Outbreak Company: Volume 11

by Ichiro Sakaki

  “Taking photos with a 3TS is old news,” Loek proclaimed. “The future belongs to digital cameras!” He laughed proudly. Romilda, for her part, looked sullen.

  Sigh... Here we go again, I thought dejectedly.

  Elves and dwarves were traditionally not very friendly with each other. To the elves, dwarves were “shortstacks” and “soil-sniffers,” while the dwarves thought the elves were “wispy softies” and “airheads.”

  And Loek and Romilda? They fought even more than most elves and dwarves. They were basically the leaders of the elven and dwarven contingents in the classroom, respectively, and as the spokespeople for the other students they often clashed. It didn’t usually escalate to physical violence, and I didn’t think the antagonism between them really ran that deep, but they could always be counted on to find a flashpoint.

  Still, for as often as they argued, they worked together just as frequently. So I was convinced it wasn’t actually a bad relationship—it might even have been one of those “the more you fight, the closer you are” things. After all, no one would go out of their way to talk so much to someone they really hated, right?

  “Grrr...” Romilda reached out and pressed the switch on the digital camera. Dedicated cameras have a lot in common with the 3TS these days in terms of button placement and functions, so she probably just did it intuitively.

  I was just looking at them with a wry smile when—

  “Hrm?” Romilda suddenly stopped grumbling.

  “What’s up?” I tried to squeeze close enough to get a peek at the camera myself. Then my voice escaped me of its own accord: “Ohhh! That’s...!”

  The LCD screen displayed a woman’s chest—a close-up, at that. Two generous lumps only barely hidden beneath a tank top. They looked soft enough to make you want to bury your face in that sweet valley, all of it reflected in glorious high definition...!

  Incredible. Truly a photographic masterpiece.

  Without meaning to, I found myself staring fixedly at the screen.

  “Listen, you...” Romilda didn’t seem very impressed by the picture. She pointed an accusing finger at the screen.

  “Huh? Oh, uh—” It was only just dawning on Loek what the camera must be showing. He scrambled to turn the device back around and hid the screen with his hand. “It’s not— This is— Uh...!”

  “You pervert! That’s Minori-sensei, and I know it!”

  “W-Well, uh...” Loek was still struggling for words.

  It didn’t really matter. This was pretty clearly Minori-san, our resident WAC and my bodyguard, and the possessor of boobs so stunning they couldn’t be mistaken for anyone else’s, even in a close-up like this.

  The real problem was that this picture was obviously a sneak shot. I didn’t know how he managed it with a bulky, conspicuous DSLR—maybe they used a long-range lens or something. Whatever the case, it was obvious this wasn’t just some “Oops, I was playing with my camera and the shutter went off” picture.

  “You perverted elf!”

  “St-Stoppit, don’t get violent—!” Romilda had her dukes up; Loek shook his head and held up his palms. “You should be ashamed of yourself! Taking a picture like this without permission!”

  Uh, Romilda... You and the whole class just snapped a picture of me without asking.

  Once again I suppressed the comeback. I got that taking pictures of men and of women were different problems. I promise I did.

  “You sit down,” Romilda said. “I’m going to erase that picture.”

  “Yipes!”

  Recognizing that they were past the point where discussion would do any good, Loek yelped and ran away. Romilda chased him out of the classroom with a cry of “Hold it right there!”

  Ahem. Uh, kids? We’re still in the middle of class...

  Just as I was having that thought, though, the bell rang.

  Oh, for...

  “I’ll bet Minori-san would be awful peeved if she saw that...”

  Not that I didn’t understand the impulse to take that photo, but sneaking pictures of people was just not cool. I would have to make sure all the students, Loek included, understood that. Since the idea of photographs hadn’t existed in Eldant until just the other day, there weren’t any laws against secretly photographing anyone, or even necessarily a sense that it was a bad thing to do. I guess it would take someone from Japan to set them straight.

  “Shinichi-san,” someone said from the door of the classroom.

  I looked over and saw a precious young girl dressed in a Gothic-loli outfit.

  Well, let me be more precise. I saw someone who looked like a precious young girl. But I knew “she” was no lady. As convincing as she looked, that was actually a man. Specifically, it was Ayasaki Hikaru-san, my assistant at Amutech and a teacher at the school just like me.

  “What’s up?” I asked.

  “I wanted to ask you something about teaching.” He came over to me, his long, black hair flowing and his steps as graceful as a movie star’s. Man, he was drop-dead gorgeous. His appearance was so meticulous that he didn’t have to strike a pose or anything—he looked like he had come straight out of a painting whether he was sitting down or standing around. The hem of his skirt bobbed each time he moved, revealing glimpses of white leg that were downright scandalous. It almost seemed outrageous to think that he had the same thing between his legs that I did.

  I wondered what he wanted...

  “I was thinking maybe we could use this for our next in-class material,” Hikaru-san said, and passed me some papers he was holding.

  At that instant, I heard the classroom fill with the sound of shutters again. Everyone was taking pictures of Hikaru-san. They were so into taking photos that they were even happy to take pictures of me, a person with no distinguishing beauty or exotic costumes. Once someone as glamorous as Hikaru-san turned up, of course they would want to take his picture.

  I glanced at the papers and nodded. “Yeah, I think that should be fine.”

  Hikaru-san, though, frowned, not saying anything. The camera clicks filled the silence. The students’ gazes, like the camera lenses, remained steadfastly on Hikaru-san.

  “Would you quit it already?!”

  Bam! The lectern shook—because Hikaru-san had suddenly smacked it with an open palm.

  I found myself shivering to hear him raise his voice. The students looked just as startled, all of them frozen, still holding up their 3TSes. Boy, he must have really shocked them. Hikaru-san was typically a pretty calm talker; he very rarely shouted. But now...

  “It’s every day with you people! Give it a rest!” He wheeled on the students, then took a deep breath. “You shouldn’t take a ’layer’s picture without their permission!” He spoke so forcefully that if this had been a manga, there would have been a big ba-duuum sound effect above him.

  “Are you really cosplaying, or just... in girl clothes?”

  I hadn’t meant to contradict him. Luckily for Hikaru-san, he wasn’t intimidated; he fixed his glare on me instead and said, “Shinichi-san, I really don’t think that’s relevant right now.”

  “Er, you’re right, sorry.”

  Yikes. He was seriously mad.

  Maybe the sight of me falling silent cooled him off a little, because Hikaru-san cleared his throat gently and turned back to the students. With his hands on his hips, he said, “I haven’t said anything before, because I figured you weren’t hurting anyone. But the picture-taking just gets worse and worse every day! I can’t take it anymore! I understand how much fun new toys can be, but have a little respect!”

  Oof. Talk about laying down the law.

  Realizing that his anger wasn’t directed at me, I was able to take a step back and look at the situation objectively. Hikaru-san’s good looks were imposing enough—having him shout at you would make anyone freeze.

  “There’s an etiquette to taking photographs!” Hikaru-san snatched a piece of chalk and started writing on the blackboard: Image-use Rights.

  ...
Er, ahem, Hikaru-san. I really don’t think they’ll be able to just jump right into the deep end like that.

  Not only was the Holy Eldant Empire not a constitutional government, it was proudly a dictatorship; I didn’t think talk of individual rights was going to get very far. Heck, when I had arrived, they didn’t even seem to have had a concept of equality.

  In spite of all of these considerations, I was far too chicken to bring those points up with Hikaru-san when he was this angry.

  “Talk to a ’layer before you shoot! Above all, respect image-use rights and don’t take photos without—”

  “Imm-age use rights?”

  “What are those?”

  “It means that pictures of a photographic subject who hasn’t given their consent are unauthorized, and—”

  “Un-author-izzed?”

  “Photo-grafic subject?”

  Ahhh... Just as I had suspected.

  All the students looked at Hikaru-san blankly. I could hear the anger draining from his voice as he saw how they were reacting. It was easy to stay angry if the other person talked back or ignored you, but when they didn’t even understand what you were angry about... well, it was like throwing a ball to someone who wasn’t ready to catch it. Even Hikaru-san could see how much work this was going to be.

  “What I’m saying is...!”

  He persisted in his attempt to explain photography etiquette. But by the time the bell rang for the start of class, the students didn’t seem to understand any better than before, not even when Romilda came in dragging Loek by the collar.

  After class, I jumped in a bird-drawn carriage and headed for the beating heart of this country—Eldant Castle. I had received an urgent summons from the empress. She had sent knights directly to the school; they asked for me by name and said, “Her Majesty is calling for you.”

  This was pretty unusual. I was in the habit of appearing at the castle before going to school in order to update the empress on the state of Amutech’s affairs and educational initiatives, but it had been a while since I had gone to the castle after class. And she had sent knights personally to get me. Anything that wasn’t pressing could have waited until the next morning. So what had happened? I rode along, feeling anxious...

  Hikaru-san, sitting across from me, sighed. He was leaning his elbow against the window of the passenger compartment, watching the scenery go by with a long face. It actually looked perfect considering his Gothic loli outfit, but never mind that.

  “Is, er, something wrong?”

  I wasn’t the one who asked the question. Instead, it came from the maid sitting beside me.

  Well, to be fair, she wasn’t in her maid uniform right now, but in traveling clothes.

  Myusel Fourant: flaxen-haired, violet-eyed, the very picture of innocence and sweetness. She worked as a maid at our mansion, and was the first “other-worlder” I’d met when I got here. Because she spent so much time with us, she had picked up Japanese pretty quickly, and even helped teach at the school sometimes.

  “Are you feeling poorly?” Myusel asked, leaning toward Hikaru-san. The movement made her twintails bob.

  “No, not at all,” Hikaru-san said, shaking his head. Then he went back to gazing mournfully out the window. When he realized Myusel and I were still looking at him, he straightened up and shifted in his seat. “I was just thinking about the students and their photographs.”

  “Oh, that.”

  The comment, delivered with a sort of wry smile... once again didn’t come from me. It was Koganuma Minori-san, sitting next to Hikaru-san. Yes—the WAC with the great rack that you’ve already heard about in connection with Loek’s photograph.

  She wore glasses and had her black hair tied up in a bun behind her head. She looked like she wouldn’t hurt a fly, let alone send you flying. But in reality, she was one onee-san who could be really scary if you ticked her off... Er, I mean, who was very good to have on your side.

  How nervy was she? Let me put it this way: she once round-house-kicked an actual dragon.

  Incidentally, ever since she rescued him by doing that, Loek had thought she was the bee’s knees. (Note: dead slang.)

  “They got a few shots of you, huh, Hikaru-kun?”

  “Yeah...”

  “I get that they enjoy it, but they’ve sort of been overdoing it juuust a little lately.” Minori-san shrugged.

  Hikaru-san isn’t the only one they got a photo of, I thought, before forcing the words back down. Minori-san probably wouldn’t get upset to know Loek had taken a picture of her—but a close-up of her boobs? That would be a different story. Despite being the owner of an absolutely wicked pair of Mount Fujis, Minori-san herself wasn’t always happy about the body she had.

  Er, anyway...

  “You can’t just take pictures without permission,” Hikaru-san was saying. “A ’layer definitely has to give their okay. Even with non-’layers, it’s only polite to ask.”

  “Uh-huh, uh-huh.” Minori-san nodded in agreement. She had some cosplaying experience herself, so they were probably on the same page.

  As for me, as much as I considered myself a well-rounded otaku, I had zero experience doing cosplay, and had never been to a photo session or anything. Of course I had seen lots of cosplayers at Comiket and wherever else, and I had put on a costume when we were doing the movie here in Eldant, but that was about it. So I didn’t know much about etiquette and customs when it came to the cosplay industry (if that was what you could call it).

  Naturally, neither did Myusel...

  “Is that so?” she asked, tilting her head inquisitively, just like a little bird might do. It was such a cute, innocent gesture that I immediately felt the moe-ness flaring within me... but, uh, never mind.

  “There’s nothing wrong with taking a picture,” Hikaru-san said, sighing again. “I just... wish they’d ask, you know?”

  “I would be very pleased to have Master take my picture,” Myusel offered.

  “Shinichi-san,” Hikaru-san said, fixing me with a stare. “You haven’t been taking photos of Myusel just because you know she won’t say anything, have you?”

  “N—No! No, I haven’t!”

  Okay, so I had some pictures of her that I took back before she really knew what a photograph was. But I had never sneaked any pictures of her... I thought.

  “Hmm...” As I felt myself threatening to hyperventilate, Hikaru-san only narrowed his eyes further.

  Aargh! He doesn’t believe me?!

  “Well, whatever. The point is, the kids have been going overboard lately.” Hikaru-san shrugged. “I don’t mind if they take my picture. But they have to learn to be polite about it.”

  “I guess we should have taught them a little more about how photographs work before things got to this point,” Minori-san said, crossing her arms.

  As I mentioned, cameras and photography were completely new here in Eldant. The main way to preserve an image of something around here was to paint a picture of it. There was also magic that would allow you to freeze a scene or picture of someone in a crystal ball, but crystal balls were expensive, and using magic meant taking the time and concentration to chant the incantation. It wasn’t very precise.

  There was nothing quite like photography, where you just took out the camera and produced a picture. Much like in modern-day Japan, things had to be accessible if they were going to become a fad. And if a camera had one advantage over painting and magic, it was ease of use.

  But that same accessibility meant it could spread widely—and I hadn’t understood the trouble this could cause. The rules people voluntarily submitted to in order to prevent arguments—in other words, manners—didn’t spread nearly as fast as the cameras.

  “I guess you have to really think before you bring something like this in,” I said. I was partly talking to myself, but in the corner of my eye I could see Hikaru-san look away uncomfortably.

  I was sure he still remembered. He couldn’t have forgotten the problems that had followed when he ha
d tried to introduce card games and ero games here.

  When you introduce a stimulus to people who aren’t used to it, such as a new form of entertainment, it’s all too easy for them to lose their self-control and become addicted. Some students had gone nuts on the card games, spending copious amounts of money in pursuit of strong cards. As for the ero game, we ended up with one guy who locked himself in the bathroom all day to play it.

  So entertainment had the potential to be really dangerous. The people here didn’t have much knowledge or experience yet when it came to these things, so it was important for us, the suppliers, to be careful. We couldn’t predict everything that might happen, but we had to keep our eyes out for any potential problems and nip them in the bud, lest we wind up with another catastrophe on our hands.

  “We can’t just try to pound etiquette into their heads, though,” Minori-san said. “It would never stick.”

  I agreed. “What if we... hmm. Maybe we could do a photography class or something. And we could teach them about etiquette at the same time.”

  “Just as a little aside, huh?” Hikaru-san smiled without much conviction. “You’re right, though, that might be the most practical thing.”

  “Okay, Shinichi-kun, we’ll leave it to you to come up with the details.” Minori-san bowed to me with a hint of exaggerated politeness.

  “Huh? You want me to do it?”

  “Well, it was your idea.”

  “Er... Well, yeah, but...”

  “Ahem... Shinichi-sama, if there’s anything I can do to help, I’ll be happy to do it,” Myusel said. She was so thoughtful.

  Okay, well, I could probably pull this off somehow. I could get Satou-san to teach me the basics of photography. And I could quiz Minori-san and Hikaru-san on exactly what etiquette I should teach. All I would have to do would be to come up with the overall outline of the course.

  “We’ve arrived,” the coachman said, interrupting my thoughts. The carriage pulled up in front of Eldant Castle.

  Meeting Her Majesty the Empress in Eldant Castle meant going to the audience chamber. That only made sense, both from the perspective of Her Majesty’s safety and this country’s social-class system, but interestingly, there were several different audience chambers in the castle, and which one was used depended on who was visiting and what the situation was.