up the porch after Ben helped her from the horse.

  “No one got hurt, that’s the important thing,” Ben said. “Besides, we have some news to share.” He grinned at Clara. The happiness he couldn’t hide was infectious. Despite her pounding heart that he was about to reveal their engagement, Clara smiled.

  The front door opened at that moment, and Ethan stepped out. “Did I hear someone has news? I can’t imagine what it might be.” He and his wife exchanged a knowing smile. Ethan stepped up beside Sally and draped his arm around her shoulder, drawing her closer. “I’m guessing there’s going to be a celebration of some sort.”

  Ben nodded. “I asked Clara to marry me, and she agreed.”

  Ethan stepped forward and shook Ben’s hand. Sally wrapped her arm around Clara in an embrace. Clara stepped back quickly for fear the baby would get smothered.

  “I’m so happy for you two. Ellie and Lance tied the knot a few months ago. We’re due for another wedding. It’ll be exciting to start the planning.”

  Ben cleared his throat. “Don’t jump into the planning so fast, Sally.” He glanced at Clara. “If Clara’s agreeable, I’d like to have the wedding somewhere other than my farm.”

  Sally clapped her hands together. “Excellent idea! We’ll have the wedding and celebration right here.” Her eyes shot to her husband. “I’m sure Trace, Cade, Levi, and Lance would be happy to help prepare with setting up tables and such, and their wives and I will take care of the food preparations.”

  Clara scrunched her forehead. The notion of an elaborate wedding where people would stare at her was rather unnerving and brought the same tightening to her chest as when she’d been on display during Uncle Eli’s sales show. “There’s no need for an extravagant wedding, Ben.” Her eyes went to Sally. “Or for you to go out of your way to plan anything.”

  Ben took her hand and faced her fully. “The commanding officer at Fort Yellowstone extended an invitation to me to come and tour the park, ‘for old time’s sake’, as he put it.” He held both of her hands and smiled at her. “He was sorry he had to let me go, but it is army regulations. With my crippled leg, I wasn’t able to serve fully.” He glanced up briefly to look from Sally to Ethan, then his eyes were back on Clara. “I’d like you to come with me, Clara. Would you like to see the Yellowstone, under different circumstances than before?” He smiled, and his voice rose with enthusiasm. “It’s like no other place you’ve ever seen, and I can’t think of a more perfect place to make you my wife.”

  “A fabulous idea,” Sally said beside them.

  “Don’t you have supper to check on, Sally?” Ethan nudged his wife toward the front door. “And I’ll take the baby while you do.” He grinned and nodded at Ben, then ushered his wife into the house.

  “Yellowstone?” Clara stared at Ben. It was clear to see in his eyes and from the way he spoke of it, he loved the area and his former life as a soldier.

  Ben wrapped his arms around her. A worried expression passed over his face. “Is the thought of returning to the area making you anxious? I can see it in your eyes.”

  She shook her head. This would be different than the last time she’d been in the land of hot springs and mud pools that would boil a man to death in an instant. Clara swallowed back her apprehension and growing anxiety. Ben tightened his hold on her. He tenderly kissed the top of her head. “I don’t want this to cause you any worry, and if you’d rather not go at all, I’ll understand.”

  Looking up into his sincere eyes and focusing on the love displayed there, the fear evaporated. There was nothing Ben had ever done or would ever do to deliberately feed her panic.

  Clara raised her head and leaned forward, touching her lips to his. Today was the beginning of a new life for her. Ben had made it possible for her to be happy and not constantly dwell on the fears that consumed her.

  “You are the kindest and most honorable man I know, and if that is where you want to marry me, then I would love to begin our lives together in the Yellowstone that is in your heart.”

  “You are now man and wife.” The chaplain smiled and nodded at Ben, then at Clara. “You may kiss your bride.”

  Ben, looking dashing in his crisp army uniform, leaned forward and drew her into his arms. Clara closed her eyes and returned the kiss, savoring his sweet and tender touch. Forgotten were all the people watching, even as loud cheers and clapping erupted around them. Too soon, her new husband drew back, his bright smile warming her heart.

  They faced the onlookers who had gathered in the chapel at Fort Yellowstone to witness their marriage. In the front row sat Ethan with his children. Behind them were the new friends she’d met in Elk Lodge – Jack and Laura Kincaid, Levi and Grace Colter, Trace and Katie Hawley, and Lance and Ellie Taggart. Michael Osborne had stood as best man beside Ben, and Sally smiled brightly as her matron of honor.

  Captain Harris and several of Ben’s former comrades congratulated them as Ben led her down the aisle and out the chapel. Bright sunlight greeted them. The lawns around the officer’s quarters and the chapel at Fort Yellowstone were impeccably groomed, quite un
like the rest of the area with its rugged mountains. A short distance away was a mountain that looked almost white, but it wasn’t a mountain at all. Ben had explained that it was one of the thermal features in the area called Mammoth Hot Springs.

  “We’ll go tour the area tomorrow,” he’d whispered in her ear. First, a banquet was planned to celebrate the wedding. Sally, along with the other ladies, had managed to arrange for a grand feast after all, despite the wedding being so far away from their home.

  “The soldiers deserve a little lavishness, don’t you think?” she’d said after announcing that she’d obtained the go-ahead from the captain. “Along with the cook at the fort, Laura, Katie, Ellie, Grace, and I will come up with something simple. Even Dani Osborne said she would help.”

  Ethan had rolled his eyes. “Nothing’s ever simple when you plan a party, Sally.”

  Tables and chairs had been set up on one side of the parade grounds, and Ben led Clara to their designated place. He pulled out a chair for her to sit when the sound of gunshots reverberated through the valley. Soldiers immediately sprang into action, led by young Michael Osborne. Seconds later, he galloped past them on his horse.

  Ben gripped Clara’s hand, his entire body tense. She looked up at the concerned look in his eyes, coupled with an eagerness to join the soldiers in their investigation.

  “What do you suppose is going on?”

  “I don’t know. I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.”

  Sally and Ethan joined them moments later. Everyone eagerly awaited news of what could have caused the commotion.

  A lone rider came galloping toward them. Ben stepped in front of Clara. Seconds later, he relaxed.

  “Osborne, what’s going on?”

  Michael Osborne’s horse came to a skidding halt in front of Ben, kicking up dust. The boy’s chest heaved as he tried to catch his breath.

  “We got them. We got the poachers.”

  Ben’s head snapped around to stare at Clara for a second, then back to Michael.

  “Several soldiers and I had them in our sights. They were watching the fort when the soldier on watch spotted them.” Michael spoke fast while gulping for air. “They both took off running, the stupid bast . . . sorry.” He shot a quick glance at Clara. “They both took off running, straight into the hot springs when we surrounded them. Neither one of them apparently saw the pool they fell into.” He slowed his speech, then glanced at Clara again. Clearly, he wanted to make his description more graphic, but with her standing there, he lowered his voice to a whisper and kept it to a minimum. “There’s nothing left of them.”

  “Thanks, Michael.” Ben stepped up and held out his hand to the young scout. “I need a few minutes alone with Clara.”

  Michael glanced at her again, then nodded and turned his horse around. He galloped off in the direction from where he’d come.

  Ben reached for Clara’s hands. He didn’t smile as he led her away from the other people. “Clara, the poachers Michael was talking about were your uncle and cousin.”

  Clara’s eyes widened. Somehow, it didn’t come as a surprise. Uncle Eli had always said he had to come back to Yellowstone to get an elk, and also water from the hot springs for his elixir. Perhaps he and Max had been following her all along.

  “I’m so sorry.” Ben squeezed her hands, then pulled her into an embrace.

  Clara clung to him. Tears fell. They fell for her relatives, and especially her mother. Uncle Eli had caused so much pain to so many people.

  “It’s over,” she said simply.

  “It’s over. I’m sorry it had to end this way for them. They could have gone to jail for their crimes. I don’t want you to dwell on this.” Concern flooded his eyes.

  Clara smiled at him. “I will always have something to fret about, Ben Ferguson. I told you I was broken, but you wanted to marry me anyway. I love you, and because I know you love me, my path will be much easier.”

  Ben’s arms clamped around her waist, and he lifted her off the ground. “You’re anything but broken, Clara, and you can rest assured that whenever fear grabs hold of your mind, I’ll be there to help you chase it away. You’re my guardian angel, after all, and we depend on each other,” he murmured against her ear. “Every moment from now until eternity, you will always be in my heart and in my thoughts.”

  Epilogue

  One year later…

  * * *

  Ben held Clara’s hand while using his cane in the other as they walked along the pasture fence. Crickets chirped in the early evening air, and the last rays of the sun cast a golden glow on the lush grasses, the barn, and the surrounding hills. Horses snorted and moved about in the pastures, some with foals at their sides, swishing their tails at the evening bugs.

  A gentle breeze tickled her cheeks, and Clara sighed as she lifted her face, closed her eyes, and smiled.

  “You’re mighty content this evening, Mrs. Ferguson.” Ben gave her hand a light squeeze.

  “What’s not to be content about?” Clara opened her eyes and cast a soft smile at her husband. It was true. Peace and relaxation enveloped her. Her free hand caressed her swollen abdomen.

  Ben must have seen her movement. He stopped walking and released the hand he’d been holding. His palm covered her other hand over her belly.

  “Not much longer.” She smiled.

  He grinned. “And Millie is here to make sure everything goes smoothly. Of course, Sally and your other lady friends won’t be far away, either.”

  Clara nodded. “I’m so glad your father and step-mother came to visit.”

  Ben chuckled. “Millie wouldn’t miss the birth of my father’s grandchild for the world. Besides, we’re all benefitting from her great cooking.”

  Clara narrowed her eyes and cast him a sideways glance. “Are you saying that my cooking isn’t up to snuff?”

  Ben tugged on the fabric of her dress and pulled her as close as her wide girth would allow. “Your cooking suits me just fine.” He leaned forward to plant a kiss on her lips.

  Truth be told, it was wonderful to have Gus Ferguson and his wife here at the farm. They’d come all the way from Kentucky to visit, and there was the added benefit that Millie was a skilled cook and she’d also been a midwife. The older Ferguson had a wealth of knowledge to share with Ben about the horse breeding business, and it was clear to see where Ben had learned all of what he already knew.

  After Ben and Clara had returned from Yellowstone, his adoptive brother, Sam Hawley, had sent a dozen mares that had been bred to his fine Kentucky stallion last summer. Most of the mares had foaled already, and the last three were due any day.

  Just like me.

  She smiled. It was hard not to smile these days. She’d never thought it possible to be this happy. Ben doted on her and spoiled her, and whenever she complained about it, he kissed her until they both laughed.

  “I love spoiling you. It makes me happy to see you happy.”

  “Being happy doesn’t mean you have to spoil me.”

  “I don’t give you lavish gifts and dress you in the latest fashions, Mrs. Ferguson. I don’t spoon feed you or give in to your every whim.”

  Clara had giggled at his words. “If that’s what you want to do with a wife, you should have married Frances Halverston.”

  Ben had made a face as if he’d bitten into a lemon. “I would never be content with a wife like that.”

  “She’s still looking for a husband from what I hear.”

  “It’s no wonder. What man would put up with her?”

  Clara had shrugged. “I’m sure she’ll find the right man someday.”

  “I feel sorry for the fella already.”

  Ben took Clara’s hand again, and they continued walking. “Do you want to go back to the house?”

  Clara shook her head. “I’m enjoying the time out here with you. It’s a nice evening for a walk. Millie said it was good for me to walk.”

  “You’d better do what she says.”

  They walked in
silence for a few minutes, then Ben stopped again and faced her. The sun had nearly disappeared.

  “You haven’t had any bad episodes lately,” he remarked. “Or if you have, you’ve kept them hidden from me.”

  Clara gazed up into his serious eyes. “I haven’t had one. I still have my moments of anxiousness when my heart races, but it’s nothing I can’t handle these days. It passes rather quickly.”

  “What are you worried about when it happens?”

  Over the year since they’d married, Ben had been sensitive to her bouts of panic and episodes of unexplainable fear better than she had. He’d always diverted her attention when she became quiet and shaky, just before the fear started to engulf her. It usually worked to take her mind off things, and the fear passed. Her moments of extreme fear and terror had lessened over the months, and the last one she’d experienced had been early in her pregnancy.

  Clara shrugged. It was difficult to put into words what scared and worried her, but Ben always pressed for her to try to tell him what was on her mind during those times.

  “I worry about the future, and about the baby. Will he or she be healthy, and will I be a good mother. Things of that nature.”

  “I know it’s pointless for me to tell you that your worries are unfounded. You’re going to be a great mother, you’re doing everything you can to make sure our baby will be healthy, and at the moment, there’s nothing I can see that would be worrisome about our future.”

  Clara nodded. He was right, and he was the most wonderful man for not thinking less of her because of her fears. He never put her down for having anxious thoughts, and simply reminded her that all was well.

  He kissed her again.

  “What is on your mind?” she asked as they walked back to the house in silence.

  “You are. You, Clara Ferguson, are always and forever on my mind and in my thoughts.”

  Thank you for purchasing and reading IN HIS THOUGHTS. I hope you enjoyed the story. To help other readers such as yourself discover new books, please consider leaving a short review.