Inked (Going All the Way, 1)

by Jenika Snow

  She had been trying to think about how she was going to tell her dad about this, because it was going to seem like she had been lying to him about not wanting Cadeon. She may have wanted him, but when she had gone to see him, it really had been strictly about the tattoo. But she hadn’t told anyone yet, because she knew she had to talk to Cadeon and see where he actually saw this—whatever this was—going between them.

  If he only wanted her on the side as a piece of ass, then she would need to tell him she wasn’t even going to go there with him. She wasn’t a club whore, and if she agreed to something like that, then she would be no better than they were.

  She looked around her living room, although everything was already straightened up. Working part-time at a consulting firm as a receptionist, and the other part-time at the club balancing their accounts payable and received, she wasn’t at home a whole lot. Her house was sparse in the furnishings department, but she wanted to be in the comfort of her own home when she and Cadeon had this talk.

  A glance at the clock showed he would be there any minute. She looked at the breakfast bar, saw the two boxes of pizza and the case of beer, and couldn’t help snorting in amused embarrassment. When she asked him to dinner, she had every intention of attempting to make him a meal, or at the very least ordering something that didn’t come in a cardboard box.

  Of course her day had been hectic at work and then at the clubhouse, and the only thing she had time for was making the phone call for the pizza and stopping by the gas station for the beer. Well, she tried, but tonight was more about what in the hell was going on between them and not so much about what they would eat. Stella didn’t even think she could eat anything, what with her stomach in knots.

  The sound of a Harley started a small distance away, and even though she hadn’t looked out the window, she just knew it was Cadeon. The rumbling of the engine came closer, and that had her heart beating faster. When the sound of the bike was right in her driveway, she moved to the living room window and pushed back the drapes.

  She didn’t want to look like a freak peeking at him through the window, but she honestly hadn’t been able to help herself, and, well, she supposed she wanted to make sure her gut was right and it wasn’t actually her father or a club member who had shown up.

  She let the curtain fall back in place but still stared out the window. Cadeon climbed off his big-ass Harley, one that was a monster of a machine, but one he looked damn good on. He wore a pair of dark jeans that were loose but fit him well enough that it didn’t hide the raw power that made him up.

  He was once again wearing a T-shirt, this one just as dark as his jeans. Since she had first met him three years ago, she didn’t think he ever wore anything aside from those two pieces of clothing. She had never seen him in a suit or even a button-down shirt. He took off his helmet but left his sunglasses on.

  The sun was already setting on the horizon, and there was a pink/orange hue that covered the Colorado sky.

  Stella moved away from the window when he started for her front door, but strangely she was suddenly not as nervous as she had been. She knew she should be, because what they were talking about was certainly nothing short of very, very important. He knocked on the door three times, and she turned and looked at it.

  She was in the living room, but her open floorplan had the kitchen, dining room, front foyer, and living room all viewable from any point of the room. She smoothed her sweaty hands on her skirt and suddenly felt silly for trying to dress up. But a jean skirt and blouse wasn’t really dressy—at least she tried to tell herself that.

  Before he had to start knocking again, she moved quickly toward the front door and opened it. Although she might have just seen him through the window, it still took her a moment to absorb everything that made up Cadeon Morris.

  The brightly colorful tattoos covering his arms stood out against the material of his shirt, but all she could picture was all the ink that was hidden beneath it. The boots he wore looked nothing short of the shit-kicker variety, and when she looked into his face, she saw he wore this grin that had all of her girly parts clenching in need.

  “You going to let me in or eye-fuck me all day, girl?” His voice was so damn deep and masculine, and even with his crude attitude and coarse words, Stella was still a mush of emotions and want for him. It was like she hadn’t been with him at all, let alone two days ago.

  Her cheeks heated, not because of his use of the phrase “eye-fuck”—she had heard much worse—but because he had seen her blatantly checking him out. She moved to the side. “Sorry.” She smiled and chuckled, but it came out awkward-sounding.

  He stepped inside, but just as he passed her, she noticed his grin spread, and she narrowed her eyes. She shut the door and leaned back on it. Cadeon walked forward a few more steps, and she watched in silence as he checked out her place. She leaned away from the door to stay out of the way. If he flat-out told her that he only wanted her for an easy lay, she could tell him to fuck off and kick his ass out of her house. “Cadeon….”

  He turned around slowly and lifted his hand to remove his sunglasses. His blue eyes were almost eerie in their shade, but he had them fixed right on her, and she felt as if she had nothing on. That was how penetrating Cadeon’s stare was, and it had always been that way. He took a step toward her, and she pressed her back against the door once more. When she felt the heat from his body spear right into her, she sucked in a deep breath.

  God, he smelled good, like something manly with a touch of spicy cologne. What sucked was she felt even more uncomfortable since having sex with him than she did before. This man knew every part of her intimately, had licked every inch of her body until she had come undone for him. And right now, he was making her feel so vulnerable in the most delicious of ways.

  “Why are you so nervous around me, Stella?” He took another step closer. If she would have taken a deep breath, their chests would have touched. “You have no reason to be so uncomfortable.” He placed a hand on the door right by her head and leaned in so their faces were only an inch apart from one another. “Baby, there isn’t any reason to be scared around me.” He lowered his gaze, and she knew he could see right down her shirt. “I’ve seen every glorious inch of you.” When he pressed his lower body into her belly, she gasped at the thick erection he already sported. “I’ve tasted the most intimate parts of you.” He ground his stiff cock into her. “I’ve been hard ever since you walked out of my shop two days ago.” He was looking back at her face once more, but his eyes were trained on her lips.

  “Why wouldn’t I be nervous having you all in my personal space like this?” Her voice sounded distant and soft.

  He slowly lifted his gaze to hers and grinned. “Stella, you think I know you don’t secretly love that I’m all up in your… personal space?” He cocked a dark eyebrow.

  The man had a way with words that had her nipples hardening and her pussy becoming wet in one second flat. “You’re so cocky.” When he lifted his other hand and ran the pad of his thumb along her bottom lip, she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer.

  “You like that I’m cocky.” He pressed his dick into her belly again and again until she bit her bottom lip to stop from moaning.

  His attitude should have made her pissed, but dammit she grew wetter.

  “I bet you’d really like it if I had my cock inside you right now.”

  She placed her hands on his chest and felt his hard, defined pecs flex under her palms. For a second, all she could do was stare at him. He refused to move, and although all she wanted to do was get naked and forget about talking, they needed to talk. Sex wasn’t the answer, even if it did sound like the perfect solution to a tricky situation. “We need to talk.” She applied pressure to his chest and pushed, but he was like a wall of steel in front of her.

  “Baby, we can talk, while you’re under me and I have my dick deep inside that sweet pussy of yours.” He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, but she wasn’t going to let every
thing that happened and what they needed to discuss be swept under the rug.

  She applied pressure to his chest again and turned her head so their lips broke apart. That had been a hard feat, but gauging how thick he was coming on, she felt this sting of disappointment move through her. Maybe all he did want from her was some easy ass? Once more, she pushed at the wall of his chest, and fortunately he took a step back from her.

  “What’s wrong? Your tattoo okay and healing good?” He looked down at her with this confused look on his face, as if he genuinely didn’t understand why she was pushing him away.

  “Are you serious right now?”

  He knitted his brows and ran a hand over his jaw. It looked like he hadn’t shaved since the last time she saw him. The scruffy look suited him very well.

  “My tattoo is fine.”

  “Then why push me away?” He stepped forward again and grinned. It was one of those smiles that probably had a lot of women dropping their pants and underwear, turning around, and grabbing their ankles.

  “Cadeon, I’m serious. Stop.”

  He stopped, took several steps back, and furrowed his brow.

  “How can you come over here after what happened at the shop—it’s only been two days—and act like I’m just going to put out?” She stared at him, expecting him to say something, but the seconds ticked by, and all he did was stare at her in return. “Don’t you think we should talk about what in the hell happened?”

  He turned away from her and ran a hand over his short dark hair. She heard him exhale and wondered what he was thinking about.

  “You’re right. Jumping on you like that was a fucked-up thing to do.” He turned around, but he seemed really tense. “But look at you.”

  She glanced down at herself.

  “You look really hot, and… well….”

  She glanced up at him and then looked at his erection that made this massive bulge at the crotch of his pants.

  “I only have to look at you and I’m hard as steel.”

  A tingle settled between her thighs, but she pushed the need to go to him and let him pound the hell out of her—because the look on his face told her that was exactly what he wanted to do to her. They needed to talk about this.

  “And we do need to talk, but when I look at you…” When he lowered his eyes down the length of her body and brought them back up, Stella had to force herself not to be the one to jump him. “I can’t control myself. It may have only been two days, but Stella, fucking hell was it painful not being with you.”

  Her heart thundered in her chest. Never had anyone spoken to her so passionately, but she could tell in his voice that he wasn’t just talking about sex. “Me too, but I want to talk about what we did, and what will—”

  “Happen?”

  She nodded when he finished her sentence. “Yeah. I mean…” She sighed and looked at her feet. “I just want to know if what you said back at the shop was true.” She forced herself to look in his face, even though she felt way out of her element right now. She had never had a conversation like this before, had never needed to. Having sex with Cadeon—to her at least—wasn’t just something to pass the time. Of course there had been this voice inside her that said he was much older, more experienced, and that being with him didn’t mean she was in any kind of relationship.

  Then there was the situation with his connection with the Vicious Bastards, and how if something more was to come out of them having sex, how in the hell was she supposed to tell her father and the guys? Surely, they would be overly protective, like they always were, and she really didn’t want to have to explain herself or her feelings. But that was a necessary evil, and she just hoped that once they knew how she felt, they would respect her feelings for Cadeon and not kick his ass. But she was jumping the gun, because first they had to have this conversation.

  “Come on, let’s sit down.” He turned and faced the living room. When he looked at her over his shoulder and pointed to the couch, she nodded.

  She followed him, and when they were both seated side by side, there was a moment of silence.

  “How about I start?”

  “Okay.” She turned her body so they could stare at each other when they spoke and waited for him to say whatever it was he was going to say.

  “I’ve never done this before.” He leaned back, placed an arm over the back of the couch, and spread his legs slightly so he took on this relaxed position.

  “Done what? Have a conversation?” Stella was trying to go for a less weird vibe by teasing a little, because honestly she had never been in a situation like this either, but Cadeon didn’t even crack a smile. “I’ve never had to talk about something like this either.”

  He didn’t respond for several seconds, and she shifted on the couch as the awkwardness intensified. Should she say something else or wait?

  “You know what your dad and the Vicious Bastards would do to me if they knew I fucked you?” He said that sentence with absolutely no emotion, and her mouth dried and her throat suddenly started to swell shut. “I’ll tell you what they’d do.” Again, a moment of silence, and she wondered if he was going for some kind of shock value or if he actually wanted her to answer. “They’d beat the living shit out of me, and when they stopped for a second to allow me to catch my breath, they would bring out the crowbars and chains.” He stared her right in the eye.

  “I have grown up with those men, and yes, they are dangerous and can live up to their club’s name, but I also know they want me to be happy.” Her father’s MC wasn’t just called the Vicious Bastards because it sounded intimidating, but because they were exactly that. She might never have been in the thick of the violence, because her father had made sure to always keep her away, protected and ignorant, but she knew.

  She had seen them come back to the clubhouse many times over, some with gunshot wounds, others with busted faces. She had even seen them carrying a fallen member. But she never asked what happened, never pried into “club business.”

  “Yeah, they want you to be happy, Stella, but I’m just some asshole who took something that I shouldn’t have. That doesn’t go over very well with them.”

  She shook her head. “I’m an adult, Cadeon. This is my life, and they know that.” Would her dad be mad? Most likely. But the other guys, even though they were like her family, would listen to her and how she felt far more effectively than her dad would.

  He smiled, but it wasn’t genuine. “Stella, baby, you are the daughter of the club president. No matter how old you are, Scars will see you as his little girl. I want you, but the last thing I want to do is show disrespect. We had sex, incredible sex, but still, I knew better than to go there with you.”

  She shook her head, but she didn’t know what she was shaking it to. No, that was a lie; she knew. In her heart, she just had the feeling that Cadeon was going to tell her that she was good enough to fuck but not good enough for more. Damn the tightening in her chest at that thought. “If you’re going to say it, then just say it.” She found this almost violent strength inside her, and her voice rose from her anger. “I am sick of guys being pussies because of who I’m associated with.” She would not cry, but rage-filled tears threatened to spill.

  Cadeon leaned forward and rested his forearms on his thighs. He kept direct eye contact with her. “You know what the truth is, Stella? If the MC doesn’t approve of who you want, you know that guy is as good as broken.”

  She didn’t say anything, couldn’t. What Stella did wish he would do was get on with it.

  “But my reputation is just as shady as the Vicious Bastards’. I’ve done bad stuff, things that could have put me away for a very long time if I was ever caught—”

  “Just say it, dammit.” Her voice was louder, and her anger continued to grow. “I’m not about to play this cat-and-mouse game or listen to you try to justify why you think all we can have is some kind of physical relationship behind everyone’s back.” She wouldn’t cry. “Because if you think they wouldn’t be
okay with you being with me, then they sure as hell wouldn’t be okay knowing I am your pussy on the side.” She stood, her frustration climbing higher.

  “Sit down, Stella.”

  She shook her head. This was her house, and she had been stupid enough to think his parting words at the shop meant more than what they really had. But everything inside her felt like a jumbled mess. It seemed like an eternity that she had wanted Cadeon, and the very idea that he might not want her in the same deep way hurt in the worst kind of way. She was human, after all, and couldn’t help these wild feelings moving through her at a rate she couldn’t even comprehend.

  “Sit down.” His voice was deeper, harder, and there was that dominating quality laced in his words like there had been when he was inside her. No, she wouldn’t even go there. Hell no. Cadeon stood before she could even say anything in response. He had his hand buried in the back of her hair and her head tilted back, so she was forced to look in his face. “Stella, I can see on your pretty little face that you’re jumping to all kinds of fucked-up conclusions. I haven’t even finished what I was going to say.” He had that sandpapery tenor to his voice, and she clenched her hands at her sides and swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat from her erratic emotions. “Now, what I was going to say was that the MC would kill me if they knew what I did with you and what I want to do with you.”

  She blinked, trying to comprehend what he was saying and trying to keep her emotions in check so she could think through this clearly. He didn’t know how deep her feelings went for him and that she had been in love with him since she was twenty years old.

  “I don’t give a shit what they try to do to me, because I want you more than for that one time, Stella.” He used his other hand to cup her cheek and used his thumb to run it along her bottom lip. “Maybe I should just walk away. I know what I feel for you might piss a lot of people off.” It was almost like he was speaking to himself, but even if she wanted to respond, she couldn’t find the words. “I wanted you like a fiend before, but I’ve tasted you now, and there isn’t anyone or anything that is going to stop me from making sure you stay mine.”